Is there anything in the world that Paul Elam can’t blame on feminism? Apparently not.
In his latest post on A Voice for Men, Elam reports on a number of health problems he’s been dealing with – or not dealing with – for years. You see, despite chronic troubles with his gall bladder and with his breathing – which led to many ER visits over many years – Elam refused to get his gall bladder removed, or to give up smoking. For a while, he confesses, he was alternating puffs of cigarettes with hits from his Albuterol inhaler. But after numerous health scares, he reports, he’s finally dealing with his underlying issues, getting his gall bladder removed and weaning himself off the cigarettes.
I’m not going to mock him for any of this. Lots of people – especially men – have trouble pushing themselves to get the medical help they need. I’m one of them: the last time I went to the dentist it was because one of my teeth had gotten so rotten that a chunk of it broke off. There are a lot of mostly not-very good reasons I procrastinate about getting proper treatment for my health reasons, from simple denial to lack of funds. (Though, as I have sadly learned, waiting to go to the dentist until your teeth start breaking apart in your mouth does not actually save you money in the long run.)
Lots of guys won’t go to doctors because, as guys, they’ve been raised to believe they should grin and bear whatever pain they face. That’s one of the reasons feminists tend to criticize traditional notions of masculinity.
But for Elam, the problem is … feminism:
We live in a misandric culture, and often times, when we are scared enough or motivated by some other powerful force, we find that the root of the hatred is in the mirror staring back at us and mocking.
We men are raised with a sense of shame for having any needs. We are told, in fact, that we already have everything, and largely don’t deserve even the most basic of our needs for dignity, respect and love. If you look around in medical literature long enough, you will even see them shaming us for not going to the doctor more. Feminists have even used our tendency to neglect ourselves as a good reason to go full steam ahead with the unabashedly pro-female Obamacare.
This last charge is based on an almost completely delusional misreading of Obama’s health care legislation by our dear friend Antony Zarat. Elam continues:
And you can watch many men nod their heads in agreement with this crap. Sure, some of it is just the typical effects of feminist ideology on the brains of obsequious men, but there is something else at play here.
Can you guess what’s coming here? Yep, you got it, the motherfucking Titanic.
What made men willing to stand on the decks of sinking ships where their betters were loaded onto lifeboats? What makes men OK with being singled out for selective service? When is the last time you heard an average man point out to a woman who is whining that her great grandmother could not vote, that even today, unless a man signs an agreement with the government to use his body as cannon fodder, that he still won’t be allowed to vote?
Never mind that “women and children first” has never been official policy, nor even widely practiced. Never mind that feminists,while generally opposed to the draft, have lobbied for women as well as men to be subject to the same requirement to register for the draft. Never mind that the draft has been dead for decades. And never mind that exactly none of this is the fault of feminism.
We often have to point out to morons that being anti-feminist is not the same thing as being anti-woman. I think we would do well to remember from time to time that misandry is often not something done to us, but something we do to ourselves.
It is a monster that can live in any one of us, and often does. I have been doing battle with my own for a while. 25 years of consideration, soul searching and bucking the system and I am just now figuring out to go see a doctor when I have a problem.
Elam, dude: Despite your overweening narcissism, I have no trouble believing that on some level you hate yourself. Narcissism is often driven by insecurity, and no one who responds to even mild criticism with the level of rage that you do could be anything other than deeply insecure. But what you feel isn’t “misandry,” and feminists aren’t to blame. All that rage isn’t healthy for you. You should really get it checked out. And I’m not even joking.
Here’s Sleater-Kinney with “Call the Doctor,” though really only the title of the song is appropriate to the situation here.
@ Quackers
Yeah, I think of hospitals as places that tend to harbor all kinds of nasty bacteria, viruses, etc, ie great places to catch something unpleasant. I know that the people who run them make every effort to keep them as clean as possible, but it’s the nature of hospitals to be full of people who are ill, so there’s a limit to what can be done. Hospitals are uncomfortable places for germphobes to be.
I kinda missed the important ending part of my story, which is where boyfriend said “you’re right, being a man does not depend on me abusing myself,” and then he confessed that he was scared, and we tried to work through that together, and he got help in an authentic, self-directed way. Yay, feminism.
The “logic” is so warped here that I have the sense that MRAs start with a sense of victimization and hatred of women, then argue backwards from that. That is, everybody picks on me and women are all evil bitches, therefore this bad thing in my life must be the fault of women. It reminds me of the Tea Partiers I’ve known; they have this vague sense that everybody else has it easy and that they’ve gotten screwed out of something that should have been theirs. They’re sort of permanently aggrieved that way.
Anyway, just started reading the blog and I’m fascinated by all this stuff.
Heh. I fell off a ladder back in September and my first thought as I’m lying on the ground with a dislocated shoulder and blood dripping out of my face was, “I don’t think I need an ambulance.”
It was a learning experience.
@Cassandra
Not only that but they’re very sad places to be. Lots of sickness, loneliness and death. I don’t blame people for not wanting to go but at the same time sometimes it’s needed because they save lives too.
I’m not surprised that these jackasses blame feminists for the societal idea that men should never need or desire help. They also think that all women not immediately lining up to fuck them at all times of day is somehow oppressing them. Logic and male supremacists cannot mix.
If feminists want things to be good for women, anything good for women can be laid at the feet of feminists.
The equivocation is in the phrase “good for women.” Feminists think a draft system that doesn’t discriminate is good for women, he thinks one that does is. He thinks the requirement that men be tough is good for women, feminists do not. Things like that.
@2-D Man
shit…you went right? hope everything was ok?
I’ve actually done that “oh, OK, so my leg is gushing blood but I’m sure it will be fine, I’ll just put a bandage on it” thing. Which is proof of the socialization theory (British boarding schools are not environments that encourage student to admit physical weakness or ask for help, and they value toughness).
Urgh. Had to stay out of work today due to health–but it’s mental, and I STILL feel like if I just tried hard enough, I would be able to get in. Even though I spent all last night and this morning pretty much trying to stay as calm as possible.
Unfortunately, that’s nothing a doctor can fix, and getting pro mental help is… really not working.
…though yeah, I did the same thing the time I collapsed in the bathroom. (Of course, I had no car, and was kinda on my own, so no way to get to the hospital ANYWAY; I was too weak to stand. I was so bent that I had to call a friend because I couldn’t tell if I needed a doctor or not and figured maybe someone sane could tell me.)
Oh god, I’m such a baby when it comes to pain. Which for someone with recurring/chronic pain is a little pathetic lol.
Oh hai NWO! Glad you could come by to tell us what we’re all apparently secretly thinking. And to remind us that we should hate animals, to… make up for something? I guess? Much like the solution to violence inflicted on men is women punching each other, I guess the solution to women not catering to men exactly the way NWO wants is hurting animals. It’s not about making things better, it’s about making them shitty for everyone. Yay!
Hey NWO, quick question: do you think men should have better access to healthcare? And for those men who already have decent access, do you think they should take advantage of it more?
Men are raised with a sense of shame for having needs? BULLSHIT!!! I never have, or know of anyone who has ever looked down on a man for seeing a doctor. In fact, I encourage Elam to get his head examined.
why?
That depends how you calculate “money spent on men.”
If you only want to count money given to men’s causes that exclude all women, then, yeah, not much goes that way.
If you count 50% of the money going to causes that include both men and women… suddenly you’re in the billions. But that doesn’t count, right?
I want to imagine him having to see a doctor who is a woman.
Then I remember how many female doctors are sexually harassed by male patients, and I don’t want to imagine that happening.
I bollixed the link.
Sigh.
women doctors sexually harassed by male patients:
https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1ARAB_enUS452US452&sugexp=chrome,mod=18&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=female+doctors+sexually+harassed+by+male+patients
What exactly is Slavey’s issue with women who like pets? It seems to be a consistent thing, his being jealous of the fact that many women love their dogs/cats/goldfish/etc.
After reading the article in it’s entirety, it doesn’t sound like Elam has a problem going to the doctor, as he mentions going to get an Albuterol inhaler, as well as a dozen trips to the ER for his gall bladder. It’s obviously not shame for having needs or not being Mr. Perfect Macho Toughguy who doesn’t need no stinking healthcare…
He didn’t want to change. He didn’t want to quit smoking, change his diet or his exercise habits and expected that he should be able to shove a bunch of crap and toxins into his system, with no negative repercussions. Much like how he behaves with his MRA rhetoric…
Slavey has a problem with women existing. Don`t think too hard about it.
NWO: yep, I spent a shitload of money (and when I recall we used to have 13 cats instead of four in years past, ten shitloads have been spent) on cats. And dogs.
And none on men.
Well, except the donations to DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS.
And I guess paying TEH MENZ to come do the electrical work, the plumbing, all the flood clearing (OK my insurance company which I paid by crying in the street paid for a lot of that), the flooring installation, the garbage, and stuff like that are men.
But that doesn’t count!
Cats — so much cuddlier, even if a bit more fishy breath.
I certainly like my cats and care more about them than I do NWO, that’s for sure.
But would I rejoice if he or Elam “kicked the bucket” tonight? No, because I’m not a complete asshole who wishes death on people, even if those people would beat me in the street.
Yeah. Not before doing the ridiculously stupid thing of trying to roll over and see if I could stand up. I couldn’t and told my coworkers to call an ambulance. One of my last physiotherapy appointments is tomorrow actually. And I actually had a positive experience with the Workers’ Compensation Board, which I’ve been told is unusual.
All in all, I’m happy.
Oh shut the fuck up you twit. Do you give a crap about women’s shelters? NOPE. You’d rather women beat each other up for the supposed blood men only spilled for women in your delusional, fucked up little head.
No one is laughing about Elam or wishes him ill will. He should have gotten medical help earlier and it’s good that he did now and is taking steps to improve his health. We’re pissed because regardless you MRA idiots blame us for everything, even the things both of us are fighting against like restrictive gender roles.
Oh but hey, I have seen MRAs laughing about the death of prominent feminists. Both times they laughed at Dworkin’s death, and another recent feminist writer’s death was covered on the Spearhead where your buddies were just delighted. So fuck off and stop projecting.
Ilithiana – But Doctors Without Borders serves women too! Therefore, no matter how many men it helps, it doesn’t count.
NWO (and, sometimes less explicitly, most MRAs) have absolutely no interest in things that might help both men and women. Never mind that Doctors Without Borders gives thousands of men access to medical care; if it doesn’t toss sick women out on the street, it’s just another tool of the Matriarchy.