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The Punch and Punch Show: Men’s Rights Redditors fantasize about how much easier life would be if they were gay

God made Punch and Judy, Not Punch and Punch

So the other day some of the fellas on the Men’s Rights subreddit were having a strange little conversation. One  Men’s Rights Redditor posted a clip from Bill Burr, in which the comedian complained that when his girlfriend hit him, he couldn’t hit her back without getting himself into a lot of trouble.

Instead of pointing his fellows to, I don’t know, resources for male victims of domestic abuse, the OP joked “This Is Why I Wish That I Was Sexually Attracted to Men.”

Yep, that’s right. He wants to date other men so, if the need arises, he can punch them.

Naturally, this being Reddit, other straight dudes jumped in with their own fantasies about how much easier life would be if they were gay. After all, jacKofKats pointed out, dating a guy would mean you could play video games with the very same person you have sex with, something obviously impossible in heterosexual relationships.

Oneiorosgrip agreed with the original poster that life would be much simpler and easier if guys could hit their mates:

Dolanduckeroo expressed envy towards his gay friends, who apparently lead lives of ease and endless zipless fucks, all the while being appreciated for who they truly are.

A few actual gay men wandered into the discussion, hoping to inject a bit of realism, pointing out (among other things) that gay men actually face something called “homophobia” — look it up if you haven’t heard of it — pretty much every day of their lives. Naturally, they got fewer upvotes than the “wish I were gay” fantasizers.

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Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

Polliwog — ftr, he made a habit of it, the first time I didn’t care much. I probably should’ve included a “without mutual agreement” note all the same.

Hehe, it’s cool, I just had to be a smartass. 😉

(Also, I have to focus on the colossal stupidity of “only dudes have ever played pool or video games” because it breaks my brain slightly less than the even-more-colossal stupidity of “it’s so much easier to be gay than straight in our society.” Sometimes I wonder if MRAs are secretly all some form of chatbot with no knowledge of actual humans.)

Rutee Katreya
12 years ago

What was that? Sorry, I was in the middle of planning signing marriage papers with my girlfriend, in Denmark, because we can’t *really* get married in the USA and if she moves here we will never have a proper, real marriage respected across the country.

Rutee Katreya
12 years ago

“play video games with the very same person you have sex with, something obviously impossible in heterosexual relationships.”
lol women don’t play games, pay no attention tot he woman behind the curtain.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

Interesting. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Simply because most women seem to like me for who I am unlike men who think you’re worthless if you aren’t petite, slim, under 25 and subservient to them.

Oh sorry, I confused men with MRA shitbags. All the men I know seem to like me for who I am. Maybe if women dont like MRAs for who they are its because they’re…I dunno…shitbags who don’t even like women for who THEY are? Its crazy how people dont exactly care for those who hate them isnt it?

darksidecat
darksidecat
12 years ago

Queer abuse victims are often far, far more reluctant to seek help for abuse, because of the risk that they will encounter homophobia and the worry that people will use it as an excuse to demonize all queer relationships. Not to mention that gay men are abused and raped at higher rates than hetero men (but not higher rates than hetero women). Far too often, queer men face this horrific victim blaming homophobic argument implied by the notion that it’s okay to hit other men, that the victim should have fought back harder or more or in a different way or they must have wanted it/been asking for it. I’ve personally known of a gay man who was raped as part of a homophobic attack against him by hetero men, and the cops responded by suggesting he must have wanted it.

Yes, there’s general asshole heterosexist fuckwad erasing of homophobia (as well as sexist stereotyping) going on there, but I wanted to point out the homophobic abuse apologism implied as well.

C
C
12 years ago

Is it me, or are these guys finally coming out?

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

Is it me, or are these guys finally coming out?

Naww. They’re just a bunch of idiots that think that the grass in the gay community’s field comes from a different planet, so obviously it’s greener

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
12 years ago

SRS is totally spot on about the average Redditor. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with those guys?

Nova
Nova
12 years ago

I think these shitbags are under the impression that every man is just like they are. They enjoy video games and shooting pool, so every other man must also enjoy it. They’ve met a woman who they thought was a fat, harping shrew, so therefore all women must be like that. A relationship with a man would be just like hanging out with themselves, because all men are exactly the same.

What blatant misandry they’re spreading! There has to be some kind of a movement to deal with this stereotyping, man hating bullshit…

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Nova, are you suggesting some kind of Men’s Blights movement?

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago
long time lurker
long time lurker
12 years ago

Oh sure, when I suggested some of them might be gay they got all mad at me.

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

BigMomma — that reads like the male penguins are sluts, not the female penguins, so Tom Martin was not wrong, but not right either. Given how little they say idk if the sexual abuse is by female penguins, but “homosexual acts… and attempts by male penguins to mate with dead females.” are male penguins by depraved. And it still feels wrong to call a bird’s sex life depraved >.<

I do kind of with they'd provided the original text, but I guess they're probably still translating it.

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

with? that should be wish >.<

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

@argenti…i know, i got all excited by the title and posted it. then read it…shoulda really done it the other way around.

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

the title just made me laugh in context of penguin whores

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

BigMomma — ehh, reading before you post isn’t exactly a hallmark of MRAs, so let’s just pretend that was irony?

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

i’ll go with that

nwoslave
12 years ago

@ragefromthebasement
“The straight white Christian cis man is the the most discriminated against. Ha! This just shows they have no idea what discrimination feels like.”

Would the accepted/promoted demeaning of a segment of the population by not only the media, but the education system and politicans be considered discrimination? If so the answer is clear.

Has everyone of you here reveled in joy at the debasement of said segment? Has everyone here used the term white man, straight white men or straight white Christian cis man in some fashion in a negative way. Since all of you have, you’re all vile hateful people who are part of a vile, hate ideology. A religion built on a foundation of hatred.

footnotegirl
footnotegirl
12 years ago

I have a solution for them other than being gay!
Sure, you can’t hit a woman even if she hits you, how about..
Don’t date women who hit you.
Why would you date someone who hits you? If she hits you, LEAVE HER.
They act like all women hit their SO’s.
I have never hit my husband.
I have never hit any man (or woman) I’ve ever been in a relationship with.
What kind of world do they live in where physical violence is some unquestioned aspect of being in a relationship?
Also, if you want to have sex with the same person who you play video games with?
Date a girl who plays video games.
This is not rocket science.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

Oh yes, let’s cite woman-hating comedian Bill Burr as a legitimate source. That’s almost as bad as that one MRA who quoted Ton Leykis.

nwoslave
12 years ago

“@footnotegirl
“Sure, you can’t hit a woman even if she hits you,”

You most definitely can hit her back, it’s the only justice a man will get.
———-
“Don’t date women who hit you.”

How could a man possibly know”
———
“Why would you date someone who hits you? If she hits you, LEAVE HER.”

Again how could a man know? If she hits you hit her back.
———-
“They act like all women hit their SO’s.”

No, but many do. You stick uo for them and relieve them of all acoountability. (see; you can’t hit a woman even if she hits you).
———-
“I have never hit my husband.”

We have only you word as proof.
———-
“I have never hit any man (or woman) I’ve ever been in a relationship with.”

Again, your word is the only evidence.
———–
“What kind of world do they live in where physical violence is some unquestioned aspect of being in a relationship?”

We live in the modern western world where VAWA is the legal statute, and police are trained in predominant aggressor theory. Men are guilty by default. Where do you live?

darksidecat
darksidecat
12 years ago

@footnotegirl, it’s not so easy for an abuse victim to just leave the person who hits them. While, de facto, men make up the majority of abusers, and gay men don’t magically abuse less (or magically abuse more) than hetero men, the actual cases of female abuser with male victim are still abuse and still deserve to not result in the victim being blamed for not leaving. Not that this is what the MRAs in the OP were saying even remotely though.

Nova
Nova
12 years ago

Tugley: I’m suggesting more feminism. The MRM pigeonholes men worse than any anti male movement ever has.

the twisted spinster
the twisted spinster
12 years ago

You know what’s sad? These guys sound like every closeted gay I used to know — and I knew a few. Back in the Eighties. This is 2012, people, yet they’re still there, pretending it’s women’s fault that they don’t want them and being totally obnoxious in order to stave off the horrifying possibility that they will be discovered for who they really are…

Anyway, most of the guys I knew eventually came out, because there was Boy George and Morrissey and so on and so forth. And you know what? From being annoying morons they went to being pretty nice people. So instead of mocking, I totally applaud the first tentative steps of these new closet cases to consider how much better they’d feel if they just let themselves be themselves. I think they need encouragement and support in their endeavors! (And I am not entirely non-serious about that. I really did know gay guys whose personalities improved a great deal once they quit pretending they weren’t gay.)