Welcome, my friends, to the First Church of Misogynist Crackpottery. Today’s sermon will be delivered by The Very Extremely Reverend AfOR, visiting from The Spearhead. He has many wise words on the topics of Mary Magdalene (Mother of God), space aliens, and cunts.
Sorry, xtainity was always a crock of shit, and I have seen inside it deeper than most….
Today, in the 21st century, we can for the first time create a pregnant virgin, so 2,000 years ago “god” was an alien, or a figment of imagination.
2,000 years ago Mary Magdalene even if impregnated via test tube in the lab on the alien space ship, gave birth via the cunt, so no tight virginity there.
Ever since then, the holy trinity…
1/ God, an ethreal being that no-one ever saw, except jesus, so if he existed he was an alien ship doctor.. eg he was NOT human.
2/ Jesus, who was NOT human, even the biblical teachings stress this point, he was not a man.
3/ Mary Magdalene, the only human, and therefore the MOST REVERED human in the religion is a wimminz, who fucked an alien to get preggers and got Joe the carpenter to pay for it all and feed and house them.
“Chivalry” in the middle ages was literally based on worship of Mary Magdalen’s cunt, and the chivalric symbology and iconography is replete with cunt symbolism, right down to the order of the garter.
The only remotely male centric tenets of christianity were lifted wholesale from other religions and beliefs and incorporated in an early example of embrace and extend.
Christianity has NEVER been a man’s religion.
Hell even the pristhood, the highest echelons of the meme, were not allowed to fuck.
Thanks to scarletpipistrelle for pointing me to AfOR’s wonderfully imaginative theological thinking.
…Mary Magdalene isn’t the same Mary as Mary Mother of Jesus. O_o
The Da Vinci Code would have been at least five times better if it had been revealed that Mary Magdalene was impregnated by an alien, that’s all I’m saying.
I know I am usually the first to suggest theology/religious stories are irrelevant, but I can’t help but be a bit amused that he thinks Mary Magdelene and Virgin Mary and the same character.
That’s what they want you to think! AfOR has “seen deeper!”
Already been ninja’d by everyone on the Magdalen/Virgin thing. But since he’s gotten that teensy li’l fact wrong, it kind of screws up everything else he’s said.
Also, I like his statement that there are no men in the religion. I imagine a sort of “Life of Brian” style response to that.
“What about Moses?”
“Well, of course Moses”
“And John the Baptist”
“Yes, yes, obviously Moses and John the Baptist but…”
“And Abraham and Isaac.”
“I know…”
“Jacob”
“Alright…”
“And all the disciples”
“Okay, okay, apart from Moses, John the Baptist, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, all the disciples, there are no men in the Bible.”
“You forgot David.”
“Which David?”
“Any David.”
… Does that make God a Birth Queen or a Pollination Technition?
[/Sims 2 fan]
Mary Magdalene being the Virgin Mary and mother of Jesus is part of Marvel’s Ultimate universe reboot of the Jesus franchise.
BUT THEY’RE BOTH NAMED MARY IT’S TOO BIG OF A COINCIDENCE.
By the way, you all do realize this means we have to decide which Science Fiction starship doctor is actually Yahweh, right?
I cast my vote for the Emergency Medical Hologram from Voyager (later named Joe).
I mean, the show kind of stank, but Robert Picardo can make anything good as long as he’s on camera. He’s a god we can believe in.
Ah, the “all the figures in world religions were actually aliens” conspiracy theory.. one of the classics.
@Tulgey Logger: Robert Picardo/the hologram doctor was the BEST thing on that (not very good) show. We adored him.
@Tulgey Logger
Dr Zoidberg!
I’m not saying it was aliens…but it was Totally ALIENS!!!!!11!!
they dumb
Pretty sure that Mary’s alien impregnator was a facehugger. Though it may just be that I skipped Sunday school that week to go watch Aliens. I’m not sure.
Yes! Two for Picardo! Great minds think like Ithiliana.
But then again, creativewritingstudent has a compelling case:
Proof!!!!
DAMN YOU NINJA!!!!!!
What’s the term for when you ninja someone, but it turns out you were surpassed by the person you ninja’d?
Has anyone on The Spearhead pointed out this little factual error to Mr. AfOR? Or are facts MISANDRY?
And then Mary Magdalene, or was it Mary Poppins? Well, no matter, Mary whoever totally turned around and false-rape-accused the alien, amirite?
Freitag, yeah, at least one person there has pointed out the error.
Where’s Owly when you need him?
This is the only correction I saw of AfOR:
There seems to be a sort of MRA code of honor (less so on r/mr, more so on the Spearhead, and massive on AVfM) that you don’t call out people for extreme or ludicrous viewpoints, as long as they’re MRA ones.
So this other guy can make a factual correction, he can say “hey, wrong Mary,” but it’s against the damn code of honor to go “wait, alien conspiracy theories that somehow manage to blame women anyway, wtf?”