Men of America! You face a grave threat today: Evil feminist slutwalkers are working tirelessly to enslave men by conning them into marrying secret porn-star whores! Over on The Spearhead, an unnamed “Featured Guest” explains the whole dastardly scheme in a post with the intriguing title “Whore is just a label.”
With slutwalkers working hard to remove the stigma of sex for women, you see,
young women in porn face far less stigma than they ever have. So much so that for that young women the leap from wanton behavior at a drunken college party to getting double teamed followed by a full facial in a porn shoot may not be a far leap at all.
Exactly. Because if you’re going to be having sex anyway, why not do it on camera with strangers?
The dollars and cents is that you have a huge growth porn industry demanding a huge number of sex workers who blend invisibly into the population because there is no longer any stigma attached to the world’s oldest profession.
Wait, I thought that prostitution was the world’s oldest profession. I guess porn and prostitution are the same thing now?
Not that it matters, because if you’re a man the evil ladies will keep their sordid whoring from you:
Unlike men women know how to keep a secret. Women don’t brag to their girlfriends, in fact they’ll lie even to themselves. You really have NO IDEA where even that conservative and very virginal girl you’ve proposed to has been until the night she thought she forgot shows up on Youtube.com. Where does that leave an increasing number of American men?
So YouTube is a porn distribution hub now? Or is he suggesting that any woman who has sex is by definition a whore?
Evidently he is, as Mr. Featured Guest then goes on to warn of the dangers of those who are:
Trying to turn a whore into a housewife.
Yes, there are terrific women out there. But single women are angling for a man to pay for their lives, and given that incentive there’s a huge temptation for a woman to present herself falsely, to tell a lot of lies and to make a lot of “stay at home, cook and raise kids” promises she has no intention of keeping. Under US and ESPECIALLY Canadian divorce laws, women are almost never accountable for bad behavior or broken promises. For all the men who thought their betrothed was only slutty the night she met you and who are steaming mad that you’ve been sold a bill of goods, does the marriage contract needs a “false advertisement” clause?
Or do women who have sex with men other than their betrothed – possibly on video, possibly on YouTube — simply need to have the word “whore” tattooed on their foreheads?
The regulars at The Spearhead respond to this sophisticated analysis of contemporary marriage with their usual good sense.
Quentin, in a comment that got 50 upvotes, notes with some alarm that
A lot of women don’t feel bad abut their sexual escapades. In fact, they take pride in them. “Ladies” are an endangered species, and are on the verge of going extinct. All this slutty behavior has really made me lose interest in women. I don’t want to be with a woman who has had sex with a lot of men. If she is easy to get into the sack, then she is a liability in a relationship. I have lost a lot of respect for women over the past several years. Sex, along with marriage, is something most women view as a get-rich-quick scheme. It is disheartening to think I live in a world where being a whore is considered empowering, while being a supportive wife is frowned upon. This world is upside down. … If you act like a whore, then you are going to get treated like a whore. If women were pleasant to be around and were loyal, more men would probably stick around. You reap what you sow, women.
Napoleon (24 upvotes) urges his fellow men to be cautious when dealing with the wily female:
Women these days are increasingly trying to have the best of both worlds and present themselves as wholesome nice girls to the public while hiding a lot of whoring that goes on behind the scenes. There is really no way to know whether a woman is a part-time prostitute or not but a good rule of thumb is to assume that she is until proven otherwise due to the prevalence of such antics.
Silent warns men to be especially suspicious of any woman who seems to know what she’s doing in bed:
Just be careful about the super-sweet girlfriend who knows a little too much about how to do that thing you like, without you having taught her. She may have had a mouthful. But hey, maybe it’s all “in the past”.
YoungMan shares his tale of woe:
Back in my plugged in days I dated a girl for over a year before I found out she used to play with herself on camera for money. I was incensed I had been taken advantage of like that.
Keyster, a bastion of morality who once boasted about dating a 14-year-old (when he was 25), warns men to stay away with women who don’t keep silent about their sexual pasts:
Any woman who feels compelled to reveal her debaucherous past has no intention of having a serious relationship with you.
It’s not a shit test.
It’s meant to show a certian amount of disdain and disrespect for you as a man who doesn’t quite measure up to her standards. Don’t ever forget that.
Yes, because if a woman has had sex with anyone other than you, it’s all about disrespecting you.
And then he adds:
If she says she can’t even remember how many guys she’s f*cked in a rather “matter-of-fact” tone, you’ve entered the Futrelle Zone. Go home and video tape your cat on a Roomba and post it on YouTube. It would be time better spent.
I guess I should be flattered? But alas it was not my cat on the Roomba. I wish I had a Roomba. (Also, I wish I had my cat back, but that’s a whole other and much sadder story.)
Alan Vaughn writes an impassioned defense of pedophiles – sorry, “pedophiles,” in scare quotes – that I’m frankly too tired to bother to cut and paste in here. Check it out yourself if you dare.
Eric has a sad about the poor quality of American women:
Women are presumed to ‘have all the power in relationships’. Really, it’s her choices alone that matter. Women choose to be with thugs and idiots when there are numerous better and more responsible options open to them. The fact that women overwhelmingly terminate relationships with good men and pursue worthless ones is proof in itself that the responsibility lies with them and not with us.
Men, on the other hand, are very limited in their field of choices (unless they expat out). The abysmal quality of American women; women’s complete lack of interest in responsible men; and the ever-impending consequences of acting contrary to misandryist legal and social norms considerably constrict men’s options. Most men, if they were honest about it, would admit that their choices are pretty much limited to the least objectionable—not the most desirable—of available women.
Life is apparently very tough for American men who hate the very idea of women ever having sex with anyone but them. And doubly tough for those who don’t see the inherent hilariousness of cats on Roombas.
So, hypothetically, how unethical would it be to fake being a slut? Because my own list is short I can do the math on my fingers with only one hand, and still could even if I had a few terrible finger-cutting accidents. And I worry it could attract people like this.
… I would probably feel too guilty about lying to make a good lie, and I don’t want to let MRAs and other assholes turn me paranoid. But it’s tempting.
Um. If it’s more than zero, you’re still a slut. You may not be a full-fledged whore*, but you’re still basically untouchable. Particularly if you’re uppity.
*But you probably are.
How many hypocritical statements can fit into one piece? MRAs rage about Jessica Valenti and her desire to make men who are accused of rape guilty until proven innocent, but when it comes to whorish women, they should be guilty until proven innocent.
“If women were pleasant to be around and were loyal, more men would probably stick around. You reap what you sow, women.”
Because women are the only people who can be unpleasant and not loyal. No, no men ever cheat on their wives, no men ever make their wive’s life a living hell. This is a woman-exclusive trait that we should be demonized for. And the man who wrote this obviously hates women, so does he really think his past wives or future wives are going to find fulfillment with a guy who despises them based on their sex? Meanwhile, I saw someone, I can’t remember who, complain that a woman’s most common reason for divorce was not being satisfied in her marriage. So women are expected to suck up a bad marriage where they are unsatisfied, but men don’t have to stick around if they aren’t? Oh, I see. Not sexist logic at all.
Lastly, the issue of “false advertising.” How many men tell their future wives that they are on track to be successful in their careers, and sell themselves to have this great potential in life in general. Then life happens, they don’t get promoted (rightfully or wrongfully, either way), they get laid off, or they just aren’t as awesome as they said they were. This happens with men just as sometimes a woman thinks she wants to be a housewife at first but then something changes. That’s not false advertisement. This isn’t a machine that functions one way and one way only and is defective if it doesn’t. This is human life, and humans change, grow, and don’t always get along.
But MRAs like this would have you think it’s a great conspiracy against men while completely ignoring their own shortcomings and failings in relationships. I frankly am tired of MRAs chalking simple relationship issues up to rights issues and oppression. Own your own half of the relationship failure!
(and that rant is just from like three of his statements, I haven’t even finished the whole piece)
The MRA’s will sometimes make an exception and say that widows aren’t sluts, even if they had children with their late husbands. Other than that, though, a woman becomes a slut by having any intercourse at all. Holly brought up the gray zones here, too. What if a woman gives or receives oral sex? Do hand jobs make her a slut? What if she has a lot of sex partners but they’re all women? Can a woman sluttify another woman? The MRA’s need to make an official rulebook for slutdom and clear up the confusion.
@Nobinayamu
No no no, silly Nobinayamu, you can’t let a woman control her own ovulation, that doesn’t even make any sense. It’s the man that decides whether the woman should get pregnant, obviously.
I can’t help but think that probably a large chunk of this whole “false advertising” schtick they’ve got is really not necessarily ladies “misrepresenting” themselves as much as it is misogynist fuckbrains hearing “sure I’d like to be a mom someday” as “of course I want to be your domestic servant/reproductive slave”.
Kinda like when even old friends who’ve known me for a while and known I don’t want to have kids for a while hear my “actually I don’t think I really want to have kids” as “of course I want baybeez can’t you see how much I am hurting inside for lack of BAYBEEZ!”
MRAs will say that women are too bitchy, too uptight, too cold…well congratulations assholes! you contribute to a lot of that with your illogical double standards, your judgments and your insults. No matter what women do, you will find something wrong with it. You complain women won’t sleep with you, but when they do you label them as sluts. On what planet is this logic? Sex really is about sullying women to you isn’t it? do you realize that MRAs have the ability to make women misandrists with this shit, more than feminism ever could?
I have to thank the manosphere though. I will be much more cautious and on guard from now on. That is if I don’t just give up and settle for a life of celibacy first.
It’s always nice to get a succinct rundown of just what creepers who come onto me in bars expect… I have the ‘good luck’ to look about a decade younger than I am, which makes for some interesting “so, do you have any experience”*winkwink* Conversations. I think theyll be disappointed that I live well in the Futrelle Zone – I stopped counting at about fifty. Does that entitle me to a free roomba?
But. But. If you don’t have sex, the MRAs think they’ve won!
Of course, if you do have sex, they think they’ve won, too.
And in both instances, they’re also convinced they’ve lost.
Because logic!
Seriously, this crap makes me rather glad I haven’t even been on a date in 5 years, much less anything else. I’d rather sit at home writing every Friday night for the rest of my life than have to eat a meal with one of these guys.
My number is pretty low, but above zero — but I’ve never done it with a man. And I’m genderqueer. So am I a slut or not? I’m going to be updating my resume soon and I need to know.
I’m not even going to sugarcoat it, I am way more distrustful of men ever since finding out about the MRM and just my experience with the internet in general. I didn’t know how many men still resent women or hold onto archaic misogynistic beliefs. I thought we were passed all this. Apparently not.
And it’s exactly that isn’t it? if you have sex you made some guy happy but is he a decent guy or just going to call you a slut behind your back and view you as someone he succeeded in dirtying? you never know because people can fake being a nice person. Then agian if you don’t have sex the MRAs win too for scaring you into celibacy. Its a lose-lose situation for women and its the type of thing that seriously makes me wish I was sexually attracted to women (not that some women don’t hold these beliefs, ie Susan Walsh)
I know not all guys are like this but right now? I’m just not seeing it. Outside of Manboobz and my family and few male friends I just see a world full of angry MRAs, Nice Guys™,dudebros, PUAs, etc. Maybe women need to go their own way too since we obviously are all incapable of respecting each other as human beings.
Thats not healthy at all to think. Maybe you should take a break quakers from reading mras stuff though I know its easier said than done. I am just going to reaffirm that mras are such a small amount of people that you probably will never run into one in rl.
@Quacker: I’m bisexual cis male and had feminist friends who jokingly gave me an Honorary Lesbian Separatist certificate after I told them some of my stories of sexual encounters with men, so I understand the feeling.
I’m going to second what Jumbofish said about the MRM being a tiny little slice of the internet with no serious real world applications.
Very few men are like these guys. Most are decent and wouldn’t shit talk you behind your back.
I have never met an MRA in person. There’s really not that many of them.
Think of how many of our trolls are repeats, or are frequent posters on MRA sites. I feel like I know the majority of the really active MRAs by name.
They’re loud, but in real life they’re less influential than the stamp collector’s association.
@ Quackers
Jumbo is right – in real life there are very few men as vicious as the guys on The Spearhead. Now, sexual double standards? Those are alive and well and really very common among men, and you should try to screen for them. I’ve always made it a point not to sleep with men who display any signs of having those double standards, because who needs the headaches? But you can avoid most of it by screening for it, and even your standard garden variety dude with a bit of a Madonna/whore complex is not anything like as unreasonable as these guys. My dad was born in the 1940s, and he married not one but two women who had previous sexual experience without any complaints about how they were disrespecting him by not having been nuns until they met him. I know that these guys are a big presence online, but in real life they’re much less so, and they’re pretty easy to spot.
It is culturally dependent. I live in the Deep South. I have met many real-life MRAs.
My little experiment of talking openly about my sexual history and interests (that wasn’t a joke or a rhetorical device; I literally do that) has netted some pretty intense reactions.
I’ve been called a whore and a slut to my face more times than I can count (whether I’m being matter-of-fact or zany). And I’ve lived here for only 3 years.
I have heard MRA talking points from total strangers while sitting in a bar. I’ve heard them from guys I was dating (hence my move to immediately identifying as an evil feminist slut). I’ve heard them while at work.
The upside is that before I moved here, it was an exceedingly rare experience. And I didn’t live in an amazingly progressive place. I just didn’t live in the middle of one of the shittiest places in the country.
It is culturally dependent. I live in the Deep South. I have met many real-life MRAs.
I’ve lived in the Alabama/Florida border most of my life, and I’ve never met anyone who could remotely qualify as an MRA. There are plenty of misogynists, but nobody who comes even close to that level of jackassery.
That’s because most of their talking points are slightly exaggerated versions of normal misogyny.
Quackers: have you considered date feminist men? Obviously it doesn’t not guaranty anything, but it increase tremendously the odds he’s not a MRA or a PUA, even though the odds are not so big with the general population. And I think that if you’re both “declared” as feminists, it can make it easier to start discussions on feminist-related subjects that matter to you: does sex make women dirty? Can the clothes or the drink of a woman be responsible for her rape or sexual assault? What h
I’m not saying you should date, or that there is a way to pick up every red flag, but it saddens me that MRAs and PUAs are causing this anxiety to you, when in reality there are so few of them out there. (especially MRAS, I guess it would be harder to count PUAs: do you count guys using cheesy pick-up lines, or only the full-blown adepts of the cult?) Actually, I think it’s probably way less probable to date one by accident than a mainstream asshole or even a “normal” abuser.
I’m trying to be reassuring there, and probably failing spectacularly, but I hope you know what I mean: there are bad people out there, but you knew that before and the image you had of the world before reading Manboobz is probably more accurate, because MRAs/PUAs/etc are frog trying to look like T-rexes. Poisonous frog, sure, but still not what they pretend to be.
The perk is that now, you know a bit better what to watch out for.
Really, I’m not saying you ought to date, especially because I would be the last qualified person for that. (I never did an actual date) I’m just saying, don’t believe them, the world isn’t as bad as they would have you believe.
NB: you’re unlikely to date a Nice Guy(tm). By definition, they’re passive people who don’t dare to ask their crush out and then resent them for not dating them.
Dudebros are rarely evil genius that hide their true personalities, they’re not that hard to figure out and then avoid.
@Quackers I totally understand where you’re coming from. After learning about MRAs, studying up on privilege and how it works, I became extraordinarily mistrustful of men. Also any man I saw who displayed even a whisper of what I consider red-flag behavior, my mistrust went to active dislike and repulsion in 3 seconds flat.
But that’s not a good way to go through life. I stopped and thought about all the wonderful men in my life. One of whom will come running at 3 am if I need him for anything. He doesn’t even expect sex afterwards! 😉
Most men aren’t like the douchebags in the MRM. Heck, I’d say the majority of men aren’t like that.
@Quackers
It’s not quite the same, but there was a point when it seemed like there was White Nationalist shit, and extremely racist shit, almost everywhere I looked on the web. It made me really suspicious about the White people around me and, at one point, even my friends. The thing is, I had to remind myself that I was surrounded by awesome White friends, and people in general, and only recently came across that kind of fuckwittery, and only in certain places.
@Quackers There is a lot of vile asshattery on the web. I remain convinced that most people are flawed but basically decent. Except for my sexist and racist cousin — stay FAR away from him. 🙂
p.s. Over on the flawed AND not decent side of the spectrum, I couldn’t help but notice that Antz is blaming feminists for the Spearhead being down:
It’s hard work being a femifascist, what with all the hacking we have to do. It hardly leaves us enough time for spermburgling and having thousands of abortions!
I know that. I’m referring to rhetoric that actually reaches the levels of what you find on the big MRM sites. I’m talking about self-identified men’s rights activists (not that they actually do anything).
I’m not saying it’s an everyday experience. But it’s not particularly uncommon.
Another point that may differentiate our experiences, Rutee, is that I’m extremely outgoing. Like, I’m probably an outlier, even by Southern standards (e.g., everyone talks to everyone in line at the grocery store, as the stereotype goes). So, I’m “out there” quite a bit actively trying to meet people. My willingness to engage with men* combined with my cis-gendered (primarily) heterosexuality means that I get a fair bit of attention from a variety of them. So there’s probably a numbers game going on.
I was the same gregarious woman in the last place I lived, and I only met one MRA**. That’s why I think there is a large cultural component. Perhaps it’s not “the Deep South.” Perhaps there’s some charismatic MRA around here who has managed to win over some converts. But given how backwards this place is, I wouldn’t be surprised if multiple men came to the movement independently.
*I don’t mean that I’m “out there” trying to get laid and that I only talk to men. It’s just the relevant aspect for this particular conversation.
**Unfortunately, he married one of my best friends. Who was a 22-year-old virgin who converted her religion for him.