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Friend-zoning Out

One of approximately ten gazillion zillion “friend zone” rage comics.

I’m too lazy to write a real post today, so I thought I’d point you all to a pretty decent analysis of the dreaded “friend zone” by Foz Meadows on goodreads.

Here she is addressing the “Nice Guys” of the world:

[S]omewhere along the line, you’ve got it into your head that if you’re romantically interested in a girl who sees you only as a friend, her failure to reciprocate your feelings is just that: a failing. That because you’re nice and treat her well, she therefore owes you at least one opportunity to present yourself as a viable sexual candidate, even if she’s already made it clear that this isn’t what she wants. That because she legitimately enjoys a friendship that you find painful (and which you’re under no obligation to continue), she is using you. That if a man wants more than friendship with a woman, then the friendship itself doesn’t even attain the status of a consolation prize, but is instead viewed as hell: a punishment to be endured because, so long as he thinks she owes him that golden opportunity, he is bound to persist in an association that hurts him – not because he cares about the friendship, but because he feels he’s invested too much kindness not to stick around for the (surely inevitable, albeit delayed) payoff.

Seriously, Nice Guys, if you think of your friendship with a woman as a means to an end, or some kind of purgatory, then it’s not really a friendship, and you’re doing both yourself and your crush a disservice by persisting in it.  (I learned this lesson myself the hard way, a long time before there were helpful internet posts explaining to me why Nice Guying was a recipe for crappiness all around.)

Speaking of learning: I also learned from Foz Meadows’ post that there is a Wikipedia entry for “friend zone,” complete with advice on how dudes can avoid getting  “friendzoned” in the first place.

Several advisers urged men, during the initial dates, to touch women physically in appropriate places such as elbows or shoulders as a means of increasing the sexual tension. … Adviser Ali Binazir agrees, and suggested for the man to be a “little bit dangerous”, not in a violent sense, but “with a bit of an edge to them”, and be unpredictable and feel “comfortable in their skin as sexual beings.”

Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia … for Your Penis*.

Also: Here is the official Friend Zone anthem, “Consolation Prize” by Orange Juice. Lyrics here.

* Hetero cis penis only.

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Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
12 years ago

The men’s rights actvitst have been warning the Second Wave ass-to-mouthers that a backlash is coming. The “backlash” we see now, cited in butt ugly feminist ass-circles, is only the leadup to the real backlash, because men are tired of being told that MEN, MASCULINITY, is evil.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
12 years ago

Enough about saggy boobs. Let’s talk about saggy balls. Now there’s some misogyny!

katz
12 years ago

Because it would be disastrous to your psychological well being if feminists were actually the hot, sexy, intelligent creatures you desire.

It would pretty much be like this.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

cloudiah, isn’t the MRA standard something about the feminists forcing salads on men? I’m sure I’ve heard that before, though I’m not sure it was here. In either case, excellent source of fiber.

Thermos, thoughts on how ads with women are photoshop disasters whereas ads with men (generally) aren’t? Or you’ll pick the companies that just turn everyone into a stick and claim that proves your conspiracy?

Jessay (@jessay)
12 years ago

OMG, as a woman in media, I am like, flabbergasted that this guy believes that women control the media. He clearly has no idea how the industry works and is currently. When most everyone who has any power in the industry is male, and the majority of the production crews are male, and the demographics that blockbuster films and tv shows are striving to impress are male, I don’t understand how one could possibly make the glaringly obvious mistake that “sag” women control the media.

Try breaking into the production end as a woman. I can tell you from personal experience, it’s a boy’s club. It’s a huge pain in the ass. And I have seen completely, demonstrably useless men chosen by men BEFORE they’ll choose a demonstrably valuable woman, time and time again, for their crews.

But I mean, my anecdata aside, the statistics are there. The people who primarily own the media outlets, hold the power, and run the show, are white men.

http://www.now.org/issues/media/women_in_media_facts.html?printable (some of these links are broken, but it’s not difficult to see the evidence of this everywhere)

katz
12 years ago

Let’s talk about saggy balls.

I cannot overstate how much I would prefer to continue talking about peanut butter cookies.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

I cannot overstate how much I would prefer to continue talking about peanut butter cookies.

Agreed, and since lard is impossible to find (here anyways) butter is next best, margarine is not for making cookies.

cloudiah
12 years ago

Bostonian
12 years ago

Coconut oil is best for all baking! ( it is my new favorite, anyway)

katz
12 years ago

margarine is not for making cookies

Even if you are poor and/or have high blood pressure? 🙁

I think baking is one of the cases where margarine actually works comparably to butter, as opposed to, say, when you’re making a white sauce.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

Note that this isn’t really true. Sexualized women are generally limited to a certain variety of movie… and these are generally not enjoyed by critics. Connecting the dots now? Sexualization isn’t really rampant, it’s just there as a distraction… a sex-food-muzzle for the male masses.

Ha ha ha ha ha! This is just too funny, Thermos. You actually think that fan service for straight men is misandric? You have got to be kidding me. You have taken a clear example of misogyny, but then used convoluted MRA “logic” to somehow reverse it and say it’s misandry. It’s unbelievable.

katz
12 years ago

Bostonian: Coconut oil is amazing! But unless you have a really cheap source, it will cost 5-10x as much as butter, margarine, or shortening.

Cliff Pervocracy
12 years ago

You know what is misandric?

Suggesting that men will forget everything and be pacified into a stupor if you wave a pair of boobies in front of them.

How dumb does Thermos think men are?

Bostonian
12 years ago

“Even if you are poor and/or have high blood pressure?”

With high blood pressure, I would recommend the coconut oil, but the poor thing is harder to overcome, since the good fats are more expensive than the hydrogenated stuff.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

katz, I just enjoy baking, I am not a doctor, and I’m certainly not your’s, so I’ve got no comment on high blood pressure. I’m food stamps poor though, and cookies are a rare enough project that the extra dollar is worth it, but if you can’t taste the difference, wtf do I care? (and this is what MRAs really don’t get, if it doesn’t affect us, or even have some effect on us, feminists really don’t tend to care wtf you do, that’s kinda the whole point >.<)

Bostonian
12 years ago

I have found it for not as much on Amazon, but that tends to be in larger amounts and needs shipping. I have Amazon prime, but that requires an upfront outlay and only saves money if you order frequently.

Bostonian
12 years ago

Coconut oil makes the very best banana muffins though. Also, the best chocolate cupcakes! Also frosting for my lactose intolerant friends!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Ha ha ha ha ha! This is just too funny, Thermos. You actually think that fan service for straight men is misandric? You have got to be kidding me. You have taken a clear example of misogyny, but then used convoluted MRA “logic” to somehow reverse it and say it’s misandry. It’s unbelievable.

You know what is misandric?

Suggesting that men will forget everything and be pacified into a stupor if you wave a pair of boobies in front of them.

How dumb does Thermos think men are?

+1 internet to both those comments

katz
12 years ago

I’m food stamps poor though, and cookies are a rare enough project that the extra dollar is worth it, but if you can’t taste the difference, wtf do I care?

Of course that’s what it comes down to; if you think cookies made with butter taste a lot better, then you should use butter; if you don’t, then you shouldn’t.

kladle
kladle
12 years ago

I can too up-make compound combiwords. Howelse am I supposed to express-make my brainopinions?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
12 years ago

Of course that’s what it comes down to; if you think cookies made with butter taste a lot better, then you should use butter; if you don’t, then you shouldn’t.

Agreed, too bad everything else isn’t that simple huh? The irony of how few MGTOW actually go their own way instead of taking to the internet.

No comments on cookies Thermos? We’ll share the evil feminist baked goods.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Seriously, how’d I miss the fun with troll?

Oh, and try a farmers market if you’re looking for lard. A real farmers market, not the rip off cross with a big box grocery store.

Gee, it must be nice to be MRA what with half the god damn human population to blame for everything. Also, I have it on good authority that my tits and ass are splendorous. It seems that it is impossible to disable the RSS penis update feed, and I got told twice yesterday about how wonderful they are. One guy actually told me about how much he wanted to sculpt my body. I just LOVE the “I’m an artist” excuse. Especially while the guy is making groping motions.

You know what would be misandry? Me walking up to random men and telling them they have an amazing package while never taking my eyes off their crotch and describing in graphic detail what exacttly I’d like to do with that specific body part. Making it clear to men that all they are is either a life support system for the body part that does interest me or just a waste of skin. You know, kinda like what happens to women ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Bostonian
12 years ago

But if you can, try using coconut oil, especially unrefined coconut oil, which smells like a tropical island in your kitchen.
(it is also the best for thinning chocolate for enrobing purposes)

katz
12 years ago

Dammit, I think we bored him away before he could explode.

xardoz
12 years ago

I love it, I just came from Reddit, where the MRAs are always trying to claim they don’t hate women, they don’t objectify women, they’re MORE egalitarian than feminists, yadda yadda yadda. Heck, they even claim to like “equity” feminists now!

So glad to come back here find a true MRA troll in action — A paranoiac misogynistic twit spouting childish insults that would only wound a woman who buys into the misogynist belief that women are only good for decoration.

It’s like someone else said and I’m poorly paraphrasing, if reddit houses your most reasonable members, your movement is batshit.

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