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It’s a Tsunami! It’s a Coiled Spring! It’s a Mixed Metaphor MGTOW MANPOCALYPSE!

The Apocalypse: Zombies Going Their Own Way

It’s time for another mixed-metaphor MANPOCALYPSE over on MGTOWforums.com! This time the Nostradamus Going His Own Way is a fellow calling himself Swetnam. Here are his dire predictions:

I like to talk of men’s rights as a tsunami crashing against the shore..but men’s rights are just the cresting wave. Just behind that are a vast array of other things generated by the cultural earthquake that hit the western world in the late half of the twentieth century.

Huh. So everything since the 1950s sucks? No television, no internet, no video games, no microwaved Hot Pockets? Do you really want to go back to listening to Glenn Miller and Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters? (Actually, the Andrews Sisters sort of kick ass, but never mind.)

If I may coin another metaphor…the anglosphere is like a coiled spring. That spring is coiling ever more tightly, and someday it’s going to break. When it does, all hell will break loose. It wont be pretty. In fact, I think there is going to be terrible violence ahead, as decades of suppressed anger and frustration finally break free. Blood and Iron. And some of us now will be around to see it. What will emerge from the other side? I honestly cannot say I know.

Ah, he’s dancing that old dance, the dance called “you ladies better shut up or angry dudes will beat the shit out of you. Oh, but not me. I’m not threatening anything. I’m just predicting.  I don’t not-so-secretly relish these violent fantasies.”

Speaking of dancing:

I have a good somali friend. He used to say to me that his worst nightmare would be the day that white men learn to dance. I asked him why? He said that if white men are learning to dance, that means they cannot find other ways to attract women or show status. if that happens, then white males will become the new gangsters, but vastly more numerous, organised and with an institutional memory of happier times. They will look at the people who now stand above them, and see them in alliance with the people who once stood below them but are now equal to them, and hate them both with a rage that can scarcely be imagined. And they will act on that rage.

I can’t say i disagree.

Of course you can’t.

Elsewhere in the same thread, Womanhater offered some equally dire “predictions,” with a side order of blatant racism.

In my opinion, the veneer of mystery and respect that once adorned womanhood is gone forever. Some men will engage with them long enough to fuck them. Some men may find a tolerable one or two of them to procreate with – on his terms when the laws are changes (and they will eventually be changed). Many men will simply not see any point to it.

But I am speaking of the generations of men who have yet to date or perhaps to even have been born.

Those of us in the 15-45 age bracket who’ve had to grow up and endure the bullshit of the past 2 or 3 generations of twats will either ghost or pump n’ dump. Only those men born after the gender war is concluded will even consider something more.

The women aged 35 and up are irrelevant since they’re past the biological point of no return anyway.

Well, hey, at least Womanhater grants women ten more years of non-irrelevance than does W.F. Price on The Spearhead.

Those 35 and under will likely be the ones who will bear the brunt of what I’ll call the Male Awakening. They’re most likely to end up single and childless in mind numbing drone jobs.

Those women under the age of 20 who actually pay attention and see how this lifestyle will leave them a few decades down the line however, they’re the ones who have a chance at some form of successful relationship and children, but a LOT will have to change between now and then.

Translation: You ladies better date me OR ELSE!

Most likely, truth be told, the West and its founding race will simply die off due to the advanced stage of the feminist cancer. Who and what replaces it I guess will be unveiled as the decades pass.

“Its founding RACE!?” Did we just take a detour into Klanland?

Oh, but there’s more. Legacy – possibly a Brony? — offers this awkward metaphor:

Like air, society doesn’t notice male slavery until the workhorses start missing from the stables.

TheManWithThePlan offers this sort-of plan:

If by swing the pendulum violently back you mean men having their own gender roles revolution (which could very likely fuck women over big time without taking away any of their rights), then yes that’s probably going to happen. I don’t see anyone “forgiving” people for the BS that’s been happening. Hell half of men out there have been fucked over by their wives, I doubt they’ll just say “it’s okay women 100+ years ago had it bad as well, so I deserved it” and move on.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and these guys can’t wait.

EDITED TO ADD: The fellows at MGTOWforums have offered a rebuttal, of sorts, to this post.

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cloudiah
8 years ago

Leeloo Dallas Multipass

Or more accurately, a Dense Dunce Revolution.

Or even more accurately, nothing.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
8 years ago

I still say offer the MGTOWs their own island and promise them that they’ll never have to see another woman again. Except now we’ll have to build dance halls on the island.

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

drst: zomg. If the world is gonna be run by gangs, let it be guys dressed like that and dancing that way.

(obviously it’s my second best choice, after no manpocalypse)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

angeshy — Hello!

“Maybe I’m trying to process them with the wrong part of my head.” — I suggest using the part that once probably thought boys had cooties, that’s about the maturity level they seem to operate on.

Ponkz
Ponkz
8 years ago

Y’know, I went to an art school degree show this week. I saw lots of amazing stuff – the photography and landscape painting was particularly good.

However, there was one project that simply took my breath away. A Chinese student had interviewed other Chinese artists from the UK via the internet, granting them anonymity. They’d asked them about the situation in China re. artistic freedom and then asked them if they had the chance to do anything artistically, free from censorship, what would they do? They told them, and they actually did it. They interviewed a few China-based artists and had a few works based on each of their suggestions. It was so, so moving, so jaw-dropping, so brave. It was amazing.*

I’d imagine if a student had done MRA-inspired work, it might have been seen as amusingly ironic at best. What it would not have done is resulted in torture and death for expressing the “wrong” opinion.

* Apologies for being vague – I know I’m probably being unnecessarily cautious, but I’m sure you all appreciate why!

glasgow sex worker
8 years ago

If an MRA approaches me, snapping his fingers in a threatening manner, I’ll be prepared.

I’ve got just the video for this – cats snapping their fingers & forming dancing gangs! You’re welcome, manboobz.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

I, for one, welcome Hellsing derails.

Okay.

Ponkz
Ponkz
8 years ago

@angeshy – there’s often a form of cognitive dissonance going on with MRAs/MGTOWs where the female family relatives and friends they genuinly feel affection and love for are just different i.e. not like all those whores! It kind of reminds me of how my father-in-law is able to make incredibly racist comments about the large Pakistani Muslim community that lives in his neighbourhood, then dash upstairs to share a cup of tea and a chat with his Pakistani Muslim neighbour without batting an eyelid.

Of course, there’s also those guys who just fucking hate women regardless i.e. Oor NWOSlavey. I really don’t know WTF when it comes to them…..

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

Blood and Iron? Dog-whistle much… esp. tied to “The Anglosphere”.

“Its founding RACE!?” Did we just take a detour into Klanland?

No, see above, re “Blut und Ehre

I’m, bitterly, amused at the subtext in the, “Somali” friend.

1: White men can’t dance.
2: Black men (or at least African men) can.
3: If White Men learn to dance they have been toppled from the pinnacle of their success.
4: Such a fall would be bad.

In short, this legendary Somali dreads the day white men aren’t in charge any more.

Right.

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

polliwog: regarding your song parodies… have you heard of filk?

cloudiah
8 years ago

When you see white men on the streets dancing like this:

It’s on!

cloudiah
8 years ago

Oh damn, why u no embed, video?

Fembot
Fembot
8 years ago

@angeshy

I think a lot of MRAs don’t even like their mothers or sisters much, either. I’ve heard a lot say they had a bad mother, or their sister is a slut, etc. Maybe they’ve already cut ties with them. As for friends, I don’t think they have many IRL, male or female. Of course, WTF Price likes to talk about his female friends and sexy European girlfriend, so who knows. It’s funny how they always say about their wives or girlfriends, “she hates feminism, too.” So, I’m thinking their girlfriends are not political, stupid, or just don’t like to have serious conversations with the men they sleep with.

But this is the MRAs dream woman:

1. sexy, young, thin, feminine
2. self supporting, but doesn’t have a career (ick) because that would make her too independent and masculine. So, must have a trust fund.
3. virgin
4. isn’t too educated, not a feminist, but has no interest in silly pop culture
5. likes to have sex and give bj’s and stuff all the time
6. never asks her man for anything, like money, or taking out the garbage
7. always splits the check, or pays, because she is so grateful to be spending time with such a lovely man

And in MRA land none of these things are contradictory, I guess.

Fembot
Fembot
8 years ago

OMG, I have committed so many crimes against the apostrophe in that previous post. Sorry.

Fembot
Fembot
8 years ago

I forgot one:

8. Always cooks, cleans, scrubs skidmarks, etc. but requires nothing in return. So in addition to always paying her own way, she provides her man with free labor.

cloudiah
8 years ago

That video actually made me fall in love with all those dudes, so imaginary “somali” friend had a point about the power of dance to attract the females.

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

Okay, the MRA Dance Revolution is a pretty fun mental image, but I’m still entertaining myself by imagining the manosphere as a bunch of slinkies angrily slinking their way down the Capitol Building steps.

chocomintlipwax
8 years ago

Well, if they want to go back to an era before women could vote, have an education, or own property … yeah, that was an era when white men danced. Sorry, guys. You can’t have it both ways.

You also get to go back to courting and chaperones. Have fun.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Aw, Polliwog beat me to the West Side Story filk.

But I couldn’t have done it as well.

Great job, Polliwog!

Ponkz
Ponkz
8 years ago

@Fembot – Oh, I’ve no doubt a lot of them have had negative experiences of female relatives as well. My own mother is a very angry, bitter woman who (she feels) has been let down by every man in her life and as a result is a bona fide misandrist. I challenge her constantly on the misandric statements she makes, to the point that she no longer makes them in front of me. Or at least, she didn’t anyway. I’m not speaking to her at the moment for other reasons related to her anger management issues which I won’t go into.

Anyway, my mum was a total daddy’s girl until my grandfather started having affairs behind my grandmother’s back and expecting my mother to cover for him. She’s also been married twice. My mum’s first husband was a heroin addict and, after a long time supporting him, she realised he wasn’t going to change and divorced him. Her second husband – my dad – is gay. My dad finally decided he couldn’t live in the closet any longer when I was about 8 and came out. My mum, suffice to say, didn’t take it very well.

So my mum often uses all this stuff to justify her hatred of men. I won’t deny that what may mum has been through hasn’t been, for her, hurtful, confusing, humiliating, etc. but I also really think she should get over it, for her own sake at least. Wallowing in it, even blaming it on all men, is deeply unhealthy.*

*Just to clarify on the situation regarding my father, he came from a very conservative family where being gay would’ve been social suicide. His older, more conservative relatives are all dead now and his cousins/ brothers accept him and his partner as they are, so he’s a lot more open nowadays. I love my father so much and am so proud of him.

indifferentsky
8 years ago

hahaha the slinky comment. I’m off to find Dick Van Dyke vids.
The guy didn’t even know how to dance before Mary Poppins. Dancing was a big thing in the olden days long before Dick Van Dyke as well.

See if this does not get you going.

cloudiah
8 years ago

imagining the manosphere as a bunch of slinkies angrily slinking their way down the Capitol Building steps
</blockquote

That's a cool image, but you know what's a cute image? Hamlet the mini pig taking his first trip down a staircase and then plunging into a bowl of oatmeal:

cloudiah
8 years ago

I borked that completely. Yonkers!
Here’s the video:

AbsintheDexterous
8 years ago

I imagine the “Somali friend” comment as something that routinely happens to my clueless coworker. She’s kind of a know-it-all (when she doesn’t know a lot), and really gullible as a result of this, so people love messing with her and telling her things that just aren’t true. It’s like people can smell her smugness a mile away and try to convince her of the dumbest things. I wonder if the “Somali friend” is like this – tells him this stuff and later dies laughing because the guy actually believes this shit.

I’m glad that I don’t have to sit near her anymore so that I don’t have to fact check anything because she lacks the mental ability to use Google. But the crap that people will try to convince her of is endless. I can totally see someone doing that to this guy and I’m sure he’ll eat it up, all the while “Somali friend” is trying to keep a straight face.

In fact, I sometimes think the whole MRA movement is like this – gullible dorks that people just mess with. I mean, they are rather gullible.

Nanasha
Nanasha
8 years ago

See, shit like this basically makes me annoyed at the whole “you must be CRAZY to believe that…” arguments that come from the same mouths of these guys.

They go on about all this horrible stuff and then when women avoid them because the horrible misogyny is reeking from their pores, they call women “crazy” and “paranoid” for not “taking a chance” with them because said woman can read the turmoil and bullshit under his skin.

You know how it starts- the guy with the kind of off-putting vibe is talking with you and you kind of back off, but he gets aggressive, or starts touching you even though you don’t really know him all that well. Eventually his body language gets more angry and violent and his voice and demeanor becomes more and more insulting and he starts referring to you as “bitch” and shit like that. And finally, it all culminates in him blaming and shaming on you, telling you that you’re passing up a “good guy” and that you’re the proof that all women like assholes.

And then it occurs to you-HE IS DOING THIS BECAUSE HE THINKS IT’S GOING TO GET HIM INTO YOUR PANTS (and also he probably disrespects women), and if you do manage to get away from him, his parting shot always has to be something like “well you were ASKING for it!” as though being humiliated, insulted and demeaned to was explicitly requested by your boobs.

Ya know, I’d be happy if these MGTOW’s would just GTOW already. Or, rather, GTFO. The rest of us learned that life isn’t fair and how to share in kindergarten. It’s obvious that these people did not- maybe they ought to get a time-out on Mars until they can come back and participate in circle time.

indifferentsky
8 years ago

The step in time video I posted is long but worth it, there’s a lot that is appropos here, at the end they even say , votes for women step in time, and it’s the master…
IDK seems like a lot of manboobz zen.

I know they aren’t dancing in this next one but it gets funny toward the end and you can’t help but think of manboobz. The climax to the scene reminded me of Pervocracy’s comment on this thread… hemming…

So much zen in this one. (Zen the way some of my acquaintances and I use it has absolutely nothing to do with the real Zen, it’s more like a Daily Show usage, but what we use it for is when you run into something, usually media. that has several components of current running themes, and that thing might even make you think or enjoy yourself, also might not.)

——————–

You also get to go back to courting and chaperones. Have fun.

-chocomintlipwax

Well, I think they wouldn’t mind that at all as long as we women knew our place and realized what a privileged class we were, being treated like delicate tea cups and all. They want a more “simpler” time when women were raging alcoholic shrews from pent up anger and resentment, er no wait…I’m getting sidetracked. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf?

They want to live in a time where it was even more perfectly ok to hate men and talk on and on about it. There should be a Hammerstein type musical number written with women singing all the things that women could say about men and just get a wink and a nod for, and it could be a historical document of how women lived a few decades ago.

My elderly friend that loved Ralph Nader (she’s 80 now) would tell me that back in the day people had one car, this is why everyone delivered. The woman was at home, and immobile basically, so with the advent of the suburbs, there was no walking to the store in many areas, so things were delivered. The pharmacy delivered. My friend would ask for a list of the ingredients that went into the meds she was having delivered, and could not get cooperation. Of course now it’s the law, but back then she was told by the pharmacist he would only deal with her husband. The list goes on.

So yeah back in the day women could talk massive shit about men, non stop, with all their “Is your husband at home?” experiences, and nobody would bat an eye.
These MRA folks are entirely full of shit. They are not worried about anything but losing privilege. They feel their privs are the natural order of things and to upset that is to remove the color yellow from the spectrum, or something like that. We can’t possibly function as a species unless this “natural” order is in place, no matter who it hurts.

Fembot
Fembot
8 years ago

@cloudiah

That baby pig is precious. I want to get one, but I don’t think my cats would like it.

Morgan
Morgan
8 years ago

What’s with the hatred of white men dancing? Some of them can do it very well, and make it look quite beautiful

Case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGR2XedwX0I

Also, men (and women) of all races have been using the art form known as dance for millennia now, and none of the OP’s dread predictions have come true.

None of these “manpocalypse” predictors made any sense! Is it just me, or are they getting more and more incoherent the more we read about them?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“So yeah back in the day women could talk massive shit about men, non stop, with all their “Is your husband at home?” experiences, and nobody would bat an eye.”

That’s only history? My first (intentionally) androgynous hair cut was ~15 years ago, my mother agreed chopping it all off was fine, the stylist wouldn’t go shorter than a bob because she’d had angry fathers before. We basically got told, in the late 90s, that I couldn’t get a boys’ haircut without a man’s permission. Granted it was odd enough that we still joke about it, but it wasn’t nearly long enough ago for me to comfortable relegating “Is your husband home?” to history.

And Jehovah’s Witnesses still do that, I answer the door to get “is the man of the house home?” — at least they just go “well give this to them then please” when I say no. While I don’t have issue with them per se, I do have issue with door-to-door anything, so getting rid of them quickly is a plus.

AbsintheDexterous — I hope you’re right about his “Somali friend” — it’d make sense, considering “white men can’t dance” is said often enough, though usually in jest, I could totally see someone pulling his leg and taking it as far as they could.

That pig is adorkable, WANT! (Considering my fish are only sort of not against the lease, cannot have)

nwoslave
8 years ago

It’s funny, edgy and enjoyable to ridicule straight, white men every chance you get. Women revel in this particular form of hatred so much so you’d think they’re getting paid to do it. Oh that’s right, all those female journalists are getting paid to spew hatred. Everyone here enjoys it so much, they do it for free.

angeshy
8 years ago

Ah, thanks for the clarification Argenti, Ponkz and Fembot (And hiya!) So 10 year old boy children it is. *sigh*. I did my tour of duty babysitting and house maiding in my early to late teens. (I felt quite fancy when I got a legitimate job and could reject these $4.00/hour opportunities). Christ almighty, nothing is worse than a boy child who isn’t allowed to drive his big wheel beyond the driveway, but feels entitled to the entire world.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Thank goodness Owly is here. Us straight white guys were starting to get slightly marginalized by all these West Side Story videos.

Sharculese
8 years ago

owlslave i don’t feel ridiculed but maybe that’s because i’m not as much of a whiner as you are.

lauralot89
8 years ago

Spoken as if NWO isn’t reveling in spewing hatred at women/feminists/anyone who isn’t NWO.

Sharculese
8 years ago

to be fair he isn’t engaging in ridicule so much as incoherent sputtering mixed with thinly veiled threats

ragefromthebasement
8 years ago

@NWO

What statement in particular is hateful toward straight white men in general, and not directed at one individual? Please, tell me.

When we ridicule WTF Price et al it’s not because we hate men. It’s because they’re douches. I think we explain this over and over to you, but you conveniently ignore it.

Please try to make more sense in the future. Your rants just sound like one long gurgling fart, only less pleasant.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Does anyone else read NWO’s comments and just go “wtf are you talking about?”

Where’s the MISANDRY!! is it that cute pig? The song about dames? West Side Story? Or did you completely misunderstand the Hellsing derail and find some meaning it in that isn’t in the anime? Oh, I know!

“It’s funny, edgy and enjoyable to ridicule [women] … Everyone here I enjoys it so much, they I do it for free.” — NWO, all the projection, yet again.

ragefromthebasement
8 years ago

@Argentina

I think the sane thing. It’s like he pulls key words out of a hat (misandry…silk panties…kitty litter…conspiracy) and then strings them together to make a sentence.

ragefromthebasement
8 years ago

@argenti

Sorry about your name…my iPhone is a douche.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
8 years ago

He doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s just an opening line. NWO’s equivalent of “Hi, how’s it going?”

cloudiah
8 years ago

I have to admit, my entire motive for posting that pig video was misandry. I hate the shiny shorts that guy is wearing.

Hey, NWO, today I took the day off of work to take my best friend to and from his first colonoscopy. More misandry!

lauralot89
8 years ago

@cloudiah: You drove?! How DARE you engage in such masculine behaviors?! ARE YOU SAYING THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED MEN?!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

rage/fembot — ahh auto-correct fails, no problem; I think I’m going to read NWO’s posts as a form of madlibs from now on, that should make them more amusing.

Sir Bodsworth — but who drops just “Hi, how’s it going?” in the comments section of a blog? I mean, hi NWO! But there’s a time and a place!

More random videos — dwarf puffers having snails for a snack (they will definitely solve a snail problem in no time flat, though you’ll never manage to clean up all the shells)

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Owly Mad Libs!

It’s funny, edgy and enjoyable to ridicule [adjective], [adjective] [plural noun] every chance you get. [plural noun] revel in this particular form of [noun] so much so you’d think they’re getting [noun/plural] to do it. Oh that’s right, all those [adjective] [plural noun] are getting [noun/plural] to spew hatred. Everyone here enjoys it so much, they do it for [noun].

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

It’s funny, edgy and enjoyable to ridicule leafy, orange whales every chance you get. Oncologists revel in this particular form of Oklahoma so much so you’d think they’re getting bananas to do it. Oh that’s right, all those testy orangutans are getting coconuts to spew hatred. Everyone here enjoys it so much, they do it for bowling balls.

Hm, needs tweaking. Oklahoma?

cloudiah
8 years ago

@lauralot Obviously, when I say “take my friend to and fro” I did not mean that I drove an automobile, as that would be unladylike. I sat down in the street and cried for a while, and a sweaty tired man (to whom I would never give up a seat on the bus of course) came by to give me money. I took the money and cried some more, so he purchased a pedicab and hauled me to my friend’s apartment so we could pick him up and take him to the doctor’s office. While I waited, I cried until he brought me a sumptuous breakfast and then entertained me with his japery. When the procedure was done, he hauled us back to my friend’s place and made sure my friend was comfortable, and then took me back home. By that point, all I had to do was sniffle a bit and let my upper lip tremble, and he painted my apartment, shampooed my carpet, emptied the cats’ litter box, and purchased the ingredients to allow him to cook me a gourmet dinner. Now he is down in the garage changing the oil and air filters in my car. When he’s done with that, he’ll paint my toenails, and then I might let him go for the evening…

Fembot
Fembot
8 years ago

@Tulgey

It’s funny, edgy and enjoyable to ridicule round, barbecued Frenchmen every chance you get. Scientologists revel in this particular form of ice skating so much so you’d think they’re getting mutton chops to do it. Oh that’s right, all those toilet trained dolphins are getting sparkly confetti to spew hatred. Everyone here enjoys it so much, they do it for Qtips.