Is there anything in the world that Paul Elam can’t blame on feminism? Apparently not.
In his latest post on A Voice for Men, Elam reports on a number of health problems he’s been dealing with – or not dealing with – for years. You see, despite chronic troubles with his gall bladder and with his breathing – which led to many ER visits over many years – Elam refused to get his gall bladder removed, or to give up smoking. For a while, he confesses, he was alternating puffs of cigarettes with hits from his Albuterol inhaler. But after numerous health scares, he reports, he’s finally dealing with his underlying issues, getting his gall bladder removed and weaning himself off the cigarettes.
I’m not going to mock him for any of this. Lots of people – especially men – have trouble pushing themselves to get the medical help they need. I’m one of them: the last time I went to the dentist it was because one of my teeth had gotten so rotten that a chunk of it broke off. There are a lot of mostly not-very good reasons I procrastinate about getting proper treatment for my health reasons, from simple denial to lack of funds. (Though, as I have sadly learned, waiting to go to the dentist until your teeth start breaking apart in your mouth does not actually save you money in the long run.)
Lots of guys won’t go to doctors because, as guys, they’ve been raised to believe they should grin and bear whatever pain they face. That’s one of the reasons feminists tend to criticize traditional notions of masculinity.
But for Elam, the problem is … feminism:
We live in a misandric culture, and often times, when we are scared enough or motivated by some other powerful force, we find that the root of the hatred is in the mirror staring back at us and mocking.
We men are raised with a sense of shame for having any needs. We are told, in fact, that we already have everything, and largely don’t deserve even the most basic of our needs for dignity, respect and love. If you look around in medical literature long enough, you will even see them shaming us for not going to the doctor more. Feminists have even used our tendency to neglect ourselves as a good reason to go full steam ahead with the unabashedly pro-female Obamacare.
This last charge is based on an almost completely delusional misreading of Obama’s health care legislation by our dear friend Antony Zarat. Elam continues:
And you can watch many men nod their heads in agreement with this crap. Sure, some of it is just the typical effects of feminist ideology on the brains of obsequious men, but there is something else at play here.
Can you guess what’s coming here? Yep, you got it, the motherfucking Titanic.
What made men willing to stand on the decks of sinking ships where their betters were loaded onto lifeboats? What makes men OK with being singled out for selective service? When is the last time you heard an average man point out to a woman who is whining that her great grandmother could not vote, that even today, unless a man signs an agreement with the government to use his body as cannon fodder, that he still won’t be allowed to vote?
Never mind that “women and children first” has never been official policy, nor even widely practiced. Never mind that feminists,while generally opposed to the draft, have lobbied for women as well as men to be subject to the same requirement to register for the draft. Never mind that the draft has been dead for decades. And never mind that exactly none of this is the fault of feminism.
We often have to point out to morons that being anti-feminist is not the same thing as being anti-woman. I think we would do well to remember from time to time that misandry is often not something done to us, but something we do to ourselves.
It is a monster that can live in any one of us, and often does. I have been doing battle with my own for a while. 25 years of consideration, soul searching and bucking the system and I am just now figuring out to go see a doctor when I have a problem.
Elam, dude: Despite your overweening narcissism, I have no trouble believing that on some level you hate yourself. Narcissism is often driven by insecurity, and no one who responds to even mild criticism with the level of rage that you do could be anything other than deeply insecure. But what you feel isn’t “misandry,” and feminists aren’t to blame. All that rage isn’t healthy for you. You should really get it checked out. And I’m not even joking.
Here’s Sleater-Kinney with “Call the Doctor,” though really only the title of the song is appropriate to the situation here.
Buster Keaton was having a routine medical checkup in the late 1930s and the doctor asked him when he broke his neck. Thinking back, Keaton realised it must have been some fifteen years earlier, when a stunt involving a water tower went wrong (he massively underestimated just how heavy it would be when poured on top of him in one go). He recalled having lots of headaches and feeling dizzy, but decided that it would soon pass – and such seemed to be the case.
But the doctor told him that it was a miracle he survived the 1920s, given the stunts that he carried on performing. Merely jerking his head suddenly – for instance, to avoid the front of the house hitting him in Steamboat Bill Jr – might well have been fatal.
But Keaton was also brought up not to make a fuss – in retrospect,his father’s treatment of him (he was raised as a knockabout vaudeville performer practically from birth) would be considered borderline child abuse today.
I have my fair share of stories of avoiding the doctor and especially refusing to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance, because I “didn’t need it.”
It’s one part being raised by parents who wouldn’t call the doctor unless we were in danger of dying and anything viewed as “minor” would get us yelled at if we complained about it. Another part is the fact that I have a long history of being completely dismissed by doctors when something is seriously wrong, without so much as an x ray or blood work done. There have been several instances where I’ve either had to go to a different doctor/ hospital to get properly diagnosed or keep complaining until I was taken seriously.
And I’m not talking about anything piddly. I’m talking about appendicitis, a softball sized ovarian cyst filled with blood… things like that. I think it took 6 or 7 visits to my primary care physician and a few ER visits before someone thought to do an ultrasound and found the ovarian cyst. It took two visits to the ER in order to find the cancerous lymph nodes that were likely irritating a tendon in my neck. When I went into the ER with appendicitis, I was given a laxative…
Eventually, it becomes obvious that it’s not worth the copay, unless I think that I’m in danger of dying or something hurts so badly that I can’t stand it anymore.
@ostara321 I def agree on women being shamed into not getting their sexual health taken care of. The fear of telling a stranger your “number” and your practices for fear of being judged (like so many people already do). The humiliation associated with getting STDs, and the fear of finding out you’re pregnant. And uhh, yeah, I’ve had a rough gyno before. She butchered me. I actually suffered a few days of deep depression from what might have been trauma after it. It terrified me to an extent that going back gives me a ton of anxiety.
I don’t know that I’ve ever had a truly good doctor.
“Oh Dr Collins, would you please check my shoulder? I worry I may have some kind of rash!”
“Now, Greta, what if your fellow nurse and my fiancée Joan walks in? What will she think, to see you half-undressed and in my arms?” While I may not truly love Joan, as I’m only marrying her to further my career, I should still treat her feelings with respect. At least until the wedding day…
“Oh, Frank. What are the chances of that happening, really?” But I know what the chances are! Earlier, I sent Joan a secret note, inviting her to come to this very place at this very time, for one of our illicit trysts! She has been so distracted lately that the fire of our forbidden love has gone dim. This should warm her blood again!
The note from Greta said to meet her here. I’m so glad that she left the note; I’ve been so busy setting up the secret house in the mountains for the two of us that I’ve had barely any time to spend with her. But once it’s all prepared and we run away, we’ll have all the time in the world together! No meddling parents or tiresome fiancés! She’ll be so pleased when I finally–
–Oh god, what’s this? My fiancé and my secret lover? What can it mean??
What can it mean, indeed! Will Greta and Joan finally run away together to share their lover’s hideaway? Or will Frank and Joan go through with the wedding neither of them truly wants? Will Martina finally choose between Mickey and Carlos? And what about the Bengal tiger? Tune in next week, for another episode of Tales of Man Boobz!!
I reckon Greta and Joan will be raising a child with Frank’s stolen sperm, and will then hit him for everything he’s worth.
@katz
How scandalous! Such writings are most inappropriate! Now I shall be forced to peruse all subsequent episodes to… um… to better inform other people why they shouldn’t read such filth, yes that’s it. For no other reason whatsoever, harumph!
Ha, apparently that’s the second time in two days I’ve said something very katz-like. I promise this isn’t some sort of Leighton Meester life-stealing movie kind of deal.
Anyway, Myoo, tune in next week! Same Boobz time, same Boobz station! (Not really though XD)
I also tend to immediately dismiss anything physically wrong with me as “psychosomatic”, since I have a mental illness (I’ve never been “labelled” by a psychiatrist, but told that I have a mix of symptoms, some schizophrenia-like symptoms plus occasional abnormal mood swings). Apparently it’s quite common that people who have a mental illness aren’t taken seriously when they do search medical aid for some physical problem, but in my case it’s been the other way around. I just dismiss things, and then my psychiatrist make me go see a regular doctor about it.
This has happened twice, and both times it turned out after some investigation that the problems WERE psychosomatic after all. But it’s actually stupid to just assume that this is the case. (First time was about ten years ago when I’d wake up at night with a racing heart, high body tempareture and sweating like mad – the next time was quite recently, I suffered from nausea for weeks and kept vomiting up everything I ate.)
@viscaria
oops, I could have sworn that was katz, sorry about that.
Loosely related: Paul Elam appears to have shown up in the comment section on FSTDT on some of the more recent posts of radfem quotes.
Speaking of the Titanic (no seriously, it was mentioned in the original post!), users (including the YesMen) are having fun with Shell’s web page allowing users to create their own posters in support of arctic drilling. Here are someTitanic-themed ones:
http://arcticready.com/social/279140-never-again
http://arcticready.com/social/7586040-this-is-what-happens-when-you-let-market
http://arcticready.com/social/7538695-getting-rid-of-those-bastard-ice-caps
http://arcticready.com/social/8046510-all-aboard-the-fail-boat
http://arcticready.com/social/9615182-pay-no-attention-to-the-obvious-metaphor
FSTDT? I’m hoping it lampoons radfem…
Ideologuereview: Yeah, it does, when it’s submitted, but given the current resurgence in virulent misogyny, I’m a little creeped out that it’s just showing up now. But yeah, FSTDT will slice and dice any fundamentalist, not just Christian and Islamic.
So, i’m betting the big end-of-season reveal for “Tales of Man Boobz” is that Viscaria and katz are the same person. Calling it now.
Resurgence? So you’re convinced that hatred for women, as a sex, is at a high right now? I mean, homicide rates against women are at an all-time low and men are still far more likely to be singled out by murderers. In fact, crime rates in general are down, which would imply the tangible evidence of hate is also down.
Of course, it seems like hate of some sort or another is in a perpetual state of eruption. Which raises the question of how a resurgence of something is even possible.
ideologuereview — let’s try a reductio ad absurdum on what you just said shall we?
“given the current resurgence in rectangles”
“Resurgence? So you’re convinced that rectangles are at a high right now? I mean, squares are at an all-time low and rhomboids are still far more likely to be singled out. In fact, quadrilateral rates in general are down, which would imply the tangible evidence parallelograms are also down.
Of course, it seems like parallelograms of some sort or another are in a perpetual state of eruption. Which raises the question of how a resurgence of something is even possible.”
My apologies for saying all parallelograms are quadrilaterals, wait, I mean for saying all hate is crime…and to geometry and other math majors.
Okay, I’m also sorry that I refused to acknowledge that hurtful writing on the Internet is on par with being physically assaulted. In fact, we really should pull all the police officers off the streets and onto computers where they can monitor these little Holocausts and euthanize the perpetrators.
Ah, I see someone doesn’t understand geometry…they’re degrees of the same thing, all parallelograms actually are quadrilaterals, and all squares are rectangles (but not the inverse, which should be kind of obvious).
Also, you just Godwin’ed.
IR… if something is at a lower rate, and it increases to a previously higher rate, that’s a resurgence. Your entire rant was a confused failure to understand that point… coupled to your irrational hatred of feminists.
Actually, “Call the Doctor” probably reads as Paul Elam’s worst nightmare. It’ll do him good. Exposure therapy ‘n’ all that.
Viscaria, I’d challenge you to a cage match if I didn’t suspect that that’s what IR/FF wants.
Considering his writings, I think Paul Elam’s problem with the Doctor is much less likely to be caused by feminism than by the fact that he’s a Dalek.
Exterminate! Exterminate!
In this corner: large animal statue!
In this corner: a bunch of… flowers… with notoriously sticky stems. And tenacity!
You sure lucked out on this one 😉
And what’s the solution to Daleks? River Song.
Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor’s.
River: I’m River Song. Check your records again.
Dalek: Mercy.
River: Say it again.
Dalek: Mercy!
River: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!!!
I scrawled that on a white board on the fridge while drunk, it’s still there almost a year later XD But maybe his problem is sort of feminism? He’s afraid of a woman and that’s just terrible?
Viscaria — only if katz’s statue is a weeping angel, otherwise ze can’t move while you can slow grow your way over the statue (if ze is a weeping angel, we’re all screwed)
At least flowers vs a statue is vaguely viable as a battle scenario, rather than a battle of default avatars (obscure random coloured shape A vs obscure random coloured shape B! Sounds like something that would need an epilepsy warning).