You may have heard of, if you haven’t already seen, the stupefyingly terrible film The Room. The film is so bafflingly inept and nonsensical that you’re hardly surprised to learn that writer, director, and star Tommy Wiseau had never made a film before; indeed, you might find yourself wondering if he’d ever even seen a film before.
The Room (released, barely, in 2003 and available on DVD) is a mawkishly melodramatic, and deadly serious, drama about a man betrayed by his fiancee, which Wiseau has been trying to market as a quirky comedy because no one can watch the film without laughing at his hero’s travails. Rent The Room if you want to stare dumbfounded at your TV for an hour and a half some night. Seriously, rent it.
Seeing it for myself the first time not long ago, I was struck by the manosphere-style misogyny that pervades almost every frame of the movie. It’s not an MRA film, and Wiseau is no MRA, but somehow he manages to encapsulate every terrible stereotype about men and women that most MRAs seem to believe.
The film tells the sad story of Johnny (played by Wiseau), a good-hearted, long-haired banker with an unclassifiable accent who is betrayed at work (he doesn’t get his expected promotion) and, more importantly, by his “future wife” Lisa, who blithely cheats on him with his best friend.
Lisa is portrayed like the evil bitch villain in nearly every MRA urban legend: she’s a self-absorbed twit who, in addition to cheating on Johnny, falsely accuses him of domestic violence and fakes a pregnancy just to fuck with him.
Johnny, meanwhile, is supposed to be seen as a loyal, helpful, compassionate man who cares deeply about his friends and treats his adored “future wife” Lisa like the princess he tells her she is.
I say “supposed to” because Johnny is hardly the great guy Wiseau thinks he is. For one thing, everything he does and says is bit … off, as if his body has been taken over by a space alien who’s learned everything he knows about women (and human interaction in general) by reading comments on Reddit and watching Christopher Walken as “The Continental” on Saturday Night Live without getting the joke.
For another, he’s a rage-filled narcissist with a bad case of “nice guy” entitlement and absolutely no self-awareness. When his friend Mark tells him about a woman beaten so badly she ends up in the hospital, he responds with a hearty laugh. (“What a story, Mark!”) And when he confronts Lisa about her false accusations of domestic violence (“You are lying! I never hit you!”), he angrily shoves her down onto a couch. It doesn’t seem to occur to Johnny (or to Wiseau) that this too is a form of domestic violence.
When, after learning of Lisa’s betrayal, he trashes their apartment and [SPOILER ALERT] kills himself with a conveniently located pistol, Wiseau presents it as the ultimate comeuppance to the cruel Lisa.
While you have to see the whole film to truly appreciate its epic badness, the following clips will give you some idea of what I’ve been talking about.
First, the trailer, which tries its best to cover up the film’s true weirdness:
The infamous “roof scene” in which Johnny tells Mark (the guy Lisa is sleeping with) about Lisa’s accusations of domestic violence:
A compilation of some of Johnny’s best (i.e. worst) moments:
This one (ignore the misleading title) gives you some idea of Lisa’s oblivious evilness:
Here’s Hitler reacting to the film. (Note: Not the real Hitler.)
And here, if you dare, is the whole damn movie in its entirely. (If you’re pressed for time, you may want to fast forward through the film’s five completely unerotic sex scenes, set to the worst slow jams ever recorded.)
EDITED TO ADD: Oh, and here’s the scene the gif above is from. Johnny is the most efficient flower buyer and pug-petter in the world.
At first he seemed to be a non-english-speaker learning his lines phonetically, and perhaps blind because his eye lines seemed a bit off. Also, love how he can’t say a line and do an action at the same time.
How did he come to have millions of dollars in the first place, to make the movie?
Oh hi darth
But can it compete with Garbage Day?
He’s notoriously hedgey about this (along with his national origin) but he claims he made some money importing leather jackets from Korea (???)
They…recycled the sex scenes!
Also the fucking SOUNDS!
…Why did I even notice that? Why did I notice that…
@pillowinhell,
YAY! Although apparently the fucker intends to keep trying. Also, sorry to hear about your experience. 🙁 I chose abortion because I knew I couldn’t bear to give it up for adoption once born.
They actually do a midnight movie showing of this akin to Rocky Horror- they run up and down and throw a football in all the stupid football throwing scenes. They throw spoons at the screen in frames where you see pictures because all the pictures in the apartment are of spoons. And there’s much, much more fun to be had because the movie is horrible.
And yeah, I noticed that it had a pretty “nice guy” theme to it and didn’t take it seriously, but I was kind of concerned that some MRA would use this as “proof” that all women are evil. Of course, to be fair, this movie is as terribly unrealistic as the MRA portrayal of actual reality.
So yeah. It’s only funny if you make fun of it. Thank goodness for most humans not taking this shit seriously.
I love that particular strand of misogynist logic.
Women are so manipulative! Hey there, lady, why aren’t you wearing a dress? Don’t you understand that you could totally use your innate womanly cunning to manipulate me? You don’t want to, you say? FUCK YOU, YOU BITCH, WHY WON’T YOU MANIPULATE ME?
Lisa’s mother is pretty transparently a stand-in for Wiseau. Just 11 minutes or so in, she talks about how Johnny buys her things, so it’s “not right” for Lisa to want to dump him. Because we all know love is bought, amirite?
And I don’t even want to know what was going on in the sex scene.
Vaginas…they’re not that high.
@Cassandra:
I’ve only seen clips and already I’m reading your post in Johnny’s voice.
Dammit… Looks like I’m gonna have to watch it now. *dons wet suit and snorkle*
Wish me luck! *splash*
I’ve seen the Nostalgia Critic review, and that’s as close as I want to come to watching the actual movie.
http://blip.tv/nostalgiacritic/nostalgia-critic-the-room-3897329
I love how the only setup we have for their relationship is a power ballad played through a sex scene, and Johnny buying a dress. That’s it. Even I, with my amazing powers of belief suspension can’t develop outrage at cheating that quickly.
“If you love me you’ll drink this.”
YOU DO NOT SAY THIS TO AN ALCOHOLIC! At least I’m assuming he’s an alcoholic. Though I’ve already gotten used to a setup getting reversed within three minutes of the introduction.
be careful, kirbster! don’t break your poor little pink head!
@kladle:
Too late. I watched a sex scene between two people thinking it was lisa cheating again, but I was wrong. O_O I haven’t seen the character enough to recognize her and there’s already been three scenes!!! And so far she’s the main character!
And gosh durnnit I knew the very first scene was off. Johnny and Lisa are about to get busy and their sorta-son bounces into their bed right in the middle of it! What the hell! And they aren’t even surprised about it! I just… Argh!!!
I need people to snark to… My head will explode otherwise.
Lisa: “Well, we might not be married, so thbbbbt.”
Johnny: “Don’t talkt to me like that!” *pushes her down twice*
Lisa: “Don’t worry about it, it’ll be alright.”
Johnny: “Don’t worry about it, I still love you.”
What the ever-loving fudge! O_O
Four guys playing football (tossing a ball around), scene ends when a guy gets punched in the gut with the footbal and falls over. It just ends. Nothing.
AND WHO THE HELL IS PETER!?!??
How the heck is this a dark comedy?!? There is horror music. In the background. With people trying to kill each other.
You know who Peter is? Peter is the voice of freaking reason sorta. Mark tries to say Lisa is manipulative, and Peter puts the blame back on Mark for cheating.
And why does every football scene end in someone getting hurt?
… This is a horror movie. *rocks back and forth slowly*
Oh hai random man I’ve never seen before, and whose name I don’t know, yet who attempts to chew out lisa as if they know each other.
My god… Even his beserk rage and wails of anguish are half-assed. O_O
Not to mention the guy’s got a face that looks like it was made of Silly Putty.
Eh, don’t really care all that much about looks or the accent. You know what really gets me?
The entire movie, Lisa is the main character. She just is. Johnny is an extra until the last five minutes. Not to mention the fact that if you took out the sub-plots that didn’t go anywhere, and cut all the repetative and wasteful dialogue, and replaced the love scenes with actual porn, you’d get porn.
God, now I have to see it. It sounds awesome, Kirby.