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No, women aren’t better than men. But the guys at A Voice for Men are doing their best to make it seem that way.

Putting women on pedestals: Not good feminism.

Roger Ebert recently wrote a well-intentioned but misguided faux-feminist blog post setting forth the thesis that “Women are better than men.” Here’s the gist of it, from his opening paragraph:

Women are nicer than men. There are exceptions. Most people of both sexes are probably fairly nice, given the nature of their upbringing and opportunities. But in terms of their lifelong natures, women are kinder, more empathetic, more generous. And the sooner more of them take positions of power, the better our chances as a species.

Here’s how to respond appropriately to this sort of argument, courtesy of Jill at Feministe:

I love me some Roger Ebert, but this is a big piece of crap. His point basically comes down to, “Women are nurturing and wonderful and non-violent, men are competitive and want to see boobs, because Evolution.” …  Most people are capable of great kindness; most people are capable of being total assholes. The degree to which any of us displays any of these traits depends largely on circumstance and partly on individual personality and temperament. Those things are certainly influenced by gender, but our gender does not in fact hard-wire us to be nice or awful.

Here’s how to respond inappropriately to this sort of argument, courtesy of John the Other at A Voice for Men:

[Y]es, it’s another one of those articles. Men are bad, women are good, men are worse, women are better, men are the worst thing ever, and women are just the best, squee!!! …

Ebert, in his attempt to ingratiate himself to a mostly female audience has done what countless other approval seeking men have done. Simply, to metaphorically prostrate himself – declaring – look, I’m a good man, not like those other bad men, you see how I heap scorn on them and flatter you? Approve of me!…

Ebert’s male-abasing and false esteem is a tired and monotonous repetition of standard gender ideology.

Sing along with me, you all know the words!

Women are better then men!

Boom boom boom!

They do everything better than them!

Boom boom boom!

 

Ladies are generally nicer!

Quack quack quack!

Their thoughts and feelings are higher!

Quack quack quack!

 

Girls and women are smarter!

Bing! Bang! Smash!

To keep up, men must try harder!

Clang! Bang! Bash!

 

Well, there’s a thoughtful argument.

Naturally, the commenters at AVfM are happy to join in the fun.

Shrek6 trots out the old “we hunted the mammoth” argument:

[E]verything on this earth from the knickers these women wear on their fat buts, all the way through to just about every single thing they touch in their day, up to and including homes, buildings, cars, trains, rockets, and the food they stuff down their throats, has all been either invented or produced by those useless ‘less than’ human, men. What a waste of space those men are!

Yep, I can feel a man strike coming on.

If all the men and boys in this world pulled the pin and sat on their buts for a month, the world would come to a grinding halt and anarchy would reign. All the women would be seen crying, screeching at men with gnashing teeth. Then they would eventually come begging.

Yep, that day is coming to these over indulged women. That day is coming!

Andybob, meanwhile, offers this analysis of what he sees as the gender enemy:

There are four main categories of women:

1) Women who care about the men in their lives, but never make the connection that their naked misandry contributes to the misery of these men. Most of those women who whooped and cackled when RegisterHer lifer, Sharon Osborne, expressed delight when an innocent man was genitally mutilated belong in this category. They would not have cackled quite so much if someone had brutalised their sons. Other women’s sons? No problem. It has ever been thus: white feather campaign in WWI.

2) Women who may pay lip service to caring about the men in their lives, but in reality, see them in the same way they see all other men – as utility objects to be manipulated and exploited. Such women don’t think of the men in their lives at all, except when they want something from them.

3) Feminists. These range from the mild (man-hating bigots), to the radical (man-hating bigots who advocate genocide and eugenics).

4) Women MRAs. These are rare women (I’ve never seen one, even in captivity), who regard men as actual people with collective and innate value. I can count them on two hands with fingers to spare.

Men have been struggling for many decades now with nary a peep from women. There is a reason for this.

They don’t care.

Feminism has provided today’s pampered princesses with the privilege-stuffed, consequence-free Nirvana that they believe they’re entitled to. Do you really think they can be swayed with reason and logic? Have you ever tried to discuss men’s rights with women? They will show concern for some imaginary, hypothetical female from some Third World country before they give two shits about the son, brother or friend standing in front of them. …

We are in a battle against a powerful, well-financed and establishment-supported entity which has succeeded in stealing our rights in every sphere. This has been done with the silent collusion of vast numbers of women. As such, a few “derogatory remarks” are the least they deserve.

Guys, I hate to have to tell you this, but you’re sort of making it look like Ebert might have a point.

Happily, I know that you all are statistical outliers, and that your raving misogyny (while it may reflect views common amongst AVFM readers, as evidenced by the upvotes those comments got) doesn’t reflect the views of most men. Heck, even some Men’s Rights Redditors are getting sick of your bullshit.

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Pecunium
12 years ago

Hellkell: It’s also cute how he clearly can’t read and see exactly what the problem with Chris was.

It’s not that he can’t read, it’s that he chooses not to. It’s much easier to make pronouncements about what was said, and then take them apart. He gets to build the strawmen, and knock the stuffing out of them; or he could if he were clever enough to build a strawman. What he does instead is go off on a tangent, and pretend that his logic is unassailable.

Given that his premises are based on a conspiracy theory, the last is, of course, not really true.

That the summa of his comments, and one presumes the majority of his readership, is us.

Pecunium
12 years ago

I, of course, wasted my day taking an out of town guest to coffee, and around the streets of Manhattan, a trip to MOMA (where I saw three Van Goghs, including Starry Night, which isn’t as good as “Night on the Rhone”, or Olive Trees; which I also saw today).

That’s because I am a poor lackey (never mind my being one of the most prolific commenters), and pathetic excuse for a Mangina.

I abase myself before those who are more loyal than I.

Ponkz
Ponkz
12 years ago

Pecunium – I’m actually visiting New York City in November for my 30th birthday and MOMA is top of my places to visit, seeing as I’m such an art geek! I cannot visit London without at least a flying visit to the Tate – last year I figured I’d be able to see the Tacita Dean installation in the morning and have plenty of time to travel back to Camberwell for my friend’s wedding in the afternoon. Yeah, I’m nerdy about art.

Can’t wait to art geek it up around New York!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

@elodieunderglass — “My (British) SO believes that Obama, considered WILDLY!RADICAL! by the American right wing, would be considered right-of-centrist by UK standards.” — that Obama is way too centrist is a common complaint among liberals here too, but with the other option being Mr. no-abortion Romney….yeah, the lesser of two evils yet again

@shadow — yeah I realize Kohlberg is full of issues, I’d brought it up because the Heinz question makes little sense under modern medical systems

@darksidecat — oh the filler! I actually watched that entire year of filler somehow…I’m still not sure how and I’m nearly a year behind now that they’ve done it again

@David Futrelle — “Then again, when I’ve described the film to feminist women I know, they were mostly appalled, and none of them wanted to watch it.” — that’s basically why I watched it XD I’m not real fond of being disgusted by something you haven’t even watched, seems a bit “well wtf do you actually know then?” — and it really is subversive for the vast majority of it, right up until that ending (of course, if you aren’t a Nice Guy, you then hate the character you’ve been liking, which gets it a few points in its favor still)

@CassandraSays — “Kind of Antz-ish in a way – he’s fond of the word “vile”.” — hey now, so am I, and that’s certainly not my anti-manboobz blog!

@Pecunium — “where I saw three Van Goghs, including Starry Night, which isn’t as good as “Night on the Rhone”, or Olive Trees; which I also saw today” — Night on the Rhone has long been my favorite, people tend to think that means I’m like, bashing Starry Night or something >.< I'm kind of geeking out over here that I'm not the only one who likes that one better though 🙂

Ponkz
Ponkz
12 years ago

I’ve always been fond of Cafe Terrace At Night…

Pecunium
12 years ago

Ponkz: MOMA is ok.

Three Van Gogh, two Seurat, two Klimt, a Rouseau, some Mondrian, five Brancusi sculptures (I love Brancusi).

I’m not a huge fan of post-impressionist art, but there is some nice stuff at MOMA.

Argenti: Starry Night is good, but Night on the Rhone took my breath away. It literally stopped me in my tracks.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Pecunium — “Starry Night is good, but Night on the Rhone took my breath away. It literally stopped me in my tracks.” — that’s basically my thoughts on the two paintings (when I can manage thought while looking at Night on the Rhone that is) — and I haven’t seen them in person. Though, MOMA is kind of on the way from here to my parents….the Mondrians, are any of those the big block color ones? Like maybe this one?

If MOMA’s got my two favorite paintings then I have got to make a trip to NYC already (grew up 75~ miles away, never stepped foot in NYC, I’m a terrible person, I know)

Pecunium
12 years ago

If you are heading this way, let me know.

I did a write up on the trip I took to the De Young in SF, where I first saw Starry Night over the Rhone. Decidedly Visible Means of Support

Read the comments if you like, there is more discussion of Van Gogh.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

I may be New England bound around the middle of July, I’m still trying to sort out the logistics of that as there’s no fucking way I’m staying at my parents house (short version “would you like some hostility with your thanksgiving?”). Prod David to approve my forum access and I’ll let y’all know when I’m coming up though. One “warning” — I am really socially awkward in real life, I’ll turn into a nervous wreck most likely.

I have an aunt who wants to have tea with me, so I can probably only avoid coming up for so long before I get dragged up there by the ear or something ^.^

And damn on your motorcycle accident, hope that ankle healed up well.

Pecunium
12 years ago

Argenti: There are other ways you can contact me. The ankle healed up fine, though I still have bruises.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

I’m poking around your LJ now, I’ll definitely let you know, and maybe drag along the best-friend both so I freak out less about NEW PEOPLE and because he’d probably love to have someone to practice his Russian on.

Ah, there’s your email! I’ll let you know once I know, my life has this habit of planning itself around me…

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Oh and I’m glad your ankle’s alright, motorcycle accidents can be nasty…not that that’s news to you >.<

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

Our detractors assume we spend rather much more time here than we actually do. I remember one evening I was writing a paper and periodically taking a break to comment on a blog Glorious Leader linked to. Over there I was exchanging words with Johnny BB (I think), and after I went out to the three-hour class I was writing for I came back to find that he’d accused me of “spending an evening defending women’s rights” or something like that. It was funny.

I can’t decide what’s worse, the assertion that one has wasted all their time in an online discussion (especially when the person saying so has wasted at least as much time as you have, therefore really has no place to talk), or the claims of victory when a person DOESN’T waste all their time in an online discussion and, you know, walks away from the conversation to live their life for a while.

I have been told both. Usually the former is a livejournal thing because I get notifications any time I get a reply to a comment so some people make that assumption that my quick replies mean I’m just f5ing the post all day, but really I’m just online, checking my email when it tells me I have something new. And the latter when I dared not respond to a guy on youtube after a whole THREE HOURS because I went to class. There is no winning in other’s interpretations of your online activity.

And back to Dead Girl. I just remember having high expectations and being let down. This is another one of those films I haven’t seen in a long time so I can’t pinpoint what it was I didn’t like, but it definitely had nothing to do with my being a woman watching it. My ex wasn’t impressed for the exact same reasons I was. And yeah, as far as watching horror, I’m the type who can watch films like Martyrs and dream about kittens whereas my ex had horrible nightmares. It’s pretty hard to shock me.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Jessay — two guesses on Dead Girl, one, it’s really low budget, really low budget, which would be tolerable if not for two, that ending! (you can google the synopsis if you don’t remember, I don’t want to spoiler it)

And there’s the microwave, which will just keep beeping until I deal with it >.<

Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
12 years ago

Bill Forsyth fucking rocks.

Gregory’s Girl is my favorite first date movie, by a long, long, long shot.

But my favorite Bill Forsyth movie is Housekeeping. Heartbreaking, beautiful, and unforgettable.

Ithiliana
12 years ago

re the “online and no life” thing: I also suspect that the trolls who fling that accusation don’t actually notice that different people are online at different times, and that while there is pretty much 24/7 activity on the MBZ discussion threads, it’s not the same people all the time–they can’t distinguish, so just throw out random shit.

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

Hmm, I’ll really just have to rewatch it. It was most likely quality and execution. I work in this industry so stuff like that can sometimes really irc me more so than the casual movie-watcher.

I read the ending and I can read into it in a way that has a powerful message, that this type of behavior is contagious and if you allow people to mistreat each other you are no better than the ones doing the mistreating, and possible even become like them, or something along those lines, but I’m not going to speculate too much because it’s been about 3 or 4 years since I saw it. I can only guess right now.. Hmm. checking if it’s on Netflix instant.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Jessay — I did stage crew // theatre, so I know what you mean about the quality ruining it, and Dead Girl certainly had points it was all I could do not to laugh at the quality during what was clearly supposed to be terrible things happening

I like your reading of the ending though, I got so annoyed by it I missed that that could’ve been the point…that the abusive-asshole type is contagious might explain why they don’t really address that it ends with a frikken zombie on the loose. (That was the other thing that really irked me, that they have the beginning of a zombie apocalypse, not the end of one.)

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

Yeah, so I rewatched it late last night and yeah, it was absolutely the quality and plot holes that irked me the first time around. I mean,

*SPOILERS*
Why did they keep trying to free the dead girl themselves? Why wouldn’t they have called the cops instead of sneaking down with knives and bolt cutters? Esp the jock friend who saw what the dead girl’s bite did to his friend, and he thinks it’s a good idea to just set her free to roam instead of alerting the proper authorities so that they could handle it with some safety precautions in place? And after the dead girl was set free, nobody else was turned? She didn’t create a zombie epidemic? Neither did the jock who was bitten? The “nice guy” wasn’t questioned about the disappearance of like eight local teenagers who he had personal connections with?

I CAN ONLY SUSPEND MY DISBELIEF SO MUCH!
/SPOILERS

Haha. But no, I definitely read into it the second time around in ways that I really hope the writer intended. Had it been executed better, it probably would’ve been a favorite of mine. What’s really troubling is that so many people who watched it didn’t take it as thought provoking at all, and spent more time agonizing over things like the likelihood of five random boys all happening to be ok with necrophilia, or trying to sympathize with the boys who were the loser stereotype who thought this was the best they could ever get. This was confirmed reading the imdb message boards (though that place has so many trolls and horrible people frequenting it, I shouldn’t be that surprised). I spent an hour or so being like, “NONE OF THIS JUSTIFIES RAPE! AHHH!” and trying to explain what I got out of the film, but I think it fell of deaf ears.

But overall I saw a lot of examples of MRAish mentalities come to life in an exaggerated way. The “nice guy” who thinks he deserves sex just for being “nice,” and who get angry at women for not choosing them over the guy they perceive to be an asshole. The men who want to own and control women. The notion that a lack of a “no” means “yes.” And a metaphor for how the dehumanization and objectification of women can lead to disgusting, horrific behavior. These guys didn’t see her as human, so they felt she no longer had rights to body autonomy. And yeah, the ending is… interesting. I can’t quite decide what the writer intended with it, but I can read into it what I thought earlier. The “nice guy” character allowed himself to be an accessory to the crime by being too easily dissuaded to report it. Trying to call the cops once and giving up on that when his mom’s boyfriend comes home. Like, really? That’s the best you can do? And then taking the opportunity to own the girl who he obsessed over for years despite her not wanting him. So it exemplifies this misogynistic attitude that some men have where the woman’s needs, desires, and wants are irrelevant, she should want me because I want her, and the willingness to take from her what she’s not willing to give.

Yeah, I thought pretty hard about this one haha.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

This is full of Dead Girl spoilers, move along if you haven’t seen it and don’t want SPOILERS

Why did they keep trying to free the dead girl themselves? Why wouldn’t they have called the cops instead of sneaking down with knives and bolt cutters? Esp the jock friend who saw what the dead girl’s bite did to his friend, and he thinks it’s a good idea to just set her free to roam instead of alerting the proper authorities so that they could handle it with some safety precautions in place?

That part makes sense enough to ignore, because they’re teenagers is why — they’re too afraid of getting in trouble. The rest, idfk, and I second “I CAN ONLY SUSPEND MY DISBELIEF SO MUCH!”

The rest of what you said I agree on, with one note — “the likelihood of five random boys all happening to be ok with necrophilia” — well, it’s not necrophilia, she’s not dead-dead…but that’s where “These guys didn’t see her as human, so they felt she no longer had rights to body autonomy.” really becomes relevant.

Regarding “Trying to call the cops once and giving up on that when his mom’s boyfriend comes home. Like, really? That’s the best you can do?” — they’re teenagers committing breaking and entering, I think that all is meant to display that they know they were doing Bad Things to even have found her. They aren’t adults though, so it does make sense that they could be so worried about being arrested for being there in the first place that they didn’t realize that was NOT going to be the police’s first priority.

Then again, if it’s intended for a teen audience, no goddamned way will they not fall straight into “The notion that a lack of a “no” means “yes.””

I watched all of Lord of The Rings yesterday, I guess I can suffer through horrible green goo props again…considering I haven’t seen it since when it came out, apply some salt to my theory about some of the idiocy being simply because they’re teenagers. I would guess that’s why the jock did wtf he did though, going to the hospital with how his friend had sex with this girl right here, wtf does she have? is a lot less questionable than dragging the police to where she was and then saying your buddy stuck his penis in her mouth — they realized it was rape?

Yeah, I’m going to have to watch it again, lol, it’s already on the server even, w00t for being an organized geek!

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

MORE SPOILERS

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

the second jock went back to release her. I dunno, it was weird. They initially didn’t know she was a zombie but thought she was a girl who was “into kink and bondage” and the jocks accepted the JT character’s explanation that she was tied up and beaten because she wanted to be, and that she wanted them to have sex with her. He spoke FOR her, which was really messed up. So while they didn’t know she was a zombie, they willingly participated in rape.

I get the self preservation aspect of not going to the cops, while of course it’s completely wrong, but I understand that mentality. What I didn’t understand is trying to let her go themselves. If I remember correctly, they were going to take her to the cops. Like, dudes, why not take the cops to her? WTF are you doing? Ehhh, stupid teenagers? I dunno. It’s hard for me to watch these movies and not get angry at the stupid characters. But I still got some meaning out of it anyways.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

**YET MORE SPOILERS**
Jessay, I’m watching it on and off now (in addition to needing breaks to snark at the quality, the volume is highly uneven and there’s a small child sleeping in the apt upstairs and boy do I not want to listen to a temper tantrum) — the phone call fails because his mother’s drunk boyfriend startles him, ok, that makes sense, so he brings a gun to threaten JT into releasing her I guess? I’m paused on the realization she can’t die, so he didn’t know she was a zombie yet, so I guess it makes enough sense for high school logic so far?

Time to unpause and try not to laugh at the green goo though I guess. (What’s almost funny is I guess that’s what they thought would come out if one shot a corpse?)

What may actually annoy me most? They put so little thought into the props that the mental hospital has incubators as generic medical equipment, it reminds me of the Monty Python’s “where’s the machine that goes BING?” (if you don’t know the reference, it’s a crack at how medical birth has become, they wheel machine after machine into the delivery room, and at the very end of the scene realize the pregnant woman is still in the hall) — unless that’s intended as an allusion to the sort of mad science that made a zombie?

Did I just realize there’s also a layer of psych abuse bad m’k? in here? I think I may’ve…

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

**AND MORE SPOILERS**
“They initially didn’t know she was a zombie but thought she was a girl who was “into kink and bondage” and the jocks accepted the JT character’s explanation that she was tied up and beaten because she wanted to be, and that she wanted them to have sex with her. He spoke FOR her, which was really messed up. So while they didn’t know she was a zombie, they willingly participated in rape.”

I’ve finally made it to that scene, and I hate to say this, but I’m not having massive suspension of disbelief issues that jocks would buy that if the cost of not doing so was having their manhood mocked — just take a look at the regular trolls around here >.< (and they *aren't* teenagers)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

**SPOILERS**
Finally done again, and while it’s “only” 4 missing students, and the jock with his guts hanging out in the middle of the school, one would think that at least the jocks would be noticed — Wheeler and JT are said to have no one who cares, and schools really don’t notice when the failures fail, but the jock shitting his guts out in the bathroom and then another jock goes missing? that really should raise alarms, and half the school saw them fight with Wheeler (also missing) and the main character…who really should be under questioning at the end, not visiting his own dead girl (who presumably also has parents who noticed she went missing)

Most importantly though might be the jock that ends up in the hospital — they’re going to realize this is Not Normal and get all CDC about it.

Even the theory about evil being contagious only sort of works, maybe it’s that yesterday was LoTR, but evil doesn’t just change one in a split second the way the main character goes from trying to save the original dead girl, to trying to save Joann, to…her tied up and we can assume he’s doing the same thing to her, because yesterday it was all about winning her over and now it’s all about rape?? — I like the theory, but it’s unbelievable just how fast he goes from trying to save her by getting her out to “saving her” to raping her — merely having her bitten when it’s clear she doesn’t have time left to be carried out, okay that’d make enough sense, but then to tie her up with pretty dresses? Particularly after his response to how she’d never love him was to keep trying to free her and cutting his friend’s hand off?

I’m going with the last 5 min kill it, and in that, it’s very Lost Boys (also tolerably bad until the end, though in a completely different “you did not just do that?!” way)