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No, women aren’t better than men. But the guys at A Voice for Men are doing their best to make it seem that way.

Putting women on pedestals: Not good feminism.

Roger Ebert recently wrote a well-intentioned but misguided faux-feminist blog post setting forth the thesis that “Women are better than men.” Here’s the gist of it, from his opening paragraph:

Women are nicer than men. There are exceptions. Most people of both sexes are probably fairly nice, given the nature of their upbringing and opportunities. But in terms of their lifelong natures, women are kinder, more empathetic, more generous. And the sooner more of them take positions of power, the better our chances as a species.

Here’s how to respond appropriately to this sort of argument, courtesy of Jill at Feministe:

I love me some Roger Ebert, but this is a big piece of crap. His point basically comes down to, “Women are nurturing and wonderful and non-violent, men are competitive and want to see boobs, because Evolution.” …  Most people are capable of great kindness; most people are capable of being total assholes. The degree to which any of us displays any of these traits depends largely on circumstance and partly on individual personality and temperament. Those things are certainly influenced by gender, but our gender does not in fact hard-wire us to be nice or awful.

Here’s how to respond inappropriately to this sort of argument, courtesy of John the Other at A Voice for Men:

[Y]es, it’s another one of those articles. Men are bad, women are good, men are worse, women are better, men are the worst thing ever, and women are just the best, squee!!! …

Ebert, in his attempt to ingratiate himself to a mostly female audience has done what countless other approval seeking men have done. Simply, to metaphorically prostrate himself – declaring – look, I’m a good man, not like those other bad men, you see how I heap scorn on them and flatter you? Approve of me!…

Ebert’s male-abasing and false esteem is a tired and monotonous repetition of standard gender ideology.

Sing along with me, you all know the words!

Women are better then men!

Boom boom boom!

They do everything better than them!

Boom boom boom!

 

Ladies are generally nicer!

Quack quack quack!

Their thoughts and feelings are higher!

Quack quack quack!

 

Girls and women are smarter!

Bing! Bang! Smash!

To keep up, men must try harder!

Clang! Bang! Bash!

 

Well, there’s a thoughtful argument.

Naturally, the commenters at AVfM are happy to join in the fun.

Shrek6 trots out the old “we hunted the mammoth” argument:

[E]verything on this earth from the knickers these women wear on their fat buts, all the way through to just about every single thing they touch in their day, up to and including homes, buildings, cars, trains, rockets, and the food they stuff down their throats, has all been either invented or produced by those useless ‘less than’ human, men. What a waste of space those men are!

Yep, I can feel a man strike coming on.

If all the men and boys in this world pulled the pin and sat on their buts for a month, the world would come to a grinding halt and anarchy would reign. All the women would be seen crying, screeching at men with gnashing teeth. Then they would eventually come begging.

Yep, that day is coming to these over indulged women. That day is coming!

Andybob, meanwhile, offers this analysis of what he sees as the gender enemy:

There are four main categories of women:

1) Women who care about the men in their lives, but never make the connection that their naked misandry contributes to the misery of these men. Most of those women who whooped and cackled when RegisterHer lifer, Sharon Osborne, expressed delight when an innocent man was genitally mutilated belong in this category. They would not have cackled quite so much if someone had brutalised their sons. Other women’s sons? No problem. It has ever been thus: white feather campaign in WWI.

2) Women who may pay lip service to caring about the men in their lives, but in reality, see them in the same way they see all other men – as utility objects to be manipulated and exploited. Such women don’t think of the men in their lives at all, except when they want something from them.

3) Feminists. These range from the mild (man-hating bigots), to the radical (man-hating bigots who advocate genocide and eugenics).

4) Women MRAs. These are rare women (I’ve never seen one, even in captivity), who regard men as actual people with collective and innate value. I can count them on two hands with fingers to spare.

Men have been struggling for many decades now with nary a peep from women. There is a reason for this.

They don’t care.

Feminism has provided today’s pampered princesses with the privilege-stuffed, consequence-free Nirvana that they believe they’re entitled to. Do you really think they can be swayed with reason and logic? Have you ever tried to discuss men’s rights with women? They will show concern for some imaginary, hypothetical female from some Third World country before they give two shits about the son, brother or friend standing in front of them. …

We are in a battle against a powerful, well-financed and establishment-supported entity which has succeeded in stealing our rights in every sphere. This has been done with the silent collusion of vast numbers of women. As such, a few “derogatory remarks” are the least they deserve.

Guys, I hate to have to tell you this, but you’re sort of making it look like Ebert might have a point.

Happily, I know that you all are statistical outliers, and that your raving misogyny (while it may reflect views common amongst AVFM readers, as evidenced by the upvotes those comments got) doesn’t reflect the views of most men. Heck, even some Men’s Rights Redditors are getting sick of your bullshit.

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Shaenon
12 years ago

Okay, okay. Chris, I have two pieces of advice about getting laid. I used to not get laid, and now I get laid, so I am an expert.

1. If you identify your difficulty getting laid as a Very Serious Medical Condition That Is Very Serious and Sad, and go around complaining about how unfair it is that people refuse to treat your condition by offering their bodies for your use, you are guaranteeing that you will continue to have difficulty getting laid. Do not give the current location of your penis its own terminology!

2. If people tell you that your behavior is off-putting, even if you think they’re wrong and you’re actually being delightful and charming, listen to them. Especially if there are lots of people saying this, and no one is agreeing about the delightful and charming part.

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Shaenon — Noooooo! We just got him to agree to stay gone if we stop talking about him.

Though #2 is good advice in general.

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

Argenti, sadly I don’t think that would have worked. But we gave it a shot!

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

“So how bout them yankees?” — oh gods I am glad to be out of the middle of the yankees/red sox debate. You apparently cannot live in CT and not have an opinion.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Shaenon! Do not summon the Whiny Kraken!

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Snowy — I was hoping we could at least manage page 6 Not All About Chris though.

Sooo…how’s the weather?

jumbofish
12 years ago

How are your pandas?

jumbofish
12 years ago

and how about those snakes in ireland?

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

Argenti I think a storm’s a-comin’. A whinestorm.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Today was sunny, but not very warm. I think it will be warmer this weekend.

So…what’s everyone having for lunch tomorrow?

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

“that wasn’t being shat all over by dubs” — the Naruto dubs are definitely terrible, yeah.

Did someone call for pandas?

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Or maybe a dozen panda cubs?

How in the world would I know what’s for lunch tomorrow — do I look psychic or something??

My weather’s been all kinds of too cold for May after “how is it 80 in April!?”…just plain weird in other words.

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

Ebert’s male-abasing and false esteem is a tired and monotonous repetition of standard gender ideology.

Kind of like the monotonous repetition of the gender ideology that claims that men are always stronger, faster, smarter, more logical, created our entire world, etc etc. I mean, Roger Ebert is not your average feminist, so his claims that women are better aren’t really relevant to the movement. But I’m constantly seeing claims that men are naturally better at everything and women are useless in MRA circles.

Anyways, I don’t think I will ever forgive Roger Ebert for bringing attention to Chaos because of it’s brutal rape scene. God that movie was awful. I love horror movies and seek out the most twisted movies I can find, so based off his review I was like, “Nice, this will be something to disturb me.” Umm, thanks Roger, that was the saddest ripoff of a good movie I have ever seen. It was really just an hour and a half of elementary school play quality acting, a regurgitated plot line, slut shaming, and victim blaming, as an excuse to show a “brutal rape” on film. One which actually didn’t even shock me much because I’ve seen the exact same type of rape happen in another b movie in the past so I wasn’t as shocked as I would’ve been had it been a new concept. But still, it was just not worth my time. Ebert should’ve done it justice by just not even reviewing it, because his scathing review gave it way more attention than it deserved.

Also lol worthy is the attempt at an honest assessment of the movie House Arrest, a child’s movie, where they point out the plot holes. It’s a CHILD’S MOVIE!

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri- I forgot to mention- there is a *TALKING MOTORCYCLE* in Kino no Tabi that somehow works in an immeasurably awesome way. His name is Hermes and there are some times when I think that only Kino can understand him, and other times where other people seem to be able to hear what he’s saying, and at the end of the series I start wondering if maybe everyone is just hallucinating that Hermes can talk or something.

Gee, now I really want a talking motorbike to go on an adventure with.

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

In other news, my daughter and I have been addicted to watching Ghibli films lately and it is only recently that I’ve noticed that pretty much every single Ghibli film smashes the Bechtel Test out of the park. The female characters are actually DYNAMIC INDIVIDUALS, not just “strong female characters” or “weak feminine flowers.”

They’re….people! Imagine that!

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

“Also lol worthy is the attempt at an honest assessment of the movie House Arrest, a child’s movie, where they point out the plot holes. It’s a CHILD’S MOVIE!” — LOL!

…and at the end of the series I start wondering if maybe everyone is just hallucinating that Hermes can talk or something.

Gee, now I really want a talking motorbike to go on an adventure with.

You could always just talk to a non-talking motorbike…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Actually Japanese cinema knocks it out of the park on a regular basis as far as having female characters that are actual characters rather than props. And that’s not even a new thing – check out something like When A Woman Ascends The Stairs. That movie is so old that it’s in black and white, and every female character in it other than the geisha you only see for about a minute in one scene is a fully developed character.

Wetherby
Wetherby
12 years ago

Nanasha:

If your kid is too tall, too short, to fat, to skinny, too talkative too quiet too whatever THEIR child NEVER was, you get an earful about it from family, from friends (who often don’t have kids but seem to think they know “everything” about parenting), and from random strangers on the street who want to regale you with how perfectly their child-rearing experience went. Frankly, it’s exhausting.

Having seen how my mother treated my sister-in-law when she had her kids, I was bracing myself for something similar with regard to my wife… but for some bizarre reason she assumed that her being a midwife made her some kind of professional child-rearing genius, even though she was as clueless about what happened to them after birth as anyone else. Still, we were never exactly minded to put her right.

That aside, I agree with you about the “exhausting” bit, as though bringing up kids wasn’t exhausting in the first place. I think it’s when they get past the ages of five or six that they stop being mostly exhausting and start being properly entertaining, but now we’ve got adolescence to look forward to in less than five years. Joy oh joy.

Shaenon:

2. If people tell you that your behavior is off-putting, even if you think they’re wrong and you’re actually being delightful and charming, listen to them. Especially if there are lots of people saying this, and no one is agreeing about the delightful and charming part.

This. Absolutely this. It seems to me that the biggest hurdle people have to overcome when it comes to getting laid is negotiating the often Grand Canyon-like gap between how they perceive themselves and how everybody else perceives them.

And I think virtually all of us would agree that off-topic and obsessively solipsistic whining is a major turn-off in almost any social situation.

Chris:

Re the prostitution thing. Main reason I haven’t done it is because of the future girlfriend thing.

So don’t tell her. I haven’t told my wife everything about my sexual past, and she certainly hasn’t told me everything about hers. We bring up selected details as and when we deem it necessary (and/or entertaining).

In all seriousness, a sex worker might well be the way to go – if only to underscore the fact that sexual intercourse really isn’t the TRULY MASSIVELY COLOSSAL deal you’re making it out to be.

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri

I’ve always secretly loved the idea of going on an adventure with a talking partner that can crack really good jokes and who always has your back. My first obsession was Digimon because the characters were actual partners (unlike Pokemon where you collect the poor animals in balls and force them to fight) and they could talk and were intelligent and awesome. Then I fell in love with Jing: King of Bandits because Kir was hilarious. I absolutely adored the Tachikoma in Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. And Hermes honestly made me start thinking about possibly getting a motor bike of my own (I decided against it and have a bicycle that I use daily instead).

Luckily, both my daughter and husband love going on adventures, even if said adventure is only to the park or downtown to the cookie shop. So I get adventure and a family, and try and forget how cute it would be if Patamon came out of my computer screen and cuddled up at the foot of my bed under a big fleece blanket I’d make for him. <_<

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Speaking of bad movies (all the trigger warnings, and I’m not kidding, zombie rape is the plot >.< ) — http://www.filmcritic.com/reviews/2009/deadgirl/

"The filmmakers, handling a tissue-thin concept from screenwriter Trent Haaga, aim for immoral satire — wouldn't every young, horny boy like his own zombie woman to rape? — but the end result is atonal, bloated, and uncomfortable."

It actually could've been decent, and fails in a way I haven't seen since The Lost Boys. (Which might be the worst vampire movie ever, or at least until Twilight…except I suspect even Twilight is less incoherent)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

The only good thing about The Lost Boys was the dog.

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

@CassandraSays-

Have you watched anything by Satoshi Kon? Stuff like Perfect Blue, Tokyo Grandfathers, Paprika and Paranoia Agent are masterpieces, and all of them create fully formed female (as well as male) characters who you really believe in, regardless of it being animation.

I think that’s the part that I’ve always loved about anime in general- the sheer depth of feeling and characterization of the characters in most of the higher quality shows and movies that make American animation (and a lot of live action) look like 2D cardboard cutouts in comparison.

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

“I absolutely adored the Tachikoma in Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex.” — awww I’m an epic arachnophobe and basically went “they have 8 legs, gross” and then they grew on me, a lot…they really are the stars in a sense — who’s always saving the day?

And since you can’t get a patamon, get a puppy? They’ll be happy to curl up at your feet. Probably too hectic if you’ve already got one small child and another on the way though.

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Cassandra — the dog might be the only one who managed to stay in character and not get all “ending? nawh, dues ex machina!!” (I was liking the grandfather right up til that ending >.< )

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri-

That kind of reminds me of the movie “Fido” which involves a guy who has a “hot” young zombie girl that he uses as a domestic servant and whose relationship that is portrayed as HIGHLY CREEPY, but at the same time, there’s also the overarching story where the main character’s “pet zombie” Fido (played by Billy Connolly!) kinda falls in love with the main character’s mom-well the best a zombie can. It’s a very campy film (SPACE RADIATION MAKES ZOMBIES APPARENTLY), but it’s also somehow really good in a lot of ways. And it TOTALLY DECONSTRUCTS stereotypical 50’s Leave it to Beaver bullshit.

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