A talented journalist, playwright and activist died last weekend in a car crash shortly after graduating from Yale. Marina Keegan was 22. Before she died, she wrote an essay for the Yale Daily News urging her classmates to keep alive the sense of possibility they brought with them when they first arrived at college:
We’re so young. We’re so young. We’re twenty-two years old. We have so much time. There’s this sentiment I sometimes sense, creeping in our collective conscious as we lay alone after a party, or pack up our books when we give in and go out – that it is somehow too late. That others are somehow ahead. More accomplished, more specialized. More on the path to somehow saving the world, somehow creating or inventing or improving. …
What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. … We’re so young. We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.
Over on the Spearhead, W.F. Price notes her death, and quotes these words, and more, from her essay. His point? That she was wrong.
By the time you hit 25 or so – just three years out of college – your life is pretty much set, he argues, and “your future can be fairly well predicted by your life at that point.” And this apparently goes double for women. Price titles his post: “After 25, Women Are Just Wasting Time.”
And why is that? Because if they’re not married to a good earner by then, or at least with the guy they plan to settle down with, they’re fucked. While an “average girl,” as Price puts it, should have snagged her future husband by age 21, non-average college girls buy themselves only a few more years.
As Price explains it:
Four years of college buys women precious little time in the mating market. … I’d guess … about exactly as much time as it takes for them to complete it, because their pool of future mates tends to go through the same process … That’s to say that she has her best shot to land a good match up to perhaps 25.
There are a few, well, let’s just call them plot holes in Price’s story here, but let’s hear him out:
The problem with young women today is that they internalize this “anything is possible” attitude and don’t lose it until it really is too late for many of them. They think they can do better at 30 than at 22, which, in most cases, is simply wrong. Some might say that family and men are not a priority for these girls, but women for whom this is really true throughout life are an insignificant minority. In fact, most women are holding out precisely because they think they can get a better man later, perhaps when they have a better job and work with more powerful men.
But these girls are not going to change fundamentally, and in their early 20s are at the peak of their beauty while still retaining an innocent charm. Nothing about their looks or personality is going to make them more appealing at 30 than at 22, and the men available to them are not going to get any better, either….
The point is that neither men nor women change fundamentally past a certain point, and the same guys young women have available in their early 20s are generally the same guys that will be available at 30, only they will be older and, due to marriage, there will be far fewer of them.
Yep, we’re back to the hoary old story of the bad boy cock carousel once again. Better grab hold of a good hearted beta while the getting is good, ladies – because by the time you finish off your slutty dalliances with the bad boy alphas your looks will be gone and no man (alpha or beta) will want to have anything to do with you.
Price continues, cranking the melodrama up to eleven:
Time tends to accelerate past a certain age, and the 25-year old woman soon finds herself 30, and then 35, and at that point she’s got precious little of it left. Perhaps at 22 she was laughing about the “comical” notion that it could ever be too late, but after a certain point it is no longer comedy, but tragedy, and her laughter turns to tears.
Now, none of this is original, and none of it is true. What’s interesting is just how badly misogynistic manospherians want it to be true. They must, because they tell this same story to themselves over and over and over, like small children requesting their parents to read their favorite bedtime story “again!” They (the misogynists, not the children) love the idea that the women who turned them down – or who, at the very least, rejected their brand of patronizing patriarchy – will get their comeuppance in the end, the more humiliating, the better.
Price at least pretends to care about the women he’s trying to scare straight (into marriage). But some of the commenters on his site can’t be bothered to contain their glee at the notion of spurned thirtysomething women collapsing into tears.
The Contrarian Expatriate turns on the sarcasm:
But why shouldn’t women feel this way? Women “can have it all.” They are “fabulous.” Women rule. Women first. Women are 20 when they’re 30, and 30 when their 40. Women, women, women.
Screech, crash, halt! (Then comes reality when the cuteness wears off and the pounds set in….).
Eximio shares a “shit that never happened” story of a high school reunion he went to:
[M]en do age better than women. I looked around at the women and they all just looked old to me. I could not imagine myself with any of them. They had lost whatever charm they had and I found attractive the last time I had seen them. Almost all of the men that were there with their spouses were with younger women. …
As for the women specifically, while they all seemed old, I noted that the happiest of the lot talked about their family. Some of them were married, some of them divorced, but in both cases they talked about their kids. They were clearly the most fulfilled. Many of the other women than I knew had pursued consuming careers were not at the reunion. Those that were, and who did not have children, had a whiff of pain on their faces. They seemed to be looking around and suddenly forced to face the consequences of their choices.
Or maybe they noticed that a patronizing douche was giving them the once-over, and shot him a dirty look.
Ode apparently finds it all so hilarious he is unable to maintain his balance:
The problem with college today is that it teaches a woman that she has an IQ of 115 so naturally she spends her time chasing after men who she perceives to be her “equal”, the top 15% of the men within society. Or to put it another way, a college educated woman thinks she’s better than 85% of everybody else.
Sorry honey the only thing your degree in liberal arts or communications tells me is that you have IQ above 100. Which means you’re better than the bottom 50% of society. No other conclusions can be made. Of course most women will never understand this. They will spend the rest of their bitter lives believing the reason why they couldn’t get Mr. Right is because men are afraid of a strong and smart women.
Falls over laughing!
Rmaxd offers a somewhat different explanation for Marina Keegan’s optimism; I’m not quite sure I even understand it.
What Mira [sic] is expressing, her not needing a man, that precisely because she doesnt need a man she can get everything she wants, well into her 50′s …
She’s accepted her feminist brainwashed idiocy & tried to turn it into a social norm
Her fantasy entails her getting an education, & competing in cut-throat environments designed for men … which require a male intolerance for anything not rational or logic
All the while her fantasy involves a child as an accessory & strong alpha thug, who’ll rescue her instead of pumping & dumping her to kingdom come …
Her vagina also gives her magical powers to screw over sex hungry beta’s without game, as a backup plan, if the jamaican thugs from her sex tourism never get round to playing captain save-a hoe, when she hits 30 …
Beta’s, a deranged feminists insurance policy, for when her vagina no longer cashes cheques she cant write …
Our old pal JeremiahMRA (a.k.a. Things Are Bad) suggests, in a series of comments, that we should push the whole timetable up a few years, forcing girls to get married to whomever their fathers say shortly after puberty. No, really, that’s his actual argument:
Honestly women shouldn’t be going to college at all. It’s a complete waste and takes away from people who can actually get something from education: men. The only reason they do it is to inflate their egos….
[I]t’s more accurate that after puberty, women are just wasting time. Wasting time slutting around, going to school, working, when they should be getting married to whomever their fathers say and having children, which is really all women are good at.
Today women choose mates based solely on lust and greed. Women don’t love, the only thing they love is getting fucked hard and being provided for by a man or the government. This is why in any sane (patriarchal) society a girl’s father decides who she is to marry.
Lovely.
Most of these comments got dozens of upvotes, with only a handful of downvotes. Jeremiah’s comments, a bit reactionary even for The Spearhead, got more than a few downvotes, but still only a fraction as many as the upvotes they got. Only Rmaxd got more downvotes than up, perhaps because his comments made no fucking sense.
So nice that The Spearheaders have taken the time from their day to honor the memory of a promising writer whose life was cut short.
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This post contains some:
WF Price is the biggest shitstain in the manosphere. Lots of people get married, divorced, and then manage not to become sociopathic mysogynists. From what I’ve read, he sounds like an asshole, and i would be suprised if his children didn’t groan every time they had to spend time with him. I know I hated visiting my dad after my parents divorced, and I pretty much stoppped seeing him as soon as I was old enough. All he did was make us clean his house while he yelled at us and talked about how worthless our mother was. But I guess if he wanted to he could claim “parental alienation.” To this day he can’t admit what a prick he was, though today he is almost “nice” with the help of pharmaceuticals. I see a lot of similarities between Price and my own dad.
I… I kinda want this job.
Hi Anthony – if that really was Price’s intention it still sounds like envy of the young – thinking he can foretell their future and gloating over what he anticipates as their future regrets – it’s pissing on someone’s parade.
I know plenty of people whose divorces made them better people – because they realized that their first marriage wasn’t working out and decided that the healthiest option would be to end it quickly and cleanly and have another go with someone else who might be more suitable. And second time round it often worked because of the lessons they learned from the first-time disaster.
But this scenario requires a modicum of self-awareness as an absolute minimum, and ideally a truckload.
ah jeez…Those comments to you were just ridiculous! Gotta love how they just KNOW what women want and need….nope if a woman says she loves being a nurse and its fullfillign to her..its ARGLEBARGLE no you were just brainwashed by feminists! I am having kids and am married, but I am also fullfilled by doing volunteer work, writing, doing magic, and talking about writing about film and theater…there is much more to me then being a wife and mother, and I honestly think most women feel this way. It is a really sad world view in my opinion that if you aren’t married or have kids then your life is a waste…nothing could be further from the truth.
BTW That is such BS that single 40 year old women are crying messes…one of my really good friends is 42 and has never been married or had kids and IS happier because of it!
Even apart from the tragedy, it kind of breaks my heart that someone can be a 22 year old Yale grad
MollyRen – It was fun! It wasn’t the sexy kind of inflatable people, it was actually for a company that makes them to fill in the background of crowd shots. (So a very Hollywood-specific industry.)
I worked on a commercial set in a stadium, where the production company put live extras in the first few rows and rented our people to fill up the stadium. I’m sure it looked fine in the final edit but it was kind of ridiculous to see in person.
Also ridiculous: the commercial was supposed to air in the Christmas season, so everything had to be fake-winter even though it was a blazing hot summer day in inland southern California. Those poor extras were dying in big puffy coats in 100-degree weather.
…And then I didn’t get married and have kids so none of that matters.
ARGH, commenting problems, sorry.
…a 22 year old Yale graduate with such a list of accomplishments and still feel the need to reassure herself and others like her that they aren’t complete failures for not having done better, sooner? What kind of impossible standards do some young people have for themselves that this (beautifully written but kind of incomprehensible to me) article struck such a chord?
I had a 42-year-old fuckbuddy when I was 25 – she was already separated from her husband and waiting for the divorce to come through, after which she returned to her native country. So she made it clear that she was only using me as a human sex toy and that there was no chance of any long-term romance.
This arrangement wouldn’t suit me now, but by God it did then! And I suspect the kind of people who populate the Spearhead would be deeply, desperately jealous.
I’m 23, and by 30 I except and plan to be quite a different from the woman I am today. Some aspect are unforeseeable, some others I’m actively working on.
You’ve only got two years before everything’s set in stone, though.
They really can’t conceive of women as anything besides hovering reproductive systems, can they?
Apparently women are unqualified for literally every job.
I can’t imagine too many MRAs becoming midwives.
There are male midwives )which isn’t as linguistically mad as that sounds, as the ‘mid’ part actually means ‘with’, i.e. the person who helps the wife), but they’re in a tiny minority and for all sorts of social and cultural reasons I can’t see that changing significantly.
yeah these people literally seem to HATE women..its not benevolent sexism, or even chauvinism……you would think they would respect a woman that was doing nursing or teaching or being a X ray tech, those are jobs that women are considered good at in our sexist society! but nope female nurses and teachers and the like must have gotten those jobs by affermative actiion and welfare!
How does one get to the point where they hate women this much…where just hearing that a woman is happy really gets them angry and hateful
ALLEGED WOMAN
*laughs tea up nose*
Perhaps they’re suspicious because they believe real women are so all-round incompetent as to be incapable of operating computers.
Failed (or no) relationships and a desperate lack of self-awareness, I reckon.
When Markymark was extolling that feeble list of “insults for women” as the greatest adornment to wit since S.J. Perelman passed away and inviting additions to the lexicon from his adoring readers, one of them added:
I suggest the reaction is more likely to be bemusement than anger. Not least because it’s the kind of “insult” that reveals infinitely more about the mentality and limited worldview of the person making it than anything useful about the intended target.
Not that there would be anything wrong with that!
(Though updating it to ‘angsty young adult’ or something.)
I think this bit explains their assumption that everyone else is experiencing the same arrested development that they are:
It also explains the tragic condition of their life.
Male supremacists are the lowest. Of anything. Ever.
You know what’s a terrifying thought?
Marrying, and staying with for the rest of my life, the kind of guy I dated when I was 20.
(I’m not saying those guys were terrible, but unless they changed a whole lot themselves and in perfectly compatible ways, they wouldn’t be too happy with me now either.)
My guess? If you had the chance to ask her, she would say that what you see as a list of accomplishments is merely a list of drafts and first attempts on her way to true accomplishments.
It’s about Potential. She, and those she was speaking to, have spent their whole lives being great at what they do and being told how much Potential they have. They get to someplace like Yale and they see people already accomplishing phenomenal things, and they wonder if they’re falling short of this amazing Potential they supposedly have.
I’m not nearly in her (or their) league, but I know that Potential can be quite a burden.
It doesn’t even surprising me in the slightest anymore the depths to which mras will sink. Celebrating the death of a young woman, saying women are useless non-people who only exist for men to fuck-same shit, different day.
This reminds me of a response Rowdy Reviewer had to people with this kind of thinking: “Sarah Michelle Geller and the women from Friends are all over 30 and I’d gladly do any of them so blow it out your ass!”
Re: Towgunner’s response to Cliff, etc.
I think a lot of these MRAs are rabidly jealous of women. Not only are they angry about wanting women more than women want them, but they are insanely jealous of the amount of love, concern, care, and compassion some women are fortunate enough to receive.
These MRAs wish they could be housewives, and that someone, anyone, would ever love them enough to pay their bills and give two shits about their wellbeing. Of course, nobody does, but not because they’re men. It’s because they’re ASSHOLES.
They don’t understand the nature of love. Women give love too, they’re aren’t just recipients. But since they’ve never felt a woman’s love, they come to the conclusion that it simply doesn’t exist. It’s a lost easier than just realizing the truth, that they’re simply not deserving of love, from anyone.