Sorry to return so quickly to the fetid mind of MRA blabologist JohnTheOther, but, well, you’ll see why I have.
Here is Mr. TheOther in AskReddit, responding to the question “Women of Reddit, how do you feel about cumshots?” (No, he is not strictly speaking a “woman of Reddit,” not like that’s going to stop him.) Enjoy the irony of the A Voice for Men second banana rehashing, apparently with utter sincerity, an argument once set forth, rather infamously, by a feminist fellow named Hugo Schwyzer. And enjoy the also-very-special response from fellow MRA SuicideBanana, whom we met earlier in the week.
I know Mr. TheOther is concerned about people “quote mining” comments, and presenting them out of context, but in this case, there is no further context. His comment, which I have presented unedited in screenshot form, isn’t in response to any other comment; it’s simply an answer to the question I alluded to above. Mr. TheOther does respond to SuicideBanana’s remarks about him being an advocate and facilitator of violence, as you can see if you clicky click here, but sheds no more light on the issue of porno cumshots as a “pseudo-mystical representation of the sexuality of the viewer.”
Re: flavored condoms- they are generally not an option for me since most of them are made of latex and I am at least mildly allergic to them. I have also noticed that a lot of guys seem to get offended if I ask them to wash up their privates before I put my face in the area. I always at least wipe up completely before sex because it just seems like the right thing to do. The best scenario is giving oral sex to my partner after he has been soaking in the hot tub for awhile. Then it isn’t bad at all even though I still don’t get off by doing it.
There is something very wrong with some people.
I don’t have much experience, but for me that’s pretty much a requirement, especially if that’s without condom.
This isn’t something i’ve ever really thought about, but washing, or more likely a shower beforehand still seems like a no-brainer to me. Then again (possibly TMI 😛 ), i’m a warm person (as in, bodily) so showers are sort of a necessity to get rid of the icky sweaty feeling. I don’t expect that someone would want to put up with that ickyness.
Random semi-related tangeant, but I wish it would stop being summer already. Between overheating from warm body + warm weather, and the hayfever, it’s the worst time of year for me. 🙁
I hear you, Shade. Summer is not my friend.
@Kyrie- I think that the problem- there’s this weird thing that I’ve encountered where the guy I was with at the time seems to think that he’s a “saint” for “putting up” with my unshaven (but trimmed) pubic hair (notice that I don’t request or really enjoy oral sex all this much largely because of the average heterosexual male response to my ladybits). However, I still do keep myself clean and either shower or use copious amounts of unscented babywipes to make the area appealing, fresh and not at all smelling like urine or anything like that. Most guys don’t seem to wipe after peeing, so the urine smell just permeates into the head of the penis, and most of the time it just seems like even if he wipes himself it still has the odor. Showering or soaking in a hot tub seems to remedy these problems, so chances are, if I’m planning on enduring giving oral sex, I’ll probably suggest shower/hot tub soaking in a “sexy” way to trick the person into not smelling like a bathroom in the groin area. When I suggest these things straight to their faces, a lot of guys act offended and then there’s no hope for sex because his ego is all bruised and sad so I then must spend time helping repair it.
*sigh*
Nanasha: I am surprised that people respond that poorly to a reasonably pleasant but direct “if you want that, make sure you don’t smell like pee down there, here’s what you can do.”
Though not as surprised as I’d like to be.
I see how the “you try it” conversation probably isn’t the best way to refuse a sex act you don’t want to do it at all. But it does seem like it would be a good approach if you’re up for a specific sex act maybe, but it depends on the partner’s motivation.
Like, say A asks B to receive anal, and B says “sure, you first”. B might be okay with anal if A says “sounds like fun, let’s go” or “huh, never thought about it, but if you’re interested we can try it” or even “I’m not sure if I’m up for that- let’s discuss it.”. But B might NOT be okay with anal if A’s response is, “it’s degrading to receive,” or “that’s disgusting”.
Or would this approach still be kinda off base here? (Inexperienced virgin alert)
Most guys don’t seem to wipe after peeing – Nanasha
Well I can’t speak for everyone with a penis, but penis + toilet paper tends to be less than fun, especially if it breaks up easily. Uh, the paper that is, not the penis. O.O
The more I read about this, the more showering before sex seems like a good idea (to me at least).
Seriously, what kind of person objects so strongly to sex while clean?
I’m sorry Nanasha, these guys are jerks. 🙁 The only advice I can think of is not forgetting that you deserve respect, of which this kind of behavior certainly lacks. As for the hair, I think that might be the ind of time where the “you first!” strategy mentioned above might be applicable. Since most guys don’t shave their genitals, I really don’t see why they would “deserve” the same from their lovers.
I think a big part of the blame goes to fiction, and especially movies and tv and the way they describe sex: it’s something that happens spontaneously, people get horny and jump at each other, no matter how sweaty, dusty, dirty in any the people are. I really think we value spontaneity way to much.
If a guy wanted oral but sulked about and/or refused a request to clean up first, to me that’s a deal breaker. That kind of selfishness AND insecurity do not bode well…
Commemoration of an achievement and marking of territory are the reasons why facials are a popular practice of a lot of straight men. It’s a het guy thing. Also, many straight men expect women to be as appreciative of their natural bodily smells and tastes as straight men are of women’s natural bodily smells and tastes. Of course, rational logic, it’s most likely, not hygienic, but again, it’s another result of animal instinct.
You consider ejaculating an achievement? Your life seems very sad and empty.
Obvious fact, women are nobody’s property nor territory.
I’ve noticed a lot of feminist hyperbole surrounding facials. It’s common in porn simply because it’s an easy way to indicate the end of a video. No other reason.
Dude, have you read the OP? Those weren’t feminists. Also, hyperbole? I do not think it means what you think means.
you can use the words “END” to indicate the end of the videa. Or a woman ejaculating for that matter. Or thousands other ways. You’re being naive.
RE The smell/showering issue, that was the best case of a cultural difference that I actually appreciated with the ex from Osaka who I mentioned above. He seemed to assume that bathing before sex was just what people do, and why would anyone not? Which made me go “hey, you know, that’s actually an excellent thing to have as a standard assumption about how sex works”.
Obviously not everyone is as much of a germphobe as I am, but in terms of choosing sexual partners really excellent personal hygiene definitely works as a point in someone’s favor for me. The idea of people actively choosing to be as unappealing as possible on a smell level out of some sort of stubborn sense of “you must take me as I am!” just seems really childish and stupid.
Right, ’cause “The End” is so hard to put up at the end. Or, you know, fading to black and throwing the credits up. That would be WAAAAAAY too difficult.
other possible signs that it’s the end: it ends
‘well, the video stopped and we’re back on the title menu, but nobody got hit in the face with a load, so it’s probably just a trick. probably a feminist was involved’
how mras watch porn, aparently
Or thousands other ways. – Kyrie
How about a dance number?
I really don’t have a problem with facials, or with porn featuring facials. People can have their fun any way they like. So I’m not going to hold up a “feminists hate facials” strawman for you, sorry.
However, I do have a problem with women (porn actresses or not) being pressured into doing facials when they don’t want to. I do have a problem with facials being imbued with absolute symbolism–the symbolism of a facial depends who’s doing it, and it’s not humiliating nor “accepting” unless that’s how it is in your sexual dynamic. And I have a big ol’ problem with facials being presented as mandatory because otherwise you aren’t a good fuck or don’t really like him or whateverthefuck.
QuantumSparkle — your breakdown of “you first” is basically why I use the line. It’s more a test of if my partner gets that slow, carefully and with lots of lube are required.
Re: “this scene is over” — know how that works in theatre? Lights cut to black, techies make like ninjas and change things around without being seen, lights come back up on the next scene. Funny how that could work fine on film too huh?
Re: facials — I was friends of a friend with a couple at one point, got to learn way too much about their sex life — they broke up because she wanted facials and he found it too degrading to do. Hugo et al are seriously oversimplifying this. (And if you just want to cum on your partner, there’s plenty of other skin that doesn’t risk salty semen in the eyes, maybe just aim a bit lower guys?)
“maybe just aim a bit lower guys?”
But that would deprive them of the sense of power that they gain from forcing their partners into doing something when the partners are saying “no, I’d really rather not” and/or looking miserable about the whole thing. It’s a classic power play.