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antifeminism evil fat fatties evil women grandiosity misogyny narcissism patriarchy PUA your time will come

Ferdinand Bardamu to fat chicks: don’t make me want you!

Syndrome, the king of monologuing.

As you may be aware, Ferdinand Bardamu of In Mala Fide has taken a brave and bold stance against “fat chicks.” That in itself is not very surprising, or interesting, really. But in a recent post he offers a take on the fat acceptance movement that betrays an strange bit of … paranoia, maybe?

After a few uninspired swipes at “fat-assed she-beasts and big-titted blubberboys” and the “femilosers” on Tumblr who recently batted around an anti-“fat chick” post from his blog, he makes this strange pronouncement:

These histrionic little girls are full of it. They don’t want fat acceptance — they want to FORCE men to be attracted to their endless rolls of fat and their cheesy crotch creases. Fortunately, their emotional delicateness will ensure that they will fail. We are the Patriarchs, and we’re coming to take back what’s ours. Beware.

Ferdy, don’t worry. The fat chicks of the world aren’t going to FORCE you to lust after them, and wouldn’t even if they could. I haven’t conducted a poll or anything, but I’m fairly certain that the fat women of the world are just fine with you not being attracted to them. Heck, I’m pretty sure most skinny women would prefer that you not be attracted to them either. They really don’t want your lucky charms.

Also, the weird little bit at the end there, the thing about “coming to take back what’s ours?” In The Incredibles, they called that “monologuing.” I don’t know quite what motivates so many manopshereians to want to talk like comic book supervillains. But it is sort of adorable.

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Unimaginative
Unimaginative
8 years ago

Finally catching up with the thread…

He was outraged and hurt, and didn’t wear shorts again for 10 years.

Wait, really?

Yep. I was a big ol’ meanie to make fun of his skinny legs when he was only trying to help me out by pointing out my gross fatness. I think he didn’t wear shorts until after he met his wife and she indoctrinated him into the mountain-biking lifestyle.

Ruby, if financial security is important to you, and its lack is a deal-breaker, that’s fine. I also have a strong need to know that I’ll have a roof over my head and regular meals. But freaking own it, woman! That’s YOU. It’s not your DNA or your gender, it’s you.

There are a lot of people who need financial security, and a lot who don’t. Some people are perfectly comfortable quitting a job and heading out on an indefinite road trip with not enough money for gas. That’s not caused by DNA either. It’s just that people have different priorities.

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

@magpie

which part of rural NSW are you? i am in a country town on the far north coast of NSW

Magpie
Magpie
8 years ago

@BigMomma

I’m central west NSW

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

@magpie,

ah by Aussie distances, you are about 2 days away from me. i haven’t travelled west much…well once when we went to collarenbri and it was starkly different to where we are.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Ruby, if financial security is important to you, and its lack is a deal-breaker, that’s fine. I also have a strong need to know that I’ll have a roof over my head and regular meals. But freaking own it, woman! That’s YOU. It’s not your DNA or your gender, it’s you.

There are a lot of people who need financial security, and a lot who don’t. Some people are perfectly comfortable quitting a job and heading out on an indefinite road trip with not enough money for gas. That’s not caused by DNA either. It’s just that people have different priorities.

There is a reason for the “starving artist” troupe, namely that art supplies trump regular meals. (One can live on 2 meals a day, living without art…that sounds intolerable) — Some of us would prefer a non-flesh-and-blood legacy Ruby, I’m still waiting to here how artist men manage to get any sex at all given women only mate with men “of status”.

Unimaginative, should I pity your brother or mock him? I kind of feel bad for him since mockery from the people close to you does hurt more and all, but then again, he started it.

Magpie
Magpie
8 years ago

BigMomma

I’m not as far out as Collie, I’m in a treechange town. So I’m envious of your warm weather, but not the floods! 😉

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

yeah, it’s flooded 3 times since we moved here but it’s a big community event. the town is protected by a levee which has held for 30yrs so far…..

the warm weather is just dandy to an ex-pat Scot…i shiver when i see those inland temperatures.

Magpie
Magpie
8 years ago

My Scot ancestors built a church – on a windy hill near Yetholme (the place they close the highway cause it snows). Must have been homesick 😉

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

NSFw (swearing)

i watched this movie in a cinema in England and was the only (fat) chick roaring with laughter. My then boyfriend and now husband (of the fat chick) got the joke but being English it wasn’t as funny

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

Fat acceptance is a joke. If these landplanets want the opposite sex to like them, then they can get off their asses and improve themselves instead of expecting others to change. That’s what guys are told all the time. If you want equality with men then that means living like men, which means you don’t get granted special treatments, sympathy or the privilege of framing everything as someone else’s fault.

LOL, you think fat acceptance is about making men who aren’t interested in fat women have sex with them. That’s cute.

And MRAs seem to confuse the ways in which you respect a person. You can specifically respect a person you know or know of for what they’ve done/who they are while simultaneously treating people with respect by default because it’s rude to disrespect people by default. They don’t seem to understand the difference between having respect for someone and treating someone with respect. It’s funny how words can slightly cary in meaning depending on context. But I guess I should run around pointing out everyone’s physical flaws to them because they haven’t earned my respect by doing anything significant that I know of.

Fatman – I think the threshold for a man being socially considered fat is a lot higher, too. There’s this whole “not fat, just a big guy” range that guys get of leeway–with women there’s nothing between “lingerie model” and “landplanet.”

Yeah, I mean, as a woman with a naturally bigger build, I’ve gotten called fat plenty of times. I am not overweight by any standards besides hollywood’s. Meanwhile men with naturally bigger builds are totally acceptable. I will never be petite unless I surgically alter my bones.

alleee
8 years ago

There are a lot of men out there who are attracted to fat women, whether they want to be or not. Some younger men who are attracted to fat women would suppress that rather than let their buddies see them with the kind of woman they really want. So they end up resenting fat women for it, and mistreating them. Think of it like the gay-hating republican evangelicals who are found out for being gay on the downlow–studies have recently shown that the more ardently against homosexuality those tested were, the more aroused they were by homosexual images.

So lets hook up these douchebags. It won’t make them stop being douchebags, but maybe more of us will understand how many people fat acceptance actually would benefit from it.

seranvali
8 years ago

Jessay:

When will these guys realize that this obsession with weight/physical attractiveness is part if their problem? They want loyalty, honesty, character, and a million other things in a potential partner but only if the woman is 8+ or whatever they’re preaching today.They miss some amazing women because ultimately looks are more important to them. Women of Character are of all shapes and sizes but you won’t even notice them if “hotness” is a prerequisite.

Who are these guys trying to kid, anyway? Fat women find partners who love them all the time. They marry(if they want) and have kids (if they want) and live happy, fulfilled lives. You only need to look around you to see them with their families. Not all women feel guilty and inferior for carrying a few extra kilos! Some deal with the issue and either decide to loose it or decide it’s not that important and move on. Some women also have more important priorities and don’t give a shit what the PUAs think of them.

Also, it seem to me that any human being who is breathing, experiencing and making a decent fist of dealing with life is worthy of respect. People start out with that and if they harm others that respect will erode. It isn’t something to be initially earned, although the way you choose to live will increase it and decent people will respect you accordingly. This is so regardless of sex.

Ruby Hypatia
Ruby Hypatia
8 years ago

Cliff, funny how you can twist what I say to make me look like I hate poor people in order to suit your prejudice. Mothers with a lot of kids have referred to them as their brood. It doesn’t matter what their financial status is. So nice try.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

The MRA approach to “respect” in a nutshell.

People like me (male, white, straight) should be granted respect as a matter of course. Everyone else (women, POC, gay people) has to earn it.

And this is one of many reasons why nobody takes them seriously.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Nice try Ruby, but you refer to yourself as having kids, poors have broods. How many kids do you think poor people commonly have? Also, can you think of any factors that might contribute to the number of children had?

Ruby, you’ve repeatedly said offensive shit regarding the poor, with an overall mentality of life being better if we’d just hurry up and die. Now you want us to view your statements as entirely innocent?

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
8 years ago

Unimaginative, should I pity your brother or mock him?

I do both, myself. To be fair, it was a long, long, long time ago, and we’ve both (more or less) grown up since then.

When will these guys realize that this obsession with weight/physical attractiveness is part if their problem? They want loyalty, honesty, character, and a million other things in a potential partner but only if the woman is 8+ or whatever they’re preaching today.

The more I observe people, the more I come to believe that people have some solid filters between them and reality. And it’s a filter like a 2-way mirror, where they just can’t see stuff from the other side.

About 10 years ago, I was looking for an administrative assistant job, and I found a classified ad that was about 4 inches long. They wanted somebody with lots of experience, and executive experience at that, could type 120 wpm, had shorthand, had an accounting background, had experience dealing with international clients, and they listed out a whole frigging novel’s worth of duties. They wanted somebody who could walk on water and spin straw into gold. The pay: $7.50 per hour.

And I hear from a LOT of people who would never, ever, ever work for less than $30 per hour that anybody they employ (like nannies, or fast food peons) should never get paid more than $10 per hour. Because, um, value for money or something.

Which leads me back to MRAs and their standards of beauty. I keep thinking about Jason Alexander in Shallow Hal. Short, balding, chubby guy is dating a supermodel, but is repulsed by her because her toes are uneven lengths. o.O Two-way mirror reality filters.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Ruby, no one has to twist your words, all we have to do is read them. Idiot.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

You know, I’d be totally willing to let Rubys’ callousness drop if she gave an apology and quit with the privileged annoucements of How Things Are Though I’ve NEVER Experienced Them Myself (TM). Its one thing to say that you think true libertarianism would be the best solution for x reasons, its another to completely deny and refuse to respond to a variety of peoples current reality. Because its not like the poor are pretty much completely ignored right now right? Right Ruby..that person who refuses to actually even say “I’m sorry to have upset you” to someone she really pissed off multiple times?

Ruby, what you fail to realize is that all you see about the poor is some massive stereotypes and prejudice. You can’t just look at someone and know how they came to be in the predicament they are in. And quite often, it was due to things largely beyond any persons control.

katz
8 years ago

Its one thing to say that you think true libertarianism would be the best solution for x reasons, its another to completely deny and refuse to respond to a variety of peoples current reality.

Possibly, but in my experience those virtually always go together.

Sharculese
Sharculese
8 years ago

Cliff, funny how you can twist what I say to make me look like I hate poor people in order to suit your prejudice. Mothers with a lot of kids have referred to them as their brood. It doesn’t matter what their financial status is. So nice try.

why would anybody need to twist your words when you make it so clear that you have nothing but contempt for the poor.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: ruby, the only difference between you and an mra is the target of your irrational hatemongering.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Tue enough that they seem to go hand in hand. Is one of the basic assumptions that under libertarianism people would have better access to means of production?

I’m picking this stuff up in bits and pieces (politics is a minor interest to me). A reasonable counter arugument might be made that liberatarianism simply doesn’t exist in a strong enough form to really see where it goes? I’m thinking of Charles Dickens era here, where there was certainly plenty of suffering to around and capitalism was completely unrestrained, but hey, I’m a bleeding heart.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

There is no difference in Rubys’ target. She hates women just as much as MRAs. Which is why she subscribes to the hypergamy theory, with the caveat that SHE shouldn’t be held to account for being a gold digger because SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. That one theory alone probably accounts for a dozen different reasons men should hate women.

Sharculese
Sharculese
8 years ago

A reasonable counter arugument might be made that liberatarianism simply doesn’t exist in a strong enough form to really see where it goes?

libertarians make this argument all the time, but there isn’t really any evidence that it’s reasonable, mostly because they manage to handwave away anything that looks remotely like what they want as not being ‘libertarian enough’

conservative libertarianism is basically a wish fulfillment game for people who are convinced society isn’t personally lauding them enough just for existing

Sharculese
Sharculese
8 years ago

SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE.

they’re all special snowflakes. that’s the thing about internet libertarians- they all rely on the same weak pseudoscience and the same tired anecdotes, and they’re all over the fucking internet, so everyone has heard their spiel about a billion times, but they can’t accept that people already see through them because ‘this time it’s ME, and i’m different’

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
8 years ago

Conservative libertarians in Canada gained enough power to do away with the Wheat Board, the only thing standing between them and companies like Monsanto fucking them over. Because the Wheat Board was preventing each individual farming from competing in the market place, and they would OBVIOUSLY do a much better job as individual negotiators than the wheat board could collectively.

People with libertarian leanings just don’t seem to think things through. Or maybe they just have big blind spots.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

The MRA approach to “respect” in a nutshell.

People like me (male, white, straight) should be granted respect as a matter of course. Everyone else (women, POC, gay people) has to earn it.

And this is one of many reasons why nobody takes them seriously.

Somehow them working at Walmart means they’ve earned respect but anyone else working at Walmart has done nothing significant with their lives. They treat it as if men are the only ones doing noble things and working noble jobs, and that no man works a shit job at all. And you know, the only way to do something noble is through your job. Being a good, selfless person who helps anyone who needs is is not someone worthy of respect, esp if they don’t have a good job.

Pecunium
8 years ago

pillowinhell: A reasonable counter arugument might be made that liberatarianism simply doesn’t exist in a strong enough form to really see where it goes?

The US had a largely libertarian society in the late 1800s. It wasn’t so great for the fair distribution of much of anything.

Libertarians tend to apply the idea that the examples one can find don’t count because there was some sort of gov’t interference, and so it was all doomed.

The real doom to libertopia is that it requires no one be venal.

Sharculese: It’s not that they are special snowflakes (or not just that). It’s that they believe the core idea (that people will not be venal), and so all the rest follows (a cynic might say they don’t care if people are venal, because they think they will be at the top of the heap; and all the people on the bottom will be there because they deserve it).

Then they point at the stories/theories/anecdotes, the way that a fundie points at The Bible, to prove that the God s/he worships is true.

Pecunium
8 years ago

Ruby: Cliff, funny how you can twist what I say to make me look like I hate poor people in order to suit your prejudice. Mothers with a lot of kids have referred to them as their brood. It doesn’t matter what their financial status is. So nice try.

I have to side with Cliff on this one.

1: It’s more than just one comment.

2: The connotations of “brood” when referring to a group, as opposed to a single unit are not the same.

3: The social connotation of referring to another group, esp. a marginalised one, as having, broods, is quite different from referring to one’s own children.

4: The context of, “my brood”, is not the same as someone making a sweeping statement about how bad it is for, “the poor”, to be, “having broods”.

5: You made a direct comparison to yourself having kids (plural), and the poor “having broods”, while decrying the excess of people in the world.

Which means you were saying that your contribution to keeping the world population at it’s present level isn’t as problematic as the contributions of poor people.

Put all of those together (even absent the first) and your use of the word brood is denigrating the poor, for nothing more than being poor.

Vindicare
Vindicare
8 years ago

Now why has Ruby this weird sn? Because Hypatia was a feminist martyr or because she was sex-negative and (ir… no, I don’t say that 😉 ) raped?

Pecunium
8 years ago

Vindicare: That’s a shite argument.

What Ruby has said is more than enough to deal with. Speculating, in a way meant to underhandedly attack her, is cowardly. If it was an attempt to finesse someone to agree with your puerile pretense of psychological prognostication, it was ham-handed.

Why, one wonders, don’t you ever engage in actual discussion?

I suspect it’s a lack of intellectual talent, perhaps even capacity. I also suspect that you don’t engage because you don’t have the chops to stand up to having ideas (as opposed to quips) responded to. It’s true that you can’t lose if you don’t fight, but you can’t win either.

As gadflies go, you aren’t much. To make the sort of quips you toss out sting, they have to be topical, and relevant. That requires wit.

Vindicare
Vindicare
8 years ago

Internet libertarians annoy me too, but honestly, I still prefer them to you “Privilege is so bad…:cry: Global justice? Derailing!!!!”-people (and yes, even Randians are better).

Snowy
Snowy
8 years ago

Vindicare don’t you have a rape apologist conference to attend or something? Better hurry, you wouldn’t want to be late!

Pecunium
8 years ago

I can see why you would think that. It’s much easier to argue with people who are wrong.

Vindicare
Vindicare
8 years ago

I’m not arguing with you, all I write here has a therapeutic value for me, but you won’t understand that…

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

Sure we will, you don’t realize how many, trolls, non trolls and in between have down the same thing. (of course, there are trollish and non-trollish way to use Manboobz in a “therapeutic” way)

Pecunium
8 years ago

Vindicare: You aren’t reading much also. We noticed (and mentioned) that you aren’t arguing.

But if a public wank makes you feel better, enjoy. It’s not as if you’re actually managing offense. That would take effort, and you are either unwilling to make the effort, or lack the talent.

Either way it’s the same to me.

E
E
8 years ago

…but I’m fairly certain that the fat women of the world are just fine with you not being attracted to them.

If that was the case there wouldn’t the fat feminist shaking their hands in righteous fury.

Pecunium
8 years ago

If that was the case there wouldn’t the fat feminist shaking their hands in righteous fury.

Right… It’s a charming idea you have that the people who are upset are actually hot for the people who hate on them. Perhaps this is a double-whammy of projection (that “feminists” hate the MRM/etc; AND lust for the assholes who say they are repulsive).

Of course this ignore the not-fat people who are saying this is wrong too.

So, that’s three strikes. You’re out.

littlem
littlem
8 years ago

“landplanets”

I wanna be a waterplanet.

#wheredeydodatat

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
8 years ago

So lets hook up these douchebags. It won’t make them stop being douchebags, but maybe more of us will understand how many people fat acceptance actually would benefit from it.

AHAHAHAHA! HOW ABOUT NO? I’m not fucking someone that’s a douche for any reason.

Jessica
Jessica
8 years ago

The Patriarchs… sounds like a band with a theme of hipster sexism! Or a movie… “The Patriarchs… coming Summer 2012… to take back what’s theirs! *explosions*”

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