Men of America! You face a grave threat today: Evil feminist slutwalkers are working tirelessly to enslave men by conning them into marrying secret porn-star whores! Over on The Spearhead, an unnamed “Featured Guest” explains the whole dastardly scheme in a post with the intriguing title “Whore is just a label.”
With slutwalkers working hard to remove the stigma of sex for women, you see,
young women in porn face far less stigma than they ever have. So much so that for that young women the leap from wanton behavior at a drunken college party to getting double teamed followed by a full facial in a porn shoot may not be a far leap at all.
Exactly. Because if you’re going to be having sex anyway, why not do it on camera with strangers?
The dollars and cents is that you have a huge growth porn industry demanding a huge number of sex workers who blend invisibly into the population because there is no longer any stigma attached to the world’s oldest profession.
Wait, I thought that prostitution was the world’s oldest profession. I guess porn and prostitution are the same thing now?
Not that it matters, because if you’re a man the evil ladies will keep their sordid whoring from you:
Unlike men women know how to keep a secret. Women don’t brag to their girlfriends, in fact they’ll lie even to themselves. You really have NO IDEA where even that conservative and very virginal girl you’ve proposed to has been until the night she thought she forgot shows up on Youtube.com. Where does that leave an increasing number of American men?
So YouTube is a porn distribution hub now? Or is he suggesting that any woman who has sex is by definition a whore?
Evidently he is, as Mr. Featured Guest then goes on to warn of the dangers of those who are:
Trying to turn a whore into a housewife.
Yes, there are terrific women out there. But single women are angling for a man to pay for their lives, and given that incentive there’s a huge temptation for a woman to present herself falsely, to tell a lot of lies and to make a lot of “stay at home, cook and raise kids” promises she has no intention of keeping. Under US and ESPECIALLY Canadian divorce laws, women are almost never accountable for bad behavior or broken promises. For all the men who thought their betrothed was only slutty the night she met you and who are steaming mad that you’ve been sold a bill of goods, does the marriage contract needs a “false advertisement” clause?
Or do women who have sex with men other than their betrothed – possibly on video, possibly on YouTube — simply need to have the word “whore” tattooed on their foreheads?
The regulars at The Spearhead respond to this sophisticated analysis of contemporary marriage with their usual good sense.
Quentin, in a comment that got 50 upvotes, notes with some alarm that
A lot of women don’t feel bad abut their sexual escapades. In fact, they take pride in them. “Ladies” are an endangered species, and are on the verge of going extinct. All this slutty behavior has really made me lose interest in women. I don’t want to be with a woman who has had sex with a lot of men. If she is easy to get into the sack, then she is a liability in a relationship. I have lost a lot of respect for women over the past several years. Sex, along with marriage, is something most women view as a get-rich-quick scheme. It is disheartening to think I live in a world where being a whore is considered empowering, while being a supportive wife is frowned upon. This world is upside down. … If you act like a whore, then you are going to get treated like a whore. If women were pleasant to be around and were loyal, more men would probably stick around. You reap what you sow, women.
Napoleon (24 upvotes) urges his fellow men to be cautious when dealing with the wily female:
Women these days are increasingly trying to have the best of both worlds and present themselves as wholesome nice girls to the public while hiding a lot of whoring that goes on behind the scenes. There is really no way to know whether a woman is a part-time prostitute or not but a good rule of thumb is to assume that she is until proven otherwise due to the prevalence of such antics.
Silent warns men to be especially suspicious of any woman who seems to know what she’s doing in bed:
Just be careful about the super-sweet girlfriend who knows a little too much about how to do that thing you like, without you having taught her. She may have had a mouthful. But hey, maybe it’s all “in the past”.
YoungMan shares his tale of woe:
Back in my plugged in days I dated a girl for over a year before I found out she used to play with herself on camera for money. I was incensed I had been taken advantage of like that.
Keyster, a bastion of morality who once boasted about dating a 14-year-old (when he was 25), warns men to stay away with women who don’t keep silent about their sexual pasts:
Any woman who feels compelled to reveal her debaucherous past has no intention of having a serious relationship with you.
It’s not a shit test.
It’s meant to show a certian amount of disdain and disrespect for you as a man who doesn’t quite measure up to her standards. Don’t ever forget that.
Yes, because if a woman has had sex with anyone other than you, it’s all about disrespecting you.
And then he adds:
If she says she can’t even remember how many guys she’s f*cked in a rather “matter-of-fact” tone, you’ve entered the Futrelle Zone. Go home and video tape your cat on a Roomba and post it on YouTube. It would be time better spent.
I guess I should be flattered? But alas it was not my cat on the Roomba. I wish I had a Roomba. (Also, I wish I had my cat back, but that’s a whole other and much sadder story.)
Alan Vaughn writes an impassioned defense of pedophiles – sorry, “pedophiles,” in scare quotes – that I’m frankly too tired to bother to cut and paste in here. Check it out yourself if you dare.
Eric has a sad about the poor quality of American women:
Women are presumed to ‘have all the power in relationships’. Really, it’s her choices alone that matter. Women choose to be with thugs and idiots when there are numerous better and more responsible options open to them. The fact that women overwhelmingly terminate relationships with good men and pursue worthless ones is proof in itself that the responsibility lies with them and not with us.
Men, on the other hand, are very limited in their field of choices (unless they expat out). The abysmal quality of American women; women’s complete lack of interest in responsible men; and the ever-impending consequences of acting contrary to misandryist legal and social norms considerably constrict men’s options. Most men, if they were honest about it, would admit that their choices are pretty much limited to the least objectionable—not the most desirable—of available women.
Life is apparently very tough for American men who hate the very idea of women ever having sex with anyone but them. And doubly tough for those who don’t see the inherent hilariousness of cats on Roombas.
It’s pathetic how misogynists can see so much nastiness in the female gender, yet, aside from the, “manginas,” they see their own gender as having a monopoly on traits like loyalty and honor. I’ve debated a couple of them who swore that men get along so well together while women just fight all the time and back stab each other. It’s like they forgot about all the wars, gang violence, mass murderers, serial killers, etc. A
Oh, and men are just as sexually promiscuous as women. I don’t see women calling them a bunch of skanky man-whores.
I should add that the guy I dated who turned out to be an MRA was sort of a half-assed MRA. He was friends with a truly vile, awful piece of shit, and that POS’s rhetoric was what he would recite. So it took a little while to realize he had these awful ideas rolling around in his head because he wasn’t really fully convinced of them himself. His buddy was immediately identifiable as an MRA. (His buddy was out of town for the first 6 weeks we dated, so it simply never came up. Buddy got back into town, and the shit hit the fan.)
I made progress with the guy, but in the end, it was like arguing with MRA trolls on the internet only, y’know, all the fucking time and in person, and I just didn’t have the energy. I’m stupidly optimistic and really wanted to get through to at least one. You know, fifth column and all that shit. Like I said, he told me that he had changed a lot of his perspectives on women and feminism after his time with me, so maybe I had some impact. But he’s still best buds with POS, so it’s hard to believe in any kind of long-term change.
Generally speaking, an MRA isn’t going to pull some kind of sneak attack. You’ll know right away. They’re pretty proud of that shit.
Welp, gulp. I do think that some attitudes that MRAs have carry over to real men. And… I think that some of that lies in unconscious biases, some. But we’re trained now, and have a more defined sense of what’s tolerable and what might need to be discussed.
Let’s talk about something that “men” share. Well, an unhealthy chunk of them, but probably guys that nobody around here would go for, men aren’t a monolith. But one thing that is kind of mainstream is this madonna/whore objectification hate fest. When I read this post, and the guy was bitching about the women in porn I thought, well you had better not watch it then if you’re going to talk shit like that. That makes me purple with rage.
I was on an old Tito Ortiz video yesterday, looking up some tiff he had with Dana White. And in one interview he’s standing next to a woman that is either a porn star, or absolutely loves the fashion trend. I went down in the comment section and the top rated comment was about how she swallowed cum for a living. That was written as an insult leveled at her and Tito. Also the rest of the comments talked about how many partners she had, like ew gross. Now, being that I was on a UFC video, I thought WAIT just a doggone minute!! In a perfect fascist gynocracy with me in charge I would be able to send over my team of crack manginas to confiscate their computers immediately!! And what do you think we would find? And in my fascist gynocrazy, they would be charged with felony counts of being hypocritical misogynistic douches when their porn collection was uncovered.
In the infamous words of Rebecca Watson, “Guys, don’t do this.” You want to bitch about the women in porn or throw your feces like monkeys, then don’t use it. Grrrrr.
but its in their naaaature to spread their seed and fling shit at what they don’t like Indifferent Sky! you can’t expect men to not be assholes to the very women they’re using to dump their seed in. Women are not meant by nature to have lots of sex so it’s ok to shame them! of course using this computer isn’t exactly natural either, neither is buying and eating processed food…but we don’t exactly have derogatory terms for everyone who does those things. All that is natural is good and right because the menz say so!!! no critical thinking allowed because MISANDRY.
See that’s what gets me, these attitudes aren’t just coming from MRAs. MRAs express them in the most extreme way with very little exceptions…but degrading women who go above the the acceptable numbers of partners is not exactly uncommon. I see it everywhere, not just on MRA sites. I also think there’s a lot of confusion between no strings casual sex and actual cheating on a partner. They are not the same thing. A woman who cheats is not a good person, but a woman who is not in a relationship has every right to sleep with who she wants provided it’s consensual and the person she’s sleeping with isn’t in a relationship with anyone. She is not hurting anyone by doing so and it’s no one’s fucking business what she does in her sex life.
I wish I knew where to find feminist men, but I think they’re quite rare. I dunno, thank you all for the advice and concern, I’m just not in a great place right now due to other personal issues as well so all this is just getting to me. I think my trust is just none existent right now and a lot of it has to do with the manosphere. Of course I wouldn’t blame a guy for giving up or moving on once he senses this distrust but really…manospherians have no clue how much they’re doing to foster negativity and hostility between the sexes. They keep saying women aren’t kind and warm and what a bunch of bitches we are but being called a bitch and a myriad of other horrid names because I’m female doesn’t exactly conjure up feelings of kindness and warmth towards the men who say those things.
@Shadow
Yeah I’m pretty sickened by the racist shit I see on the web too, and it surprised me like with all the misogyny too. I guess we didn’t progress as much as I thought we did. But I do the same…constantly remind myself of all the non-misogynist, non-racist people in my life and it does help. There are lots of good people out there, unfortunately the assholes tend to be the loudest.
I should take a break as Jumbofish and others have advised me to, it’s just hard to tear myself away from the computer…
…I feel so fortunate that I have so many awesome feminist men in my life, cis and trans.
Seriously. I’ve got my husband, my… non-bio-uncle/godfather/neighbor/dude, at least six offline friends that I can think of off the top of my head, frickin TONS of my online friends…
Oddly, I think me being trans helped weed out a lot of chaff instantly. Because if they’re douches about women, trans people seem to bring it out worse.
RE: Quackers
I come here because the trolls oddly make me feel BETTER about the shit going on in my life right now. I find them… refreshingly cut-and-dry. But yes, if it’s causing you distress, I’d definitely try to take a break.
*hugs Quackers*
Honestly, I can’t blame ya for being suspicious of men after reading this stuff, mostly because it plays into the already fucked up notions that hurt women (and anyone who isn’t a WASP male). But just hang in there, find things that you like to talk about besides MRA stuff (speaking of which, I need to post more Entertainment/Art related stuff on the forums), and take a break if it’s causing you distress.
@Quackers, if you’re still around, I can’t claim to know what it’s like to think that everyone I meet just de facto holds bad opinions about me, but it sounds like you’re in a lot of pain and stress right now.
I just want you to know that you’re not all by yourself. I’m sure everyone here who isn’t a troll would agree with me when we say we’re concerned about you.
So here’s a hug or three, if you want them, and I hope you feel better soon.
Quackers, sorry to hear the asshats have you temporarily bent outta shape a bit. I’ve dealt with a few, and I’ve found ways to weed them out.
I’ll join the chorus of folks here suggesting that maybe avoiding the online shit would be a good idea for a while, especially if you’re experiencing it IRL. Other than that, let your feminist flag fly. Most asshats will seek to avoid you that way, and hopefully over time you’ll develope a buffer zone of people you know you can trust. Is there something new and really challenging you’ve been putting off trying? Let that fill in some of your time.
I’ve been where you are at, not a happy place. Hang in there!
Quackers, I’ve met multiple wonderful feminist men where I’m at now. I have no advice on how to go about doing it (kinda just happened at random) but if they’re here, they’re bound to be where you are too.
Is there a university with a gender studies program nearby? Or maybe a social networking site?
Again, you’ll probably face some unconscious misogyny when you meet new people, but I don’t think most people are going to be ninja misogynists of high order. Cleverness doesn’t typically go with the territory there.
I tried to make this argument on youtube once about how the shaming of sex makes people less likely to practice it safely, buy condoms, get tested, be honest with their partners etc, etc, then someone told me I was saying that people should be “proud of their STDs.” Ok, nowhere did I ever mention pride. Pride is really irrelevant in a healthy sex life. It’s just something that people do, hopefully they do safely and consentually, and I think are more likely to do it safely and consentually if they aren’t ashamed of it. There is a huge spectrum between shame and pride. I don’t think either should be involved in sex because the second you throw pride in there it’s treating it more like a conquest, “I’m proud I banged that hot chick,” or something. But yeah, people who like to use shame tactics don’t seem to understand that there is a full spectrum of human emotions. They’re like the teacher in Donnie Darko who bought into the “Everything is motivated by fear or love” thing that Patrick Swazey was selling.
It’s very telling of the level of narcissism we’re dealing with here. These MRAs seem to think the world starts and stops with their lives. You know, the type who wonder if everyone stops moving when they exit a room. How dare someone have a life before and after the time spent with them!!
Preeettty much. You don’t realize what good sex or even a good kiss is until you actually have it, and up until that point you assumed you were having good sex. I feel bad for women who save themselves for an MRA because it’s highly likely that they are not going to be at all interested in her pleasure, and only focused on their own orgasm. Then they’ll wonder why the woman divorces them, citing “being unsatisfied.”
Or she could just read a lot of Cosmo. 100 ways to give a better blow job.
@kirby in regards tot he sandwich analogy: I bet these are the types who will make a food service person completely remake their sandwhich if they accidentally put onions on it. “HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST I JUST TAKE THEM OFF!”
Those of you asking about your relationships with women, remember, women can’t have sex with each other. We’ve been over this. It doesn’t count because it’s not possible.
@quackers Believe me, most people don’t even know that such a thing as MRAs exist. After I was dogpiled on youtube I let my male friends know about it at the bar and every single one was like, “What? That’s a thing?” And they laughed at the thought. While we could agree on some of the things they claim to be about (equal opportunities to have custody of a child, the horribleness of prison rape, etc), it was agreed upon immediately that men are not an oppressed minority and that MRAs were just a bunch of misogynists. Don’t let the assholes of this world spoil your views on all men. That’s what MRAs did with women and it led to this nonsense that we’re all laughing at. It infuriates me too at times but then I just check the comments of places like this site and sigh in relief that most people are sane.
If it does please the court, I’d like to posit that this is awful, terrible advice. To paraphrase John Cleese: “What’s wrong with your neighbour? You don’t have to go leaping straight for the local gender studies department like a bull at a gate. Talk to your neighbour”.
While this advise is well meaning, it irks me for a couple of reasons:
it suggests that feminist, non-asshole men are some rare breed, found only in the ivory tower, in the places that stereotypes suggest they’re found. Now, I’ve nothing against the ivory tower (hell, I work; live and sleep in that tusk-fort), but non-assholes are found quite literally everywhere. They’re serving your food, checking your taxes, driving your taxis or spending your tax dollars in ways that get all worked up. Misogyny exists, is alive and well and living in Disney land, but men who have turned the corner are not some small minority. Case in point: our fine host here at Manboobz, and many of the regular, awesome commenters. With no evidence, I’m fairly sure that most are more likely to be found at a supermarket buying dinner than at a sandstone institution;
One of the things that got me onto feminism in the first place, is its identification that irrational gender lines affect men as well as women (although women are certainly more often harmed by them). I’m sick of hearing that men are incapable of controlling their urges, that they’re all secret fratboyz, who play along with the feminist game to get girls to sleep with us, or that they’re whipped into conformity. Most feminist men treat women as people, ’cause they realise women ARE people. Assholes exist, no question, but these stereotypes are no more accurate in general then the bullshit MRAs spout about women. 21st century attitudes aren’t restricted to those directly involved in feminist study or activism. Good men exist, in large numbers, in your neighbourhood.
I’ve met feminist men on my football (soccer) team; in my workplace; in my apartment block and at bars, pubs, boozers and taverns. I think suggesting that the best place to head to find feminist men is a gender studies program (incorrectly) suggests that feminist attitudes don’t have solid support in the “real world”TM amongst men. Only, if you’re really struggling to find a non-asshole would I jump to the gender studies program.
Apologise for the vent / threadjack. Feel free to ignore me.
My wife can’t remember how many men she had sex with before she met me: she didn’t have a long-term partner in the eight years since divorcing her first husband*.
Logically, I should consider divorcing her for being an evil scheming slutbitchwhore, but I was well aware of this before we married, and I never had a problem with it.
In fact, I’d be more surprised if an attractive and outgoing woman in her twenties and early thirties without a long-term boyfriend hadn’t totted up a fair few notches on her bedpost.
(*for being boring, unambitious and stuck in a dead-end job thanks to his own inertia, not because she cheated on him five times a day. In fact, that was one of the reasons why she wanted out of the marriage – she wanted a far more adventurous sex life but she wasn’t prepared to cheat on him.)
@The Cat From Outer Space
I just want to say no need to apologize I completely understand what you’re saying. After posting my earlier comments I took some time off, went about my day, and now feel foolish for basically doing the same thing MRAs do about women. I generalized about men based on my experiences on the internet and with MRA bullshit. I let it get the best of me and for that I apologize to everyone here. There are plenty of non-misogynistic, feminist men as evidenced by those on Manboobz (which is a blog I’m truly thankful for) and the men in my life who may not identify as feminist but are certainly NOT misogynistic or sexist. I’m not really ashamed to admit that I’m shy, a bit of a loner and spend too much time online, this is probably why I don’t really meet and interact with new people very often and spend too much time reading crap on the internet, which tends to bring out the worst in people. It’s up to me to let go of my shyness and go out and meet good people.
I think a lot of people default into generalization mode when they are hurt or upset about something. In cases like that I can kind of understand, but it’s just when you let it consume you that it becomes a problem.
Falconer, LBT, pillowinhell, red locker, Jules, Jessay and everyone else who left a supportive comment…thank you and hugs to all of you. I really, really appreciate it. Knowing that such great people exist and care even though you’ve never met me irl means a lot to me 🙂
quackers…are you Aussie or am i getting you muddled with lowquacks?
I’m fairly sure Quackers is USian (Canadian?). Magpie and I are the Aussies here. I only realised the lowquacks/Quackers similarity after picking that name, unfortunately.
Interestingly enough, both the Aussies I know of here link themselves in some way to Australian birds. It makes sense at some level – we do have some really pretty birdies.
Now I think of it, it’s not just Aussie birds, but dangerously violent Aussie birds.
/bird derail
Doesn’t the description “dangerously violent” fit most Aussie fauna? If I recall correctly even the koalas are kind of mean.
ah, may i add myself to the Aussie list in a kinda expat way, being a Scot resident here for 5 years? and dangerous Aussie fauna? surely you jest….
ah ninja’d by Cassandrasays…
koalas are pretty mean when they are awake i hear. comes from eating toxic eucalyptus apparently. lowquacks and magpie may be better informed. then there are the hoop snakes and the drop bears.
I was so sad as a child when my parents explained that no, I could not have a pet koala, because it would probably rip my face off. They look so cuddly…
Right, should’ve expected that. Any one read Terry Pratchett’s Discworld book with the Australia parody (forget what it’s called), the list of animals that can kill you is outrageously long. The list of animals that can’t contains one entry – “some of the sheep”.
@BigMomma
Are you saying you’re a former Australian now in Scotland or vice-versa?