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Reddit Island: Redditors plan to set up their own island utopia. They are so excited. It’s adorable! [UPDATED w/ SRS LINK]

From ShitRedditSays

Sorry to interrupt the regular proceedings here with an off-topic post, but I have just discovered the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen: A bunch of Redditors are talking about getting their own motherfucking  island! Reddit Island! Where they will live, and farm algae, and give each other massages, and all the other things you do on an island of your own.

Naturally, the discussion is extremely Reddit-tastic. Here, after one Redditor says he may have found them a perfect island, PlutoISaPlanet asks the obvious question:

girls? are there girls there?

You need to read the entire discussion that follows, which will also help to explain why they may have trouble getting girls to sign up.

Bludstone, meanwhile, raises some practical questions:

As there is -still- no reddit island business plan, there is no real reason to be looking for physical islands yet. We need a comprehensive mathematical analysis on how to make a profitable (or at least sustainable) island living.

And ive said that since day 1.

Later in the discussion – which you also need to read in its entirety — he accuses his fellow Reddit Island enthusiasts of being a bunch of unserious dabblers in the fine art of island-utopia-making:

You need a comprehensive plan, contracts vetted by lawyers on both sides, etc.

Honestly this whole project has screamed AMATEURS from the start. Its a real shame since its a cool as hell idea.

One enthusiastic newbie has some questions, including:

Property buying and selling, rights, early adopters, etc’, what’s the current consensus on that? If I “donate”/”pledge” $100 right now, will it assure anything for when the time comes? Will I get a small place where I can build my hut? or will I get a 2 bedroom apartment in a 50 stories high sky scraper?

In still another thread, Reddit Islanders reject one island in Florida – on sale for $42,000 —  as too small, though one suggests they could build a tall tower on it to accommodate more Redditors.

Another frugal Redditor suggests they could start out by building houses out of old shipping pallets!

But if you’re going to need a shipping container just to get the pallets out there, another asks, why not just live in the shipping container?

People, I cannot tell you how enthusiastic I am about the prospect of a bunch of Redditors moving to some tiny island in the middle of nowhere to live in a shipping container.

EDITED TO ADD: ArchangelleDworkin of SRS is on the case, and it turns out this post isn’t quite as off-topic as I thought. In fact, it’s totally on-topic, as she shows with this collection of horrible shit the Reddit Islanders have been saying about women (while lamenting the fact that their never-going-to-happen island project would be a total sausage fest).

If you follow her links you’ll discover even more poop that she didn’t even bother to link to. On Reddit, there is literally too much poop for ordinary humans to catalog.

Also, I  totally stole her Reddit island graphic.

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valerienorth
valerienorth
9 years ago

They don’t sound like they get outta the house that often so what could they need to “get away from”?
Maybe deep down they know that they’re jerks and that being away from a computer would do them some good but lack the will to just walk away and do a paint by number instead.

creativewritingstudent
creativewritingstudent
9 years ago

One of their suggestions is to ‘order babes online’. Apart from making women sound like my delicious chicken bhuna and naan bread dinner from the online takeaway service, how would your average, uh… babe… get to the island? Owning/renting a boat or Cessna isn’t cheap.

Unless by ‘babe’ they mean ‘RealDoll’. You can order those online. (And those were a concept I thought would stay in shojo manga for a few more decades…)

Cliff Pervocracy
9 years ago

They talk about girls like we’re a resource.

Can we get the island piped for hot and cold running girl?

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

They talk about girls like we’re a resource.

+1. Whenever anyone starts talking about “access” to women/females/vagina/sexist slur-o’-the-month I get squicked out.

Cliff Pervocracy
9 years ago

…however, their naïveté is pretty adorable. It really is like kids planning a five-story fully electrified treehouse when they don’t even have a tree. (It also, less adorably, reeks of “never had to consider the basic mechanisms of survival” privilege.)

Lots of tall about Bitcoins and Liquid Democracy and vertical farming… not so much about fresh water and sewage handling.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

These guys are going to be so bummed out when they realise that Amazon.com does not delivere “babes” to remote islands without a functional government.

Cliff Pervocracy
9 years ago

They also don’t seem to quite realize that people have lived independently on small islands for a very long time now, and you might be better off copying their basic infrastructures rather than reinventing every possible wheel with algae farms and Bitcoins.

(Former Marshall Islands resident… Funny, the Marshall Islands have women who actually just live there because it’s their home! They don’t have to be rented or imported or anything! But they do all this unglamorous stuff like catch fish and farm taro, not cool technical manly things like argue on the Internet about libertarianism.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

The elderly British guy with his own island I like. He’s so cute when he kisses his lost turtle! Yay for conservation, and following a passion that helps keep you in good shape as you get older. He looks great for 86.

I’m curious as to how the Redditors propose to maintain internet access on their island treehouse.

Jessay (@jessay)
9 years ago

That little tiny turtle!!

@Cliff, well, those islands weren’t set up by people like the redditors, so I can guess that deciding to move there of your own free will is much more appealing. A woman on reddit island would probably be fearing for her life 24/7.

starterlifesydney
starterlifesydney
9 years ago

Reddit island would be like Pitcairn Island v2.0?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitcairn_sexual_assault_trial_of_2004#section_2

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
9 years ago

Get back to talking about MRAs so we can all laugh at what a moron you are

For some odd reason I’m reminded of “[torrent of misogynistic invective]. Have sex with me!”

Shaenon
9 years ago

Oh, the Reddit Island subreddit. It is a thing of beauty. There’s one guy with a semi-realistic idea of how it could be done; he lives in Belize and suggests they build a resort and live off tourist dollars. Everyone else is working on the awesomest pillow fort the editors of Omni magazine circa 1988 could design.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Pecunium — “Imagine the shock when they discover there is no internet.” — they have a plan for that! Some expensive satellite system…no sign of medical care though (priorities, they’ve got some)

Ruby Hypatia — “Now how would those shipping containers hold up in a tropical storm?” — could hold up well if they were planning this logically, they can be welded straight to the foundation if you build container homes like normal homes (people do this, I’m not jut making shit up) — they’re supposedly strong enough to ride out a wildfire in, though I wouldn’t want to test that one.

Lady Zombie — happy (belated) birthday! (and yeah, the photoshopper of that sign is an ass)

Another MRA — “Get back to talking about MRAs so we can all laugh at what a moron you are” — what, don’t like it when we’re proving you to be the fools you are?

Just for the record here shipping container homes really are a thing in the real world, usually built similarly to how houses are but as faster and cheaper pre-fabs — they’re sustainable architecture because they’re all over the place already anyways. I’m a bit annoyed these redditors are giving a bad name to the environmentally friendly cargo container home. The island part is absurd, but using shipping containers as the basis for a house really isn’t.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

And now I have a geek brain crush on turtle guy, that’s doing island habitation right, and my biggest actual concern with this little reddit project — they’re going to pick an island and then wipe out the native species. The turtles are adorable, but protecting them, and helping them breed even, is awesome.

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Argenti: That’s not a plan, it’s a pipe dream. That satellite system is 1: slower than anything they are expecting, and 2: expensive to maintain. It also works less well the further N/S one gets.

This reminds me, in some ways, of the “White Orchid Project”, which was a different (and much worse) sort of Island Paradise plan. It was, I hope, a scam more than an serious effort.

The idea was to, “rescue” child prostitutes from SE Asian countries, ship them off to an island, train them to be some sort of philosopher king, and have them go back to where they’d been kidnapped from and take over the gov’t so it would become enlightened.

After that, it got weird.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

“That’s not a plan, it’s a pipe dream.” — fair enough, I was more noting that they had at least thought of that, unlike, say, cholera and e. coli — the dual lack of sanitation and lack of medicine will prove fatal if they ever manage this (which, thankfully, they won’t). “White Orchid Project” sounds weird in general, I’m sure the stage between that and “Profit!!” was really weird though. What’s N/S though? North/South would be the most obvious guess?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Their order of planning is killing me — http://www.reddit.com/r/redditisland/comments/uuuyr/wohaa_guys_just_a_minute_there_with_the_money/

“things like construction equipment for necessary infrastructure (clearing roads, commercial dock, marina, etc) will come out of the collective pot. if someone needs something special to build their personal structure that’ll have to come out of their pocket.”

Toilets guys, you need toilets! I know of one that’d work for this sort of thing — Sun Mar — any of their no-electricity lines, and yes, that’s a 1.5k toilet (it does, however, solve the cholera problem, sorta…until their non-air tight buildings flood out anyways) *has actually considered homesteading and realizes it’s a full time job*

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Yes, N/S = North and South.

Geosynch satellites are circum-equatorial, not circum-polar, so the further one gets from them 1: the harder it is to line them up; eventually they are occluded. 2: The more interference their is from the atmosphere. 3: The greater the lag time from send/receive/resend

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Gotcha, sounds like they’ve thought out exactly one point then — girls.

Shaenon
9 years ago

Pecunium — “Imagine the shock when they discover there is no internet.” — they have a plan for that! Some expensive satellite system…no sign of medical care though (priorities, they’ve got some)

On the opposite extreme, there are guys insisting they won’t need electricity at all, like the one who suggested they just bring battery-powered flashlights.

This is the meta-problem that’s quickly and hilariously emerging: beyond their shared libertarian ideals and love of rape jokes, they all have completely different concepts of this island paradise. You’ve got back-to-nature types who want to live off the land with no plumbing or electricity trying to hack out a plan with technocratic utopians who want helicopters, hydroponic farms, superfuels, and space colonies. (To be fair, skepticism has been expressed about the space colonies.) A thread about firearms revealed that half the islanders want to ban weapons, and half refuse to come unless they can bring their gun collections.

But they all agree they won’t need a governmental body or police force. I mean, how would disputes ever arise?

Howard Bannister
Howard Bannister
9 years ago

But they all agree they won’t need a governmental body or police force. I mean, how would disputes ever arise?

I believe all the lulz go right here.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

“You’ve got back-to-nature types who want to live off the land with no plumbing or electricity trying to hack out a plan with technocratic utopians who want helicopters, hydroponic farms, superfuels, and space colonies.”

Hey reddit? You can build your own rainwater collection system and solar water heater, and solar panels are getting reasonably priced…might want to consider hand crank flashlights instead of burning through batteries…and you’ll miss indoor plumbing within the first week or two. Also, cholera — do seriously consider proper toilets, outhouses on islands will poison your groundwater, should that be drinkable in the first place (not that you can generally get to it without an electricity powered drill anyways, do have fun drilling hundreds of feet by hand though I guess).

“But they all agree they won’t need a governmental body or police force. I mean, how would disputes ever arise?”

This is just epic — they can’t decide now on weapons, but don’t think they’ll have disputes in person?!

Tabby Lavalamp
9 years ago

“But they all agree they won’t need a governmental body…”

As long as they realize that they would still be answerable to whatever government has claim on the island. Libertarians hoping to create their own utopia have come across this same problem – every bit of land on Earth (except Antarctica) has been claimed by one nation or another and none of them are willing to give them up thanks to the sheer amount of space off the coasts of those islands it gives them control of.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Ruby Hypatia — “Now how would those shipping containers hold up in a tropical storm?” — could hold up well if they were planning this logically, they can be welded straight to the foundation if you build container homes like normal homes (people do this, I’m not jut making shit up) — they’re supposedly strong enough to ride out a wildfire in, though I wouldn’t want to test that one.

If they aren’t anchored down, they can withstand wind speeds of up to 100 mph. If they are anchored down, they can withstand wind speeds of 175 mph, which would be what you’d have with a category 5 hurricane. I would say they are probably safe, but if they wanted to be extra sure and have a structure that guarantees survival for the strongest hurricanes and even tornadoes, then they would want an above ground Dupont storm shelter with Kevlar (maybe not to live in all the time, because they’re costly, but just to survive storms).

I also realized that most of the Redditors in this plan are probably in the same age range. Have they planned for how they will get care when they become elderly? Will they have babies on the island or will it be a one generation thing? Well, I know the answer is it’s not going to happen anyway, but this is yet another flaw with their plan.

might want to consider hand crank flashlights instead of burning through batteries

I have a solar powered flashlight. You can put backup batteries in it, but it’s not necessary. It produces more light than a hand crank one, and the LED light is supposed to last a lifetime. They are cheap at Lowe’s.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

solar powered flashlight sounds so wrong, but I’m half not surprised, Ikea has little solar lights — I’ve never really liked the hand cranked ones, so I’m making a mental note of that. (Only suggested it because getting batteries, on an island with no shops, in a storm? Not Happening)

Are those wind speeds cargo specific or wood home ones? The anchoring is different is why I ask (the former can be welded together and to the foundation supports, but I’ve never seen numbers on how solid that really is)

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri, yes the numbers I found were specifically for cargo containers. I found the stats at a container homes FAQ

I suppose if they buried the cargo containers, they would also be more storm resistant, but then they’d have the problem of how to keep them from flooding. They could install a sump pump for each one, but that would require a source of energy. If they had solar powered sump pumps, they’d still have the problem of what to do in case the pump has a mechanical failure. Someone on the island would need to be a repairman with the equipment necessary to fix things. Zie would also have to teach other people how to do it, too, in case zie dies or is unable to work any more. Ha ha, is it wrong that I’m putting so much thought into such a ridiculous scenario? For some reason, I’m having fun with this.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Kendra, sorry, that question came off as curt didn’t it? They scare me like nothing else and perks of being in new england include being able to generally ignore them — I’ve been through one tornado, an F4 when I was 4, terrifying, absolutely terrifying, I’ll take a blizzard any day.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

I think it would be ideal if they built dome houses. Monolithic domes are virtually indestructible, safe from fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, and termites. A monolithic dome can be usable for centuries. They are also extremely energy efficient. Now I have no idea how any of the island Redditors would actually build these domes, but they would certainly meet their needs.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

“Ha ha, is it wrong that I’m putting so much thought into such a ridiculous scenario?” — eh, maybe? I think F4+ may kinda break one’s brain a bit though, actually seeing just what nature can dish out for no reason at all is goddamned terrifying after all. (See, even the words “after all” seem odd in context, as in “you mean once everything lands?” >.< )

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

I’ve seen the domes done with balloons basically — blow the balloon thing up and then concrete around it…they’re weird, and kind of cute in a hobbit-esque way.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Kendra, sorry, that question came off as curt didn’t it? They scare me like nothing else and perks of being in new england include being able to generally ignore them — I’ve been through one tornado, an F4 when I was 4, terrifying, absolutely terrifying, I’ll take a blizzard any day.

Oh no, that didn’t come off as curt at all. No worries. 🙂

I’ve never been in a blizzard, so I can’t compare the two disasters. In Joplin, we consider anything over 6″ of snow a “blizzard” lol. I haven’t been through any other disaster but last year’s tornado, and it was enough. I feel for you going through such a thing as a small child. I know it was hard on my own children, too, because they’re too little to understand.

I think that weather disasters are yet another thing the Redditors aren’t planning for. They’re too busy planning on how to get laid on their island. Ha ha ha, got to keep their priorities straight!

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

When I said “ridiculous scenario”, I meant the scenario of the Redditors even moving to an island at all, not planning for a disaster. That’s just a good idea for everyone, since it’s impossible to know what the future holds.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Kendra — I’m from CT, we’re used to waking up to the car being covered (as in “shit, where’s the car, I think it’s that lump?”) — not used to tornadoes of any size, so it was weird. Strangely not as bad as you’d think though, no one died from the tornadoes and one person died from the thunderstorm winds. Nothing compared to what Joplin went through, took til I was a teenager to not spend thunderstorms on tornado watch, so I feel for your kids (and you and the rest of Joplin).

“I think that weather disasters are yet another thing the Redditors aren’t planning for.” — yeah definitely, and if they’re looking at islands that aren’t 10+ above sea level, the tsunami risk is high. This could go terribly bad in so many ways, if they ever get it to remotely work that is.

This storm if you’re curious (and look, I wasn’t 4, I was 10 days shy of 4, happy-fucking-birthday eh?)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

“When I said “ridiculous scenario”” — I figured, it’s why I replied about tornadoes, because apparently even new england gets F4’s once every couple of decades. (meanwhile “snowpocalypse” was bad planning, not an usually bad storm)

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

That 1989 outbreak looked terrible. I’m glad there were no casualties, and that you didn’t get hurt, either. That’s really amazing considering how strong the tornadoes were in populated areas.

I’ve seen the domes done with balloons basically — blow the balloon thing up and then concrete around it…they’re weird, and kind of cute in a hobbit-esque way.

Yeah, they stand out a bit in the US, where most houses are built of studs. If it weren’t for that, I think they’d be more prevalent, considering how durable and ecologically friendly they are. Another drawback is that it’s hard to plumb when pipes leak, because the pipes are in concrete, but that’s a problem for houses built on slabs, too. At least with slab houses, a plumber can reroute pipes through the attic, but you can only use certain types of pipes that expand instead of freeze. Then again, this wouldn’t be a problem for the island Redditors, since they plan to live without running water and sewers anyway.

Would the Redditors bring a supply of vaccines, too? Don’t some vaccines also require refrigeration? If they won’t have doctors or medicine, then they should at least vaccinate. Then again, the UN or Rotary might vaccinate the Redditors against polio anyway, because they’re trying to eradicate it worldwide. What if they vaccinate ahead of time but don’t get booster shots? Then they’d be at risk for tetanus every time they got injured.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Re: the ’89 tornadoes — the CT governor called it a miracle no one was killed, and I’m inclined to agree (despite my usual atheist bend even — the “highly improbable” part certainly fits)

Re: dome houses — it’s partly the zoning laws, as I have actually considered trying get a cargo container home zoned and there’s just nothing for non-standard construction in many places. The interior walls could be wood/steel studs, so the plumbing doesn’t seem too impossible. I still say outhouses on an island is just asking for trouble though, they need some sort of sewage system (and this should probably be concern #1 considering how important it is for the medical issues).

Re: vaccines — I’d thought they all required refrigeration, but I could be wrong there. MSF certainly makes a big deal out of the issues of vaccinating populations in remote areas because of this issue though. And you’ve just reminded me to check how the 2012 polio rate is looking, because it really looks like they’re going to do it.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Wow…67 cases so far this year, versus 195 year-to-date for 2011, that’s a third…and all in four countries — Pakistan, Afghanistan, Nigeria and Chad. Polio is actually going to go the way of smallpox.

katz
9 years ago

Polio is actually going to go the way of smallpox.

Really? Awesome!

darksidecat
9 years ago

Making and maintaining a proper outhouse involves a lot more more than just a hole in the ground. My grandparents paid a guy to maintain my great grandfather’s when he was very old (he had indoor plumbing at that point that the Adult Services people insisted he have put in, which he refused to use, because apparently indoor plumbing is a rich snobby city people conceit e_e). I’m imagining the methane explosions and ammonia inhalation deaths on top of issues around the water table, pit filling, proper use of lime/ash/sawdust, etc, from redditors improperly building and maintaining outhouses.

I grew up in a rural poor area. The reality looks nothing like rich suburbanite fantasies. And we weren’t the worst off people I knew, and I grew up after the institution of federal programs to expand electricity, running water, and medical care further out, but I still have more than my fair share of stories that upperclass suburban people think are too outrageous to actually be true.

Dear island utopia fantasizers, the reality is less like this:

and more like this:

(I think I’ve linked that song to survival fantasy mras before too)

Shaenon
9 years ago

Making and maintaining a proper outhouse involves a lot more more than just a hole in the ground.

There’s been a lack of enthusiasm for even a hole-in-the-ground level of effort. One guy argued that they wouldn’t need a sanitation system because they’d agree to produce “a minimum of waste.” If only the rest of the world had been smart enough to think of that…

On a related note, two things I haven’t seen mentioned at all: garbage collection and bathing.

katz
9 years ago

One guy argued that they wouldn’t need a sanitation system because they’d agree to produce “a minimum of waste.”

Redditors are the last people on Earth I’d believe were voluntarily producing less crap.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

“One guy argued that they wouldn’t need a sanitation system because they’d agree to produce “a minimum of waste.”

So, like…they’re just going to try really hard not to poop very much? Yeah, this is going to work out great.

cloudiah
9 years ago

@darksidecat, How I love that song. Now you’ve started me off on a Dolly Parton binge…

Shaenon
9 years ago

This is just epic — they can’t decide now on weapons, but don’t think they’ll have disputes in person?!

Like the armchair libertarians they are, they seem to believe that if they can engineer the perfect constitution/contract ahead of time, it will eliminate all future problems. Similarly, there are members trying to work out a permanent division of property and income. Like, if you contribute 10% to the purchase of the island now, you’ll own 10% of the island and its income in perpetuity. This will cause no arguments down the road, because they’ll have a contract.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

katz — really

Jessay (@jessay)
9 years ago

Pecunium — “Imagine the shock when they discover there is no internet.” — they have a plan for that! Some expensive satellite system…no sign of medical care though (priorities, they’ve got some)

NOOOO! The only upside of them secluding themselves to their own island is so that they can leave everyone else alone. If they have the internet they’re still bothering people.

That dome thing is cool. I would be interested in making one that was really nice to look at on top of being super safe, because that thing is ugly. The lack of windows is a bummer too. I’d need to figure out a way to build windows into it without compromising the integrity of the structure, and dome house here I come. Def interested in making it shire-style in like, the woods up in Maine. That would be awesome.

And yeah Argenti, winter sucks but it’s better than tornadoes and stuff. The worst thing we’ve had to deal with living here is long, drawn-out power outages. When we lived in a super rural area of New Hampshire (I’m talking dirt road off a dirt road) there was a time when we lost power for over a week. It was then that we finally caved and got a generator.

Then last October that random snow storm that took all the power lines down because the trees still had so many leaves left that the branches were too heavy so it took at least a week in some areas to get power back. It’s bizarre that the people who plan New England towns don’t consider moving trees away from power lines to avoid this stuff.

I feel bad for the people out in WMass. They keep getting hit with tornadoes. WTF is going on out there?

katz
9 years ago

Like the armchair libertarians they are, they seem to believe that if they can engineer the perfect constitution/contract ahead of time, it will eliminate all future problems.

Because last time people in the US came up with a constitution, it eliminated all disagreements forever.

thekooriwoman
9 years ago

And if this magical Eutopian Island ever eventuates? How long till they find a conch, start killing the wildlife, and eventually each other?

I’m not a betting woman, but them odds look good to me. $100 on the Fielding version of this island.

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Argenti: Kendra, sorry, that question came off as curt didn’t it? They scare me like nothing else and perks of being in new england include being able to generally ignore them — I’ve been through one tornado, an F4 when I was 4, terrifying, absolutely terrifying, I’ll take a blizzard any day.

I hate tornadoes… I’ll take earthquakes, any day of the week. (I’ve lived through both).

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Eh, as long as you mean the <6 kind? Otherwise my vote remains on blizzards — have you done a nor'easter? They're not nearly as bad as anything that tries ripping off or caving in your roof (I guess they could cave it in, in theory, but I've never known it to happen)