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Men’s Rights: There’s an app for that?

I’m sorry, but this is just hilarious:

That’s right, guys. That’s what you need. An app. Now you’ll be able to stop in the middle of a conversation and say, excuse me, but my phone has some crucial information that will prove to you my contention that men are the most oppressed creatures on planet earth. Excuse me while I fetch some random dubious factoid about false rape accusations that some dude found on some other dude’s blog and posted on Reddit. Wait, where are you going?

Yeah, it’s not that you guys are wrong about pretty much everything. It’s not that the vast majority of the tiny number of people who’ve even heard of your movement think you’re a joke. The only thing holding back the inevitable victory of the Men’s Rights movement is that you don’t have an app yet! Quick, someone, get on it! As soon as you recover from that Million MRA March on Washington you had last Sunday to protest the sinking of the Titanic. Oh, wait. That didn’t happen.

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Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
12 years ago

It is misandry, Clio! Where’s the app for thwarting spermjackers? See? Misandry!

drockthecasbah
12 years ago

Does anyone else see the irony in a group of men claiming that, I only they had a specific app on their iPod, Android, whatever, then they could finally reveal how universally oppressed they are?

ClioPersephone
ClioPersephone
12 years ago

Are you tired of those damn skanky wimmin’ janking your sperm for their flesh eating, entrapping wombs? There’s an app for that.

Vanessa Emma Goldman
Vanessa Emma Goldman
12 years ago

and NWOmoron would add these to the app…
THE STATE!!!!!!
BIG DADDY!!!!!

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Doesn’t he just need a webpage? If they want to get their statistics all in one place, hell, all that really takes is a blog post with a little more effort than most.

But I guess there’s two problems with them doing that:
1. The webpage would be managed by someone like our trolls, and would inevitably become a disorganized litany of women who committed violence (ZOMG women are capable of violence, feminism is a lie) quotes from women who died thirty years ago and/or weren’t feminists, and completely unsourced “FACT: feminism is a hate movement” assertions.

2. The webpage would be managed by someone a little more responsible, someone who tried to get actual sourced statistics–and would be damn near empty as he found very few proving the points he was trying to make. Plus, just figuring out the points he was trying to prove (are women killing men’s wanted babies, or spermjacking? are women falsely claiming rape, or constantly provoking rape? are women evilly stealing men’s jobs, or making men take all the hard jobs?) might break his brain.

But if the MRAs aren’t capable of putting together a webpage they’re not going to do any better with an app.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Heh, from the comments, the MRA concept of a shoestring grassroots operation:

If you really want to see something like this built and there aren’t any volunteers, what about putting something on Kickstarter to crowd fund it, then hire a freelancer? It shouldn’t cost more than 2000-3000USD if you aren’t fussy about the design.

No wonder they think feminism is a massively funded organization, if that’s what they think it costs to put up a webpage with some statistics.

Falconer
12 years ago

It is a desp’rate MRA
And he poketh on his phone,
“By thy unkempt hair and thy bloodshot eye,
Now go, and leave me ‘lone!

“You’ve lost this fight and whined so much
I scarce could stand it then;
But now you’ve got your stupid phone,
Why should I care a pin?”

He holds him with his shaking hand,
“I have an app,” quoth he,
“Fuck off! Get that thing out my face!”
But he would not let him be.

M Dubz
M Dubz
12 years ago

@drockthecasbah- Yes, precisely.

Falconer
12 years ago

Damn, my register’s all over the place.

… I did it that way so it would be funnier.

Yeah, that’s it.

M Dubz
M Dubz
12 years ago

@drockthecasbah- Yes, exactly. They are SOOO oppressed, but only if you discount 99% of the world’s population.

katz
12 years ago

Falconer: For some reason I wanted to read that to the tune of “Yankee Doodle.”
“‘Tis a desp’rate MRA, he poketh on his phone-y…”

katz
12 years ago

“…Wants to look up lots of facts but they are all baloney.”

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Maybe they should just try this:

http://www.wikia.com/Wikia

I bet it even works on the iphone!

lauralot89
12 years ago

Shorter Antz: I PROJECT MY FEARS ONTO YOU, BIGOTS.

Falconer
12 years ago

@Katz: I lol’d.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Actually, I would really love for there to be a centralized MRA fact site. It would make dialogue so much more efficient. Sorting stuff into “complete lie,” “technically true, but misrepresentation,” and “true, but trolling feminist blogs probably won’t fix it” is a labor-intensive process right now! Having the MRAs draw their stats from one place would let us streamline our responses to those stats.

kiki
kiki
12 years ago

The way Antz fails is simply spectacular
He’s less Edward Cullen and more Count Whackula

kiki
kiki
12 years ago

(Or ‘Less Patrick Stewart and more Scott Bakula’ if that suits your prejudices.)

katz
12 years ago

What have we got against Scott Bakula?

pillowinhell
12 years ago

Oh the sighing and handwringing that wil go on until the app is created!! I wonder just how long they’ll bravely and resolutely sit on their thumbs waiting for it?

I would love to see the looks on their faces should that app be developed and it still gets them nowhere.

Hey MRAS? Now, I’m just a tiny little lady thing with a smartphone….but I can remeber my stats AND I use bookmarks to store and sort through studies relevant to what I wish to post about. Which makes me better at logical thinking, problem solving and using knowledge and technology better than you. Wanna rethink the issues your having about making your points regarding your oppession?

Cue the “feminism runs everything so there aren’t any studies argument…”

pillowinhell
12 years ago

How long until the “feminists haven’t built this app for us that’s misandry!”

Happy
Happy
12 years ago

Antz, good of you to join us.

You recently announced that feminism had lost and that MRAs have won.

Can you please explain to all present if this is still the case? Especially given the humiliating “Sink Misandry” debacle and Tom Martin’s failure of a lawsuit?

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
12 years ago

RAWR! I just downloaded the Register-Her app so I could add names of the women who piss me off while I’m on the go and it just crashed! PROOF of the feminist conspiracy! There must be manginas working at the developer.

kiki
kiki
12 years ago

“‘Tis a desp’rate MRA, he poketh on his phone-y…”

He found some bullshit on his app
And called it alimony OMG MISANDRIC INDENTURED SERVITUDE