Happy Fathers’ Day, everyone! Our old friend JeremiahMRA/Things Are Bad is celebrating the day with, well, it looks like a suggestion that divorced men with kids who don’t like their visitation arrangements should murder their ex-wives. Naturally, he gets upvotes for this lovely sentiment from the Spearhead regulars:
And a happy Father’s Day to you too, Jeremiah.
A little story for you, NWO. An ex of mine, who I’m still friends with, had an ex-wife who is the epitome of everything you guys think women are, particularly vengeful ex-wives. Yes, she is a truly vile human being. When they separated and divorced, he was ordered to pay $250 a month in child support for his daughter which he did/still does. He also received visitation rights. Specifically he got every other weekend and three weeks during summer break.
Now pay attention to this next part.
When he hooked up with me, his ex got pissed. So pissed that she began to keep him from seeing his daughter. At first it was plausible. She would claim his daughter was ill, or she was involved with her church youth group, or her grandparents had taken her out of town for the weekend. After about 4 months, it became obvious what she was doing.
Want to know what he did? He didn’t threaten her. He didn’t assault her. He didn’t even lose his temper. What he did do was call his lawyer and the both of them dragged her happy ass back into court where she was read the riot act and ordered to honor the visitation agreement or else be in contempt. She complied.
“Big Daddy protected woman” – 0
Man slave – 1
Idiot.
Charlotte doesn’t want to hear it just once; she wants to ensure that any time anyone starts talking about men doing bad things, the conversation is immediately shifted to be about women and how they suck even more.
We didn’t wait for Charlotte to hear, from many Manboobzers, than some mothers are abusive. She’s as trollish as NWO and his “man evil, woman good” or whatnot.
(some women suck. some women, including some mothers, are liars, abusers, violent, murderers and everything bad a person can be. Happy? That still doesn’t excuse the misogyny of MRAs)
The thing is, MRAs don’t seem to have a problem with child abuse as long as it’s a man doing the abusing. Look at their lionization of whatsisname who set himself on fire because he couldn’t get custody of his daughter. All the MRAs holding him up as a martyr ignore the fact (mentioned in his own ginormous suicide letter) that the reason he couldn’t get custody was that he’d beaten her, at one point punching her in the face for pestering him, and refused to see a counselor about it. Or if they don’t ignore it, they make excuses for it: It was just a little punch in the face! He probably had a good reason! That four-year-old needed to be taught a lesson!
Abusive mothers definitely exist. But I’ve never seen feminists hail abusers as heroes or argue that abusers should have unrestricted access to their victims, and I see that on MRA sites all the time.
“Look at their lionization of whatsisname” — whatshisname was Thomas Ball
And if I followed his epic rant, it wasn’t even over custody, he didn’t want to have to pay child support, or was afraid he’d go to jail for not paying it, or something, and its not fair! It wasn’t just custody though, he didn’t think it fair she’d divorced him, which is a special level of sick and twisted.
You’re right about all the MRA parts though, and Ball’s suicide note was one rambling mess, so I might be mistaken on the details.
Okay, Charlotte, we took the bait. Now you need to admit something — JeremiahMRA’s “final solution” is wrong. Anyone who responds with homicidal violence and murders their children is WRONG.
Trigger warning for discussion of abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse
My father was abusive. Emotionally, psychologically, verbally, and physically. And my mother after the divorce went out of her way to make sure we would visit. The only restriction she placed was that my little sister not go without me or my sister to watch her, because she was so little. He would not take us, I remember him canceling weekends our mother had scheduled for us to visit so he could go get high with his girlfriend. There was no official custody order, he didn’t want us. Well, he wanted my older sister when he realized her could steal her wages and use them to support him, which is why he encouraged her to drop out of school. I refused to visit him ever again when I was sixteen. He got drunk, as did his friend who was there, and he got my fourteen year old brother drunk. As he got more aggressive, I took my little sister (who was nine) and his girlfriend’s grandchild (a toddler) into the backroom and moved a chair in front of the door. I put the baby to sleep and sat with my little sister watching tv with her and telling her that she was safe and everything would be okay. I tried to hide from her the fact that I was terrified. I didn’t have a cell phone, and the house phone was out where they were. I sat there and wondered if it came to a fight how I would protect her and the baby, if my brother and my father’s friend would side against me or stay out of it, if my father would be drunk enough at that point to give me enough of an edge. After my sister fell asleep, I stayed up all night watching that fucking door.
It was one of my mother’s (many) failures as a parent that she didn’t do more to keep us away from that fucking man, especially since the fact that he doesn’t give the smallest of fucks about us would have made it easy. He has beaten girlfriends so bad that they ended up in the hospital with broken ribs and broken jaws. He’s a danger, as well as a bigot and an asshole. This attitude that children must see their fathers no matter what put my fucking safety and maybe even my life in danger, and, worse, it did my little sister’s as well. It was only a jail sentence for theft that kept my cousin’s father from being able to have visitation with her, despite the fact that it was a fucking matter of public record that he had raped her half sister on multiple occasions (he’s currently serving time for a violent rape and attempted murder of another child), under this same fucking bullshit notion that children must have their fathers in their life.
If you were to ask my father why we don’t see him, he would blame my mother, or the women (and me) for being hateful bitches. He wouldn’t consider his own fucking behavior, he never does. I’ve even heard him fucking say that our mother turned us against him, despite the huge amount of effort she had put in to not saying shit in front of us. He didn’t need anyone’s help to make people turn against him. Abusive men lie, and people believe their bullshit because it fits into these patriarchal social narratives. Mothers trying to protect their children against dangerous and abusive men are often villainized and punished for it.
You want to talk evil stepmothers? What about evil stepfathers and evil mother’s boyfriends? My mother’s boyfriend made sexually inappropriate comments about my body when I was as young as eleven, and he threatened to punch me in the face once too. He spit in my face (literally, not metaphorically), used sexist insults against me, tried to attack and humiliate me at every opportunity, made insulting comments about my body. My older sister stood up for me and my brother against him, we were a united front in hating him and in guarding our little sister.
So, as the child of an abusive mother, I still say fuck you asshole if you try and use it as a derail to avoid discussing men’s violence and threats.
No one is ever beneath contempt. You don’t get to dehumanize people no matter what they’ve done. That’s what makes good people better than bad people.
“How many children of divorce actually don’t see their biological fathers on Father’s Day?”
I know the punchline to this joke! “Whenever the mother doesn’t let them.”
Proving that his skills at comedy are as acute as his skills at critical thinking and being a decent person, NWO answers a ‘How many’ setup with a ‘Whenever’ punchline.
NWO GAGTIME SHOWCASE
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Two!
Q: When is a door not a door?
A: No, she went of her own accord!
Thank you, ladies and germs. Take my wife – to get to the other side!
Of course the men who post on the Spearhead and similar sites think they were treated badly by their wives, etc. How often do you hear someone say: ‘O yes, I was an abuser in my last marriage’? Of course, some of them may really have been abused and then snapped, unable to ever trust a woman again- it happens. But I think it is likely that more of them thought being treated badly meant ‘I’m not in charge of absolutely everything in the relationship’.
kiki — +1 internet, you’ve earned it
@dsc
if you need them from an internet stranger, all the internet hugs for that story x
I find NWO’s joke especially ironic because I was the child of two divorced people who shared custody 50/50 and who got along very, very well.
And yet I didn’t always see my dad on Father’s Day, or my mom on Mother’s Day. If I was with the other parent, they didn’t make special arrangements for me to be with the parent-who-corresponded-to-the-holiday unless *I* specifically requested such arrangements. Otherwise, they were both happy with a phone call, and if I had a gift for them I’d give it to them when I saw them next.
For a whole lot of dads, including dads who see their kids regularly and are engaged in their upbringing, “Father’s Day” is just another day in the year. You might get a crayoned card or a crappy tie, or you might get nothing, but it’s no big deal because you are always a father, and you know it.
My mom was always really careful to make sure my dad had the opportunity to see me and my brother on Father’s Day. About 2/3 of the time he’d be in town (as opposed to travelling on business), and so we’d say goodbye to the man who was actively raising us and involved in our lives to go hang out with someone else. There’s no question in my mind who my real dad is, but he had no complaints abou letting our bio dad have the official “day” to preserve the feelings of everyone involved.
I didn’t see either parent because we cut them off again. Urgh.
This has never been in dispute on this blog or among feminists. But that’s not REALLY what you want the commentators here to admit. Instead, you want us to subscribe to the MRA notion that:
(1) The fact that some women suck is because they are evil, cold, calculating, hard-hearted unconscientious monsters who do not deserve one iota of sympathy and are beneath contempt; and
(2) The fact that some men suck is because they were driven to it by those evil, cold, calculating, hard-hearted unconscientious monstrous women who do not deserve one iota of sympathy and are beneath contempt. Also, men’s “rage” is by definition valid, and it is acceptable for a man to express it in any way he wishes, up to, and including killing his ex and the children he professes to love.
In other words, you want us to agree that whoever does anything bad, it’s a woman’s fault, and the magnitude of a man’s hatred and his crimes towards women and children is strictly a measure of how much he was wronged by that monstrous bitch. Right?
Got it.
Bah, Father’s day is just another gimmicky quasi-holiday that’s only there to sell greeting cards like Mother’s day and Valentine’s day. I honestly don’t know any dads that really care THAT much about Father’s day that they would work themselves up into a tizzy over it. People who want to find something to complain about will, I guess.
Oh look, another “let’s kill the bitches” post. Color me not surprised.
I wonder how many of these guys have kids who are old enough to be working part time jobs and can’t always see their dads when they’d like. I know Beloveds daughters couldn’t make it for just that reason. He’ll see them soon and make up for lost time.
Good lord, I thought JMRA was a troll. Or is the story here that 10 MRAs agreed with an obvious troll
Jeremiah is the real deal. He’s not trolling there, he’s serious. And yes, there are MRA’s whoi really do agree with him.
Including own dear old NWO.
Marc Lepine reincarnated.
Um, wait a second. Are we sure that NWO is a real person posting real beliefs? I mean, if you take all his comments, mash them together, then contruct a profile based on the content, you’d get a cartoon.
The only thing I can be sure of is that he craves the attention of all the good people here…..a lot. The attention he recieves here is all negative, but he seems to need it really really bad. *Sniff* it’s sad. But he’s here an awful lot, and gosh, I’m begining to think all he wants is a really big hug.
Otherwise, I have to assume much of the persona he assumes while posting here is fake ’cause it would render him dysfunctional in the real world. His boss would have a hard time telling him to do anything. NWO would shout “SLAVERY!” And the boss would be all, “Whaaaa?” He mentioned an all female cabal that’s controlling the state to make men do things they don’t want to do. You can’t say stuff like that in mixed company. I mean, unless you’re trying to avoid jury duty. Is that what’s going on?
Aw shucks, I’ll just assume you need a hug, dude.
*huggies*
@Nobinayamu, red_locker & katz
90s memories FTW!!
Haven’t you ever met a conservative? -_-
Granted he is more of an extreme conspiracy theorist then some but I have definitely met some conservatives who are pretty extreme and ridiculous like our friend NWO.