Over on A Voice for Men, our dear friend Paul Elam has come up with an interesting new way to celebrate Mother’s Day – with what is essentially the longest, least funny, and most rage-filled “Yo Mama” joke ever. (Indeed, it’s so rage-filled I should probably put a Trigger Warning right about here.)
Elam starts off by addressing the mothers of the world, suggesting he’s got a “a socially conscious twist” on the traditional Mother’s Day celebrations. Mothers, he argues, should gather together the flowers they’ve been given by their loved ones and:
Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.
Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death.
You probably didn’t see that coming, did you? He goes on.
Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics. …
Maybe you can lay virtual flowers at your computers to honor all the children that you and your sisters have pimped out to pedophiles, or perhaps the blossoms could be placed in your child’s room, which also doubles as your preferred place to abuse your own.
Oh, but you say you haven’t done any of these things, and that abortion isn’t actually the same as infanticide? No matter. Elam has an answer for that:
This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.
If you are a mother, particularly one of the many abusers, or just one that has remained silent as your sisters have beaten, choked, stabbed, burned, drowned, abused, neglected, dumped, tortured and otherwise done the unspeakable to the most defenseless among us, then I hope to see those flowers in your murderous hands, paying homage to those that have been unfortunate enough to be placed in your path. …
In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.
You see, Elam has decided that we live in an era of “collective guilt,” and that the evil (straw) feminists who go around blaming all men for the actions of a few – through such dastardly things like rape awareness seminars – deserve to find themselves collectively blamed as well.
Except that Elam’s post goes well beyond an ill-conceived and ill-intentioned attempt at “turnabout is fair play.” This isn’t a piece of Swiftian satire. He actually believes all this hateful nonsense, and says as much:
Now, do I really mean all this? Yes. It is not that women deserve to be collectively regarded as child abusers and killers. Most aren’t. Most are actually very good to their children and can even be trusted with the children of others. But that truth is not what is important here.
What is important is the children, or the principle, or whatever other bullshit we make up to convince ourselves it is not about demonizing women when that is exactly what we are doing.
I have to confess I have no idea what he’s trying to say in the second paragraph here. Did he mean to say “men” instead of “women?” If so, this is an interesting little slip.
He continues:
The fact is that mothers are more dangerous than fathers where it concerns children. They always have been. It is only a few percentage points in that direction, but of course in a White Ribbon way, it is more than enough to justify pointing a finger at your entire sex and feeling superior as we watch you atone for the unspeakable acts of a minority.
So, suck it up ladies. If you knew about White Ribbon and said nothing to object to it; if in general you have remained silent or actively participated as the image of the male half of the population has been reduced to that of a depraved threat, the step up and get your flowers. You deserve every last petal, stem and thorn.
I imagine Elam chuckling a bit as he typed that final word.
And a happy Mother’s Day to you, too!
Oh, and if you found yourself wondering about that “White Ribbon” thing, Elam is evidently (as best I can figure it) referring either to the women who, during World War I, handed out white ribbons to men who didn’t enlist in the army. Or he’s referring to this contemporary campaign to fight violence against women. But I don’t live inside Elam’s head, so I’m not sure what he meant, or why he seems to think that all women would know about either campaign, much less have any responsibility for them.
NOTE: Elam is also celebrating Mother’s Day by suggesting I had something to do with creating Reddit’s appalling “beatingwomen” subreddit as part of a nefarious plot to make the Men’s Rights movement look even worse than it manages to do on its own.
You may notice that Elam presents no actual evidence to back up his claims. There is no such evidence, because Elam’s accusations are utterly and completely untrue.
I have nothing whatsoever to do with r/beatingwomen. Nothing. I don’t know anything about who created it, or what their aim was beyond laughing at pictures and videos of violence against women. As I’ve said before, it’s a vile place. I think Reddit should shut it down.
Wow. Elam manages to be verbose, hateful and boring all at the same time. I can just imagine him re-reading his words over and over again with a sense of smug self-satisfaction, not realising how ridiculous he looks to the non-delusional.
It’s difficult to imagine how anybody could make guys like Elam look any worse than what they do for themselves. I’m still catching my breath from the defense of Josh Powell that went on over on The Spearhead.
I think the most damning thing Paul Elam could do at this point is announce that David Futrelle writes A Voice For Men.
I’m also not sure what anyone could say that is worse than what these guys say straight out in their posts. Elam is supposed to be one of the “moderate” guys too.
MRAs, trying as hard as they can to be horrible people.
Wow. I assumed most MRAs at least made exceptions for their mothers, sisters, etc. … this is just really gross.
I don’t really approve of the whole giving a white ribbon to people who don’t go to war thing (I thought it was a white feather, though?) but I didn’t speak out against it while it was happening, because it was like ninety-five years ago.
@Bostonian, I don’t think they really need to TRY; it seems to come naturally.
I don’t know anything to rap, but oh gawd, that’s so bad it hurts.
I read all the comments on the AVfM article about r/beatingwomen subject, and no one seems to need proof of what he says. The only person who goes against the flow is SRSister, who is promptly banned and Elam just says basically “yes are responsible”, without even trying to pretend he has proof.
And they all laugh and say ow much better they are, are evil and pitiful and childish we are, but none of them is a bit curious about the proof. And that says a lot about it, because whenever there is a conspiracy there is “proof”. Bad argument, mistakes, lies, fabricated proofs,… but proof anyway. Nobody just says “we never went to the moon” or “aliens are real” without showing a blurry picture of ET, or showing you that the flag stand up without wind, because who would listen otherwise?
But the aVfMers apparently don’t care. And that shows they don’t wont equality, truth or justice, they just want their cause and leaders to win.
I don’t get the abortion part. I get it from religious type, ever sperm is sacred and all that, but for MRAs? No abortion means more unwanted children, and that means more fathers with unwanted children, more men who will have to take care and/or pay for unwanted children, and probably more men who will feel obliged to stay with a woman they don’t love, for the child (who might be, gasp, a girl!) and/or their reputation sake’s. How do men win?
Do any of the MRAs actually disapprove of r/beatingwomen? It seems like if they’re going to denounce it as an evil feminist plot, they’d need to stop defending/cheering for/wanking to it for five minutes.
Kyrie – For serious. If you’re against marriage, want women to have sex with you, and don’t want to pay child support, abortion ought to be a godsend.
Can I just say that “Dr. F” is continuing his stellar run of bizarre comments over on the AVfM site?
If they’re clowns… WHY ARE THEY ZIPPERED UP IN CLOWN SUITS?!?!?!!!?!
Then he talks about flesh dominoes, and Nazis, and crocodiles. I kind of wish he would troll us. We could have some fun with this one.
I’ll just leave you with this:
That post about /rbeatingwomen completely blows my mind. These guys at AVfM are really, seriously, delusional. I have never seen any group so completely out of touch with reality. They spend day after day spewing hate and bile, advocating violence against women under a thin veil of plausible denial, and then they try to pin a hate sight their fellows created on the people it targets, because, you know “conspiracy” and it could make them look bad. I literally can not fathom how they can say something like that and expect people to believe it. How stupid are they? How stupid do they think everyone else is?
Of course its anonymous. Because its completely made up. I want to know what supposed “proof” agent orange has that convinced him David/SRS created that subreddit. I would ask, but apparently you have to register to comment, and I don’t want to give anyone like him my email.
Because any excuse for Astronautilus is a good one, here’s one more:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FdUdvajOp0]
And this whole r/beatingwomen thing just boggles me. Isn’t one of the mods of r/mr a frequent contributor there or something? How do they suppose that was faked? Is he a secret feminist mole? (Also from that post, I’m curious how any part of the SPLC affair “blew up in their face,” as he put it. Anyone know what the hell he’s talking about?)
I prefer the misogynist classics, at least they have a good beat and flow to them to bob your head to while getting offended.
The thing that gets me is, why would anyone need to create these additional sub-reddits to make r/MR look bad? It’s delusional and bizarre, along with the idea that David and ManBoobz commenters are somehow orchestrating what r/SRS does. Someone please pass the tinfoil hats, there’s paranoia in the air!
I like when Lord Elam tells SRSister that she can be allowed back if she apologizes to all the men there. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Oh, right, some guy with a blog and a nasty case of the delusions. YAWN.
I know this sounds awful but I sincerely hope Elam’s mother is dead, or just doesn’t know about his alter ego.
Seriously, Elam doesn’t give a fraction of a shit about aborted fetuses, shaken babies, or abused children. He just pretends he does because it gives him yet another opportunity to write furious screeds about how much he hates women.
Tell me again, boys, how you’re not a hate group.
Look, this is a drama invented by Elam to pay the rent. There hasn’t been a drama for a month or so, and gas costs a lot. He’s unemployed and desperate and has no qualms about taking other men’s food money. He fastens like a leech on sites that have something to say, like this one, and piggybacks. His site isn’t non-profit – does anyone seriously believe he’s reporting his “donations” to the appropriate tax authorities?
Men actually assault and rape children in higher numbers as well as higher percentages. :Abuse as in “physical assault and rape” is more commonly done by fathers than mothers. :Only neglect has more numbers from mothers, and that’s still a lower percentage by far compared to their rates of being the primary caretaker. There is a not at all inconsiderable amount of scholarship in regards to bias in terms of what is considered neglect when it comes to different types of parents (poor people are sometimes considered neglectful just for being poor, black or native parents are more likely to be deemed neglectful for behaviors that go unpunished in white parents, particularly wealthy white parents, etc.). Even if you look at neglect that is actually provably dangerous, the typical case involves a low income teenager with little education and social support making mistakes out of ignorance. While intentional and malicious neglect does occasionally happen, it is far less common than neglect due to lack of education and skills. I’ve dealt with both types of neglectful parents, and those who just don’t know any better benefit a lot from the sort of education and parenting classes that conservatives love to gut. My mother used to work for a state agency that did GED education and parenting classes for low income parents, and it has been cut, she got laid off. People who conflate a man stabbing a child with a fifteen year old homeless girl who doesn’t know that koolaid should not be considered juice for kids should fuck right off.
Look, some mothers are abusive, but a lower percentage than fathers and other men, especially when it comes to physical and sexual assaults against children. This bullshit conservative lies against mothers and single mothers as a group needs to stop. http://www.randijames.com/2009/03/mother-vs-father-child-abuse.html
Oh wow! My being on a computer means I must be pimping out children!! Not.
Uh Elam dude, if you demand to be able to fuck women and as you point out, your birth control is limited in both forms and efficacy, what exactly should be done with unwanted pregnancies? As it stands, men pay a small amount towards the welfare of the child. And you bitch about it incessantly. If children go to orphanages, you’ll still be paying with higher taxes.
So, kindly leave women alone or stop bitching about aborted fetuses.
I don’t think the post is really about abuse of children. I think it’s a coded whine about how terrible it is that he has to hear that rape is sometimes committed by men, and how he feels personally attacked every time someone says men commit rape, so how would women like it if they were personally attacked for child abuse?
But he also thinks that women really should all be personally attacked for child abuse, so the message gets a bit confused.
I’m sorry, but Kanye West already wrote the best MRA anthem ever. I don’t know why anyone else is trying.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm5iA4Zupek&w=560&h=315%5D
Thanks, darksidecat, for the statistical proof. Let’s keep in mind, though, that this isn’t about proof, it’s about a guy who makes his living off hating on women. Don’t expect logic or facts.
It’s kind of funny/sad, because it seems like every MRA argument by analogy falls apart this way. “This is ridiculous, it’s like saying all women [absurdly horrible thing]! Also, all women really do [absurdly horrible thing]!”
Yep. And “Women all XYZ men, and that’s terrible! How would you like it if we XYZ’d you?”
“…Also, incidentally, we really should all go and XYZ women.”