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antifeminism MRA nice guys whaaaaa?

He blogs … just like a woman

This just in: I am a woman! Again. At least according to a blogger calling herself miliefisathand, who recently wrote a post about that “are nice guys sociopaths?” post I wrote a while ago.

Her evidence? When writing her response to me, she repeatedly found herself referring to me using female pronouns — so therefore I must actually be a woman.

Yes, that’s actually her argument:

While editing my article I lost count of the number of times I had to change “her” or “she” to “him” and “he”. I don’t normally make gender pronoun errors so I have a deep suspicion that the author is a woman impersonating a man. I’m spiritually sensitive to such things.

Hate to break it to you, but your guy-dar is way off. Protip: I post under my real name, and if you google that name, you will find ample evidence that I am, in fact, a real, living dude.

In the case of MRA dudes who misgender me as a woman, it’s clearly the result of their misogyny. In the case of miliefisathand, a self-described Smartassed Burmese Transwoman, I don’t quite understand what exactly is going on.

She also misses the point of my post, and the comments from regulars here that offered some pretty sensible criticisms of what I wrote, but at this point it’s not exactly a shock to see a Man Boobz critic arguing against things I didn’t say rather than things I did say.

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zhinxy
8 years ago

I strongly suspect you’re a natural redhead and had braces at some point. I’M Spiritually Sensitive to THAT sort of thing.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

I’m spiritually sensitive to such things.

Wow. That is one of the most stupid, pretentious things I’ve ever heard anyone say.

the twisted spinster
the twisted spinster
8 years ago

I don’t really understand what this person has against your post. For a “Burmese transwoman” miliefisathand sure seems to have a lot invested in protecting “nice guys” from criticism.

the twisted spinster
the twisted spinster
8 years ago

Also, yeah, beware of people who say things like “I’m spiritually sensitive.” That goes in the same run-away-fast bin as “I’m very compassionate” and “I’m totally without any prejudices whatsoever.” I can tell you right now that I’m fairly obtuse (spiritually and otherwise), have plenty of prejudices (that I am working on getting rid of or adjusting), and you can fit my “compassion” into a very small thimble.

indifferentsky
8 years ago

To me, this reeks of her hating women.

She hates you [David} ergo…

She flubbed in her writing and referred to you as female
because in her mind you’re female
because she hates you.

And that’s my criminal profiling for the day.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
8 years ago

Also, yeah, beware of people who say things like “I’m spiritually sensitive.” That goes in the same run-away-fast bin as “I’m very compassionate” and “I’m totally without any prejudices whatsoever.” I can tell you right now that I’m fairly obtuse (spiritually and otherwise), have plenty of prejudices (that I am working on getting rid of or adjusting), and you can fit my “compassion” into a very small thimble.

I would like to take a moment to let everyone here know that I am a vicious, needy bastard with no morals whatsoever. 😉

indifferentsky
8 years ago

Another obtuse thing about her hippy dippy screed is that everyone knows David
should be pictured as a cat.

Amirite? We don’t have to all be cat whisperers, spiritually sensitive to the feline to pick up on that vibe.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

The first thing I thought when I read this: Aerosmith’s “Dude (Looks Like a Lady)”, but with “looks” replaced with “blogs”.

Polliwog
Polliwog
8 years ago

I have a deep suspicion that you’re a fluffy toy llama impersonating a human being. I’m spiritually sensitive to such things. Don’t even try to deny your llama-osity!

You know, I’ve occasionally had the experience of internally misgendering someone on the internet (usually because I subconsciously “decided” they were male/female based on something like the sound of their screenname before having any definitive information on the subject, and then found out their actual gender later). Weirdly, my conclusion from this has always been “sometimes my subconscious is silly, also, I should be careful not to accidentally call-so-and-so a dude because that would be rude,” and not “obviously, my random perception based on extremely limited information is a much better determinant of their gender than what they freaking say their gender is!” I’m pretty wacky like that.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

How about when you constantly imagine someone to be something based on their avatar or name, or something else that linked your brain to a random thing? That’s what I do.

That’s why, for me, the Manboobz comments are populated by anthropomorphic animals, plants and other random things, rather than people. O.O

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

Aw… I feel special… she quoted me.

Then again, this is what she thinks is great writing (as opposed to the slop here, which she can barely bring herself to call a blog).

But I’d like to add that to compare nice guys to sociopaths in any context, even in loose analogy, is pretty disingenuous. sociopaths are smooth and slick.

I know this, my brother is dating one. She will plot and scheme. No anxiety, No remorse, and most importantly, no stress. She has slept with numerous friends of mine including my guitarist who was also a sociopath. My bandmate was also a piece of work; a sociopath as well. He would pose as a music promoter and jack thousands of dollars from local rappers/ dubstep Dj’s and bands. He also sold a metric shiton of fake drugs to highschoolers.

Umn… no.

That’s actually exactly what she says she is complaining about here.

Then again, she’s got no love for the nice guys she pretends to be defending.

“Nice guys” live their lives in fear and insecurity. Any “boastfulness” they have or misogyny they spout are cries of a wounded and disgustingly pathetic animal. If nice guys really didn’t care, they’d be happy in their stress and care free mind. They do care, but they are so out of touch with reality and humanity that their souls have become rotten. Someone should put them out of their misery really.

And this

Of course your loyal readers will probably try to bash this. You and(again your readers) may back pedal and say that you can brazenly compare two or three different demographics on the basis of their toxicity. But, you can’t just look at the results. Well…I suppose you don’t have to. But if you want to be enlightened about men and women and act as an authority on such subjects, you have the responsibility to understand the underlying concepts that motivate human beings rather than add your own form of poison.

Is the lack of ironic icing on the cake, which she baked here:

Of course your loyal readers will probably try to bash this. You and(again your readers) may back pedal and say that you can brazenly compare two or three different demographics on the basis of their toxicity. But, you can’t just look at the results. Well…I suppose you don’t have to. But if you want to be enlightened about men and women and act as an authority on such subjects, you have the responsibility to understand the underlying concepts that motivate human beings rather than add your own form of poison.

katz
8 years ago

She can’t be really spiritually attuned, or she would realize that David is a group of women.

indifferentsky
8 years ago

Gender is essential and binary, that’s why people post either as girls or boys, and some people are spiritually sensitive to sniffing out which.
/irony

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Maybe its the estrogen content of all the women posters here. Its slowly changing you…

One of us! One of us!

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

Welcome among us, Easter Bunny, huh, David. Or Davida, whatever.
Guys, guys, I just discovered that David Futrelle is the Easter Bunny! And I have proof, see my sentence above.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

While editing my article I lost count of the number of times I had to change “her” or “she” to “him” and “he”. I don’t normally make gender pronoun errors so I have a deep suspicion that the author is a woman impersonating a man. I’m spiritually sensitive to such things.

Interesting. And here I would have thought, wow, I’m screwing this up an awful lot. Maybe I should take a nap or something and then I’ll suck less when I pick this article up again and finish it.

Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Whenever I talk about David, I have to resist the urge to purr, roll in the grass, and generally trip out. This is because I am a cat and Futrelle is actually a sentient colony of animated catnip.

I am spiritually sensitive to such things.

Ithiliana
8 years ago

JULIE ANDREWS OMG SO HOT!

Ithiliana
8 years ago

miliefisathand’s blog is fucking hard to read (small white-ish grey font on black background).

I’m spiritually sensitive to that sort of thing.

Well, actually not. I wear bifocals.

May I say David’s blog is always easy to read (I like the color/font change for the quotes as well as the spacing). EASY to read is GOOD people.

Wisteria
Wisteria
8 years ago

zhinxy wrote: “I strongly suspect you’re a natural redhead and had braces at some point.”

No, that’s me.

On some Usenet newsgroups, I was accused of being a man pretending to be a woman.

creativewritingstudent
creativewritingstudent
8 years ago

How about when you constantly imagine someone to be something based on their avatar or name, or something else that linked your brain to a random thing? That’s what I do.

I do that, but only if its a living, sentient thing. So, anime characters, random people, kitties etc., but not plants, cars, or random graphics etc..
However, I am not an adorable frost spirit, hee-ho!

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

I browse with images turned off. So I picture all of you as a combination of a weird mental image of your name–don’t ask–and that little image placeholder.

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

I don’t get the fuss. Isn’t it already established that all male feminists are manginas. Doesn’t that make them honorary women, or something? That’s what tripped her guydar: David’s FEMinism.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

This person has a lot in common with MRAs. When they make the same mistake over and over again they are right to do so because it is not a mistake, the facts are wrong, and they are always right.
Brilliant!

garvan
garvan
8 years ago

Wow, just wow.

Clinging to a male identity is kind of male privilege.

I think we’d all like to see Mr. Futrelle do more to check hir own privilege.

Here’s a hint: if someone identifies you as female, and you decide you identify as male, you’re oppressing your own feminine, and in essence oppressing ALL WOMEN, as though they didn’t exist.

It’s really just an advanced form of privilege denying that liberals like to use to keep women down while pretending to raise them up.

One day I hope Mr. Futrelle can recognize, women are human beings.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
8 years ago

Well, “spiritually sensitive” does sound a lot better than “I pulled it out of my ass.”

ragefromthebasement
8 years ago

What the fuck is she even talking about?

ragefromthebasement
8 years ago

And hasn’t the hive mind already awarded David an honorary vagina, anyway?

Shadow
8 years ago

Well, “spiritually sensitive” does sound a lot better than “I pulled it out of my ass.”

I can see why that would leave her feeling sensitive. Someone should advise her to keep her opinions in a more comfortable place

postman
postman
8 years ago

She exhibits an amazing talent for reading “comprehesion”. Like how she thought you were backpedaling from calling Nice Guys sociopaths. After quoting you saying the exact opposite in the beggining of her post.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I do that, but only if its a living, sentient thing. So, anime characters, random people, kitties etc., but not plants, cars, or random graphics etc..

FTR I totally am a bunch of viscaria flowersz

miliefisathand
8 years ago

I am in no way defending “nice guys”. In a way I am, however, defending sociopaths. As horrible as the things they are capable of are, I think to list them along side the sniveling wimp that is the nice guy is…

1. dangerous (waters down the sense of caution that needs to be exercised when in the presence of true sociopathy. then again this may be their plan after all)

2. disingenuous (its giving “nice guys” more credit than they deserve)

3. Misleading (misinforms the reader. comparing a nice guy to a sociopath is a slippery slope into comparing them to aspies (which is more than bit offensive, don’t you think?)

4. Pointless (I have a slight hunch nice guys are a relatively new phenomenon, the most educated choice would be to compare them to nothing. “niceguys”, being the bottom of the barrel would only gain ill deserved repute and all other groups in such comparisons would suffer undeserved defamation. Such drivel will always be slanderous.

Another thing, The whole David’s-gender-thing is just me talking shit.
Saying I’m spiritually aware of such things is a component of my shit talk: The punchline to my joke if shit talking can be considered humorous; which it is.

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

Miliefsathand – I can actually see your point of view on the “sociopath” thing. I don’t think that giving strangers Internet Diagnoses is appropriate, even as shit talk.

But I don’t think misgendering people is appropriate, even as shit talk.

Anyway I’m pretty sure David is a five-year-old boy with a terrifyingly red complexion. That’s how I always picture him.

katz
8 years ago

Does your post come with a decoder ring telling people which parts are supposed to be taken seriously and which parts are talking shit? Because to a general observer, the whole thing appears to be shit.

Ruby Hypatia
Ruby Hypatia
8 years ago

So she thinks she has a supernatural ability? I suppose that belief makes her feel more special than us mere mortals.

miliefisathand
8 years ago

I never said I was trying to be appropriate. My perception of his gender was inaccurate. I thought he was a she. I found this slightly amusing and felt compelled to make it known. To segregate my digression from the rest of my post I wrote in italics wherever applicable.

“I can see why that would leave her feeling sensitive. Someone should advise her to keep her opinions in a more comfortable place”

touche! WordPress>my ass. I’m afraid it wins every time.

“Does your post come with a decoder ring telling people which parts are supposed to be taken seriously and which parts are talking shit? Because to a general observer, the whole thing appears to be shit.”

This one is clever too.

katz
8 years ago

Estimated time to meltdown: 2 hours. This one is sensitive.

jumbofish
8 years ago

Wow, just wow.

Clinging to a male identity is kind of male privilege.

I think we’d all like to see Mr. Futrelle do more to check hir own privilege.

Here’s a hint: if someone identifies you as female, and you decide you identify as male, you’re oppressing your own feminine, and in essence oppressing ALL WOMEN, as though they didn’t exist.

It’s really just an advanced form of privilege denying that liberals like to use to keep women down while pretending to raise them up.

One day I hope Mr. Futrelle can recognize, women are human beings.

This poe is odd…

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

Well the subject of the post is here, Ruby has also popped her head in, this is going to get messy..

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
8 years ago

Wow, just wow.

Clinging to a male identity is kind of male privilege.

I think we’d all like to see Mr. Futrelle do more to check hir own privilege.

Here’s a hint: if someone identifies you as female, and you decide you identify as male, you’re oppressing your own feminine, and in essence oppressing ALL WOMEN, as though they didn’t exist.

It’s really just an advanced form of privilege denying that liberals like to use to keep women down while pretending to raise them up.

One day I hope Mr. Futrelle can recognize, women are human beings.

So, Accepting People 101!

People are people.

Gender is a thing about people. The only thing you should be paying attention to when deciding what gender someone is is the gender they tell you they are! Then you will not get transpeople hating you for getting it wrong.

David says he is a man, ergo he is a man. Hoorah! We’re done!

… I just summoned all the anti-trans trolls down on my head, didn’t I?

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

@Jumbo, what is this I don’t even

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
8 years ago

So she thinks she has a supernatural ability? I suppose that belief makes her feel more special than us mere mortals.

Oddly like the belief that someone is a Good Progressive Person despite being in favour, in some circumstances, of rapists raping people.

Heh.

katz
8 years ago

I’m surprised garvan didn’t start that post with “since it’s just us women here, wouldn’t you agree that…”

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

Also: “I suppose that belief makes her feel more special than us mere mortals.”

This makes me wonder if Ruby is setting us up every time she posts, I mean come on! It’s just so obvious and ripe for a comeback.

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

Pretty sure Garvan’s just funnin’, you guys.

And I wish Ruby wouldn’t drop in with these “ha ha, everything’s fine between us, how bout those MRAs” comments. It puts me in this weird situation where I’d feel kinda vindictive saying “WELL THANKS, RAPE APOLOGIST” to her relatively innocuous comments, but at the same time I feel kinda trampled on if I let her pretend everything’s cool.

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
8 years ago

Holly: re Garvan: Hope so!

Re Ruby: This one was too perfect a setup to go for. Most of the time I don’t, but when there’s a direct link to the rape apologism…

Brian Connors
8 years ago

garvan, what the bloody hell are you on about? Or just on?

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
8 years ago

shit fuck damn

Cliff. Sorry.

swankivy
8 years ago

miliefisathand: *Makes an assumption, misgenders someone as a result of said assumption, attempts to justify mistake by claiming assumption might secretly be Truth*

Internet: *Mocks this*

miliefisathand: *Claims she was kidding and it was Internet’s fault for not getting it*

Wait.

I have no idea if you were actually trying to claim that you can see through David’s dude disguise to the woman he “actually” is . . . or whether you were “shit talking” like you said when you were called out on this foolishness . . . but seriously: it’s an awesome idea to say what you mean and only what you mean. If you don’t want to be one of those people who reaches for the “devil’s advocate” defense every time they turn out to be wrong about something, seriously, don’t misgender people and then claim you’re likely to know better than they do what gender they are. Whether in fun or in plain jerkitude, that’s an asshat thing to do.

(And if you actually meant it at all underneath the “I was shit-talking” defense – meant that your assumptions about other people’s gender are more likely to be true than to be misperceptions – all I’ll say is wow, check that ego. People make mistakes, and that includes you.)

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

MorkaisChosen – no worries. I only have a problem when people get all “well you’re really Holly, see I remembered who you are, you can’t fool me” about it.

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