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Elam: Take My Male Privilege, Please!

Paul Elam, head ranter at A Voice for Men, has a new video out called “You want privilege? You got it!” The thesis: if women really did have the so-called privileges that men have, they’d hate it and want men to take them all back. Because all of these so-called privileges are really giant burdens. Or, as Elam puts it, somewhat more melodramatically, these privileges have “begun to more resemble an anchor around your neck than the helm of a great ship that everyone tells you that you are captaining.”

Here’s the video.

Well, all right, that’s not really Paul Elam. But that little clip does capture pretty well the tone of his latest post, which is indeed about how male privilege is really a terrible burden.

I mean, this is his opener:

I swear by everything holy that the next time I hear some fembot caterwaul about “male privilege,” I am going to find something to break, turn it into shards, and drag the broken pieces across my chest just to distract me from the pain of their increasing stupidity. Just picture me like Martin Sheen, collapsed in a heap of bloody, tearful insanity on the floor of a cheap hotel in Saigon.

Heck, compared to that, Mr. McDuck’s reaction to the news about his “ice cream” was, if anything, rather restrained.

The rest of Elam’s post is, as is typical for him, a rather trite recitation of a number of standard Men’s Rights talking points about male “disposability” written in some of the most ridiculously overblown prose ever seen outside of an Ayn Rand novel.

Elam complains that he hasn’t seen much benefit from his privileges:

Mind you I still don’t know what that privilege is. One time when I was young and very poor I was late on my light bill. I showed the electric company my balls, but they cut my power off anyway. …

Yeah, as someone who’s also had his power cut off, I’m pretty sure they do that with everyone. I’m also pretty sure that no feminist has ever or will ever argue that male privilege means you won’t get your power cut off for nonpayment.

Here’s Elam addressing women as if they’ve traded place with men:

With your privilege comes the right to work on crab boats, drive trucks, work on electric lines, walk into burning buildings and sink into the bowels of the earth digging out coal and other things people find useful.

Apparently having greater occupational choices is scary and bad.

When a ship goes down, or any other life threatening disaster strikes, you have two choices. Be a real woman and die, or treat your life like it has value and have the world shit on you as a coward who refused to perish on cue. There is also the possibility of third option, either die from the disaster so that men can live, or have another woman blow a fucking hole in your face with a pistol because you tried to save yourself.

Yeah, I believe we may have addressed this earlier. Oh, but there’s more:

Like noticing the emperor has no clothes, it may hit you one day when you decide not to offer your seat to a man; when the stares at you from all around seem to come down people’s noses. …

You must learn not to say a word. Not to anyone else, not even to yourself. You must learn to see flames, coal dust, icy saltwater, death and sacrifice for the trappings of power that the world around you thinks them to be.

Says a dude typing out his manifestos on an expensive laptop he conned nagged his followers into buying for him.

And you must be willing to hang your head in shame over that power, even as the world chews you up, spits you out, and gets ready to take its turn with your daughter.

Elam’s rousing conclusion:

So, that is it, ladies. You want my privilege, it is yours. I will gladly hand it over to you this very minute. I am just waiting for you to meet the pre-requisites of disposibilty and an utter lack of self-value. I am waiting for you to woman up to the job, take off your fucking make up and be ready to bleed, blah blah blah look at me I’m mad!

I paraphrased a little at the end there. But, yes, the world champion at seeing male “disposability” everywhere did in fact misspell the word “disposability.” That was all him. And so, believe it or not, is the following:

I, like a Jew gone weary of being called a chosen one, am completely ready for anyone else, and in particular, you, to be chosen.

Personally, I have had about all the privilege I can stand.

Yep. He went there.

Also, I don’t know if you all knew this, but when women serve in the military these days it’s “like a day care camp for them.”

Also, not to pat myself on the back or anything, but my headline is much better than his. Maybe he should get me to write all the headlines on A Voice for Angry Duck Plutocrats Men.

Discuss.

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cloudiah
8 years ago

MRAL’s behavior continues to be very disturbing. ò_ó

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“I’ve seen DKM quite “civilly” explain that all women should be sex slaves. The tone doesn’t make much of a difference if you are spouting out misogynist things.”

I was speaking civilly because I don’t like arguing, and I wanted to avoid things turning into a hostile back and forth kind of thing. Nothing I said was misogynistic though.

“Your suffering doesn’t need to be ignored but its not the worst thing in the world and magically is more oppressive than misogyny.”

I’m against any form of bigotry. I support equality for anyone, women, men, white, black, hispanic, asian, christian, muslim, atheist, buddhist.

Thanks to the other folks who explained privilege a bit better. I do genuinely feel interested in the subject even though I might see things from a different perspective than others.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ hellkell
I wish the mods at Jez would give you a star already so you could share in the lulz/pain offered by the pink comments. MRAL has tried multiple names there. I suspect that he’s trying to get me annoyed enough to respond and thus approve him to comment. Sending you a summary over there.

@ Jumbo
I still can’t figure out if he’s trolling because he thinks it’s funny to (he imagines) upset people, or if he’s so deranged that he actually thinks that, say, comments about Gingrich being corrupt and untrustworthy are actually comments about him being ugly. I mean…

“I don’t like Newt Gingrich but I empathize with him re. his looks A LOT. In youth, I’m sure he was sneered about by entitled women, like shit on their shoe. Entitled women who tink their the bee’s motherfucking knees because they have boobs. Now who’s laughing, says Gingrich.”

Huh? Poor Newt, he’s so notorious for his involuntary celibacy that he’s been married what, 3 times? 4?

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“I’m against any form of bigotry. I support equality for anyone, women, men, white, black, hispanic, asian, christian, muslim, atheist, buddhist.”

I should also add, Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Transgendered etc. I guess it’s my straight privilege that I overlooked that one.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

Dave “They’re not interested in the problems of the socially anxious. Come on, haven’t seen you on Love-Shy in a while!”

I really haven’t posted on love-shy in a while but i’m wondering do you know who I am on love-shy? Because I never said it on here. Just curious. I don’t know which user you are. The reason why I don’t go on much anymore is because I can never think of interesting threads to start or anything.

jumbofish
8 years ago

I should also add, Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Transgendered etc. I guess it’s my straight privilege that I overlooked that one.

Oh where is that “civil discussion” you were talking about? I think its appropriated for me to say Fuck Off. (not even going to address your use of lbgt erasure for the sake of your passive aggressive joke.)

Bee
Bee
8 years ago

MRAL (who’s still pestering me on Jezebel, and has now escalated to finding my profile on a dating site and commenting on the photos as part of his campaign to convince me I’m a privileged princess).

That’s astonishing. I’m sorry, Cassandra.

Re. Chris and Chris’ problems: Of COURSE privilege is a thing, and of COURSE abled people have abled privilege and disabled people do not, but something’s striking me weird about Chris’ stories and his obsession with “proving” that he’s the saddest little baby in the room. There’s no way for me to know if this is what’s going on or not, but I’ll just put this out there: Whether an individual is lacking a particular privilege may or may not have anything at all to do with all the problems in that person’s life.

Frex, one of my ex-boyfriends had social anxiety disorder. He was also a total fucking dirtbag who didn’t care that he made me feel like shit. Two separate things. Not sure if that speaks to Chris’ situation at all, but it does occur to me that privilege doesn’t really explain the complaints he’s sharing here.

jumbofish
8 years ago

Oh funny “dave” showed up again on the same thread you appeared on. there is no way he is a sock.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“not even going to address your use of lbgt erasure for the sake of your passive aggressive joke”

I actually forgot it and then made the joke after the fact, but you can think whatever you want it doesn’t bother me.

“I think its appropriated for me to say Fuck Off.”

Have a nice day.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Odds on Chris and Dave being one and the same? Very good. How lame.

jumbofish
8 years ago

For the sake of lulz and remembering dave posted here in the same thread as chris before very suspiciously:

http://manboobz.com/2012/04/01/lets-shame-some-virgins/comment-page-2/#comment-141380

So he doesn’t like it here yet he stayed and reads it for months afterwards. He also mysteriously shows up in the threads chris posts in only and is a member of loveshy as well. He also likes chris and agrees with everything he says.

Seriously what is with all the socks lately??

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“Odds on Chris and Dave being one and the same? Very good. How lame.”

Good thing you aren’t putting money on it because you would lose. If he is a sock he isn’t mine.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

To be clear, MRAL is commenting on my pics while trolling me on Jez, not actually trying to contact me via the dating site (I assume – I haven’t even looked at my messages there in at least a year). I just don’t get this obsession with the idea that women who are “spitting” on men by not dating them, or by having physical preferences that don’t include them. A gentler, more passive-aggressive version of that idea comes through with the guys from the love shy forum too, which is why Chris’s comments reminded me of MRALs.

Snowy
Snowy
8 years ago

I actually forgot it and then made the joke after the fact, but you can think whatever you want it doesn’t bother me.

So… you’re saying that you did use lgbt erasure to make a passive aggressive joke. And it doesn’t bother you that people think you did something that you’ve just agreed that you did. Whaa?

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

It could be someone trying to make it look like i’m using a sock account. I thought it was suspicious that he acted like he knew me on LS but never knew what my screen name was. I also never said on LS.com that I was posted here or anything. But if he is a LS member i’m curious who he is now.

cloudiah
8 years ago

David the omniscient/omnipotent can at least tell us if there is anything suspicious about Chris/Dave’s IP addresses.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“So… you’re saying that you did use lgbt erasure to make a passive aggressive joke.”

I thought i was being accused of intentionally leaving it out. I was adding the part I missed and made a joke to laugh it off it wasn’t meant to be passive aggressive but again think what you like.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Sure, Chris, someone’s going to the trouble of making it look like a sock. OF COURSE they are.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“David the omniscient/omnipotent can at least tell us if there is anything suspicious about Chris/Dave’s IP addresses.”

Go right ahead. It isn’t me so you can do whatever you want.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“Sure, Chris, someone’s going to the trouble of making it look like a sock. OF COURSE they are.”

Either that or it actually is a LS user.

jumbofish
8 years ago

I actually forgot it and then made the joke after the fact, but you can think whatever you want it doesn’t bother me.

So you say yet you keep coming back here “looking for conversation.” Also as a fellow person with social anxiety a big part of it is being anxious of what other people think of you. You can pretend to not care but I know you do.

I actually don’t think you are a bad person compared to like mras so there is that but I really don’t think this is the best place for you. I don’t think loveshy is that great either since it seems to focus on blaming women for them not getting dates/laid. You hit my anger button with the lbgt erasure joke because its something I am struggling with as a queer person but I guess your issues are the only ones that really matter right?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

MRAL, I know you’re prbably reading this. Do you have any idea how unhinged your stalking of Cassandra across multiple sites makes you look? Do you care? Creep.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Isn’t commenting in a forum where you already know that most people will be hostile to a lot of your core beliefs inherently not a very good idea for someone with social anxiety? Most people I’ve ever met with social anxiety don’t tend to seek out situations where they’re guaranteed an unfriendly response.

Snowy
Snowy
8 years ago

Chris, since you seem to have trouble reading/comprehending I’ll spell this out for you. You “forgetting” lgbt people, intentionally or not = erasure. You “joking” about how it must be the privilege that you very obviously think is no big deal as you’ve already demonstrated by minimizing your own male privilege = passive aggressive.

Snowy
Snowy
8 years ago

Also, just seconding what everyone else is saying, MRAL you are damn creepy.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“Most people I’ve ever met with social anxiety don’t tend to seek out situations where they’re guaranteed an unfriendly response.”

I was hoping for a friendly conversation with maybe some disagreement, didn’t end up like that. Also my anxiety goes away when i’m on the internet. I feel a lot more relaxed when i’m not face to face with people. There are probably people who went to high school with me who could probably tell you that i didn’t say two words to them in high school and i’ve had long conversations with them on facebook chat years later.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“You “joking” about how it must be the privilege that you very obviously think is no big deal as you’ve already demonstrated by minimizing your own male privilege = passive aggressive.”

Ok. I made an error. You could put away the nails and wood now, no need to crucify me over it.

Snowy
Snowy
8 years ago

You could put away the nails and wood now, no need to crucify me over it.

Hahaha call the whaaambulance we have a critical emergency

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“You hit my anger button with the lbgt erasure joke because its something I am struggling with as a queer person but I guess your issues are the only ones that really matter right?”

I thought it would come off as funny, like I was lightheartedly joking about the fact that I have privilege liven up the tense situation a little. I really do apologize if you were offended. In all honesty that probably was the reason that I forgot it, I was just trying to express that in a humorous way but I came off as offensive and not funny.

Pecunium
8 years ago

Vindicare: What I don’t agree to are that I should follow long instructions how I am not allowed to argue about privilege – most without good justification.

Good thing no one said you couldn’t.

What has been said is one can’t claim that because one has an aspect of one’s life which isn’t all wine and roses, that one gets to whine that one doesn’t benefit from privilege.

Deny the legitimacy of your oppression? What if that’s not my intention? Can you read my mind?

Nope, only your words. If you don’t like the way your words read, learn to use them better.

Chris
Chris
8 years ago

“Chris’ IP seems to point to a place in a desert not that close to any roads”

Yup that sounds about right. I live in not very highly populated part of arizona.

jumbofish
8 years ago

Ip hiding is possible. I find it more likely that one person has a masked ip on in order to sockpuppet than “dave” staying here months after only to comment once again on something chris said. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Chris, when I first started learning about feminism, I started on online forums. I’m broke, so books even second hand aren’t affordable for me. Online forums are a good way to pick up on the nuances of certain theories. Its better to find a feminism 101 site to get the critical background info and basic concepts.

Some of my first attempts got me mocked as a man or booted out for stupidity (failure to learn the core basics). Different sites have different standards as to how well read someone is in feminist theory. There are sites I still can’t post on without raising ire for interrupting or derailing the thread. So I don’t. Here, a basic concept of the core tenents of feminism will serve you well as long as you listen to what people are saying, your post is on topic and you refrain from making the conversation all about you if you’re male.

Todays thread is about male privilege. You asked a good question about social anxiety and that potential axis of oppression. You’re new here, and on any forum new people have a little bit of proving themselves to do. People get annoyed when the conversation constantly breaks to help the newbie grasp basic concepts when the entire universe of google is at your fingertips. Do a little research and then try joining in. Unless the topic totally derails and its open topic. Which happens here frequently.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Oh, golly, I really should just stay away from AVfM, but I just wanted to document this further evidence of Antz’s fundamental dishonesty:

Earlier in this thread, I posted response to Antz’ claim that men have basically no resources for their health needs.
Note it contains this sentence from Planned Parenthood:

Instead, the HPV vaccine protects men and women against deadly diseases such as cervical cancer, or protects against genital warts.

Antz’ did some selective editing on that quote, and posted it over at AVfm as:
“.. Instead, the HPV vaccine protects men and women against deadly diseases such as cervical cancer ..” — cloudiah

Making it look as though I was the source of the quote, and more importantly leaving off the part about the HPV vaccine preventing genital warts., and in the process making it look like I think a man has a cervix.

Sure enough, much cackling ensued among Antz’ little friends, which I’ve screen capped here: http://i.imgur.com/LBJRC.png

(Much “heh, heh, wimmenz are so stupid, they think men have cervixes and women have prostates.”)

But a little tiny ray of truth can sometimes, almost accidentally, find its way to AVfM. Some guy with the screen name logical_man points out the important fact that the HPV vaccine does in fact protect men from genital warts. Another screen cap: http://i.imgur.com/BeE0l.png

(There is some evidence that having women get the vaccine may protect straight men from contracting certain oral cancers (because oral sex!), but that is less well established.)

TL;DR: Antz was willing to miseducate men about the FACT that boys should get the HPV vaccination to try to score a cheap shot against feminists! Antz is truly the James O’Keefe of the MRM.

jumbofish
8 years ago

Those mras are always the peak of honesty amiright?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Yeah, AntZ is always so truthful.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Apparently BR Merrick thinks tampon marketing is totes misandry.

cloudiah
8 years ago

@hellkell Merrick quote? That sounds fun.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Tampon advertising is misandry? Gee I wonder what they would call my menstruating on their couch? Besides a bloody mess, that is…

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

It was in your screen shot, Cloudiah, he was bitching about how there was a whole aisle in the grocery store for “what they’ve got.”

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

If men got periods, tampons would show up free in the mail.

swankivy
8 years ago
Reply to  hellkell

So . . . exactly how many products does he want there to be for his penis? And will he design condom packaging to be grossly wasteful so they can take up as much room as diapers and therefore have the appearance of equality?

Oh that precious grocery store shelf space, I’m telling you. . . .

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Also, diapers, baby wipes etc are not “women’s stuff”, they’re intended for the baby.

swankivy
8 years ago
Reply to  CassandraSays

Personally I was referring to pads as “taking up as much room as diapers,” but was HE saying the diapers are part of “women’s stuff”? That’s even more absurd!

cloudiah
8 years ago

Oh, oops. I blame the cheap red wine I am drinking for that reading comprehension FAIL. 🙂

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Yes, but a lot of MRAs like to erase the fact that men are ever babies. Especially when it comes to single mothers and any financial benefits the woman might receive from the government.

swankivy
8 years ago
Reply to  pillowinhell

Wait, MRAs aren’t STILL babies?

cloudiah
8 years ago

I should be honored that I’ve now been strawmanned. Was it earlier this week that I was the source of a whole post over at the University of Man?
I feel like I am now an influential feminist, and the MRAs are finally taking notice! Maybe I’ll start my own blog — cervicalmisandry.com is still available. Ha.