As you may be aware, Ferdinand Bardamu of In Mala Fide has taken a brave and bold stance against “fat chicks.” That in itself is not very surprising, or interesting, really. But in a recent post he offers a take on the fat acceptance movement that betrays an strange bit of … paranoia, maybe?
After a few uninspired swipes at “fat-assed she-beasts and big-titted blubberboys” and the “femilosers” on Tumblr who recently batted around an anti-“fat chick” post from his blog, he makes this strange pronouncement:
These histrionic little girls are full of it. They don’t want fat acceptance — they want to FORCE men to be attracted to their endless rolls of fat and their cheesy crotch creases. Fortunately, their emotional delicateness will ensure that they will fail. We are the Patriarchs, and we’re coming to take back what’s ours. Beware.
Ferdy, don’t worry. The fat chicks of the world aren’t going to FORCE you to lust after them, and wouldn’t even if they could. I haven’t conducted a poll or anything, but I’m fairly certain that the fat women of the world are just fine with you not being attracted to them. Heck, I’m pretty sure most skinny women would prefer that you not be attracted to them either. They really don’t want your lucky charms.
Also, the weird little bit at the end there, the thing about “coming to take back what’s ours?” In The Incredibles, they called that “monologuing.” I don’t know quite what motivates so many manopshereians to want to talk like comic book supervillains. But it is sort of adorable.
@Yoyo — “maybe it’s an inherent part of our make up? I hope not but I know we can make it a bit better if we are just a bit conscious of the baggage we let slip out?” — my undergrad was in psychology, and our brain are wired to do a sort of like-me/not-like-me as shorthand quickie processing (I am massively oversimplifying neuroscience here FTR)
I don’t think those classifications have to be used to assholeish ends though. IIRC, this is at least part of where our love for labels comes from too though, we can then infer certain other things and not have to do 101 all day — eg “white gay urban males” tells me a lot about the group in general, but nothing about the individuals. I think we only turn to assholes when we forget that, or, as you implied, unconsciously let the baggage slip out.
Not that my two-bits really matter, but I am not all that concerned about how many people are attracted to me (of whatever gender).
Do I like to think I’m attractive, in a generic sense? Yes. Does it matter to me? No.
I have ample proof that the women I care about it mattering to, find me attractive, so the only time it matters when someone else finds me attractive is if it’s someone who chooses to share that fact with me.
Then it’s moderately flattering; if they can accept my reaction. If they can’t (or won’t) accept it with some modicum of, if not grace, at least decorum, it’s not flattering, it’s creepy.
But if they look, and enjoy, and go their merry way, with a better mood, that’s no matter to me, neither good, nor bad.
So here’s a thing. One morning I was sitting in the living room in my robe, drinking my coffee and kind of waking up, when my brother (dressed in shorts and a tank top) came in and told me helpfully, “You’re getting awfully fat.” I replied, “Oh yeah? Well, you’ve got skinny legs.”
He was outraged and hurt, and didn’t wear shorts again for 10 years.
Magpie’s favourite quick meal: microwave a great big unpeeled potato, cut a cross in the top and pour in baked beans, sprinkle a bit of grated cheese on top, and pop it back in for a minute (or leave it to cool the spud and heat the beans)
@argenti, I admit I am a Luddite when it comes to new media and therefore I may be missing the subtleties of the medium. (don’t even do Facebook). I’m not sure if I am missing your subtleties or I am not expressing myself well. My point was that even within non mainstream communities we vcan all find ourselves carrying baggage that prevent an honorable and fair viewing of other people. When this translates to hate speech even from those we would nominally see as allies we should speak up.
Yes we all see people as amorphous groups -for example I have an instinctive distrust of police and people who vote Conservative (weirdly called Liberal in my country). but I do try and push past that.
Yes not every member of the AIDS Coucil was a white urban male but they were the dominant group and actually campaigned to ensure that women with aids and IDU got less money for treatment.
I know this has got a long way from fat shaming and I apologise. Just trying to clarify where I think we all f..k up.
@LOGIC- Wow, fallacies for everyone. I think you should change your name, bro.
As for whether or not I care if people of my preferred gender think I’m attractive- I am flattered when people think I’m pretty (like very very flattered) but it certainly doesn’t hurt my relationship with any given individual if they don’t? There’s a good friend of mine, where it is very obvious that I think he is attractive and very obvious that he doesn’t think I am, and we joke about it, and it’s never hurt our friendship. I also tend to care even less when I am partnered (single right now), because I’m receiving attention from my partner.
@Yoyo, I think we just talked past each other’s points. I think I get what you were going for though, and certainly agree with:
“When this translates to hate speech even from those we would nominally see as allies we should speak up.”
Not to continue the derail too much further but “actually campaigned to ensure that women with aids and IDU got less money for treatment” what? o.O?! (Yoyo, that’s an expression of shock and confusion if you aren’t familiar with the o.O face)
Also, please don’t blame yourself if I didn’t make sense, I suspect I only make sense about half the time anyways, that one’s on me not you. (And my apologies if I’m just causing more confusion)
@LOGIC — that is indeed an impressive piece of fail you’ve got there.
One, simple, yes or no question, and please, answer with yes or no here — so if a woman is out in public she must be attractive and available for sex, or it’s misandry?
Please confirm or deny whether I’m reading this right.
LOGIC reads as either POE, or disciple of NWO.
It’s just all of NWO’s comments on women’s “sexuality” distilled into a coherent pair of paragraphs.
@Precunium- Yeah I would say Poe as well, but it’s SO HARD to tell with MRA assholes.
I’m about 99% sure Logic is a Poe, but then, I still can’t believe Tom “EVERYTHING IS WHORES” Martin wasn’t a Poe, so who knows?
@logic HAS to be a Poe. Either that or this close (fingers 1cm apart) from a stalker rapist wannabe..
@argenti, thanks I think we’re generally on the same page but I too was totally WTF and then depressed that the men of the aids council would and did campaign against women with HIV and IDU with HIV. Limited budget, and they saw themselves as more deserving, not all memebers but certainly those with control of the committee .
Back to topic can anyone explain to me the MRAs would even want to have sex with women if they hate us all sooooo much? Is it because they can only frame sex as either dominance or point scoring?
Invisibility or sex, ladies. Your choice.
Yoyo: It’s because they see sex as something, “men” do. if they don’t get to have sex (and on their terms) they aren’t real men.
I’m not familiar with Poe, but Pecunium’s right about those paragraphs being coherent, and that seems to be impossible for NWO. Could be Poe, idk, but I doubt it’s NWO, if it is, that should perhaps be the preface to the Book of Learn’ as it’d be the most coherent thing he’s ever written.
I am not sure if you meant it this way but poe refers to poe’s law.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law
Invisibility or sex isn’t really that hard of a choice, invisibility wins every time.
@LOGIC — ok I did read you right then. So what you’re saying is that if a woman needs to be out in public, on her way to work, or running errands, she needs to be sexy available at all times?
Would you like to adopt the burqa as well?
@not-LOGIC — an NWO gem from that Pell thread I’m still digging through (and omgs is it hilarious) — “After a boy/man goes to sleep, he knows tommorow will be identical to today. He’ll wake to a mental smackdown, he’ll go out to the real world and be sexually aroused and taunted by all the animals in heat who’ll point the finger at his lack of self control.”
LOGIC has managed not to call women animals thus far, another point against him being NWO.
@Yoyo, blarg, I think I see wtf their issue was too — they didn’t choose to be gay, whereas one chooses to go into sex work or inject drugs — rather too similar to the back on topic of “well she chose to be fat”
sexually not sexy*
@pecunium, so where does that leave gay MRAs? Do they exist? Are they all negging in bath houses? Face plant!! Somehow I find it hard to believe that any healthy human being would be sucked into this hateful tripe. As one of the very first people on this thread implied who get their validation from whether stray people are attracted to them?
As a bad example there are people who get their jollies from all sorts of f..kid up stuff like wounds. Urghhh. Why would anyone care whether the absolute creeps that are MRAs are attracted to them except for working how much to put aside for protection litigation.
I think it’s more like OzyLOGICas, although zie usually makes zir trolling obvious. But it’s got zir hallmarks—minus, of course, the all-important “gina tingles.”
Argenti: It’s not NWO. He lacks the sense of the absurd to pull it off. I think arglebargle is actually how his brain works. I think it’s someone channeling the Essential NWO; someone who understands how to structure.
Kind of terrifying, actually.
@argent, you are right on that is what the boys argued, but then the haemophiliacs argued that they didn’t choose to have haemophilia whereas the gay men chose to have sex. See, it is a stupid lose lose argument . The idea of innocent victims sucks.
Back to topic, my daughter is an extremely conventionally attractive young woman in most ways, white blond , big breasts etc (not like my scrawny ranga physique) however she find the unsought attanetion from dickheads like these MRAs totally toxic. Where they think it is a compliment she and most women find it a burden.
Scuse the typos
It’s not me, I generally make my identity and Poe status obvious. It seems only polite.
My hallmarks are all taken from the Roissyite pickup artists, so it is not impossible that someone else acquires them, although I too think Poe.