So the fellas over on the Men’s Rights Subreddit were having a little discussion the other day about the c-word, and wondering just why so many ladies get so offended by that word. I mean, it’s just a word. (Not like “creep” which is the worst possible thing anyone could possibly call someone else, and a clear abuse of their human rights.)
Funcuz, for his part, blamed Oprah for the unpopularity of the c-word among women:
Hardwarequestions, in a rather circular manner, blamed the offensiveness of the word “cunt” on women, for being offended in the first place:
The only one who seemed to think the insult was genuinely a big deal was expletive-deleted, who rather likes it that way:
Men’s Rights Activism at its finest!
I tend to use “fuck” when something goes wrong, and don’t use any other swear words, apart from damn or “oh shit” very occasionally. My computer tends to bear the brunt of my language.
Swearing at another person in the way that a number of commentators have mentioned (many mentioning it as observers, rather than being the person swearing), is a way to deliver emotional pain. It’s a crude, boring tool that preschoolers are capable of using. Without wishing to encourage people to be nasty to others, I have found that when I am being sorely pushed by an adult, who has ignoring my repeated requests to stop harassing me, and when I am not in physical danger, that a verbal putdown that targets all their sensitive buttons (and without swearing) can be devastating. I try to treat people with respect and kindness, but if I’m being harrassed/insulted/bullied, the gloves come off.
I feel obligated to mention the best use of the word ‘cunt’ ever:
Ruby:
And yet you think torture is hi-larious. Go you.
“It was offensive before Oprah. And like the n-word and the f-word, I wish we never had to hear it again.”
…does she mean fuck? She who finds prison rape a justified and humorous thing is offended by the word fuck? Maybe if we say fuck enough she’ll fucking finally fuck the fuck off? Know what I find fucking hilarious Ruby? People fucking offended by the fucking word fuck.
burgundy — no problem, I’d been reading on Brevik so it’d have been difficult for that search to be more offensive.
Me and my husband started discussing what the worst Swedish insult we could think of were. We couldn’t really come up with anything worse than “Jävla svin” or “jävla arsle” which literally translates as “devilish pig” and “devilish arse”. (The former is of course pretty specisist…).
But then we remembered that “hora” (whore) is quite often used as an insult by more or less misogynistic douchebags, and that’s a gendered one. There’s really no male equivalent.
I thought she meant fag and, you know, that’s bad, but I think actual physical abuse–in many cases leading to injury, death, or later suicide–is much fucking worse.
Ruby, you like torture. Think about your life choices.
Random internet opinion, activate!
I tend to swear a lot (at least when I talk to myself and when i’m with friends), but i’ve pretty much tried to (and continue to try to) ditch all the derogatory words I can from my “swearing” vocab. Luckily most of the vagina-specific ones were never there in the first place (probably for aesthetical reasons rather than non-sexist ones). The ones that I sometimes say, and regret after, are pretty much always ableist ones rather than sexist ones.
I’ve even mostly ditched the penis-specific personal insults, because i’d feel hypocritical otherwise. That is, if I believed (which I do) that gender-specific insults were bad, but still used “dick” or “prick” (even though I don’t think i’ve ever used “prick”; another aesthetics thing). Obviously they still aren’t as severe as (no matter what the MRAs say), and don’t have all the cultural connotations/baggage of, the vagina-specific ones.
I still use some penis-specific words, but it’s usually as an exclamation of surprise or frustration where there’s no targeting of an individual or where it relies on the implication that the body part it refers to is somehow bad.
In that case, it’s just me being really, really mature and yelling out rude words that I find funny. For this purpose, it’s usually “penis” or “balls”, or “bollocks” (as well as “damnit”, “fuck” or “shit”). Basically situations where you could replace it with any other word and retain the meaning (conveying frustration or surprise, without relying on the implications of a specific word), like “knee” or “finger”.. except those words aren’t funny.
“Spleen” would work though.
Meanwhile, over at The Spearhead, Price is waxing theological again. “According to the Christian faith, a woman who leaves her husband is an adulteress — even if he consents.” How can a man write so much while having such a shallow mind? How many times will be be simply and factually wrong in public before he becomes the laughingstock that he has earned the right to be?
Hey, NWO: You’re a creep. I’m not saying that because I think you’re a stalker or a rapist. I’m saying it because you’re a fucking creep.
NWO, I think after what happened at elevatorgate, the man was vindicated and women will remember to be cautious about describing men in their lives as anything but “nice”. I think the men’s rights movement scored a strong victory against the word “cr***py” but that is only my interpretation.
@Shade the druid: you pretty much covered my feelings about “dick/prick”. Basically, I do feel that “cunt” is worse, but I also think “dick/prick” are sexist. The thing is, I *like* dicks (which is a little dangerous to admit, perhaps, and I could expand on it, but you get the picture). So calling someone a dick or dickhead is just… wrong.
It’s like when my husband calls someone a cocksucker. I just look at him, deadpan. I tried to explain it to him once, why I didn’t really like that as an insult, but he still doesn’t get it.
Also also, I used to swear by saying “X!” Just that, the letter. It has a satisfying sound. And yesterday I was at work and I found myself swearing by saying “croup” (like crap, but one level more innocent, and has the advantage of being something else that does suck.)
(On a side note, I use “sucks” all the time, and that’s probably not good either. Sometime I have to examine it.)
Once upon a time, in Vancouver, I saw two women, one white, one chinese, get into an argument. It ended with the chinese woman loudly calling the white woman a “Honky” before storming off.
The reaction was nervous laughter from the bystanders, rather than shocked gasps.
Thinking about that made me realize the difference. Insults are meant to “put people in their place”, and a cracker breeder dick like me is on top in the grand scheme of things.
I’m not at risk of being dragged to death behind a truck, refused a job, discriminated against by the economic majority, raped, lynched, enslaved, beaten or spit upon just because of who I am. At worst, I might feel guilty about being on top. If I lacked perspective, or was outright delusional, then I might make turn petty or imagined slights against me or “my people” into making honky JUST AS TERRIBLE as any other racial epithet.
May I promote the use of inherently ridiculous profanity for moments of stress when a bit of silliness might help?
‘Fuckbudgies’ and other such profanityanimals work wonders.
“Elevatorgate” always struck me as a particularly nasty MRA/misogynist effort because Watson’s “offense” was so small. She didn’t get the guy arrested or expelled from the hotel, she didn’t attack him, she didn’t even share his name. She just complained that he bothered her.
The fact that she was fucking dogpiled for this, for speaking out in the smallest possible way, says less “oppressed group fighting back against a hate incident” and more “abuser’s lobby asserting control.”
And maybe I read too much into things, but I read it as a threat–if she can’t get away with even talking about it, you ladies just imagine what would happen if you really fought back.
I often say “Flarb” instead of “Fuck”. It just sounds better to me. Also, when I’m pissed off at something, I sometimes go “Gni”(Guh-nee).
I like to use place names as substitutes for swearing. Yonkers!
I have an elaborate array of pseudo-swears for work.
Oh my word! Oh dear! My goodness! Well jeez! Shoot! Darn! Gosh! Aw heck!
I sound like a hybrid of a grandmother and an extremely modest cowboy, but I don’t shock the patients.
Cliff: “…hybrid of a grandmother and an extremely modest cowboy…”
Weirdest mental image ever.
QFT
I use the same modest words around my kids. I even replace the mild cuss words like fart, butt, and barf. I’ll use words like toot, bottom, and throw up instead. When we have a babysitter and it’s just me and my husband, though, we use more colorful language.
@LeftWingFox: That’s so true. Insults are easy, or at least easier, to shrug off if they come from somebody lower down on the social ladder. It’s when they come from above that they really hurt.
I sometimes fool myself that I’m sort of an extra confident kind of person who’s too smart to let silly comments get to me… Like, recently there was this guy who was calling me some misogynistic shit over the internet and I briefly got a bit pissed off, but didn’t let it bother me much. And then I’ll think that I’m too smart or cool to let shit like that affect me.
The thing is, I’m pretty high up on the privilege ladder. I’m a thin white able-bodied university professor, so often when someone says something insulting that person will be “below” me. I have to remind myself that when an older male colleague once said some pretty condescending remarks I got really upset about it, so no, I’m NOT super extra confident or an extra good person who’s above letting these things affect me. (I e-mailed him later when I had calmed down and explained why I had been hurt by his remarks, and he apologized, so I sorted that out… But I couldn’t just shrug it off, like I could with this internet guy.)
I think, I have learnt that what you can say online can have very real ramifications for your own personal safety and happiness. I agree with your point, however whether my reasons are morally correct, I still feel it is best to avoid being too critical of men, even with the theoretical protection of anonymity.
Oh shit, pear_tree, I thought you were being sarcastic. Didn’t realize you were a sockpuppet troll!
My bad.
Seriously, “cr**py?” That shit’s hilarious.
We used a word when I was younger for “fart” that I haven’t heard for a long time (until recently anyway), but I find it awesome and hilarious: “Guff.”