So the other day some of the fellas on the Men’s Rights subreddit were having a strange little conversation. One Men’s Rights Redditor posted a clip from Bill Burr, in which the comedian complained that when his girlfriend hit him, he couldn’t hit her back without getting himself into a lot of trouble.
Instead of pointing his fellows to, I don’t know, resources for male victims of domestic abuse, the OP joked “This Is Why I Wish That I Was Sexually Attracted to Men.”
Yep, that’s right. He wants to date other men so, if the need arises, he can punch them.
Naturally, this being Reddit, other straight dudes jumped in with their own fantasies about how much easier life would be if they were gay. After all, jacKofKats pointed out, dating a guy would mean you could play video games with the very same person you have sex with, something obviously impossible in heterosexual relationships.
Oneiorosgrip agreed with the original poster that life would be much simpler and easier if guys could hit their mates:
Dolanduckeroo expressed envy towards his gay friends, who apparently lead lives of ease and endless zipless fucks, all the while being appreciated for who they truly are.
A few actual gay men wandered into the discussion, hoping to inject a bit of realism, pointing out (among other things) that gay men actually face something called “homophobia” — look it up if you haven’t heard of it — pretty much every day of their lives. Naturally, they got fewer upvotes than the “wish I were gay” fantasizers.
Here we go again, part deux:
freebird June 10, 2012 at 02:56
Still waters run deep,and most men are not talking.
We’re in the eye of the storm.
You think the inner city gangs are bad?
Wait til the white man gets his ‘freak’ on.
Like or Dislike: 2 2
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/06/09/daylighting-manosphere-ideas/
NWO: A religion built on a foundation of hatred.
This from soemone who’s personal religion tells him to, “beat them bitches up”.
scarlettpipistrelle: Ah yes, the ever popular silent majority. The lurkers support them in email.
These guys act as if men are so easy going that they all get along just fine. Sure, (sarcasm alert) they never get jealous, petty, or vengeful. If these guys would take a serious look at their gender, they’d realize they aren’t superior.
“We live in the modern western world where VAWA is the legal statute, and police are trained in predominant aggressor theory. Men are guilty by default. Where do you live?”
Well, where I come from, I got a black eye from a guy because I wouldn’t let him steal my hat. I went to the police but nothing was done about it. I had five witnesses with me. Oh and I was crying. So much for your “guilty by default” theory. Unless I was doing something wrong…
Ah, but since NWO isn’t here, let me channel what he would say to Joanna: “We have only your word for that!” The only way to satisfy him would be to produce the police report, identify yourself – then they’d probably slap your name and face on false accuser web site they’ve set up. There’s no talking to them, really.
They’re going to be so bummed out when they learn that there are resources for LGBTQ folks in abusive relationships as well, assaulting a partner of your own gender is still a crime, and that gay, straight or bi, the only people who are really down with abusers tend to be…other abusers.
Misogynistic abusers aren’t good for or desirable for queer communites (or even just those that are cis gay male communities) either. Cis heteros can keep their own trash, queers don’t need it.
How the hell can they get mad about being labeled a hate group when they say things like that?
Jessay: That’s not hate, it’s them warning us about what will happen when the oppressed class rises up to throw off its shackles.
Has “get your freak on” suddenly stopped meaning sex?
They also know nothing about storms — “We’re in the eye of the storm.” — goodie! You’re the part that’s all calm and not violent? Cool, about time! (think you meant the eyewall there guys, but harder to write shitty “poetry” with that I guess)
It’d be interesting if they meant they’re eerily calm though.
“Has “get your freak on” suddenly stopped meaning sex?”
Considering how deeply they identify sex with violence, there HAS to be some deep confusion in there.
Argentii: I think the mean eye. There was, so they see it, a storm of femisism, and it’s sort of passed, this is the calm, before the men who have been harmed, and shamed, and oppressed by the effects of feminism take to the street, to “reclaim” their rights; from which they were so cruelly displaced by the weak-willies who gave into the emotional appeals feminism made on them.
Yeah, Dvarg, no. I don’t WANT misogynist assholes in my part of the goddamn rainbow, thanks. Do you seriously think it doesn’t leak out all over the place? I see enough gay transphobia and dickery towards femme guys and other assorted bullshit, thanks. (Plus, then the bi guys have to deal with them.)
Also, I can’t play video games with my husband, because he doesn’t LIKE them. I play them with my younger sibling. (Crash Bandicoot forever, yeaaaaah!) Also lulz at the idea that all gay men are having relationshipless sex constantly. Seriously, dude, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? You realize that your dating pool is automatically slashed through pure demographics, right? THERE AREN’T THAT MANY QUEERS AROUND.
Pecunium — to carry on the metaphor:
“There was, so they see it, a storm of femisism, and it’s sort of passed, this is the calm, before the men who have been harmed, and shamed, and oppressed by the effects of feminism take to the street, to “reclaim” their rights; from which they were so cruelly displaced by the weak-willies who gave into the emotional appeals feminism made on them.”
And then the other eyewall will smack them into oblivion since they came out from their storm cellars…(I had to, it’s too perfect)
Oh come on. They haven’t seen the episode of Family Guy where Stewie wonders just this, why men can’t just be together like they are with women?
What in the holy fuck is wrong with you?
LBT, I didn’t see your comment until now. No, obviously nobody wants to hang out with these douchebags. I’m not saying LBT people (and that involves me, btw, since I’m bi) should embrace douchebags. I’m just saying that for THEM, yeah, life might actually be a bit easier if they had been gay, because then they wouldn’t have to hate and be aroused by the same individuals any longer.
But even if it were possible to turn them gay and even if it would be nice for THEM I don’t think we should do it. *Having a mental image of a bunch of misogynists waving crazy pamflets about the feminazi conspiracy in a Pride parade*
To be fair, I have heard from some people who moved in both hetero and queer culture that some of the most annoying and loneliness-inducing elements of the Cult Of Shitty Relationships are not present in at least some common forms of the queer dating scene. Doesn’t mean there are also a freaking large number of problems!!!!!
Hey dude, jacKofKats here…
Hope you’re well. I’m enjoying my five seconds of fame on your blog, top work Manb00bz.. You’re one of my favourites along with GWW and JTO 🙂
Just wanted to point out that my comment was about the fact that if you’re gay you can usually fuck around with out the mind games. This is what my many gay friends tell me anyway, including one who arranged for ten guys to… Well, I’ll leave that to your imagination, but I can’t see myself getting a straight experience on those lines, not unless I’m prepared to get out Robert Redford sums of money.
I guess the grass is always greener however, as many of these friends will also admit that they often suffer from a lack of long term commitment within gay relationships. So horses for courses….
I do not advocate any kind of violence and am a little disappointed that you’ve used my comments in this way.
Finally at no point do I say that women and men in a heterosexual relationship cannot enjoy video games together. This is a straw man dude and you know it.
Other than this, thanks for making some valid points, and for reminding me that at no strata of the social order are people completely free from violence and that the men’s rights movement should be about bringing attention and validity to the marginalised cases.
All the best
jacKofKats
They do realize that gay men can be cruel, abusive or shallow as the women they hate?
The discussion is undoubtedly silly, but to characterize them as abusers for it is disingenuous. There are close to no recourse for victimised men, in fact they often end up accused of abuse themselves. This is a real power imbalance. Fortunately, the vast majority of women would never abuse this power, just like most men would not abuse their physical advantage. But for victims of male abusers, there is ample if not infalluble recourse. For male victims of female abusers, there is scorn and real legal danger. This has to do with gender roles more than with feminism, but the failure of the one major gender equality movement to address this issue, and repeated attempt to silence advocates, confers some of the responsibility on the movement. A responsibility that I as a feminist take seriously.
Unfortunately, MRA’s are mocking Feminism.
They think feminists and women who are lesbians, CHOOSE to be lesbians. Men and MRA’s cannot imagine a life without dick. They think all lesbians are man-haters who either hate or are afraid of dicks.
They think feminism is a hate group because of what other feminists say and do to men so guess what the Men’s Rights Activists do? They attack women, write articles on how women, especially leabians and feminists, should be punished for doing the”same” thing men do. They laugh at women who get hurt, because feminists laugh at men. They blame women the same way feminists blame men.
MRA’s are giving feminism what they think feminists give men. I think feminists should realize this and ignore all the MRA trolls. If they think feminists hate men then they are going to mock feminism by hating women.
I’m having a hard time following your logic, roxane, so I’m going to try to paraphrase it here and see if I can get the nuances right:
MRA’s think being a lesbian is a choice, and that secretly all gay women want to have sex with men but are too scared of/hate penises. And they hate feminists because feminists are mean to men. So MRA’s write attack articles about how lesbians and feminists should be punished, because they are merely reacting about how mean feminists are to men. And that feminists blame men for their problems, so therefore MRA’s are going to blame women for theirs. Therefore, if feminists would just stop paying attention to the mens’ rights trolls, the MRA’s would stop writing angry things about women on the internet.
Is that your argument?
*Scrolls up, looks at the blog’s subheading: The New Misogyny, Tracked and Mocked.
I think you might be in the wrong place for “you catch more flies with honey” and “don’t feed the trolls” arguments. We don’t do that around here, especially when the topic we’re debating is “are women people, or a toxic subspecies to be exploited for the greater good?” And I can’t even fathom how feminists ignoring MRA’s relates to MRA’s opinions about why lesbians don’t want sex with men.
Good luck to you, though!
Uggggh what is it with threads being necroed lately…