As you may be aware, Ferdinand Bardamu of In Mala Fide has taken a brave and bold stance against “fat chicks.” That in itself is not very surprising, or interesting, really. But in a recent post he offers a take on the fat acceptance movement that betrays an strange bit of … paranoia, maybe?
After a few uninspired swipes at “fat-assed she-beasts and big-titted blubberboys” and the “femilosers” on Tumblr who recently batted around an anti-“fat chick” post from his blog, he makes this strange pronouncement:
These histrionic little girls are full of it. They don’t want fat acceptance — they want to FORCE men to be attracted to their endless rolls of fat and their cheesy crotch creases. Fortunately, their emotional delicateness will ensure that they will fail. We are the Patriarchs, and we’re coming to take back what’s ours. Beware.
Ferdy, don’t worry. The fat chicks of the world aren’t going to FORCE you to lust after them, and wouldn’t even if they could. I haven’t conducted a poll or anything, but I’m fairly certain that the fat women of the world are just fine with you not being attracted to them. Heck, I’m pretty sure most skinny women would prefer that you not be attracted to them either. They really don’t want your lucky charms.
Also, the weird little bit at the end there, the thing about “coming to take back what’s ours?” In The Incredibles, they called that “monologuing.” I don’t know quite what motivates so many manopshereians to want to talk like comic book supervillains. But it is sort of adorable.
Most definitely not, but you knew that already.
I’m currently attending a conference where I’m surrounded by large numbers of exceptionally attractive women in their early twenties – for some reason, they seem to get all the admin and guest liaison jobs (misandry, probably). None of them have made the slightest impression on me beyond that surface observation and their ability to do their jobs (a) because I’m very happily married, and (b) because the chances of them responding favorably were I to make any kind of move are somewhere between nonexistent and 0.000000000000001%. And I’ve heavily rounded up that last figure.
And since this is the situation, I don’t have any sexual thoughts about them in the first place. What’s the point?
Really interesting stuff about being thinner/smaller, Pecunium. I’ve had similar experiences in completely different contexts.
I’m under five feet tall, under a hundred pounds, slightly built. People don’t expect me to be able to do ANYTHING. But even though I’ve not taken this to any experimental level, it seems like I am strong for my size. I got a bookstore job for which I was told I had to be able to lift 30 pounds over my head, and some doubt was cast about my ability to meet this requirement. It wasn’t an issue whatsoever. People were always trying to do things for me because I was teeny. When I did them myself, people were gobsmacked.
Being small in a world built for bigger, sturdier people requires you to walk faster, stand on your tiptoes a lot, be able to keep up, take stairs that are bigger to you, all that. And then people observe that I can fly on the DDR pad and they’re like “It’s just because you’re little.” Well, yes. And because being little makes you deal with the same things a normal-sized world has to deal with, so you get stronger. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY CALVES, people.
Also, when I was sick a couple years ago and I lost 6 pounds, I was mocked for discussing the grave issue of losing 6 pounds until I reminded them a drop from under a hundred pounds to closer to ninety pounds was like losing almost 10% of my body. When was the last time they lost 10% of their body? Right. (Math helps, doesn’t it?)
I have a male friend who’s fat and sometimes people think he’s probably a weakling because of that whole “fat = unhealthy” misconception. They have found out the hard way that he can kick an ass or two. You also have to be strong to cart around a body that weighs more. Some people like to mock fat people for complaining of aching feet and whatnot and just looove to say stuff like “well maybe you should lose some weight and you wouldn’t have that problem.” This crap happens to my female best friend too. She’s got pretty damn impressive endurance. I couldn’t do what she does. And yet people label her as lazy because of the width of her ass. ::sigh::
LBT: Eating disorder here, and I have panic attacks when grocery shopping. Just affirming that it happens to other people, too.
Cliff, we don’t have a Patriarchy anymore because the father is not the supreme authority in the family. I loved that when I filled out our census form in 2010, I didn’t have to list a, “head of the household.” I think what you’re referring to is equality. Take heart. We’re getting there, and there is no stopping us.
Dare I ask, if we don’t have a patriarchy and men aren’t the head of the household, why women always want to marry rich men?
/ImGoingToRegretThis
If you’re going to use words like “always” when the facts suggest “occasionally, if they’re opportunistic types”, it’s going to be quite hard to answer your question.
There are not (as many) explicit laws saying the father is the head of the household.
That doesn’t mean that the idea’s just up and evaporated.
Whetherby: Ruby’s the one who thinks that, not me.
Fair enough.
Evolution. Duh. /sarcasm
On topic (not that that matters here, usually) yeah, some people are fat. Even some lady people are fat. What are you going to do exactly? Not fuck them? Cute, but I’m sure they’ll be just fine without your fucks. Shame them into thinness? Yeah, cause that’s working sooooo well.
Ruby: Cliff, we don’t have a Patriarchy anymore because the father is not the supreme authority in the family
Umn…. no. Words have broader meanings, and what you are describing is the legal principle of paterfamilias not patriarchy.
A patriarchy is a society in which men are the default human. One in which women are seen as second class, or even third class (depending on the ability of money/social situation to determine power in the broader society).
So, while men may not be the only people considered people, they are the group which is preferred.
So we still have a patriarchal society.
When I’m worrying about the bills it’s practically all I can think about when I don’t have something else to occupy myself with. Sometimes I lie awake at night worrying about it.
And I hate when I get to feeling like this. The only bright spot is that I will eventually not feel like this.
So if this, what I feel, is the merest fraction of what anyone else on here feels like when they have to do something as banal as grocery shopping, a thing I take for granted and even feel bored and irritated by sometimes, I would like to offer them all the hugs because I know I’ve got tons of privilege and feelings as wimpy as being anxious about the bills until I can get home and turn on the Xbox can pretty much stop me dead in my tracks, and if you’re dealing with anxiety attacks much more severe than this, I admire and respect you.
Believe it or not, Arks, losing a large amount of weight doesn’t happen overnight. There is no miracle “cure”. It takes a lot of time, even if you’re taking the surgery route like I am currently, being in the UK & using the NHS. It’s not just about simply eating less, it involves completely changing your relationship with food & not using it to cope with negative feelings, for example. This needs support (I’m seeing a psychologist regularly) not nasty comments. I work full time & pay taxes, by the way, like a lot of other fat people.
Sorry, slightly incoherent rant over, long day at work but the “Move more & eat less” really boil my piss!
“We are the patriarchs, and we’ve come take back what’s ours.”
By “what’s ours” does he mean women’s vaginas? I know it enrages a lot of MRAs to realize that women are people, and their bodies aren’t pieces of property to be owned. For a woman to destroy her sexual value by gaining weight must be such a personal affront in their eyes.
I SO want to put this on a bumper sticker.
Dani: I actually HAVE solved things by waiting. A lot of my depression fits will end in a few days. Of course, I’m pretty sure that works for people of all genders too.
LBT: Oh, god, I’ve gotten “you must be anorexic” SO MANY TIMES from bullies and MRAs. *sigh* Most of the people who say such are of the “anorexia is a silly girly disease and can be easily cured by eating a sandwich” mindset as well.
Cliff: I actually do care if people sexually desire me? It feels… really validating… to have someone be attracted to me, even if I don’t want to sleep with them. (This is, of course, assuming the person respects boundaries and is otherwise not a creepy fuckhead.) But I don’t change the way I dress or act to make myself more sexually desired. There are more than enough people who like geeky androgynes in the world, I really don’t need Ferd’s penis’s approval.
I don’t think that problem is that Ferdy doesn’t like fat women … it’s that he does, and he “knows” he’s not supposed to, and he’s resolving the cognitive dissonance by declaring that the fat women are giving him the evil eye or whatever he’s on about.
arks:
I’m a little confused. Who is this “opposite sex” person you’re talking about? Last I checked there were more than three billion men, who like more than three billion different things.
I mean, overlooking your apalling (but not at all surprising) wrongness about what fat acceptance is actually about, which misinforms everything else you’re saying.
LBT: I hand light my oven every time, and I haven’t blown the house up yet. Lately I’ve had to do the same with one of the burners on the stove, too.
Fatman:
That and I think male privilege duplicates thin privilege (or compensates for fat disprivilege) in a lot of ways. Off the top of my head, say, fat people are taken less seriously by doctors, but men are taken more seriously by doctors, which mitigates that somewhat.
Cliff:
Even if I weren’t in a closed relationship, I live in a major city. If even 1% of the adult women I encounter were attracted to me, that would be more than I have the time or energy to, um, take care of. Even ignoring the harassment aspect.
And though, as with ozy, there is a certain amount of validation, changing myself with the aim of getting that feeling would defeat the purpose.
And once again I have to correct myself in the very next post: obviously I meant cis men are taken more seriously by doctors, though I suspect trans men are taken more seriously than trans women.
If it ever happens at all. It’s a common myth that losing weight just takes enough “dedication” but the reality is that once you start depriving your body of less nutrients, your body becomes better at operating on less nutrients and better at storing more fat, in case of another “famine” (or diet). This is why dieting often actually leads to weight gain, especially in people who’s genes predispose them to more fatness. It isn’t all on “will” or “drive”, a lot of it is on that losing 10% or more than your body weight is often pretty taxing on the body, and again, makes your body think it’s starving and so becomes better at storing fat, on less.
But good job on these guys “speaking out” against fatness. What bold trailblazers they are. I mean, they only have a multi-million dollar weight loss industry, most of Hollywood, and a lot of government officials behind them.
Yeah, I don’t like making assumptions about people’s sexual preferences, but his ire has the distinct feel about it of a dude who doth protest a smidge too much.
Like, dude, if you’re attracted, it’s because you’re attracted. In my experience, it’s pretty damn hard to “MAKE” someone attracted to some physical or personal trait or quirk they genuinely find unattractive.
and where are you basing this from? If you are trying to say “male privilege” you got to remember not all transmen pass as cis or not all transwomen pass as cis for that matter (and transphobic doctors might still consider them their birth gender anyway). I would probably say if a doctor knew they were a trans person of any gender they would be taken less seriously regardless of gender.
Shorter Bardamu: “I’m so tired of these fat women trying to dictate other people’s preferences! PS WE OWN YOUR BODIES BECAUSE WE ARE MEN.”
That’s something I’m starting to worry about now, Ostara, especially since I’ve lost over 10% of my original weight now. Another thing people may not realise is the surgery itself is not exactly an easy option. I’ve had a gastric balloon fitted which last six months & it was one of the most frightening experiences of my life (about half an hour with tubes down my throat, panicking that I couldn’t breathe properly). Then there’s the recovery afterward, gradually working my way up to eating normally, albeit much smaller portions, again. And I’ve it all to look forward to again next month when they remove the damn thing.
Jumbo: Trans men (if they pass) are beneficiaries of male privilege, yeah, although they also suffer from oppression for being trans. I do not think that is controversial.
Katz:
Dare I ask, if we don’t have a patriarchy and men aren’t the head of the household, why women always want to marry rich men?
/ImGoingToRegretThis
Me too because aren’t fat people all poor and making shit decisions in RubyLand?