Men’s Rights Activists and manosphere misogynists love to complain that I “cherry pick” quotes in an attempt to make them look bad. Which makes it especially ironic that all too often when I call them out on some particular bit of bullshit, they more or less double down on that bullshit, reiterating and in many cases amplifying the terrible things they originally said.
Several days ago, I wrote about a Spearhead post from W.F. Price with the priceless title “After 25, Women Are Just Wasting Time.” It was appalling even by Spearhead standards. Price used the untimely death of a talented young writer named Marina Keegan as an opportunity to rehash the belief, widely held in the manosphere, that women over the age of 25 who haven’t managed to snag themselves a “good husband” are “just wasting time,” growing older and uglier and less appealing to men. (Evidently, women’s appeal to men is the only thing that really matters about them.)
Price’s article inspired numerous comments from Spearheaders that were even more grotesquely misogynistic and cruel than his own post; Price at least pretended to care about the dead girl, even though his post was a crass and opportunistic insult to her memory.
And it inspired one regular Man Boobz commenter, a 26-year-old woman, to wade into the muck that is the Spearhead’s comments section to point out that Price’s grand narrative of female decline after age 25 has no relation whatsoever to her own life story:
I’m 26 years old. 27 terrifyingly soon. I am nothing like the person I was when I graduated college.
After originally getting a film degree, I’ve just started nursing school.
I’m living on the other side of the country and loving the different culture here.
I’m dating a wonderful guy who mysteriously didn’t dump me on my 25th birthday.
I’m doing difficult, not always fun, but ultimately socially useful work, work I couldn’t imagine myself doing when I graduated college.Since I graduated college, I’ve read more books, worked on more movies, learned more skills, lifted more weight, traveled more places, marched in more protests, gotten published more times, saved more lives than I thought I ever would.
And I’m still only 26.
You think I’m going to stop protesting and writing and working the wild Saturday midnight shift in the ER before I’m 30? Before I’m 60?
Or do you think it doesn’t matter because I might not be as fuckable then?
Well then fuck you. I’m 26 and I got miles to go.
–
(Oh, and I’m way better at sex now. Guys who thought I hit my “expiration date” just around the time I was first learning what a Kegel was, you are missing out.)
The Spearheaders responded, predictably enough, with downvotes and insults and a lot of mainsplainy comments suggesting that she’s regret it forever if she doesn’t get married ASAP and start popping out children.
The strangest comment of the bunch came from a Spearhead “Shieldmaiden” (that’s what they call female commenters on The Spearhead, for reals) by the name of Andie, who launched into a barely coherent tirade that somehow revolved around, er, SCENTED CANDLES!
Price, after seeing Andie’s rant mocked by the commenters here, decided to feature it today as the Spearhead “Comment of the Week.” So without further ado, here is what Price considers to be the Spearhead community at its best:
@26 year old woman
Let’s see how you feel when you’re 29 and the end of everything possible is right at your doorstep. Hell, lots of women are infertile at 26. Done. You won’t do everything. You won’t be a mother.
And if that doesn’t bother you, darlin’, you ain’t a woman.
And if your plans are to actually BE a mother (as in do the damn work), you are already in very deep water.
Your resume will never put his chubby little arms around you and tell you he loves you, like a child will. Your resume will never give you grandchildren, like your children might. Your resume will never share in all your joys, all your sorrows, all your triumphs, all your tragedies, like your husband will.
But you WILL be able to rape that resume of HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS over your lifetime. Yay!
The fastest growing consumer product category: scented candles. SCENTED FUCKING CANDLES.
Yes, 26 year old woman, all your education and opportunity and rights have resulted in millions of children raised without fathers, the total destruction of the family, the rise of GIANT ASS government to give all those wymyns a place to work (doing utterly useless shit) and what was it for? What did we gain?
SCENTED FUCKING CANDLES!!
Nicely done, ladies. Really good job.
Fuck you, bitch. My daughters are coming for you. And millions of daughters just like mine. We see you, you superficial piece of trash. You have cost us our lives. For patchouli candles.
You will pay.
Go back and read @26 year old woman’s comment, then read Andie’s again. Quite a contrast, wouldn’t you say?
I should note that when Price first posted the quote, he evidently left out the last few paragraphs; perhaps even he realized they were a tad over the line as a response to a woman whose only real “crime” was telling the Spearheaders that her life was interesting and fulfilling to her, and that she wasn’t planning on having any babies in the foreseeable future. (And if they didn’t approve of her life, too fucking bad for them.)
In the comments to Price’s “Comment of the Week” post, HL offers this thought:
Every time something like this comes up, it becomes ever more apparent that the ignorance, hate mongering, bigotry and fallacies rests so much more heavily on the side of the feminists.
To paraphrase Rick James, lack of self-awareness is a hell of a drug.
Of course, now that I read it again, I realize that it’s probably just a troll. But there are MRAs and MRA sympathizers who feel that way.
He needs to stay the hell away from women for the rest of his life. I’m not even sure if he should apologize to her because anyone as shitwitted as he is would bound to fuck it up and hurt her even more. I can see this happening.
“Uh…sorry I didn’t believe you when you said you were raped. I mean, you’re kind of a slut anyway so…I just figured. You know?”
Mostly he shouldn’t try to apologize because then he’ll think of himself as a hero for apologizing and figure she now owes him.
@Nanasha
“Bottom line is- if you’re a mom, everyone (including yourself) is expected that you’re going to sacrifice everything for your children, that you will cut corners on your own life, save all the good stuff and the extra money for others, and basically be a selfless human version of the Giving Tree until all that’s left is this stump all the while your ungrateful children and husband (ex husband who left you for a mistress?) ask why you can’t just give them MORE?”
A man sacrifices all his funsies for his wife and children, doesn’t he? Yet apparently he’s an ungrateful husband, or ungrateful leaving with a mistress. His sacrifices are taken for granted, a woman’s sacrifices are paramount. His don’t matter, only her’s are of any concern. The eternal victim. As always women look to the scant handful of men at the top, never the basement where almost all men reside. Be sure to tell hubby what you think of him when he gets home, and how you suffer while he lives a carefree life. And let’s be honest, women initiate the vast majority of divorces with the top several reasons being boredom, money, and of course she can do better.
—————–
“If you’re a dad, and you show even slight interest in caring for YOUR OWN KIDS, you’re pedestaled as a saint”
What mass media do you have? Last years fathers day gift promotion was the book of how women are better at everything, the year before was the end of men. Maybe time will have a picture of a pig on it again to describe men. How often have you seen a mainstream magazine with a picture of a pig on it describing women? Where were all these supposed good women when it came time to stick up for men? The silence was deafening. Or was it the laughter?
———————
“In fact, “back in the day” it was quite customary for middle class and rich white males to have a “pretty trophy wife” at home who they treated with superficial “care” with the customary one or two children while they had a mistress (or more) in the poor side of town, pumping out his babies and pining for the scraps of tenderness between all the unrestricted rage and abuse.”
Was it really now? And how did you come to this conclusion? Has this knowlege been past down genetically from vagina to vagina? Or is it just intuition? Or do women just know? Tell us all about this custom that was so prevelant.
———————-
“The word “bastard” has been around a lonnnnng time, and there’s a reason for that, mostly the exploitation of vulnerable poor and uneducated women by the richer class of privileged men.”
I see. Woman = poor and blameless. Man = rich and privileged. More intuition I presume?
———————-
@Shaenon
“Ah, Pecunium. The only thing better is hearing Alfre Woodard read it:”
Poor lassie, never even helped into a carriage or over a mud puddle. Has anyone ever even met a woman whose given up her bus seat to a dirty man staggering onto the bus in work clothes? He just might be near exhausted from doing extremely difficult and dangerous work. Or do you just look away in revulsion?
———————–
@Kyrie
“Our lives don’t revolve around pleasing you or males in general.”
For equality, men should never do anything pleasing to females in general as well.
———————
Women like all of you here prattle on with fuckity, fuck garbage just like you’ve been told. You’re empowered now and so edgy. So independent and strong. As far as the destruction of marriage. Well, that’s a stated goal of feminism and it’s largely been accomplished. The gang at the top thanks you. Although I can’t say men wouldn’t have done the same if they were being rewarded to divorce women. There’s simply no reference in all of history, anywhere of men being rewarded for divorcing women. So I can’t say it wouldn’t happen.
CharlotteCollins : She is angry about the fact that she had to figure that out for herself. The idea that you can have it all is really hard to put into practice. Most of the working mothers I know are really struggling. It’s not easy. The whole scented candles thing is just a way of saying that we have embraced some pretty superficial values at the expense of taking care of our families.
No, I don’t think so. I think the, “you’ll be sorry you worthless excuse for a woman when you realise (too fucking late) that your career isn’t going to love you like a baby will, or the grandkids that child should be popping out for you, and you are wasting your life with a job and ruining it for the rest of us”, is pretty much exactly what she was trying to say.
Especially with the ” Fuck you, bitch. My daughters are coming for you. And millions of daughters just like mine. We see you, you superficial piece of trash. You have cost us our lives. For patchouli candles.
You will pay.
That’s not a complaint that she, “can’t have it all”, it’s a threat, that people who think women should have options have somehow done her so much wrong that they need to be punished, with violence.
(academics who fail to tow the line)
Dude, it’s, “Toe the line”, from the days of sail when seamen were mustered and had to be in order, hence putting their toes all on the same line of the deck.
Uncle Elmer: Moderation is key to good communication
Nope, the key to good communication is to get one’s point across.
I think the point peope are trying to make here is that your statement about the, “lady commenters” was fucking stupid.
Rutee, I think we’re both missing each others points. I agree that we could build more effciently. However, I was mocking the idea that some have that the world’s population could fit in TX, and that overpopulation is a myth. Those people are out there. But please, tell me I’m stupid some more.
After twenty or so years of observing and talking with our students, I think many people of all genders these days tend to believe they can have it all–and I don’t say they can’t, but it is very hard to have it all *at the same time.* So working full time, raising family, and going to school fulltime at the same is not very possible over the long run–but the impossible part is “at the same time.”
Also, I would like to report that I not only buy kitty litter but scented candles (just vanilla or linen because the others are too stinky). So, clearly, misandry.
And dog food. And cat food. And toys for dogs and cats (‘NIP!).
And nothing for men.
I sometimes think that what really drives MRAs into such a frothing rage is the indifference of women–hating somebody is an engagement with them, it’s an admission that they are important. But indifference? That’s even moar misandry.
My husband and I are in the process of toilet training our cats, so no more kitty litter! Yay!
About the idea that your resume can’t love you but your kids will…many people who don’t have kids themselves still have kids in their lives who love them. Mr C’s nephew used to hug me and tell me he loved me all the time when he was little. Most people who don’t have kids themselves have nieces or nephews, younger cousins, kids of friends, etc, in their lives. Most of us also have other adults who hug us and tell us that they love us.
Maybe if these people were more pleasant human beings they wouldn’t have to rely on the idea of children who have to love them because they’re their kids and put all their emotional eggs in that basket. If “have babies” is your only hedge against loneliness then that’s an indication of something that’s gone wrong in your life, not a sign that everyone else needs to have babies or they’ll be just as lonely.
Also, how do you “block” someone from quoting something you said in a public forum or on a public blog?
With an NDA, of course.
“Abhorrent”? My nonstop giggling thinks you mean HILARIOUS.
Also, if you don’t want to “hear” women swear in this comment thread, turn off your text-to-speech software. Or click to some other corner of the Internet, and I don’t know, watch some kittens or something.
OTOH, I think there is totally a market for a seasoning product called “Hint-O-Fucking.” It could be shelved next to the “I Can Totally Believe This Is Not Fucking Butter.”
And by “fuck off,” I mean die in the most horrendous way possible.
We don’t talk like MRAs here (even though the sentiment is totally understandable).
i’m a right fucking mess according to MRAs…i’ve been with my husband for 20years…but only married him 6 years ago.
i went to uni and got an Honours degree and then he financially supported me while i retrained to work with…women escaping domestic abuse. And then i supported him financially while he retrained as a physiotherapist…
and then, shock horror, before marriage was even on the horizon, we had a baby. After discussing it and it being Mr BigMomma who was the one who wanted the offspring more than me. and i was 33yrs old. And he got up through the night, changed nappies and fully participated in child rearing without expecting one single cookie for it. or a scented fucking candle.
And even after i was washed up at 35, having pushed a baby out, having gone back to work full time, having pussy whipped him into looking after the baby, he still thought marriage would be fun. So we got married and threw a massive fucking party.(which was most of the point really…and i got to dress in a hot pink corset and mini skirt with platform heels).
And then….quelle horreur, we decided to have another baby. and i was thirty fucking nine.
i guess i feel that as a straight cis woman who is married with 2 kids i fit the bill. but i’m fat,old,had my kids late,feminist,activist, graduate,married late so i’m also anathema.
life is fucking complicated, thank fuck.
@Fembot
Holy fuck. It’s almost like you’re a sentient human being, with individual wants and needs, and aren’t part of a hive mind at all! WTF?
Damn, Price is making me feel sorrier for him with each new post on the theme of “life is hopeless, give up, especially if you’re a girl.”
Life is full of boundless possibility and limitless options. That doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get everything you ever want, but it does mean that the world is packed with opportunities and possibilities and chances to contribute. It’s also full of surprises, which is why trying to plot out everything ahead of time is generally pointless.
I know this all sounds very cliche, but sheesh, you only get a short time on this earth. Why give up a quarter of the way in?
I got something different from the comments. If you read her other posts, it’s clear that Andie was on a career track and then decided that it would be really hard to combine mothering with working. There’s nothing really controversial about that. It IS hard. That’s probably why most developed nations offer paid maternity leave.
She is angry about the fact that she had to figure that out for herself. The idea that you can have it all is really hard to put into practice. Most of the working mothers I know are really struggling. It’s not easy. The whole scented candles thing is just a way of saying that we have embraced some pretty superficial values at the expense of taking care of our families.
What I don’t get is why she’s so upset. I mean, she learned that women shouldn’t do anything with their lives but have kids, and she had kids, but she’s apparently still angry. And not “I made some mistakes in my youth that I wish I’d been warned about” angry, but “fuck you bitch, my daughters are coming for you” and calling a nurse a “superficial piece of trash” angry.
Why? I’m not sure what she’s mad about or what would make her less mad.
And she railed against Big Government at some point in her rant, so I’m guessing she’s not a fan of paid parental leave.
Also, age 29 is “the end of everything possible”? MRAs get more depressing every day.
@Shaenon
Yeah it’s really depressing. A man commenting on The Spearhead a week or so ago said he didn’t believe women felt love, at all, ever. Don’t know if he meant it, or was just deep in self pitying mode, but it’s really sad how angry and closed off from reality these MRAs are. Paranoia doesn’t begin to describe it.
lot’s of spearheaders say that, so probably, yeah
Criminy! Don’t you get tired of being wrong about everything?
All property of the woman upon marriage became the property of the husband. This included the clothes on her back. Women could not acquire property as married women. If they worked their wages were paid to their husband. It remained his property even if he chose to put her away for failing to produce the proper human resources.
In the US this remained the law until the womens property rights act of 1848.
@Nanasha
For your first post: A-fucking-men and thank you.
Overall:
Why is a woman’s interest in something OTHER than kids treated as something superficial and worthless? I’ve had some fucking AMAZING female teachers in my life. They’ve inspired me to be the person I am today and are people I am going to remember the names of for the rest of my life. If some of them didn’t have kids, does that make their contribution to others worthless? Really?
One would hope that a mother could inspire her kids to be awesome people. That would rock. Saying that women only have value as mothers is saying that a woman’s capability to inspire is limited by DNA.
The limitations inflicted on women by this attitude: that a woman’s contribution is only measurable by the kids she has, is detrimental.
holy shit, owlslave, i know your grasp of history is basically fucked, but don’t your ancient ass encyclopedias mention henry the viii?
Btw, ragefromthebasement is me when I use my cell phone. Somehow I logged in and can’t log out, because my female brain is so puny. I could ask my husband for help but he is sick to death of hearing about MRAs. So fembot and rage are one. Just want to be honest with y’all.
Damn Owly, look up reading comprehension somewhere, it’s a real useful concept to understand.
Because “don’t revolve” = “never” obviously.
@Sharculese
Aaand now I have Homer’s Henry the VIII song stuck in my head. Cheers for that