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How many breaths does it take you to DESTROY THE FEMINSIT MONSTER?

Today I’d like to present to you a really ranty old post from Masculist Man on his unimaginatively named Men’s Rights Blog.

But let’s do this a little differently this time. Let’s make it a little contest.

I want you to take a deep breath, loosen up your tongue, and see how much of his rant you can read, out loud, in one breath. (Just don’t kill yourself in the process, please.)

Why the militancy

That question has been asked by many MRA’s and the answer should be obvious: what has moderation accomplished for us? What has “niceness” done for us? Besides getting us deeper into this mess. Why be nice to an enemy that not only wants to take everything from you but would like to see you DEAD on top of it. Not only that but if you are a father with sons the average feminist would like to see your young sons dead too …

Oh, crap, that’s as far as I got. Deep, deep breath. Here’s the rest. It took me five breaths to get through it. See if you can beat me.

just because they are male. These Neville Chamberlains would have you believe they can accomplish peace in our time by making deals with these devils and just like any deal with the devil they get burned. Not only them but the rest of us as well. Then the moderates have the nerve to tell us to shut up or we’ll play into the feminist hands. The one thing that I think of is that if we stay silent we definitely will play into the feminists hands,the same if we play “nice”. If we play nice,just as we have for the last 160 years (if you include feminism as a whole) or for 40 years (if you are focusing on 2nd wave feminism) then we will continue to get fucked. Why the militancy? Because it is hard to be nice when you are getting assfucked in court (family to criminal to civil) and it’s really hard to be nice when society blames YOU for what happens in a “he said/she said” situation even though SHE IS THE ONE AT FAULT and it’s really hard to be nice and pleasant when you try to illustrate what is happening to you and/or other men in society when everybody wants to play the ostrich and would rather not know,that is until another “he said/she said” situation arises again and then it’s boom,they back off to the races to repeat the same mistakes as last time and when they do they are applauded by the lemmings that make up society lest they are labelled “politically incorrect”. It seems they would rather kill their own families to avoid being labelled “politically incorrect”. A big problem with moderates is that they are usually staffed by older manginas or young men from single mother homes that don’t want to upset women and that there defeats the purpose of being an MRA because if you don’t upset women then you will stay silent concerning mens’ issues and the women win by your silence. TO ERODE WOMEN’S POWER OVER MEN ONE MUST SPEAK UP AND DESTROY THE FEMINSIT MONSTER THAT WANTS TO DESTROY YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS.

Instead of asking why the militancy one should ask is the militancy legitimate? and the answer is “yes”.

Post your results below!

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Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

i missed the hammer thing. i’ve owned a lot of hammers, and i dont think any of them has ever had a warning label on it.

I think most of them do, these days. The one I bought a couple days ago did.

Sharculese
12 years ago

WARNING: this hammer is essentially a stick with a piece of metal on the end. if used properly, it will smash stuff. if used improperly, it will… also smash stuff. think things through. dont do drugs. always use a condom.

Viscaria
Viscaria
12 years ago

One time I applied for a job and I didn’t get it.

NWO MAKE IT BETTER FOR ME.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I’m beginning to wonder if Slavey has ever actually had a job. Certainly he does not appear to have any contact with an HR department, given his strange fantasies about ladies in silky underthings (how does he know? did he peek up their skirts?) sitting around enforcing imaginary quotas (with remarkably efficiency given how incompetent he thinks they are).

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

WARNING: Keep out of reach of turtles wearing helmets.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Sharculese — hammers generally have labels now because if you try to bang a bent nail in you’re altogether too likely to break it. Taking it in the shoulder is one thing, but taking it in the eye a completely different matter, so they usually tell you to wear goggles. Yeah it seems hilarious, until you’re watching half a nail go flying and yelling “heads!”.

Ah theatre…still better than the day this absolutely genius (/sarcasm) girl almost cut her thumb off, thank goodness for safety shut offs and alert people walking by (table saws should not be used with your thumb in the path of the blade) — NWO, is that safety switch pointless too? If tempted to claim all women are idiots, her other bit of genius was asking if my hair had grown, while I was using my knee as a horse for a jigsaw — our (female) stage manager was less than thrilled when she got all complainy that I was rude (I said, and I quote “yes, it does that”)

Dracula — but okay for use by turtles not wearing helmets? XD

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

They only start throwing them at you if they’ve got helmets.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Ooh…so best bet is to put the helmet on yourself then.

NWO — who installs the ladder chains and lags? Who makes and repairs the signage machines? Men right? So this all creates jobs for men as well? I mean, I’m just following your own logic to its natural end.

Oh and btw? signage, noun
signs collectively, esp street signs or signs giving directions

It’s just the plural of sign when sign means:
3. a. A displayed structure bearing lettering or symbols, used to identify or advertise a place of business: a motel with a flashing neon sign outside.
b. A posted notice bearing a designation, direction, or command: an EXIT sign above a door; a traffic sign.

versus:
7. A portentous incident or event; a presage: took the eclipse as a sign from God.
8. A body manifestation that serves to indicate the presence of malfunction or disease.
etc

Traffic signs wouldn’t really be wrong, but kind if implies you’re referring to a specific pile of signs, or a set of signs, when you just mean everything making up traffic signs it’s traffic signage. This has 0 to with feminism and 100% to do with English being damned weird sometimes. Or is it feminism’s fault their oxen not oxes, but boxes not boxen? (neither boxen nor oxes is breaking spellcheck, the fuck?)

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/boxen

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/oxes

Turns out they’re actual words. Who knew?

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

They are boxen.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

“Boxen” is also the German word for the sport of boxing, apparently.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Interesting, though it’d be nice if my spellcheck’s second language were Latin; oxes is Swedish it seems, and boxen questionably English but definitely German — I can’t read either of those. I’ll buy that boxen is the appropriate word for “resembling a box” though, I just can’t really believe that’s modern English (then again, it’s not flagging whither or anything, so maybe it isn’t as dumb as it seems).

Polliwog
12 years ago

Safety girl however, just loves her power and will casually fire any man who breaks the rules.

Luckily for us all, Nonsensical Man is here to defeat the evil archvillain Safety Girl with his incredible powers of…um…writing incoherent rants on people’s blogs?

Actually, I can almost see a decent comic book in that set-up. THRILL as Nonsensical Man tries to push a ladder onto Safety Girl, but finds that he can’t because it’s been properly secured to the wall! GASP as he defeats her sidekick, Signage Girl, by deliberately abusing so many apostrophes that she just can’t stand it anymore! BE PRETTY CONFUSED as he suddenly goes into a shrieking rage about how this is all the fault of Jewish communist feminist CIA agents who wear bikinis to the mall!

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

Big Daddy, it’s the new mammoth!

cloudiah
12 years ago

@Argenti, I love that cartoon.

Safety Girl is probably the one who made me put the “cones of shame” on my cats after getting them fixed, and now they are SO mad at me. They have spent at least an hour trying to back out of the cones by engaging reverse gear, and now that they’re resigned they cutely try to kiss each other and the cones lock so they can’t. I have missed many hilarious photo opportunities because I am afraid they will never forgive me if I document this period in their lives…

Right now they’re next to me with both their cones resting on my thigh. Looking up at me with crime in their eyes. Cuties.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

When Mr C’s cat had the cone she kept taking it off – he’d get home from work and it would be lying on the floor. I still wish he’d managed to get decent video of her when she was trying to groom the cone.

darksidecat
12 years ago

Safety in the workplace is MISANDRY!

Workplace deaths are also MISANDRY!

Heads I win, tails you lose.

gelar
gelar
12 years ago

I can’t come up with a place on the factory floor I worked on, where just leaving a ladder standing about would not end up being a safety hazard, or at least very much in the way.

Hershele Ostropoler
12 years ago

42 USC §2000e:

(a) Employer practices
It shall be an unlawful employment practice for an employer—
(1) to fail or refuse to hire or to discharge any individual, or otherwise to discriminate against any individual with respect to his compensation, terms, conditions, or privileges of employment, because of such individual’s race, color, religion, sex, or national origin; or
(2) to limit, segregate, or classify his employees or applicants for employment in any way which would deprive or tend to deprive any individual of employment opportunities or otherwise adversely affect his status as an employee, because of such individual’s race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.

So I’m pretty sure Slavey was not told he was denied a job for being male.

See how easy that was? I’m not just saying “the law says this, because laws say things like that, stands to reason”; I said which law I meant. Anyone an do it.

Masculist Man
12 years ago

Dave, perhaps I heard wrong about your job. What made you a feminist? You do know that feminists favor using gendercide on men. I believe the agent orange files answered that question.

How can you or any male for that matter associate with those that make the following statements or agree with them: http://mensrightsboard.blogspot.com/2010/02/feminist-quotes.html

http://mensrightsboard.blogspot.com/2011/10/feminist-quotes-2.html

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

gelar — it also makes it impossible to find a ladder when you need one, unless you’re already tripping over the thing. Wonder if NWO also keeps the best tools in his pockets instead of putting them away, because safety girl! (When really, I’ve known that type, they just don’t want anyone else touching the best tools)

Hershele — it’s a conspiracy, how is he ever supposed to provide proof of a conspiracy? XD

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Masculist Man

Well, I can’t speak for David Futrelle, I can say why I’M a feminist man.

It helped me overcome my rape. It gave me a mental framework to not be ashamed of being trans or gay or “not masculine enough.” It gave me enough mental traction to really get a hate-on for my abstinence-only education.

But don’t worry, I’m sure all the buddies I’ve made on this comm actually do want me dead. Ain’t that right, guys?

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

@LBT
Well obviously I want you dead, since as a self-hating mangina I want all men dead.
I mean, even though none of the regulars here or on any other feminist blogs I read have treated me or any other men that are not complete trolls poorly, clearly that’s just a cover.

katz
12 years ago

The Agent Orange files? Is it MRAs Who Are Just Catching Up On Months-Old News Month?

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

I thought that was every month.