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$MONEY$ antifeminism douchebaggery dozens of upvotes evil women girl germs I'm totally being sarcastic kitties men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA oppressed men pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles precious bodily fluids reactionary bullshit sex sluts the spearhead whores

All Women Are Whores, Part XIV: Cat on a Roomba Edition

Cats and Roombas unite in service to the forces of whoredom.

Men of America! You face a grave threat today: Evil feminist slutwalkers are working tirelessly to enslave men by conning them into marrying secret porn-star whores! Over on The Spearhead, an unnamed “Featured Guest” explains the whole dastardly scheme in a post with the intriguing title “Whore is just a label.” 

With slutwalkers working hard to remove the stigma of sex for women, you see,

young women in porn face far less stigma than they ever have. So much so that for that young women the leap from wanton behavior at a drunken college party to getting double teamed followed by a full facial in a porn shoot may not be a far leap at all.

Exactly. Because if you’re going to be having sex anyway, why not do it on camera with strangers?

The dollars and cents is that you have a huge growth porn industry demanding a huge number of sex workers who blend invisibly into the population because there is no longer any stigma attached to the world’s oldest profession.

Wait, I thought that prostitution was the world’s oldest profession. I guess porn and prostitution are the same thing now?

Not that it matters, because if you’re a man the evil ladies will keep their sordid whoring from you:

Unlike men women know how to keep a secret. Women don’t brag to their girlfriends, in fact they’ll lie even to themselves. You really have NO IDEA where even that conservative and very virginal girl you’ve proposed to has been until the night she thought she forgot shows up on Youtube.com. Where does that leave an increasing number of American men?

So YouTube is a porn distribution hub now? Or is he suggesting that any woman who has sex is by definition a whore?

Evidently he is, as Mr. Featured Guest then goes on to warn of the dangers of those who are:

Trying to turn a whore into a housewife.

Yes, there are terrific women out there. But single women are angling for a man to pay for their lives, and given that incentive there’s a huge temptation for a woman to present herself falsely, to tell a lot of lies and to make a lot of “stay at home, cook and raise kids” promises she has no intention of keeping. Under US and ESPECIALLY Canadian divorce laws, women are almost never accountable for bad behavior or broken promises. For all the men who thought their betrothed was only slutty the night she met you and who are steaming mad that you’ve been sold a bill of goods, does the marriage contract needs a “false advertisement” clause?

Or do women who have sex with men other than their betrothed – possibly on video, possibly on YouTube — simply need to have the word “whore” tattooed on their foreheads?

The regulars at The Spearhead respond to this sophisticated analysis of contemporary marriage with their usual good sense.

Quentin, in a comment that got 50 upvotes, notes with some alarm that

A lot of women don’t feel bad abut their sexual escapades. In fact, they take pride in them. “Ladies” are an endangered species, and are on the verge of going extinct. All this slutty behavior has really made me lose interest in women. I don’t want to be with a woman who has had sex with a lot of men. If she is easy to get into the sack, then she is a liability in a relationship. I have lost a lot of respect for women over the past several years. Sex, along with marriage, is something most women view as a get-rich-quick scheme. It is disheartening to think I live in a world where being a whore is considered empowering, while being a supportive wife is frowned upon. This world is upside down. …  If you act like a whore, then you are going to get treated like a whore. If women were pleasant to be around and were loyal, more men would probably stick around. You reap what you sow, women.

Napoleon (24 upvotes) urges his fellow men to be cautious when dealing with the wily female:

Women these days are increasingly trying to have the best of both worlds and present themselves as wholesome nice girls to the public while hiding a lot of whoring that goes on behind the scenes. There is really no way to know whether a woman is a part-time prostitute or not but a good rule of thumb is to assume that she is until proven otherwise due to the prevalence of such antics.

Silent warns men to be especially suspicious of any woman who seems to know what she’s doing in bed:

Just be careful about the super-sweet girlfriend who knows a little too much about how to do that thing you like, without you having taught her. She may have had a mouthful. But hey, maybe it’s all “in the past”.

YoungMan shares his tale of woe:

Back in my plugged in days I dated a girl for over a year before I found out she used to play with herself on camera for money. I was incensed I had been taken advantage of like that.

Keyster, a bastion of morality who once boasted about dating a 14-year-old (when he was 25), warns men to stay away with women who don’t keep silent about their sexual pasts:

Any woman who feels compelled to reveal her debaucherous past has no intention of having a serious relationship with you.

It’s not a shit test.

 It’s meant to show a certian amount of disdain and disrespect for you as a man who doesn’t quite measure up to her standards. Don’t ever forget that.

Yes, because if a woman has had sex with anyone other than you, it’s all about disrespecting you.

And then he adds:

If she says she can’t even remember how many guys she’s f*cked in a rather “matter-of-fact” tone, you’ve entered the Futrelle Zone. Go home and video tape your cat on a Roomba and post it on YouTube. It would be time better spent.

I guess I should be flattered? But alas it was not my cat on the Roomba. I wish I had a Roomba. (Also, I wish I had my cat back, but that’s a whole other and much sadder story.)

Alan Vaughn writes an impassioned defense of pedophiles – sorry, “pedophiles,” in scare quotes – that I’m frankly too tired to bother to cut and paste in here. Check it out yourself if you dare.

Eric has a sad about the poor quality of American women:

Women are presumed to ‘have all the power in relationships’. Really, it’s her choices alone that matter. Women choose to be with thugs and idiots when there are numerous better and more responsible options open to them. The fact that women overwhelmingly terminate relationships with good men and pursue worthless ones is proof in itself that the responsibility lies with them and not with us.

Men, on the other hand, are very limited in their field of choices (unless they expat out). The abysmal quality of American women; women’s complete lack of interest in responsible men; and the ever-impending consequences of acting contrary to misandryist legal and social norms considerably constrict men’s options. Most men, if they were honest about it, would admit that their choices are pretty much limited to the least objectionable—not the most desirable—of available women.

Life is apparently very tough for American men who hate the very idea of women ever having sex with anyone but them. And doubly tough for those who don’t see the inherent hilariousness of cats on Roombas.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Kind of OT, but has anyone seen the various Pratchett movies? For some reason it was when the Death of Rats appeared that Mr C and I both made squeeing noises.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I saw part of one briefly. Felt weirded out in some very unexplainable way and switched it right off. I recall that they were telemovies? I certainly saw this one on telly, anyway. It was pretty decently produced for that.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

And Man Boobz is always off-topic.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

The animated ones I disliked, but the live action Hogfather was pretty decent.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Manboobz is my sanity-sustaining haven right now, since I’ve somehow gotten into an argument on Jezebel with a dude who thinks that rage and telling the other person to fuck off is a natural and justified response to being told that you’re being either creepy or racist.

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

@lowquacks,

sorry should have been clearer. I’m Scottish and am now living in Australia as a permanent resident.

Coming from the UK where the most you fear is a bee sting, Australia is full of things that bite you and can kill you if you are silly enough to bother them inadvertently. i had to kill 3 nests of redback spiders in my last house, mostly as i was terrified for my young children. having said that, i LOVE living here, you have a fabulous (if lethal) country.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I like to remind people that the UKs most fearsome animal is the badger. To be fair I think we used to have some large predators, but we appear to have killed them all.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Fantastic! I know plenty of lovely ex-Scots from being in training for the local pipe band, and they are lovely lovely people, if entirely incomprehensible. Very generous with whisky too, in my experiences. The wee drams I’ve had gratis have not been wee at all.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@CassandraSays

I seem to remember you living in California. Did you do that at least once, or do you live there currently? You could probably claim a few semi-worrisome snakes there, and living in the same nation as wolves and bears, if nowhere near them. Are coyotes still a thing in any real way? They’d count.

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

@lowquacks…

yeah, that pipe band thing…it’s very odd to travel to other side of the world and see that. i live in ‘the Scottish Town’ and we have a Highland Gathering. it’s totes surreal.

and i generally advise people to smile and nod when i start to get excited and speed up and get all incomprehensible when i talk. and i have just bought a very nice bottle of single malt for Mr BigMomma

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

We also have mountain lions that occasionally kill joggers! And a very pretty local town that’s name means “great white shark”, so yeah, California has you covered in terms of deadly local fauna. The UK, on the other hand, is almost comically safe. I mean, there are huge sharks off the coast of Scotland, but they’re basking sharks and really not very scary.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Shit, forgot cougars, yeah. They’re nasty.

Hmm. The UK. ….are hedgehogs more spiky or fluffy? Stepping on one might not be fun? Also, foxees. Wouldn’t foxes be worse than badgers?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Another fun California fact – apparently some of the squirrels carry bubonic plague. There was a case in maybe the 90s? Where someone was bitten, ended up in the hospital, and just imagine how surprised the medical staff were to be making that diagnosis.

Point being, do not pet the cute wildlife here.

Can’t say I’m very scared of either hedgehogs or foxes, though I suppose you could hurt yourself if you tried to grab a hedgehog.

Happy
Happy
8 years ago

@ TheCatFromOuterSpace

Your points are very good ones. The majority of humans, male and female, are good and decent people. There are reactionary, vile lowlives and misfits, like the MRAs we all know, but they make up a statistically irrelevant percentage of the population.

MRAs have ruined themselves with articles like this one. Their unwillingness to separate women from feminists from crude, imaginary caricature have consigned them to a sad, lonely side line on the lunatic fringe.

Jules
Jules
8 years ago

Just gonna point out that I in no way implied the only place to meet feminist men was a university gender studies program. I suggested it because for someone who is feeling gunshy, striking up a conversation with the bagboy at the grocery store or the fella downing shots with his kickball team at the bar might sound too risky. Can a gender studies student be a misogynist? Obviously *cough* Captain Sorebottom *cough* But is the likelihood of meeting a friend who is sensitive to women’s issues higher than what you’d find playing blind man’s bluff?

I met one feminist guy at a bar. He was a student, but it was prelaw, I met another one online (though I kinda coaxed him along a bit).

But I’m not talking about just your normal process of making friends. I’m talking about helping someone who is scared not have to take quite as high of a risk.

Maybe I’m sympathetic to being too afraid to trust anyone because I’ve been there before. The idea of just giving the lawn guy a chance can be unbearable depending on what you’ve just been through. As I mentioned before, I’m very outgoing, but I’ve definitely found myself in a place where I couldn’t handle one more strange man talking me up. I got better, but it wasn’t because I forced myself to take a risk. It was because I had a few great men to focus my time and energy on until I felt secure enough to talk to strangers again.

If you’re vulnerable and you take a risk and it turns out you were wrong, it’s that much harder to get back to where you want to be.

So, of course great men aren’t only to be found in gender studies programs. But if you’re feeling scared of misogynists, trying to identify a community where misogyny is less likely to be tolerated is a good approach to help you regain your bearings.

Xanthë
8 years ago

lowquacks, the Pratchett title you’re after is The Last Continent.

Oh, and I’m another Australian BTW.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

@Lowquacks — It’s not just Terry Pratchett, though.

To be fair, here in Yankeeland we’ve got big bears and bigger bears (the biggest was hunted to extinction along with the mammoth — don’t say we never do nothing for you, laydeez!), cougars, pumas, mountain lions, catamounts (whoops, they’re all Puma concolour), cottonmouths, rattlesnakes, some rather freakishly large snakes in the Everglades, brown recluse spiders, black widow spiders, wolves, foxes, coyotes, and jackalopes. Hell, even the deer have been known to put someone in the hospital, especially if that person sprays deer musk on themselves to attract does for the rifle.

karalora
8 years ago

Don’t forget about bobcats…AKA the “wildcat” of Old West lore. About twice the size of a housecat, with the attitude of a grizzly bear.

BigMomma
BigMomma
8 years ago

@xanthe, lowquacks and magpie

vegemite sandwich and misandry round at mine later?

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

re Koalas: As I understand it, the eucalyptids have a thorazine related substance. For most of the time, the bears are doped to the gills. When they switch from one type to antother, they get very cranky, until they adjust.

lowquacks: Californian here (transplanted to New Jersey). I’ve lived up and down th state, coast and desert, with sojourns to the mountains.

We have rattlesnakes, which can be deadly; not usually, and if one knows what to do it’s merely agonising.

We have black-widows, mostly innoffensive.

We have coyotes. Mostyly not a threat to adults.

We have bears. They can be a problem, but tend to leave people alone.

We have puma/mountain lions/catamounts/American Panthers/cougars. Mostly not a threat to people.

We have bobcats. Not really a threat to people.

We have a variety of wasps.

We have scorpions. Mostly not a threat to people (there are only a couple which are dangerous to people).

There are tarantulae. Not a threat to people.

There are Great White Sharks.

There are some other toxic oceanic fauna.

There are tarantula wasps. They look scarier than they are (they are hella scarey to look at). Not a threat to people (I am told the sting is scary, and painful; when the venom wears off, but not threatening).

re squirrels: Rabies is a bigger worry than plague. There are any number of reasons for this, the most relevant being that, over time (as to be expected) plague has gotten less dangerous. The other being the fleas on squirrels are almost completely unwilling to bite people.

Alex
8 years ago

Well, I tried to go and look, but my computer lists The Spear-Head as an attack page…The aptness of that title is amusing to me.

Morgan
Morgan
8 years ago

Le sigh….more of the constant MRA double standard regarding sex.

I suppose one has to give up any chance that these people will ever acknowledge women as sexual beings with their own needs and desires, or that — gasp! — a woman who has had sex before might still be a good woman. I guess I’m insane to believe that?

*sings quietly* I am I, Don Quixote….

pillowinhell
8 years ago

I love how MRAs act like having sex before marriage is a new thing for women. Its not, people have been having sex since forever, and I don’t think the amount of premarital sex has really changed. What has changed is that pregnancies have been lowered, so there’s no way to prove that a woman has ben “sullied” unless, like me, they’ve chosen to raise their children. And I’m really not sure why MRAs want to make women “dirty” that way.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Oh yeah, regarding the Pratchett movies …

I’ve seen Hogfather and Colour of Magic. They were both four-hour made-for-TV miniseries in two two-hour parts.

Hogfather was great. It really engaged me, and I thought Death of Rats was about the most precious thing ever.

Colour of Magic was less gripping.

So the quality of the movies is kind of variable. I haven’t seen Going Postal.

I’ve also got the animated miniseries adaptation of Wyrd Sisters. The animation is fascinating. I found the dialogue less so. And there’s one of the scenes in which the playwright is conceiving of the great comedy acts of the black and white era (Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, Keaton), and his thought-bubble where these acts were animated in the cartoon were cut off halfway at the top of the screen — the only things I could see were their legs.

I think it’s a shame that he’s got Alzheimer’s. No, scratch that, it actually makes me want to cry. But there’s nothing I can do to stop it except donate to Alzheimer’s research foundations. And my donation dollar doesn’t stretch as far as it used to.

kiki
kiki
8 years ago

Mea culpa for being a jackass on the previous thread. Apologies to Magz and everyone else.

shigekuni
8 years ago

Sorry for being OT, but one of the worst things for me about the asshattery online is that I become judgmental. I used to have so much patience with friends who were racists or sexists (in weird ways, too, I had a friend who, when drunk, would fantasize about raping women up the nose), but I’ve become quick to point out people’s asshattery to them. Sometimes I need to take time off from the web to shake off the bitterness and meanness that accumulated. There is an asshat acquaintance who online-stalked one of my friends, sent her weird porn, threats and stuff (also pleas, and excuses etc.; they’d had an online relationship at one time). I sent him a firmly worded email like a month ago and broke off communications and yesterday I found out he’d killed himself. Instead of finding a way to be nice and helpful to a clearly disturbed man I was sort of mean to him. >.< This never happens with my real life interactions. Sorry for derailing. But shit sometimes piles up. Sorry.

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

CassandraSays:

I like to remind people that the UKs most fearsome animal is the badger.

Indeed.

shigekuni:

Sorry for being OT, but one of the worst things for me about the asshattery online is that I become judgmental. I used to have so much patience with friends who were racists or sexists (in weird ways, too, I had a friend who, when drunk, would fantasize about raping women up the nose), but I’ve become quick to point out people’s asshattery to them.

One thing about growing up related to fairly high-profile conservative politicians (not immediate family, but close enough to see them several times a year) is that I’ve always been very good at being diplomatic in such situations – though I did once quietly drop a friend after he outed himself to me as a homophobe.

Of course, one thing about having kids is that if you’re a natural diplomat they can be really shockingly blunt. Towards the end of the school run yesterday I bumped into one of my friends and we chatted for a bit, and then when walking away my daughter asked (channeling her mother) “Was that one of your weirdo friends?” I’m all but certain he was still within earshot.

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

It seems the Spearhead has been either hacked, or is carrying some malware in it’s advertising. I suspect the later, though they will, almost certainly, say it was the work of some feminists who are feeling threatened by them.

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

Feminists are notorious for that kind of thing.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Xanthe

That makes (at least) four! Yay for Aussie Man Boobzers (and the other ones, but they’re less immediately relevant here).

TheCatFromOuterSpace
TheCatFromOuterSpace
8 years ago

If it’s of any relevance, I live in Australia as well… although I’m much more of a lurker.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I’d say Going Postal is more similar in quality to Hogfather than to Color of Magic (which I found boring, unsurprisingly as the book is a bit boring too and I dislike Rincewind as a character). I thought that the golums were pretty well done.

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
8 years ago

While discussing Australasia, I’m from NZ, but yeah, pretty much lurk. This place moves too fast for me, and the trolls are too vitriolic. I just enjoy the rebuttals and snark of braver peoples. 😀

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
8 years ago

Shigekuni, I’m sorry such a sucky thing happened in your universe this weekend. I’m 100% certain the asshat didn’t kill himself just because you were firm with him. It would be nice if we could help everyone we come across who needs help, but we can’t. Sometimes all we can do is stop enabling bad behaviour, and let self-destructive people succeed in achieving their own destruction, hopefully minimizing the damage to ourselves.

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

@shigekuni
Nobody ups and kills themselves just because somebody writes them a negative letter and breaks off contact. At worse, it could have been ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back,’ but even in that case, you didn’t put all those other straws on there. Not your fault, and don’t even imagine for a second that it is.
Also, you have no obligation to be ‘nice’ to someone who’s playing the part of determined asshat, especially not online.

PsychoDan
PsychoDan
8 years ago

It looks like Spearhead’s malicious links have been gone long enough for them to lose the attack site label. It also looks like they’ve taken down everything to scrub it. From what I saw, it looked like bad ads; the warning page listed the malicious files as coming from other domains that looked like scams. They will, I’m sure, treat it as some sort of attack though.

I just lurrrve how Napoleon eased the “rule of thumb” in there. Nothing like quoting a ‘rule’ that allows you to beat your wife with a stick as long as it isn’t bigger than your thumb. *eyeroll*

I had to comment on this, because it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine. The exact origin of ‘rule of thumb’ is uncertain, but it’s pretty certain that it has nothing to do with wife-beating, and there’s no historical evidence that such a rule ever existed. It’s most likely origin is in some sort of rough measurement by thumb the ‘rule’ having the same root meaning as in ‘ruler’.

That’s not to deny that legalized abuse existed or anything like that. It just bothers me to see an innocent idiom vilified over something it never actually meant.

As for the Discworld movies, I liked them all to some extent. Hogfather was definitely the best of them. Going Postal was quite good too, and I was probably unfairly hard on it, since it’s my favorite of the books. And of course Colour of Magic has Jeremy Irons as a really great Vetinari (though the guy in Going Postal wasn’t bad either).

shigekuni
8 years ago

The suicide thing – since I am myself somewhat endangered I know (in the rational part of my brain) I’m not at fault directly, but when I am in a bad way, it can help to have people be nice to me. It’s distracting >.< If that makes sense. What worries me most is that I broke off contact and had no way of helping him when/if he might have needed it. People killing themselves always breaks my heart. Asshat or no asshat.

As for Diskworld, I quite liked Hogfather, but then that is one of my favorite books. I didn't like Color of Magic (and the light fantastic) as much as the other books so I sort of sidestepped the movie. Dito for Going Postal.

extraterrestrial biological entity princess

Eeeek, scary cat and robot! The extraterrestrials have invaded our living rooms! They’ve conquered us without being noticed or firing a shot!

extraterrestrial biological entity princess

Actually, apple picking is the world’s oldest profession.

seranvali
8 years ago

Falconer:

I used it listen to the Scared Wierd Little Guys quite off then at the Easter Folk Festival in Canberra. They were so funny! They aren’t kidding though. I pass four at least of the spidery snakes mentioned before I pass my gate of a morning. Also Kangawalafoxes are very gentle and slow to anger but If you piss it off enough it can do a hell of a lot of damage.
Disembowelment was never meant to be fun.

If you liked these guys, you might like to look for the Sensitive Newage Cowpersons, too

ithiliana
8 years ago

@extraterrestrial biological entity princess: apple picking is the world’s oldest profession.

!!!!

*spits coke zero all over monitor ruining internet before I can give it to you*

vibrissimo
8 years ago

Very belated comment (comment pages are like time warps: old to the posters, new to those reading them for the first time months later) but as another Aussie and Pratchett fan I’ve loved the turn this thread took.

Quackers, I really hope you’re in a happier headspace now. I’ve felt that sort of disgust for men – even knowing it is, like you said, what MRAs say about women – after spending too much time reading HuffPo’s women’s pages and seeing the relentless hatred posted by the NiceGuy(TM) brigade there. Not MRAs, but definitely misogynists. I’ve stopped reading the site, it’s too depressing. And I’m not even looking for a date or partner, I’ve been with Mr Gorgeous for yonks.

The Absolute Truth
The Absolute Truth
7 years ago

not all, but many of them are.

GM
GM
7 years ago

Sorry, there are double standards..

One small example would be crying… Acceptable for women over many small things, not acceptable for men..I doubt many women would be attracted to guys who cried almost daily over any small thing.

I am pointing out that sex is vastly different for men and women.. That is how we are made.. Even the girl who says she has casual sex without emotions points out the sex she had was with people she was already emotionally connected to, her friends.

I have found that the most insecure women are the most sexual. Making a guy cum seems to be a quick fix for their insecurities. of course aftewards they feel like trash, or are so cold that they lack feelings completely.

I have NEVER met a secure, balanced, confident woman who could just have sex, get up, leave, and feel happy never seeing the person again.