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Get in mah belly, Heartiste!

Apparently the Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy has discovered our little blog:

Why do normal people feel a natural disgust for feminists and manginas? Make no mistake, normal women are as repulsed as normal men are by shrieking feminists and wimpy manboy pudgeballs. In public, well-adjusted people may mouth the PC platitudes that feminists and doughboys relentlessly cudgel into squishy groupthink minds, but in private the cool people generally shun the orc hordes and leave them to mingle with their own emotionally and often physically disfigured kind. This social outcast status is what fuels their eternal hatred for truth and beauty.

Uh oh! I guess he’s not a fan.

The 800 pound bulldyke in the room that “””progressives””” of all stripes don’t want you to notice is that a lot of their radical regressivist shock troopers are comprised of biologically faulty men and women who are at the extremes of effeminacy and masculinization respectively. If it came to be widely understood and socially acceptable to acknowledge that, due to hormonal imbalance, genetic glitches, or gross environmental insult, 90% of radical femcunts are lesbians or manjawed atrocities, and 90% of manboobs are closet cases or soft, pillowy micropeens, the general population would be less likely to seriously entertain their insipid drivel.

U mad, bro?

Think about the revulsion you feel when you see a grossly obese person. It’s instinctive, like the way you would recoil from a pile of dog shit.

Dude, I don’t know if you know this, but most Americans are, you know, fat. WE ARE LEGION!

Your typical outrage feminist and limp-wristed manboob flirts dangerously close to the monster threshold. Humans recoil from manjawed, mustachioed, beady-eyed, actively aggressive women and chipmunk-cheeked, bitch tittied, curvaceously plush, passive-aggressive men as if they were the human equivalent of dog shit.

This has got to be the most ridiculously verbose version of “yeah, well, you’re a fatty” I’ve ever seen.

Oh, but it seems like we’re all about to get our big comeuppance:

The reflexive indulgence granted the monsters among us has lost its justification. Too many bleeding wounds from too many overzealous bites has rattled the slumber of the sleepers. A greater force than any sophistic monster in the world is about to bite back, viciously, lethally. Truth, as it always does, will claim ultimate victory.

Yeah, except that I’m pretty sure that “I hate you, you fat fatty” isn’t a Truth that matters a lot to anyone but you and your maladjusted fanboys.

Also, dude, you call yourself “Heartiste.” There is literally nothing more dopey than that.

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Amused
12 years ago

*clap*

Talk dirty to me, indifferentsky.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
12 years ago

I’ll say this about MRA writing style: it’s very creative! They randomly redefine words to suit each post (sometimes even contradicting the definition they required in the previous sentence! It’s almost Joycean! Only stupider!) and they keep inventing new punctuation marks. In addition to the notorious double period, we now have a TRIPLE quotation mark. Does it signify sometime particular to put three quotation marks on each side of a word? Is it a Super Dooper Scare quote?

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
12 years ago

*someTHING particular

teirisias
teirisias
12 years ago

Anyone taking bets on whether Roissy is a birther? If so, I’m in for ten quatloos.

Savage Like Me
12 years ago

You sense, in your darkest secret thoughts, that most people are repulsed by you, want to have nothing to do with you, would be embarrassed to be seen with you. How do you think that would affect your mental state? First, you would seek out others like you. Monstrosity loves company. Then, you would lash out at anything normal, elevating the wicked and deviant while eroding confidence in the good and beautiful, twisting cherished moral standards that work adequately to sustain a normal population into bizarre, exaggerated facsimiles manufactured solely to do the bidding of your freak cohort.

Finally, you would attempt to do to the Other what you have felt from the Other your whole life — cast them into the icy wastelands. Due to a combination of hate-driven relentless energy as a perpetual outsider, plus elite co-conspiracy, you succeed… temporarily, always temporarily… at convincing large numbers of normals to blankly imbibe your warped truth. No one who is anyone would bother questioning your motivations, because that would be… unseemly.

And the Lords of Lies held dominion over all.

I literally laughed out loud when I read this part. I think he might be projecting a little bit.

darksidecat
darksidecat
12 years ago

NOOOOOOO! Not fat, queer, trans, intersexed people, and/or women! The EVIIIIIIIL!

Also, I am curious about how our flagrant queer flaunting is supposed to work with being closet cases.

GingerSnaps
GingerSnaps
12 years ago

I’d like to spend a day in MRA land, where I get to walk down the street and see “shrieking feminists and wimpy manboy pudgeballs” who are “emotionally and often physically disfigured” with a “social outcast status” and an “eternal hatred for truth and beauty”.

And I guess taking the red pill makes you a zombie???

Comet
Comet
12 years ago

Is it just me or does this have creepy social darwinistic undertones?

Bostonian
12 years ago

If a total incoherent dorkwad like Heartiste is the paragon of truth and beauty, I am glad to be among the social outcasts.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
12 years ago

I agree with @Comet that Roissy’s screed was better in the original German.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
12 years ago

I’m reminded of the oft repeated advice of successful writers who say, I’m just going to paraphrase here, don’t be unnecessarily wordy. Be succinct and to the point. Heartiste’s writing is full on purple prose.

He writes like a junior high school student who has just discovered his/her thesaurus.

In other words, he writes like the male version of Stephanie Myers. *shudder*

CommonNonsense
CommonNonsense
12 years ago

Heartiste’s screed here is doing wonders for my self-esteem. I catch myself thinking that I can’t possibly be nearly as disgusting as he imagines us all to be.

As for the male version of Stephenie Meyer: god forbid. The last thing we need is an overwrought, purple MRA fantasy to get popular.

kladle
kladle
12 years ago

okay… I REALLY want to see a picture of this guy now.

If you google “Roissy” the first few images in Image Search are of him. He’s a decent-looking guy, I guess. Now if I were like Roissy I could think up all sorts of stupid insults for his face or whatever, because it’s always possible to pick up something wrong with anybody and just go on and on about it. But I’m not like him so I don’t really give a shit.

That’s the problem with being hyper-focused on looks; you’re always going to be nitpicking about someone’s nipples being asymmetrical or their fingernails being too flat or whatever. I’m not too worried about Roissy because even his readers generally realize his standards are extremely idiosyncratic and mostly full of crap. Whenever he actually posts examples of women that are hot/not the comments section usually breaks out into arguments. People’s tastes are diverse, would you believe it!

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

@Techno Alien

If you google Roissy which was his previous name (that he changed due to blog drama I think) you can find pics of him. He’s…ugh….well, I’m not going to stoop to his level lol.

Bee
Bee
12 years ago

okay… I REALLY want to see a picture of this guy now.

They’re out there. Do a google image search and you’ll see ’em.

I know we just had the MRA of the year award a few months ago, but I’m kinda feeling like there should be, like, an MRA terrible-writing-off. There’s sooooo many to choose from — maybe do brackets until we determine the Ultimate Champion of TERRIBLE WRITING? Marky Mark vs. CIO. Elam vs. Heartiste. GWW vs. Typhonblue. Maybe in the forum. Maybe after finals.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
12 years ago

I’m sorry to say they already are, CN. You mean you haven’t heard of ‘Spermjacker,’ the first of the trilogy where a succubus steals the sperm from Joe Nice Guy™ and enslaves him for the next18 years?

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

Damn ninja’d by kladle.

you think he’s decent looking? to each their own I guess xD

it’s always funny when he makes a post about beauty and he gives examples of women and he’s all “THIS IS WHAT’S BEAUTIFUL IT’S SET IN STONE” and even his commenters will disagree with his preferences, thereby proving his statement invalid.

2-D Man
2-D Man
12 years ago

Why do normal people feel a natural disgust for feminists and manginas?

Normal people don’t use the word ‘mangina’. Trust me. I looked into this.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

If you google his pics, Roissy is… average. That must bug the shit out of him.

Bee
Bee
12 years ago

Doubleninjaed!

kladle
kladle
12 years ago

Also, madlibs:

Humans recoil from (noun)jawed, (noun)’ed, (adjective)-eyed, actively (emotion) women and (animal)-cheeked, (noun) tittied, (adverb) plush, (emotion) men as if they were the human equivalent of (animal) (something gross).

———————–
Gonna ask my sister for entries….
———————–

Humans recoil from cheese-jawed, beans’ed, fuzzy-eyed, actively sad women and cow-cheeked, buzzcut tittied, lazily plush, tired men as if they were the human equivalent of cat puke after eating mayonnaise.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

The idea that Roissy and his followers consider themselves “cool” is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

Oooooo I asked someone!

Humans recoil from leaf-jawed, applesauce’ed, gross-eyed, actively in love women and unicorn-cheeked, plastic wrapper tittied, nicely plush, rage men as if they were the human equivalent of chicken puke after eating NWOslave.

Sharon
Sharon
12 years ago

Every time I read something by Heartiste, I’m simultaneously amused and baffled. Does he actually think this is how the world works? Does he honestly think he sounds intelligent when he resorts to grade school insults? What kind of pathetic moron thinks this overgrown infant is anything but a joke without a punchline?

jodioli
12 years ago

So…do they become MRAs because they couldn’t compete in English class and were permanently scarred for life?