A talented journalist, playwright and activist died last weekend in a car crash shortly after graduating from Yale. Marina Keegan was 22. Before she died, she wrote an essay for the Yale Daily News urging her classmates to keep alive the sense of possibility they brought with them when they first arrived at college:
We’re so young. We’re so young. We’re twenty-two years old. We have so much time. There’s this sentiment I sometimes sense, creeping in our collective conscious as we lay alone after a party, or pack up our books when we give in and go out – that it is somehow too late. That others are somehow ahead. More accomplished, more specialized. More on the path to somehow saving the world, somehow creating or inventing or improving. …
What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. … We’re so young. We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.
Over on the Spearhead, W.F. Price notes her death, and quotes these words, and more, from her essay. His point? That she was wrong.
By the time you hit 25 or so – just three years out of college – your life is pretty much set, he argues, and “your future can be fairly well predicted by your life at that point.” And this apparently goes double for women. Price titles his post: “After 25, Women Are Just Wasting Time.”
And why is that? Because if they’re not married to a good earner by then, or at least with the guy they plan to settle down with, they’re fucked. While an “average girl,” as Price puts it, should have snagged her future husband by age 21, non-average college girls buy themselves only a few more years.
As Price explains it:
Four years of college buys women precious little time in the mating market. … I’d guess … about exactly as much time as it takes for them to complete it, because their pool of future mates tends to go through the same process … That’s to say that she has her best shot to land a good match up to perhaps 25.
There are a few, well, let’s just call them plot holes in Price’s story here, but let’s hear him out:
The problem with young women today is that they internalize this “anything is possible” attitude and don’t lose it until it really is too late for many of them. They think they can do better at 30 than at 22, which, in most cases, is simply wrong. Some might say that family and men are not a priority for these girls, but women for whom this is really true throughout life are an insignificant minority. In fact, most women are holding out precisely because they think they can get a better man later, perhaps when they have a better job and work with more powerful men.
But these girls are not going to change fundamentally, and in their early 20s are at the peak of their beauty while still retaining an innocent charm. Nothing about their looks or personality is going to make them more appealing at 30 than at 22, and the men available to them are not going to get any better, either….
The point is that neither men nor women change fundamentally past a certain point, and the same guys young women have available in their early 20s are generally the same guys that will be available at 30, only they will be older and, due to marriage, there will be far fewer of them.
Yep, we’re back to the hoary old story of the bad boy cock carousel once again. Better grab hold of a good hearted beta while the getting is good, ladies – because by the time you finish off your slutty dalliances with the bad boy alphas your looks will be gone and no man (alpha or beta) will want to have anything to do with you.
Price continues, cranking the melodrama up to eleven:
Time tends to accelerate past a certain age, and the 25-year old woman soon finds herself 30, and then 35, and at that point she’s got precious little of it left. Perhaps at 22 she was laughing about the “comical” notion that it could ever be too late, but after a certain point it is no longer comedy, but tragedy, and her laughter turns to tears.
Now, none of this is original, and none of it is true. What’s interesting is just how badly misogynistic manospherians want it to be true. They must, because they tell this same story to themselves over and over and over, like small children requesting their parents to read their favorite bedtime story “again!” They (the misogynists, not the children) love the idea that the women who turned them down – or who, at the very least, rejected their brand of patronizing patriarchy – will get their comeuppance in the end, the more humiliating, the better.
Price at least pretends to care about the women he’s trying to scare straight (into marriage). But some of the commenters on his site can’t be bothered to contain their glee at the notion of spurned thirtysomething women collapsing into tears.
The Contrarian Expatriate turns on the sarcasm:
But why shouldn’t women feel this way? Women “can have it all.” They are “fabulous.” Women rule. Women first. Women are 20 when they’re 30, and 30 when their 40. Women, women, women.
Screech, crash, halt! (Then comes reality when the cuteness wears off and the pounds set in….).
Eximio shares a “shit that never happened” story of a high school reunion he went to:
[M]en do age better than women. I looked around at the women and they all just looked old to me. I could not imagine myself with any of them. They had lost whatever charm they had and I found attractive the last time I had seen them. Almost all of the men that were there with their spouses were with younger women. …
As for the women specifically, while they all seemed old, I noted that the happiest of the lot talked about their family. Some of them were married, some of them divorced, but in both cases they talked about their kids. They were clearly the most fulfilled. Many of the other women than I knew had pursued consuming careers were not at the reunion. Those that were, and who did not have children, had a whiff of pain on their faces. They seemed to be looking around and suddenly forced to face the consequences of their choices.
Or maybe they noticed that a patronizing douche was giving them the once-over, and shot him a dirty look.
Ode apparently finds it all so hilarious he is unable to maintain his balance:
The problem with college today is that it teaches a woman that she has an IQ of 115 so naturally she spends her time chasing after men who she perceives to be her “equal”, the top 15% of the men within society. Or to put it another way, a college educated woman thinks she’s better than 85% of everybody else.
Sorry honey the only thing your degree in liberal arts or communications tells me is that you have IQ above 100. Which means you’re better than the bottom 50% of society. No other conclusions can be made. Of course most women will never understand this. They will spend the rest of their bitter lives believing the reason why they couldn’t get Mr. Right is because men are afraid of a strong and smart women.
Falls over laughing!
Rmaxd offers a somewhat different explanation for Marina Keegan’s optimism; I’m not quite sure I even understand it.
What Mira [sic] is expressing, her not needing a man, that precisely because she doesnt need a man she can get everything she wants, well into her 50′s …
She’s accepted her feminist brainwashed idiocy & tried to turn it into a social norm
Her fantasy entails her getting an education, & competing in cut-throat environments designed for men … which require a male intolerance for anything not rational or logic
All the while her fantasy involves a child as an accessory & strong alpha thug, who’ll rescue her instead of pumping & dumping her to kingdom come …
Her vagina also gives her magical powers to screw over sex hungry beta’s without game, as a backup plan, if the jamaican thugs from her sex tourism never get round to playing captain save-a hoe, when she hits 30 …
Beta’s, a deranged feminists insurance policy, for when her vagina no longer cashes cheques she cant write …
Our old pal JeremiahMRA (a.k.a. Things Are Bad) suggests, in a series of comments, that we should push the whole timetable up a few years, forcing girls to get married to whomever their fathers say shortly after puberty. No, really, that’s his actual argument:
Honestly women shouldn’t be going to college at all. It’s a complete waste and takes away from people who can actually get something from education: men. The only reason they do it is to inflate their egos….
[I]t’s more accurate that after puberty, women are just wasting time. Wasting time slutting around, going to school, working, when they should be getting married to whomever their fathers say and having children, which is really all women are good at.
Today women choose mates based solely on lust and greed. Women don’t love, the only thing they love is getting fucked hard and being provided for by a man or the government. This is why in any sane (patriarchal) society a girl’s father decides who she is to marry.
Lovely.
Most of these comments got dozens of upvotes, with only a handful of downvotes. Jeremiah’s comments, a bit reactionary even for The Spearhead, got more than a few downvotes, but still only a fraction as many as the upvotes they got. Only Rmaxd got more downvotes than up, perhaps because his comments made no fucking sense.
So nice that The Spearheaders have taken the time from their day to honor the memory of a promising writer whose life was cut short.
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This post contains some:
Fucking Christ! Not every woman is interested in having children. Or getting married. And here’s a shocker – some women aren’t interested in men. Like OMG!
I didn’t start to come into my own until I was in my early 30’s. This was after I got divorced from my soul-sucking ex-husband. I returned to school and earned a Masters in Psychology (research), took up writing and got a couple of short stories published, got two great jobs, one with a Contract Research Organization, and later one with a hospital as the Director of Quality Improvement where I am to this day. I am ten times happier now than I ever was in my 20’s. I never wanted children. At all. Blame it on my fucked up cult upbringing, but I just wasn’t interested in having them.
I couldn’t give a shit about scented candles. I like incense and sage smudge sticks during spring cleaning.
I keep busy with my freethinkers group and riding my motorcycle (which I perform the maintenance on) and my other hobbies. Yes I have two cats but they’re two really awesome cats.
Now, if a genie gave me two choices: To go back to age 20 and marry some misogynistic douchebag who believes I’m less of a person than he is and only good for having babies, or age 20 years overnight, I’d take aging 20 years overnight.
Asshole motherfuckers.
How are his daughters going to “come for us” if they’re supposed to devote their lives to nothing but making babies? Maybe their babies will grow up to come for us? And do what?
And the only job women do is making scented candles? Isn’t he responding to a woman who identified herself as a nurse? Is this brand-new trend of women working as nurses destroying society?
So many questions. Oh, well, back to raping my resume.
Oh, just when I think the spearhead cannot get more disgusting, it just proves me wrong.
You hit the nail on the head, with the bed time story thing
Ok, so, as of last Saturday I am officially wasting my time? Noted, I guess.
As to the people asking how such a talented young woman could think she wasn’t good enough (to shorten the questions up a bit):
Easy. There’s SO MUCH out there telling young people all the ways they Did It Rong, or aren’t good enough. Criticisms of choice of major, etc. Not to mention graduating into a gawdawful economy.
Anecdote: I just turned 25 this past weekend. I went to college right out of high school. A decent enough state school (Northern Illinois U), I ended up studying German and International Studies. I planned to work for either the State Department, or possibly a multinational corp. I got good grades easily. Getting an A in any German class I took? Breeze. A’s in Russian too, when I took it. A’s in my political science classes, A’s and B’s in my gen eds. I was fairly confident I’d get a good job within a year of graduating, even with a much-disparaged Liberal Arts BA. I had a plan to just work whatever job I could, pay things off, and look for Grown Up Work. Well, halfway through my junior year, I had to drop out. My FAFSA got messed up cause my mother didn’t sign something right and I was still under 23. That was Fall 07. I was DEVASTATED. I tried and tried to find ways to go back for about a year after it, then I gave up and just sort of worked and made ends meet. Pizza deliverer, hostess at a sports bar, sushi deliverer. Then I finally transferred to go back at UW-Madison this past fall. I didn’t go this spring again- money problems, again. I’m a waitress and a house-un-wife. Most of the time I know I’m a smart person. But I constantly feel like I’ll never amount to more than this, and I’m only 3 years older than this girl was. Going to school is hard and expensive, and what if all I’m really suited for are these garbage food service jobs and cleaning up after my boyfriend? And there’s all the data on how hard it is and how behind you get with gaps in your education, and starting your Career-with-a-capital later in your life than your early 20s.
This is the saddest display of MRA loserhood I’ve seen to date on Manboobz. Congratulations. You’ve outdone yourselves, archdouches.
FoSF, what data about getting left behind? I didn’t start my career until I was in my late 20’s. I’m pretty sure I’ll change careers again before I retire. I know it’s just ancedata, but i know very few people who do the same thing now that they did when they were 22.
Price said:
One, you had a hard time because women are not that stupid and a green card is worth putting up with your lame ass and two, a water buffalo? What?
okay, I am adding absolutely nothing to the conversation here, oops but, I’ve read the original post several times this evening and I still can’t get over how the people who wrote it went from ‘young person, very talented, tragically killed’ to… well, okay, I guess they really can go from *anything* to ‘and therefore women suck’ but… wow.
Also, re that quote Discordia quoted (and found! So I didn’t have to! Thankyou!). Just…. what?
(Also: egg donor, here, and no intention of being a mother, ever. Nope, my kids may never put their arms around me, but they will be raised by – hopefully – two people who love them very much, and who they will put their arms around. I have no concerns about the respective genders of those people, either, although I suspect one other woman has to be involved somewhere, if only because I had to have my cycle matched to someone’s cycle).
And if rewarding careers are so meaningless, then why are so many men…. ah never mind.
Hellkell- There have been series of studies conducted on how the recession is affecting people roughly my age, particularly how we’ll have a harder time progressing in our careers, and how our earning potential will be slashed. It’s usually attributed to getting a late start on your career (ie, graduating and not finding your first job for a few years or more, or dropping out like I did and taking forever to go back). I mean, on the one hand I know that things typically work out for most people and I’ll probably be ok, if I can only get my ass through school, but on the other hand, I’m just like “well, fuck. They haven’t worked out yet.”
I know what Filet feels like-I am in a very successful career and have a great life but I also worry that I am not doing better because I never did finish that degree nor have I done some other things in life.
Of course since I never married or had kids, according to these twizzlerheads I am a total failure. *rolls eyes*
I suggest that we all light a scented candle tonight in honor of the asshole who’s apparently training his daughters to be secret candle-burning-cat-lady-with-good-job assassins.
CassandraSays- There’s one in my bathroom I’ll light post haste.
Princessbonbon- yeah, I dunno. It just feels really easy to be hopeless about it all. All I do is wait tables in kind of mediocre bar (I’m the youngest on staff, the patrons could mostly be my parents, tips are ok but not fantastic, staff in-fighting is getting stupid.) I can’t seem to break into anything outside of the food service, like an office or anything. And here I am, like, 7/8 of the way to my BA, and I just still cannot seem to get over that hump. I’m all to familiar with thinking I haven’t done enough, well enough.
The level of anger about scented candles reminds me of NWO’s rage fit about kitty litter. MRAs pick the weirdest things to get mad about.
Anything that women like, and buy with the money they made working at jobs that should rightfully have gone to a man, is evil. Ban bubble bath, shampoo, and pears!*
*Ie, the stuff I bought today.
Wait, NWO had a rage fit over kitty litter? o_0 I know I’m going to regret asking this, but why?
My daughters are being raised to think they are people in their own right, with dreams and ambitions that have nothing to do with weather or not they want children. I have told them both they will make that decision when they feel like it, and I am not willing to pester them about kids ever.
FoSF, and Princess Bonbon, I get that way too sometimes. Some days at work I know I don’t want to be doing what I’m doing forever, but then I don’t know what else I want to do when I grow up. I think we all worry that we’re not doing enough or what we might be missing out on.
Lady Zombie, NWO had his fit over kitty litter because he thinks that women only own cats instead of donating to charities that help men.
This. A lot.
And also this:
Isn’t the MRM baaaaaaasically about judging women on their fuckability, which goes away at 25? Case study in pojection, do it.
Also, when I was reading “boasting as if your CV was tattooed on your face” all I could think of was “cunt vagina”, and then I decided I really, really hoped he meant cunt vagina, because I would LOVE to see someone with a cunt vagina tattooed on their face.
I just let through a comment from jkaupp8 defending Price’s piece; scroll up or click here:
http://manboobz.com/2012/05/31/the-spearheads-w-f-price-uses-the-death-of-22-year-old-marina-keegan-to-argue-that-after-25-women-are-just-wasting-their-time/comment-page-2/#comment-159686
He seems to have read an altogether different post than everyone here (and everyone over on the spearhead) read. jk, did you also not notice the title Price gave his piece?
Jkaupp: yes, Price is a noted feminist supporter, of course. Dude, if it’s on The Spearhead, it’s a given that it’s anti-woman.
OH DEAR GOD I READ THE COMMENTS!
From the Spearhead:
There is a person in the world who actually thinks this.
There is a rather hilaritragic line about achieving a wife.
Hmm…
Irony 1
Irony 2
Irony 3
Irony 4
Irony 5
Irony 6
Irony 7
Irony 8
Irony 9
Irony 10
Irony 11
Irony 12
Oh dear… My philosophy describes in great detail the corrosive nature of people poisoned by revenge and resentment. I can barely believe such monsters exist.
… Wait, what?
DOES NOT PARSE DOES NOT PARSE ABORT ABORT ABORT
Thanks for making light of rape, you frakker. On top of your incomprehensible sentence.
Is their rhetoric about women taking men to the cleaners so pervasive that they see money that women earned through the honest sweat of their brows (so to speak) as also having been stolen from men?
Jesus!
Falconer – I assume the logic is that if a woman was at home with her baby, where she belongs, then a man could have her job, and anyway she probably only got it because of affirmative action or just general misandry. So yes, any money a woman makes is tainted.