Oh, Reddit. Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.
So a couple of days ago Reddit had another one of its regular “confess something awful” mega-threads. This time, the OP asked “what is the one illegal, immoral, criminal, or disgusting thing you’ve always wanted to do or try?”
So, aside from the obvious choices (murder, taking a police officer’s gun) what is one terrible desire that a Redditor could confess that would garner more than a hundred upvotes?
Did your answer involve pedophilia – sorry, ebebophilia? Well, congratulations. You are of course correct:
I would have also accepted “smash everything in a Pottery Barn“ and “fuck a female horse.”
Naturally, Reddit being Reddit, someone helpfully offered the would-be child rapist advice on places it would be legal for him to fulfill his desires. And got a dozen upvotes for it.
Did you also guess that some brave Redditor would try to talk the would-be child abuser out of it – and hundreds of upvotes for it? No? Amazingly (for Reddit), someone did – though in true Reddit fashion they did so not because it’s wrong to prey on the young, but because 14-year-olds are annoying.
For many even more horrible confessions that didn’t get quite many upvotes, go here and sort by “controversial.”
Oh, but you say it’s not fair to pick on Redditors in a “confess awful things” thread?
Redditors don’t need a special occasion to celebrate pedophilia.
Thanks again to ShitRedditSays for pointing me to all this awfulness.
Just amazing. I don’t know if I should be happy, or weep, that the number of upvotes is offset by as many downvotes, or that the total of upvotes is greater than indicated value.
sighhhh oh reddit you disgust me.
I love that pic.
In other news.
Gross.
286 upvotes? No doubt Ma99ie will be here to tell us that this is only a tiny proportion of Redditors, and the fact that this got comment more than double the number of downvotes says nothing about the toleration of pedophilia/ephebophilia on Reddit, blah blah blah Reddit apologetics blah blah blah…
Just because ONE person on a thread FULL of confessions that are awful says one thing about ephebophilia does NOT mean that reddit, which is A W E S O M E, is full of pedophiles. Those upvotes are probably bitch-tittied plushy mangina feminist trolls trying to make the MRM look bad because they finally figured out that the world, which is largely composed of lay people to busy going their own way to give a shit about MISANDRY!, are taking the red pill and realizing that the world is being overrun by manly-women feminists and their white knighted followers. Your time is nigh, my fellow manly totally-not mangina men!
I’m trying to think of something else I can say in order to sound like an actual MRA, but all I can think of is MOAR NONSENSE!
In all honesty, though? Fuck reddit.
It’s strange because sometimes they use the excuse that they can’t tell the difference between a 14 year old and a 18 year old. If that is the case, why go for the 14 specifically? Again, no logic.
After posting this post I decided I needed to post something else that was less depressing.
ta da!
http://manboobz.com/2012/04/28/puas-invade-okcupid/
Stay A W E S O M E, Reddit.
286 isn’t anwhere close to where it will top off at
It sickens me that there are so many perverts out there, and we usually can’t tell who they are until they victimize someone.
TW for rape & jokes about rape.
There’s also luke727 who has “always been curious about rape and murder. To be honest the struggle involved in rape seems like it would be a ‘fun’ challenge, trying to impose your will against someone else resisting.”
42 upvotes! reddit is A W E S O M E. Go ma99ie’s people!
With some great responses, like one from wtfno:
6 upvotes! Reddit is super A W E S O M E. Because they liked this one, but not quite as much!
Man-hating lesbian Amazons do not have a word to express the level of extreme distaste that I feel upon reading this. I would go on to say that we would typically respond to a such a situation with a swift axe-stroke, but I have gathered that outright murder is very much frowned-upon outside of Amazonian society. In the interest of cultural sensitivity, I will simply glower and set my manly jaw in disgust.
I think I am beginning understand MRAs’ horrible fear of man-hating lesbians: Manjaw is slowly turning me away from the Glorious True Path of Straightness. It’s the axe, I think. I just can’t resist a good axe.
You know, the idea of smashing everything in a pottery barn had never actually occurred to me, but now I really want to do it.
I think it would be simpler if I never clicked a reddit link again. Certainly wouldn’t need to stock up on brain bleach.
Wasn’t the deal with Pocahontas being 11 IRL that she also didn’t have a (sexual) relationship with John Smith IRL? Nice way to conflate Disney with reality and use it to justify pedophilia.
*repeating in my head* Never click the link.
Wikipedia, of course: “Historical records do not suggest that Smith and Pocahontas were lovers. The romance is featured only (but repeatedly) in fictional versions of their relationship (such as the 1995 animated film by Walt Disney). The first romance was written about them in the early 19th century, suggesting the story’s mythic appeal. Accounts of such a romance have been repeated in films made in the United States as late as 2009.”
/factchecking
@Felix
Yeah, I don’t know why people still believe the Disney version of the story. The true story is pretty tragic. Pocahontas was captured and held on an English ship for over a year, married off to an Englishman, then carted off to England to be paraded around the nobility as just one of many exotic items discovered in the New World. She then fell ill and died as they were traveling back to the Americas. She never made it home again, and is buried somewhere in England.
@blitzgal
“Yeah, I don’t know why people still believe the Disney version of the story.”
Luckily, feminists have been rewriting history for decades as womens oppression. All those millenia of not be afforded the privilege of dying in thankless jobs which women couldn’t perform equally. The poor dears.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I wonder how many of those upvotes are by feminists, feverishly working to maintain the bad man motto we’re sold every minute of every day? Oh that’s right. I keep forgetting. Women never lie or manipulate.
Oh noes now NWO buys into the “feminists spend all their time upvoting/downvoting stuff on reddit” conspiracy theory!
wait, owlslave, i thought you were pro-sex with fourteen year olds? feminists are slandering you by suggesting you support something you… support?
Feminism: subtly supporting misogyny to make a few men look slightly worse since 1808.
NWO, stop resting on your laurels. Troll of the Year doesn’t win itself. You’re phoning it in.
I want to smash everything in Pottery Barn! I have to iron their sheets and pillow cases every time I wash them. I call them Wrinkle Barn.
Imagining things and wanting to do things are two different things. I have imagined fun and heinous ways to kill people who really piss me off or make me feel unsafe (such as my mom who is an abusive asshat), but I would never actually WANT to do said thing, because the problems inherent in actually killing another human being would not be worth the consequences. Still, it’s great to feel better when you’re underage and rendered powerless at the hands of someone else’s abuse.
Something tells me that many of these people are entitled enough to think that they DESERVE to commit criminal acts and get away with them (oh those evil feminists, not allowing these jokers to rape and murder whenever they want to)….and they’re planning to do so.
One famous ebebophiliac: Dick Hickock, one of the In Cold Blood Killers. Another: Warren Jeffs of FLDS 12 & 14 year old bride fame. I’m sure there are more fine examples.