Over on A Voice for Men, our dear friend Paul Elam has come up with an interesting new way to celebrate Mother’s Day – with what is essentially the longest, least funny, and most rage-filled “Yo Mama” joke ever. (Indeed, it’s so rage-filled I should probably put a Trigger Warning right about here.)
Elam starts off by addressing the mothers of the world, suggesting he’s got a “a socially conscious twist” on the traditional Mother’s Day celebrations. Mothers, he argues, should gather together the flowers they’ve been given by their loved ones and:
Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.
Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death.
You probably didn’t see that coming, did you? He goes on.
Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics. …
Maybe you can lay virtual flowers at your computers to honor all the children that you and your sisters have pimped out to pedophiles, or perhaps the blossoms could be placed in your child’s room, which also doubles as your preferred place to abuse your own.
Oh, but you say you haven’t done any of these things, and that abortion isn’t actually the same as infanticide? No matter. Elam has an answer for that:
This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.
If you are a mother, particularly one of the many abusers, or just one that has remained silent as your sisters have beaten, choked, stabbed, burned, drowned, abused, neglected, dumped, tortured and otherwise done the unspeakable to the most defenseless among us, then I hope to see those flowers in your murderous hands, paying homage to those that have been unfortunate enough to be placed in your path. …
In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.
You see, Elam has decided that we live in an era of “collective guilt,” and that the evil (straw) feminists who go around blaming all men for the actions of a few – through such dastardly things like rape awareness seminars – deserve to find themselves collectively blamed as well.
Except that Elam’s post goes well beyond an ill-conceived and ill-intentioned attempt at “turnabout is fair play.” This isn’t a piece of Swiftian satire. He actually believes all this hateful nonsense, and says as much:
Now, do I really mean all this? Yes. It is not that women deserve to be collectively regarded as child abusers and killers. Most aren’t. Most are actually very good to their children and can even be trusted with the children of others. But that truth is not what is important here.
What is important is the children, or the principle, or whatever other bullshit we make up to convince ourselves it is not about demonizing women when that is exactly what we are doing.
I have to confess I have no idea what he’s trying to say in the second paragraph here. Did he mean to say “men” instead of “women?” If so, this is an interesting little slip.
He continues:
The fact is that mothers are more dangerous than fathers where it concerns children. They always have been. It is only a few percentage points in that direction, but of course in a White Ribbon way, it is more than enough to justify pointing a finger at your entire sex and feeling superior as we watch you atone for the unspeakable acts of a minority.
So, suck it up ladies. If you knew about White Ribbon and said nothing to object to it; if in general you have remained silent or actively participated as the image of the male half of the population has been reduced to that of a depraved threat, the step up and get your flowers. You deserve every last petal, stem and thorn.
I imagine Elam chuckling a bit as he typed that final word.
And a happy Mother’s Day to you, too!
Oh, and if you found yourself wondering about that “White Ribbon” thing, Elam is evidently (as best I can figure it) referring either to the women who, during World War I, handed out white ribbons to men who didn’t enlist in the army. Or he’s referring to this contemporary campaign to fight violence against women. But I don’t live inside Elam’s head, so I’m not sure what he meant, or why he seems to think that all women would know about either campaign, much less have any responsibility for them.
NOTE: Elam is also celebrating Mother’s Day by suggesting I had something to do with creating Reddit’s appalling “beatingwomen” subreddit as part of a nefarious plot to make the Men’s Rights movement look even worse than it manages to do on its own.
You may notice that Elam presents no actual evidence to back up his claims. There is no such evidence, because Elam’s accusations are utterly and completely untrue.
I have nothing whatsoever to do with r/beatingwomen. Nothing. I don’t know anything about who created it, or what their aim was beyond laughing at pictures and videos of violence against women. As I’ve said before, it’s a vile place. I think Reddit should shut it down.
Thanks Kyrie! I did see the post from DSC. Like I said, I am glad all you smart people explain things to me.
@ Argenti and other relatively new folks who may not be familiar with Rev – You may want to look up some previous conversations that he was involved in before wasting lots of time trying to engage with him, because those of us who’ve been here for a while have already been down that rabbit hole.Just a helpful suggestion!
@ Kendra
RE the video about shaken baby syndrome that you were required to watch, was their any follow-up from social services? It’s great that some effort is being made to educate new parents about things like that, but it occurs to me that it would be a lot more helpful if continuing services were avaliable to them once they actually took the baby home. Parenting classes seem like something that should really be avaliable on an ongoing basis, rather than just being a one off.
@Bagelsan:
“MRAs crack me up. I’m sure that the MRM will have exactly this level of freakout on Father’s Day, right, just to be fair?”
No need to, feminists have already used Father’s Day to get headlines about “deadbeat dads.” And other than this unpublicized blogger you’re all snarking about, I can’t think of any organized group using Mother’s Day as a political scapegoat.
Especially compared with the ardent followers of Eve Ensler’s annual Valentines Day rant to “stop violence against women & girls.” Speaking of Eve Ensler…
@ ostara321:
“Here’s a thought, why not head that up yourself instead of yelling at feminists for not caring about “the REAL issues”?(public awareness campaign for child abuse)
I was hoping to protest the Vagina Monologues 10th Anniverary Convention in 2008. Here’s why:
Who was Demond Reed? Demond Reed was four years old when he was beaten to death by his father’s cousin, 37 year old Carla Poole. Demond’s father was jailed for a parole violation on a pot charge and was forced to leave his son with her. She beat Demond over the course of days, finally having her own two children, ages four and six, hold the child down while she beat him to death. Her eleven year old daughter witnessed the murder. The woman left bite marks on the boys torso, he vomited his last breaths. She then coached her children to lie to the police.
Carla Poole was no Casey Anthony. Other than local coverage and a blip in the national news, the Demond Reed murder was never mentioned by the press. As opposed to the extent of coverage for Casey Anthony. Sexy sells, even child murder. Children die anonymously every day at the hands of their mothers or in conjunction with a male partner, usually not the child’s natural father.
Motivation for Demond’s Law. I was checking the morning news shows in February of 2008 to hear more about the terrible murder of this little boy. Not to be found. Instead I was confronted with Eve Ensler & Jane Fonda promoting the 10th Anniversary Convention of the Vagina Monologues, which had already been condemned by the Hague for tacit approval of drunken lesbian child molestation. In their rant about “stopping violence against women & girls” Jane dropped the C – bomb, apparently to punctuate their anti-male screed.
Child Abuse Statistics. Thanks to Eve & Jane blaming all manner of violence exclusively on men, I decided to look-up who actually kills the most children. Two mouse clicks later, at the Center for Disease Control website, I found that American women kill more of their own children than any other mothers in the industrialized world. A 25% increase since 1985. The stats were corroborated by the American Psychiatric Foundation and others.
Oprah Winfrey to speak. That April, Oprah was to be the keynote monologer at the big V-Day Convention in New Orleans, headlining a “star studded act” of actors and musical guests. I thought, what a perfect time & place to deliver the message about America’s Matriarchal Oppression & Violence. But how? How could I subvert this event to make an emphatic point about those abhorrent maternal child abuse and murder statistics?
The Chick-Chat-Challenge. I developed a protest idea that was smart, simple, cheap and doable. It also would have laid the maternal child abuse issue on Oprah’s front door, literally, and demanded a response. The protest was to consist of a thousand pink helium balloons, each with a Tampon attached to a shiny ribbon. The Tampons would bear the cryptic message, “Do you have the balls for the Chick-Chat-Challenge?” They were to be released in front of the V-Day Convention along with some pink smoke and funky harpsichord music. The Tampons would act as ballast so the balloons would linger around. The follow-up protest was to take place a couple weeks later, on Mother’s Day, in front of Harpo Studios in Chicago. Protesters were to chant “You’re #1” and brandish signs with the abysmal statistics about America’s Maternal Child Abuse and Murder Crisis.
The greatest protest that never happened. I mentioned my protest idea to a few people I knew from the Chicago Sun-Times where I had some articles published about child abuse including one with the late Jeffrey Zaslow. I may have inadvertently started some cyber-rumors. Oprah was among eleven, out of seventeen headline acts, to back-out at the last minute. Ensler was reportedly weeping backstage and there were threats of class-action lawsuits. There was a press blackout of the convention which is uncharacteristic of the P.T. Barnum of Feminism. Could the ironic notion of exposing the hypocrisy of ranting about “stopping violence against women & girls” coming from women who don’t even know they kill the most children in the industrialized world, have kept Oprah and the rest away? Eleven out of seventeen no-shows, that’s a lot. Maybe it was the sushi, but it sounds more like ‘the pink flu’ to me.
Oprah more inclusive. Since that spring in 2008 there has been a noticeable difference in Oprah Show programming. She’s recently dealt with some horrific maternal abuse cases like pandering, starvation and caged confinement. Not at all “hot topics” for the Daytime Viewing crowd. She’s also expressed the need for stricter punishment for maternal abusers.
I’ll always wonder if cyber-rumors of the Chick-Chat-Challenge had an influence.
CassandraSays, I just read part of that tedious thread. And it has become obvious that he’s piling up abused kids as a springboard.
Seriously? You’re taking credit for the unknown reasons why Oprah backed out based on a protest you never got off the ground? Seriously.
Also dude, if you want people to read cryptic notes don’t attach them to tampons, not even clean ones. The taboo of feminine uncleanliness is simply too strong.
Um..did rev just get mod’ed?
Oops, blockquote fail AND ninjad by pillowinhell!
Glad I went to bed when I did >.<
Shorter revspinnaker — feminists are hypocrites for caring about abused women while children are still being abused because women are all murderesses.
Am I missing anything there? (Besides Oprah and the tampons, I'm not touching that anymore than I touch tampons…maybe gently by the string in other words)
Pecunium — “Sorry, I got ahead of myself.” — don’t worry about it, you answered wtf I was getting at — non-rapist men do not get upset that women question if they’re capable of rape, or if they do, it’s at whomever gave her reason to question all men.
Yes, it was only a one time thing. I agree that it would be better for people to have more parenting classes on an ongoing basis. I used to have my family enrolled in the Parents as Teachers program in Joplin, and early childhood educators would visit to check my children’s developmental milestones, give hearing checks, and answer common parenting questions. Unfortunately, there are fewer services now than before due to budget cuts, and these budget cuts happened well before the tornado. I really wish more people in the government would realize that giving support to parents and providing high quality early childhood education is a cost effective way to ensure the success of children throughout their lives.
As for what RevSpinnaker said about Oprah and tampons, I am completely baffled.
Just discovered that there are a whole heap of Eddie Izzard routines acted out by lego characters. This makes me ridiculously happy.
It’s kind of funny how Paul elam and his moderators are downvoting anyone posting on his accusation blurb concerning r/beatingwomen about how our subreddit [Shitredditsays] is actually younger. It’s very convenient that they are literally covering their eyes and shrieking whenever someone points out that time simply does not work that way.
-ArchangelleSyzygy
Finally! The prodigal son shows his true colours.
And I’LL always wonder if Pharoahe Monch dropped W.A.R. because I kept whining to my boys that I need a new Monch album. Some mysteries are meant to stay that way I guess o.O
One of rmensrights moderators does.
Argenti Aertheri, he’s either trolling or a bigot: the point he’s trying to make is “Muslims will rape Jewish women.”
MRAs will cite Elam as a key figure in their movement until you point out how crazy and misogynistic he is. Then he doesn`t represent them at all.
You say that like the entire point of this blog isn’t snarking about unpublicized (mra) bloggers.
Whooooooooops!
VoIP — I guess that makes some amount of sense then (in bigot land anyways). Amend my last sentence to end with “when the entire point is that rapists rape, not minorities.”
And no Vindicare, I don’t care which religion has more numbers, I know enough Israeli politics to know Jews are the majority politically.
Crumbelievable — how do they manage to miss how misogynistic Elam is?! That takes serious skill points in “cognitive dissonance”. /crappy RP joke
Vindicare could save himself so much time by just cutting and pasting “I am a horrible person” instead of writing new comments.
I’m still trying to figure out “those colorful and attractive biohazard containers” — does Elam not understand that they’re red because red is culturally understood to mean STOP? There’s so much fail in Elam’s rant and *that* is wtf I keep coming back to >.<
CassandraSays — yeah, yeah he could.
Elam is also celebrating Mother’s Day by suggesting I had something to do with creating Reddit’s appalling “beatingwomen” subreddit as part of a nefarious plot to make the Men’s Rights movement look even worse than it manages to do on its own.
Why don’t you do a report on the “beatingwomen” subreddit? And yes, it is a “nefarious” plot to make the Men’s Rights Movement look bad, so don’t be a sullen little bitch about it. Embrace it, live with it, and accept that you really are fellow dogmatists in the crusade against the Men’s Rights Movement.
Anyway, I look forward to the new dox when they arrive. I do not endorse this course of action, but it couldn’t happen to a nicer gaggle of bigots and… well, feminists have been pulling this crap for years.
@Argenti Aertheri
I apologize if I was a bit rude earlier. I jumped to the conclusion that you were being obtuse, which many people on this forum will be when someone questions their ideology. To summarize, I was saying that feminists tend to filter and even doctor their comments more heavily than MRAs do, and MRAs do not avoid but seek out adversity. In fact, we’re just about having a block party over this whole “beatingwomen” fiasco – it gives us free publicity and showcases the integrity of our opposition.
@ideologuereview — While I still disagree with your view on MRAs vs feminists, the apology is appreciated. Your definition of adversity seems to be angry ranting, not civil disagreement, and in that sense, MRAs probably are more willing to tolerate it — feminists prefer the conversation actually being going somewhere, not just going in angry little circles. Assume for a moment for hypothetical purposes that all MRAs are men and all feminists are women — which group conveys more respect for members of the opposite gender? Bearing in mind that this entire thread is about how evil mother’s day is…
If reddit, or somewhere else, were hosting a “beatingmen” forum, feminists would not be “just about having a block party” — unless the point was to raise money to fight the forum with. We don’t celebrate violence, full stop. Also, considering that the “beatingwomen” subreddit does have a bunch of MRM members (and even mods iirc), you may also want to reconsider whether it’s “showcas[ing] the integrity of [your] opposition” or merely highlighting how acceptable violence is to the MRM.