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Happy Mother’s Day, the A Voice for Men way. (Note: Much worse than you’d think.)

Over on A Voice for Men, our dear friend Paul Elam has come up with an interesting new way to celebrate Mother’s Day – with what is essentially the longest, least funny, and most rage-filled “Yo Mama” joke ever. (Indeed, it’s so rage-filled I should probably put a Trigger Warning right about here.)

Elam starts off by addressing the mothers of the world, suggesting he’s got a “a socially conscious twist” on the traditional Mother’s Day celebrations. Mothers, he argues, should gather together the flowers they’ve been given by their loved ones and:

Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death.

You probably didn’t see that coming, did you? He goes on.

Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics. …

Maybe you can lay virtual flowers at your computers to honor all the children that you and your sisters have pimped out to pedophiles, or perhaps the blossoms could be placed in your child’s room, which also doubles as your preferred place to abuse your own.

Oh, but you say you haven’t done any of these things, and that abortion isn’t actually the same as infanticide? No matter. Elam has an answer for that:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

If you are a mother, particularly one of the many abusers, or just one that has remained silent as your sisters have beaten, choked, stabbed, burned, drowned, abused, neglected, dumped, tortured and otherwise done the unspeakable to the most defenseless among us, then I hope to see those flowers in your murderous hands, paying homage to those that have been unfortunate enough to be placed in your path. …

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

You see, Elam has decided that we live in an era of “collective guilt,” and that the evil (straw) feminists who go around blaming all men for the actions of a few – through such dastardly things like rape awareness seminars – deserve to find themselves collectively blamed as well.

Except that Elam’s post goes well beyond an  ill-conceived and ill-intentioned attempt at “turnabout is fair play.” This isn’t a piece of Swiftian satire. He actually believes all this hateful nonsense, and says as much:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes. It is not that women deserve to be collectively regarded as child abusers and killers. Most aren’t. Most are actually very good to their children and can even be trusted with the children of others. But that truth is not what is important here.

What is important is the children, or the principle, or whatever other bullshit we make up to convince ourselves it is not about demonizing women when that is exactly what we are doing.

I have to confess I have no idea what he’s trying to say in the second paragraph here. Did he mean to say “men” instead of “women?” If so, this is an interesting little slip.

He continues:

The fact is that mothers are more dangerous than fathers where it concerns children. They always have been. It is only a few percentage points in that direction, but of course in a White Ribbon way, it is more than enough to justify pointing a finger at your entire sex and feeling superior as we watch you atone for the unspeakable acts of a minority.

So, suck it up ladies. If you knew about White Ribbon and said nothing to object to it; if in general you have remained silent or actively participated as the image of the male half of the population has been reduced to that of a depraved threat, the step up and get your flowers. You deserve every last petal, stem and thorn.   

I imagine Elam chuckling a bit as he typed that final word.

And a happy Mother’s Day to you, too!

Oh, and if you found yourself wondering about that “White Ribbon” thing, Elam is evidently (as best I can figure it) referring either to the women who, during World War I, handed out white ribbons to men who didn’t enlist in the army. Or he’s referring to this contemporary campaign to fight violence against women. But I don’t live inside Elam’s head, so I’m not sure what he meant, or why he seems to think that all women would know about either campaign, much less have any responsibility for them.

NOTE: Elam is also celebrating Mother’s Day by suggesting I had something to do with creating Reddit’s appalling “beatingwomen” subreddit as part of a nefarious plot to make the Men’s Rights movement look even worse than it manages to do on its own.

You may notice that Elam presents no actual evidence to back up his claims. There is no such evidence, because Elam’s accusations are utterly and completely untrue.

I have nothing whatsoever to do with r/beatingwomen. Nothing. I don’t know anything about who created it, or what their aim was beyond laughing at pictures and videos of violence against women. As I’ve said before, it’s a vile place. I think Reddit should shut it down.

 

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Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

“So basically, as far as I can tell, they just want to impregnate us with impunity, have us sit down, shut up and raise their offspring at no cost to them whatsoever, and then blame us for having a shitty overworked life and propose to cut more social programs that actually help us?”

I think they see the 50s and before as some perfect golden era where men worked and then went home and dinner was made and the kids were perfectly silent, etc. (Otherwise I’m pretty sure you nailed it) — Either that or they’d just get vasectomies and stop worrying about it.

(To the MRAs who will surely go “she should get a tubal, I’m not getting snipped” go do some damned medical research, a vasectomy is a lot safer)

pangea
12 years ago

A man stabbed a random woman he didn’t even know to death in broad daylight last week because he wanted to “get back at all the women” who had wronged him.

Oh wow. Do you have a link to the article? I’m curious.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

I think they see the 50s and before as some perfect golden era where men worked and then went home and dinner was made and the kids were perfectly silent, etc.

That would explain why they (Paul in particular) always use phrases like “60 years of feminist oppression”. They`re nostalgic for the good old days when women would just shut up and cook meatloaf for the men.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

@BlueBee — As much as it pains me to say they’re right about something, that stat appears valid —

More than two-fifths (45.2%) of perpetrators were men and more than one-half (53.6%) were women; 1.2 percent were of unknown sex. (Page 75)

Correlation remains not causation though, and since most single parents are mothers, there’s at least one obvious other variable that needs consideration here. (That’s also based of CPS reports, so there’s the additional problem that single mothers are more likely to be reported, whether the stresses of single parenthood makes single parents more likely to abuse or not.)

In other words, they’re right, but only if they yet again refuse to actually read the damned statistics.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Damn, someone has mommy issues. Also, Antz’s already tenuous connection to reality seems to be deteriorating further every day.

BlueBee
BlueBee
12 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri- Thanks! I’m so glad there are all these smart people here to explain me things

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Not a problem BlueBee, I’m glad my psych degree is actually good for something.

Also, I wasn’t trying to say that single parents are more likely to abuse because they’re terrible people but that because there are more single mothers than single fathers there may simply be more opportunities for mothers to abuse. In any case, that statistic is a straight “as reported” number, not a study into the causes of abuse.

BlueBee
BlueBee
12 years ago

Argenti Aertheri- I understand where you’re going with the comment. Don’t worry.

By degree is somewhat useless.

BlueBee
BlueBee
12 years ago

My degree…

chocomintlipwax
12 years ago

Next they’ll be saying that everyone on Reddit is David Futrelle.

Actually … I wish that were true. It would give me some comfort. :/

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

In other words, they’re right, but only if they yet again refuse to actually read the damned statistics.

Even in the very rare instances that MRAs happen on a statistic or a story that has some merit , the takeaway is always something like “This proves that women suck” or “This is why we must fuck up some feminists’ shit!”

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Yeah, even though child abuse is a children’s rights issue and children’s rights are largely supported by feminists

And anyways, doesn’t NWO at least want to be able to beat his kids? So it’s only wrong when the mother does it? o.O?

@chocomintlipwax — agreed, David can only be in one place at a time, even if he were all of them and a complete foaming at the mouth murderous asshole, there’s still only one of him. (David I don’t think any of that is true of course) Less assholes to have to avoid would be more better though.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

I have received information, from a source that will remain anonymous, indicating that David Futrelle is actually ten really really small people standing on each other’s shoulders. This explains how David has his finger in every false-flag operation against MRAs out there.

It also explains why he always wears a trenchcoat in public, and why his head is so small.

Yoyo
Yoyo
12 years ago

@argenti, even playing with the raw figures re male/female abuse of children there is a great difference between the mentally ill quiver full mum forced to have her 5th child in a trailer who finally snaps and kills them and the self centered ex husband who calls his ex wife while he throws children off a bridge.
Both are wrong wrong wrong but one is sad wrong and one is sick making wrong.
Yes I want both males who write this tripe and women forced to live with the outcome to get help but while the MRAs are still stuck in virtual world the people who need actual help are the children and women trying to survive in the cold hard world.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@speedbudget

I was expecting Gold Digger when I read that, or just about anything from 808’s and Heartbreak. Runaway’s a little too self-aware, I think. Or at least it is the way I parse it.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

I mean, seriously:

“If you ain’t no punk, holler “we want pre-nup”, yeah, it’s something that we need to have, ‘cos when she leave your ass, she gon’ leave with half”

mra.txt

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

BlueBee, have you read what dsc wrote? It was very interesting.

http://manboobz.com/2012/05/13/happy-mothers-day-the-a-voice-for-men-way-note-much-worse-than-youd-think/comment-page-1/#comment-153880

Numbers are useful, but they’re only as good as their analysis.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

@Yoyo, while I agree there’s a difference between the over-stressed mother and narcissistic father in your examples, child abuse really, really isn’t gendered. Antidotes are still not data, but of the abusive parents I personally know, there’s my father and two friends’ mothers and all three sets of parents were married until after the youngest hit 18 (and the one divorce was one of the husbands leaving his emotional abusive wife) — please don’t assume that they fucked their kids up less than my father managed to fuck me up >.<

I'm certainly not going to excuse my father, but abusive mothers are no better on their children's mental health. Even in your examples the children are just as dead.

I definitely think we do need much better social supports, but it isn't anything like 100% of abusive mothers are driven to it while 100% of abusive fathers are just plain assholes. Some people really just shouldn't have kids.

Also, while it would be a lot easier if all quiverfull adherents were mentally ill, they aren't, at least not until religion can be classified as a delusion anyways.

Happy
Happy
12 years ago

Antz is a classic. Elam’s returned to form, but my favorite MRA is still JohnTheOther. When it comes to deranged, verbose, nonsensical prose with an extremely paranoid punchline, no-one touches him. His “always the bridesmaid” relationship with his hero Elam is also very, very funny.

Antz is like the mad aunt who is hidden away and trotted out for special occassions.

What a dysfunctional family the MRM is.

ideologuereview
12 years ago

I think Elam got trolled, and believed the trolls because he’s a gullible deluded idiot who lives in an ideological bubble surrounded by sycophants

Really? Post a dissenting comment on five random feminist sites or blogs, then try the same for five MRA ones. We can compare data later.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Following the links in dsc’s post gets to this analysis and while I’m a bit wary of assuming a married couple is a wash out effect on the statistics, the analysis does seem valid. Scroll to the bottom for the results of the math as it’s really far more valid to be analyzing this per 1,000 children than as raw numbers. Short version: “Children are at astronomically greater risk of physical abuse in the care of a man than in the care of a woman.”

Kyrie thank you for noting that, I’d missed the source of the math the first time through.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

ideologuereview — for one, wtf are you talking about? For two, n=5 is not enough to consider data in a statistical sense.

ideologuereview
12 years ago

“Children are at astronomically greater risk of physical abuse in the care of a man than in the care of a woman.”
Yes, and men are about twenty times as evil as women. Or at least that’s what the incarceration statistics say.

ideologuereview
12 years ago

@Arg
I feel it would be condescending to mansplain what I just wrote to you, so I’ll just excise the relative section to remove confusion:

who lives in an ideological bubble surrounded by sycophants
Really? Post a dissenting comment on five random feminist sites or blogs

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

a dissenting comment

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