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Reddit Rape Joker: “Let’s all use this as a learning experience.”

Every few days, it seems, Reddit has some thread asking the regulars there what horrible thing they would do if they could get away with it. And invariably someone says rape.

The good folks in ShitRedditSays recently highlighted one such comment, from a fellow calling himself nickfromredcliff. As you can see from the edits to his comment below, poor Nick felt somewhat embarrassed and even affronted by the attention.

When I checked his comment again this morning while writing this post, I found he’d edited it again. Gone was his plaintive plea for tolerance; in its place, a bunch of new rape jokes. (You can find a screenshot of his original comment here; at the time it had 39 upvotes.)

Let’s all use this as a learning experience.

And while we’re at it, let’s have a toast for the douchebag.

 

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ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

Shit I’d do with no consequences? Steal road signs and play “magnetic words” with them someplace public. Throw a party on my apartment’s roof.

And hell, let’s throw in physical and contextual consequences as well. I mean, if there were literally no chance a klutz like me would break myself doing it, I’d try that extreme snowboarding shit where the people have to be helicoptered onto the mountain/cliff. I’d try surfing. I’d stupidly try to kayak the fucking pacific like my cousin did (who had very little kayaking experience and very nearly killed himself along with his inexperienced friends). If I had no chance of winding up homeless and broke, I’d quit my job and start backpacking across the world. If there were no chance any of them would be bombed, I’d set up way more Planned Parenthoods. If it didn’t mean wicked hangovers everyday, I’d drink myself silly every night. If I couldn’t get arrested for possession of the stuff? I’d smoke pot a lot more often too.

I mean, there are WAY cooler things to do with a theoretically limitless world than violate someone else.

M Dubz
12 years ago

@Precunium- Oh, I know. I was thinking more “no future professional consequences.” Something tells me that topless photos of me somewhere on the internet would NOT be good for my future career :/

cloudiah
12 years ago

If you really wanted it to not hurt anyone and you’re inserting magic into your answer, why not just make it so women found you attractive and you didn’t have to rape them to get laid? Why specify that rape is what you’d do if it weren’t illegal and wouldn’t hurt anyone?

EGG-zactly. He really wanted to rape beautiful women, not have consensual sex with beautiful women. The rape was the important part. Some people do indeed suck at being human. Like Viscaria said, I am glad so many of you do NOT suck.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
12 years ago

I would steal a boat and smuggle trafficked people to freedom in the tropics, maybe Hawaii, or back to their homes if that is what they wanted.

speedbudget
speedbudget
12 years ago

I refuse to stipulate that was a joke. That does not even remotely resemble a joke.

OSHIII
OSHIII
12 years ago

FFS, why rape at all then, if he doesn’t want to harm anybody by forcing himself on them? Why not just say “I would steal so much money and awesome shit that even the most beautiful, unavailable, whatever-I-find-attractive, woman would end up accepting my offer in exchange for voluntary sex, especially since I can do anything and that includes not being charged with paying someone for a bout of unenthusiastic sex”, or some other nonsense. It’s still disgusting, but at least it’s a fantasy scenario where no one’s being fucking violated.

My guess is he said rape because he likes the idea of rape.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

Hey guys, wanna hear a horribe racist joke?

It’s totally ok. I used to volunteer to help immigrants learn English so you know I’m a good person. Now about that hilarious racist joke…

Magpie
Magpie
12 years ago

On appropriateness of dark humour – undertakers (frinstance) might make dark jokes to each other, but they would not make those jokes to grieving relatives. Because most people aren’t arseholes. And if I give blood, does that now mean I can insult anyone I like?

swankivy
12 years ago
Reply to  Magpie

I once volunteered to help the environment recycling phone books.

Isn’t that enough for me to get to shame a gay person now?

Isn’t that how it works? If we do something nice that’s completely unrelated, it means we have “paid for” the right to attack someone else?

Man, I sure hope that’s true, ’cause I volunteered at a food bank last year and I’ve been storing up my fat people insults! Just dying to let them loose!

Magpie
Magpie
12 years ago

Vaguely remember a science fiction story where if you did the time first, you were allowed to commit the crime. A bloke wanted to off his wife, so did 30 years hard labour. When he got out, she had died of old age or something, so he used up his crime allowance on little crimes. Starting with littering, I think.

pillowinhell
12 years ago

You know, I remember as a kid Bob Rae and a couple other politicians spent some time living like the working poor. Same accomodations, same places to shop, same jobs, same paychecks. It was only a month or two, but it was a real eye opener for them. And it was Rae that noted that it only gives you a sense of being in the other persons shoes, because you know that a better life is only a few days away.

I think that people who want to criticize other peoples lives should be allowed to, so long as they spend a certain amount of time living that life.

There was a TV show that featured smug childless family members or cluesless spouses who thought they could do so much better. So they spent a weekend with the usual assigned chores and the kids to show how it ewas done. I think I only saw once where the person suceeded, and everyone was friggin miserable by the end.

Yoyo
Yoyo
12 years ago

And don’t forget when someone calls you on being a f..ktard you should just double down, cos that means you are soo out there and cool.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
12 years ago

Vaguely remember a science fiction story where if you did the time first, you were allowed to commit the crime. A bloke wanted to off his wife, so did 30 years hard labour. When he got out, she had died of old age or something, so he used up his crime allowance on little crimes. Starting with littering, I think.

This story sounds kind of awesome. XD

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

You know, I ordered Chinese food tonight and, no lie, you know what my fortune cookie said? “Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.” I definitely think this can be said for humans in general, but yeah, I think overall the message is the same. You think rape is funny? You’re an asshole. Even my fortune cookie says so.

filetofswedishfish
12 years ago

It is so intensely upsetting to me that to this guy- the appealing part is the *rape*. Who sits around and thinks “Yeah, I could do harmless, silly, absurd things, but no. I’ll do something that is intrinsically hurtful in a number of ways, I’ll just stipulate that it won’t hurt the victims!” Dude. The hurting in whatever way it hurts is *part of that stupid process*

I’d also like to add that reading what you people write here makes dealing with the day-to-day better. Sure, people in my life might be some of the “make terrible joke, receive no laughs, double down and demand filetofswedishfish changes her humor” types, but there are people here who get that that isn’t cool.

Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

“To quote The Oysterband, ‘What I can’t bear to remember, is what I can’t bear to forget.'”

Yeah I sometimes make some truly off color jokes on the same principle, I also don’t go spreading them around the internet out of context >.<

Re: pot — various states have decriminalized small amounts — <1/2 oz will cost you a $150 fine in CT for example. Not no consequences, but America seems to be finally figuring out it has bigger things to worry about. The more you know.

Back on topic — consequence free actions? Chocolate at every meal, lots and lots of incredibly rich dark chocolate. If I can eat whatever I want without it having bad effects, I'm gonna enjoy it, which means I want ALL THE CHOCOLATE! (Lol, maybe I should try that anyways, maybe then I could weigh enough to donate blood, wtf was that part of his post about anyways?)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Even if the idea was to talk about consequence free actions relating to sex, there’s no need to go with this sort of mealy-mouthed rape apologism. How about being able to have all the affairs that you want and not have your partner ever find out? Or being able to have unprotected sex with lots of people and never catch any STDs because hey this is your fantasy so you don’t have to worry about that? Or how about fantasizing that tons of beautiful women want to have sex with you because you’re just that awesome?

But no, this guy wants to rape people, and he’s very very upset that some other people pointed out that they don’t think very well of him because of that. His response reminds me of when people throw a fit about getting negative feedback to something that they said and call it censorship. Sorry, dude, the “no consequences” thing didn’t include a promise that your fellow Redditors wouldn’t call you a jerk because of whatever you posted.

GingerSnaps
GingerSnaps
12 years ago

“His response reminds me of when people throw a fit about getting negative feedback to something that they said and call it censorship”

You’re allowed to say stupid things, but you’re not allowed to say stupid things and then expect me to not ruthlessly mock you for it.

Le John
Le John
12 years ago

It does make me wonder about the types of people that harbour
rape fantasies. The things people think about can be damn scary.

jrockford
jrockford
12 years ago

On OKCupid, I think one of the few “Mandatory” questions I have is the “Do you often make jokes that offend more uptight people?” because I think it filters out the sort of people that think rape jokes etc. are totally hilarious. That type of person who’s all, “you guys are just too PC to handle me.”

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

Ever notice how the same guys who are “only joking” when they say messed up shit about raping women are the same people who get HORRIBLY OFFENDED when people make “tiny dick” jokes or “castration jokes” or anything that might possibly IMPLY that said guy’s genitals might be the topic being “joked” about?

Cognitive disconnect much?

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

Also, I’d totally go for the “I’d wish to never get sick or infected with any disease ever” if I was going to fly out into HYPOTHETICAL LAND. I’d certainly be more adventurous sexually if I didn’t think that I could get infected with HPV et al (which can cause cervical cancer, is small enough to go through condoms and is fatal to women) so easily.

But then again, being able to fly- that would be even cooler. *whooosh*

Epiphany!
Epiphany!
12 years ago

I love you Futrelle. I love this vid.

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

When it comes to jokes, everything is fair game for me. This includes the things that personally, deeply affect me. I mean, it’s just the way I was raised, to handle difficult situations with humor. This is why we joked on my aunt’s death bed. We kind of have this inability to show our pain in public. But I’m also conscious of my company. I’m not about to throw a horribly offensive joke out to someone I don’t know and hope it sticks. It’s reserved for people who I know understand that what I’m saying is a joke.

So I can’t quite get angry at jokes. On the other hand, the dude on reddit was not making a joke, or at least not OBVIOUSLY making a joke. So when he said that, of course it wasn’t taken as a joke. And what pisses me off is that he tried to get a pass by claiming it a joke. Jokes are funny, that wasn’t funny. That was stupid. There wasn’t even really a way to take it as a joke. He was just back peddling.

kladle
kladle
12 years ago

Also, I’d totally go for the “I’d wish to never get sick or infected with any disease ever” if I was going to fly out into HYPOTHETICAL LAND. I’d certainly be more adventurous sexually if I didn’t think that I could get infected with HPV et al (which can cause cervical cancer, is small enough to go through condoms and is fatal to women) so easily.

whoa whoa whoa

No virus is “small enough to go through condoms”. Viruses cannot get through a latex condom, this is a myth the Christian right made up to scare people away from sexual activity. (Stuff can go through lambskin condoms though, this is why they are pretty much useless.) The reason why condoms are only about 70% effective against HPV is because HPV can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact rather than just through body fluids and since a condom only covers the penis and not the entirety of the male genital region it can still be passed on.

http://cervicalcancer.about.com/od/riskfactorsandprevention/a/condoms_HPV.htm

I also dunno if what you meant by “fatal to women” is that cervical cancer is fatal to women, or if HPV is fatal to women. HPV infection doesn’t really do much by itself, it’s only insofar as certain types cause cancers that it is fatal. Cervical cancer is probably the most common and most fatal thing it causes, but it can also cause cancer elsewhere, and anal, penile, and oral cancers can affect men.