Sorry to interrupt the regular proceedings here with an off-topic post, but I have just discovered the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen: A bunch of Redditors are talking about getting their own motherfucking island! Reddit Island! Where they will live, and farm algae, and give each other massages, and all the other things you do on an island of your own.
Naturally, the discussion is extremely Reddit-tastic. Here, after one Redditor says he may have found them a perfect island, PlutoISaPlanet asks the obvious question:
girls? are there girls there?
You need to read the entire discussion that follows, which will also help to explain why they may have trouble getting girls to sign up.
Bludstone, meanwhile, raises some practical questions:
As there is -still- no reddit island business plan, there is no real reason to be looking for physical islands yet. We need a comprehensive mathematical analysis on how to make a profitable (or at least sustainable) island living.
And ive said that since day 1.
Later in the discussion – which you also need to read in its entirety — he accuses his fellow Reddit Island enthusiasts of being a bunch of unserious dabblers in the fine art of island-utopia-making:
You need a comprehensive plan, contracts vetted by lawyers on both sides, etc.
Honestly this whole project has screamed AMATEURS from the start. Its a real shame since its a cool as hell idea.
One enthusiastic newbie has some questions, including:
Property buying and selling, rights, early adopters, etc’, what’s the current consensus on that? If I “donate”/”pledge” $100 right now, will it assure anything for when the time comes? Will I get a small place where I can build my hut? or will I get a 2 bedroom apartment in a 50 stories high sky scraper?
In still another thread, Reddit Islanders reject one island in Florida – on sale for $42,000 — as too small, though one suggests they could build a tall tower on it to accommodate more Redditors.
Another frugal Redditor suggests they could start out by building houses out of old shipping pallets!
But if you’re going to need a shipping container just to get the pallets out there, another asks, why not just live in the shipping container?
People, I cannot tell you how enthusiastic I am about the prospect of a bunch of Redditors moving to some tiny island in the middle of nowhere to live in a shipping container.
EDITED TO ADD: ArchangelleDworkin of SRS is on the case, and it turns out this post isn’t quite as off-topic as I thought. In fact, it’s totally on-topic, as she shows with this collection of horrible shit the Reddit Islanders have been saying about women (while lamenting the fact that their never-going-to-happen island project would be a total sausage fest).
If you follow her links you’ll discover even more poop that she didn’t even bother to link to. On Reddit, there is literally too much poop for ordinary humans to catalog.
Also, I totally stole her Reddit island graphic.
Whatever happens, don’t let them get any WMDs
The internet is such a marvelous thing!! *looks on with unabashed affection*
SRS island will actually be a heavy-duty dirigible floating directly above Reddit island. There will be lots of apartments, telescopes, and it will position itself such that once every day for an hour the Redditors will feel the fear of an angry god in its shadow.
Fantasies about building your own island utopia are okay, until you stop realizing that they are just fantasies. Sort of like the difference between fantasizing that it would be cool to be spiderman and trying to turn yourself into spiderman.
Reddit Island – where every resident is a sovereign citizen and a law unto themselves.
No thanks. I’ll have popcorn with the rest of the world as we wait for the island to go boom.
Lord of the flies here they come.
This is too good for words.
Lol that’s hilarious. Just ftr though, shipping container homes are an actual thing with actual designers making them — I really doubt these guys have thought out the issues of using a rusting metal box as a house though.
“I’m not so sure an “airtight” container is necessary in the areas we are looking anyway” — have fun with those tropical bugs and their tropical diseases then XD
These guys haven’t put one second of thought into the fact they’d be giving up all the developed world luxuries likes medicine huh?
What about that libertarian island pyramid scheme? Why don’t they start by copying their business plan? Or better yet, just donate to Peter Theil’s fund? Even if they themselves aren’t rich enough to live in Peter’s neighborhood, perhaps he’d help them build an internet user’s island later on.
Bless their hearts!
I need to work the phrase “didn’t mean to poop on your algae farm” into at least one conversation a day.
All they need to do to make this plan work out is to watch a lot of Gilligan’s Island and copy that. The professor can build them radios out of coconut shells. As for women, that’s no problem. They’ll bring an actress named Ginger and another woman named Mary Ann.
I have this mental image of love dolls made from driftwood, coconut shells, seaweed and paint… and a faction of the residents complaining about how all the Alphas have the best love dolls and that the Betas have to have the splintery ones. 😛
Wanna have some fun with the Redditors? Throw these shears at their stick-on Penises:
1. Call Paul Elam ‘Elam’ instead of his full name. But you already knew that one.
2. Claim that Second Wave Feminism was better than Third Wave Feminism or First Wave Feminism. And that anti-family Feminism is the coolest kind of Feminism.
3. Paul Elam totally sucks ass at being a radio MRA, because only two 30-second clips of him speaking on AVFM actually exist.
4. Erin Pizzey and Christina Hoff Sommers never existed and to say they are hotter than Mary Wollstonecraft, Gloria Steinem, or Valerie Solanas is blasphemous.
5. Paul Elam wants to non-consensually bone Feminists, in particular Germaine Greer, Susan Faludie and Andrea Dworkin. In that order. Actually, any mention of male-on-female rape will rile MRAs.
6. Say Jack Dawson was the only REAL man ever.
7. Father’s Rights are gay.
I LOVE how they talk about getting “wymins” on the island the same way one would discuss how to get supplies. Priceless.
It’s too bad Hervé Villechaise is no longer with us. This Fantasy Island needs someone who can cry “Mister Redditor! Mister Redditor!” with true authority.
I suspect the Reddit fans of Bioshock are looking forward to their gene-splicing implants that will allow them to walk on the ceiling and shoot bees out of their left hands.
Something a bit like this?
It’s like a tree fort for lonely internet miscreants! I seriously want them to do this. By the time they’ve figured out that living with a bunch of other male miscreants sucks, they won’t have the means to get back to society.
STFU, Conservatives is planning a similar endeavor for the liberal Tumblrsphere.
Go for it dudes.
http://www.storrielakelands.com/3_islands_on_lake_nicaragua
I like the guy who knows a dude who happens to own an island he’s willing to let them use… forever, off the coast of Scotland. Nothing but a dock, but, “it’s pretty big”.
I don’t think they understand what the climate is like up in that part of the world.
“I don’t think they understand what the climate is like up in that part of the world.” — in shipping containers without insulation? That’s a good way to freeze to death fast.
Dracula that video is perfect.
@pecunium, i’m Scottish…i now live in Australia for many good reasons, climate being one of them. i would laugh my little cotton socks off if they went to live on an island off the coast of Scotland. and even if they are happy to deal with the climate you don’t need the tropics for annoying insects, the Scottish midge is a force to be reckoned with.
http://scotlandthedamp.blogspot.com.au/2006/02/wee-bastard-scottish-midge.html