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grandiosity I'm totally being sarcastic MRA oppressed men reddit

Men’s Rights: There’s an app for that?

I’m sorry, but this is just hilarious:

That’s right, guys. That’s what you need. An app. Now you’ll be able to stop in the middle of a conversation and say, excuse me, but my phone has some crucial information that will prove to you my contention that men are the most oppressed creatures on planet earth. Excuse me while I fetch some random dubious factoid about false rape accusations that some dude found on some other dude’s blog and posted on Reddit. Wait, where are you going?

Yeah, it’s not that you guys are wrong about pretty much everything. It’s not that the vast majority of the tiny number of people who’ve even heard of your movement think you’re a joke. The only thing holding back the inevitable victory of the Men’s Rights movement is that you don’t have an app yet! Quick, someone, get on it! As soon as you recover from that Million MRA March on Washington you had last Sunday to protest the sinking of the Titanic. Oh, wait. That didn’t happen.

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BlackBloc
BlackBloc
8 years ago

Here you go guys.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/wikipedia-mobile/id324715238?mt=8

Disclaimer: app may contain actual facts rather than made up facts to support your dubious arguments.

Steph
8 years ago

“See, these pigs represent spoiled Western ameriskanks, ’cause they’re all gross and fat, and they’ve taken away our kids — those are the eggs — and these birds represent the righteous rage of MRAs. Not saying I condone it or anything, but if you women keep acting like this, you’ll have only yourselves to blame when men wake up and start flinging themselves into your house with a giant slingslot!”

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Y’know, I have a bunch of hoarded papers on my comp (and sometimes photocopies) about multiplicity treatment among my stuff. I have them so I have an easy ready supply of quotes about how people shouldn’t be called people, because it’ll encourage them to exist, and so on and so forth.

I think there are a lot fewer scientific papers on multi than there are gender relations. If I can do my research, why can’t these knuckleheads?

Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

The next step is a Men’s Rights iSuppository, so they can pull facts out of their ass literally as well as figuratively.

“Ever heard of Eugene Kanin? Hang on for about five minutes, I have some information tucked away that you may find interesting…”

Anthony Zarat
8 years ago

It is not surprising that you are so afraid of facts. It is suprising that you are not ashamed of being afraid of facts.

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

Antz: who is afraid? Does David sound afraid in the OP, does the commenters do? Everybody is just laughing their ass off.

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

I read “break in conversation” as “the other person talking.”

Although, I suppose this would make arguing about the methodology easier, rather than going on, “Well, there was this thing I read-“

Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Wow, Antsy, nice reading comprehension. Your reading skills must be on par with a rattlesnake or a mountain goat or somethibg like that. Hang on, I feel a limerick coming; this fail is too great for prose.

There once was a puppy named Antsy
who could not read, so he went dancing.
He made up his mind,
but no partner did he find,
so he made up others to suit his fancy.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
8 years ago

Antz, you wouldn’t know a fact if it bit you on the bum.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
8 years ago

Antz, you wouldn’t know a fact if it bit you on the bum.

There’s an app for that too.

ostara321
ostara321
8 years ago

They do know that fact =/= heresay and debunked studies, right?

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

BTW, I don’t get it, they want this app to discuss with non-MRA, outside the internet? But Antz! i thought it was too dangerous and MRAs had to hide their MRA affiliation to all! Won’t it give it away if you use a MRA app?

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

…They know there are Reddit apps, right? o_O

ozymandias42
8 years ago

Is it that hard to just remember the facts about gender that come up time and time again in conversations? I can recall, e.g., the rate of sexual assault among men or that trans women of color are at a tremendous risk of being murdered, without an app.

ostara321
ostara321
8 years ago

Kyrie, surely some brave freedom fighters will be willing to sacrifice their identity in order to become purveyors of truth. Fight on, oh brave, oppressed ones!

No really, do. I’d actually love to see how people react to your rantings and “facts” in the real world.

ostara321
ostara321
8 years ago

ozy, those are made up feminazi lies. Which are easier to remember than man facts. It’s true, an MRA told me.

Shaenon
8 years ago

They…don’t actually know what an “app” is, do they?

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

MRA data are usually quite easy to remember: 90%, 99%, 75%, whore, slut. What am I forgetting?

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

@Kyrie: Hypergamy, sperm-jacking, mangina, child support. I think that’s the whole shebang!

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

You forgot “white knight”.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

“99% of women are hypergamous whores. 75% of women everywhere will try to sperm-jack a man to get child support. Ignore the white knights; 90% of those manginas are just trying to get some sex from feminist sluts.”

Yeah, seems to work pretty well!

Ruby Hypatia
Ruby Hypatia
8 years ago

Too funny, David. How many times a day do these guys need to stop and have a hategasm anyway?

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

Don’t forget that it’s genetically hardwired.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
8 years ago

I can hear the advertisements now! “Are you an asshat with a chronic case of douchebaggery? There’s an app for that.” “Do you worry about organizing all your misogynistic talking points? There’s an app for that.”

Except in Antz case. “Do you have the comprehension skills of a drunken gnat? There’s an app for that. When presented with contrary evidence that destroys your argument, the app will tell you how many times to screech ‘Bigot.'”

ClioPersephone
ClioPersephone
8 years ago

I leave for a few months and now they are trying to get an app? Oi vey…

I wonder how they feel about the rape advocacy/support apps, the safe ride apps, and any other apps geared towards women and their safety. Calls for misandry in 3-2-1…

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
8 years ago

It is misandry, Clio! Where’s the app for thwarting spermjackers? See? Misandry!

drockthecasbah
8 years ago

Does anyone else see the irony in a group of men claiming that, I only they had a specific app on their iPod, Android, whatever, then they could finally reveal how universally oppressed they are?

ClioPersephone
ClioPersephone
8 years ago

Are you tired of those damn skanky wimmin’ janking your sperm for their flesh eating, entrapping wombs? There’s an app for that.

Vanessa Emma Goldman
Vanessa Emma Goldman
8 years ago

and NWOmoron would add these to the app…
THE STATE!!!!!!
BIG DADDY!!!!!

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

Doesn’t he just need a webpage? If they want to get their statistics all in one place, hell, all that really takes is a blog post with a little more effort than most.

But I guess there’s two problems with them doing that:
1. The webpage would be managed by someone like our trolls, and would inevitably become a disorganized litany of women who committed violence (ZOMG women are capable of violence, feminism is a lie) quotes from women who died thirty years ago and/or weren’t feminists, and completely unsourced “FACT: feminism is a hate movement” assertions.

2. The webpage would be managed by someone a little more responsible, someone who tried to get actual sourced statistics–and would be damn near empty as he found very few proving the points he was trying to make. Plus, just figuring out the points he was trying to prove (are women killing men’s wanted babies, or spermjacking? are women falsely claiming rape, or constantly provoking rape? are women evilly stealing men’s jobs, or making men take all the hard jobs?) might break his brain.

But if the MRAs aren’t capable of putting together a webpage they’re not going to do any better with an app.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

Heh, from the comments, the MRA concept of a shoestring grassroots operation:

If you really want to see something like this built and there aren’t any volunteers, what about putting something on Kickstarter to crowd fund it, then hire a freelancer? It shouldn’t cost more than 2000-3000USD if you aren’t fussy about the design.

No wonder they think feminism is a massively funded organization, if that’s what they think it costs to put up a webpage with some statistics.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

It is a desp’rate MRA
And he poketh on his phone,
“By thy unkempt hair and thy bloodshot eye,
Now go, and leave me ‘lone!

“You’ve lost this fight and whined so much
I scarce could stand it then;
But now you’ve got your stupid phone,
Why should I care a pin?”

He holds him with his shaking hand,
“I have an app,” quoth he,
“Fuck off! Get that thing out my face!”
But he would not let him be.

M Dubz
M Dubz
8 years ago

@drockthecasbah- Yes, precisely.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Damn, my register’s all over the place.

… I did it that way so it would be funnier.

Yeah, that’s it.

M Dubz
M Dubz
8 years ago

@drockthecasbah- Yes, exactly. They are SOOO oppressed, but only if you discount 99% of the world’s population.

katz
8 years ago

Falconer: For some reason I wanted to read that to the tune of “Yankee Doodle.”
“‘Tis a desp’rate MRA, he poketh on his phone-y…”

katz
8 years ago

“…Wants to look up lots of facts but they are all baloney.”

Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Maybe they should just try this:

http://www.wikia.com/Wikia

I bet it even works on the iphone!

lauralot89
8 years ago

Shorter Antz: I PROJECT MY FEARS ONTO YOU, BIGOTS.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

@Katz: I lol’d.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

Actually, I would really love for there to be a centralized MRA fact site. It would make dialogue so much more efficient. Sorting stuff into “complete lie,” “technically true, but misrepresentation,” and “true, but trolling feminist blogs probably won’t fix it” is a labor-intensive process right now! Having the MRAs draw their stats from one place would let us streamline our responses to those stats.

kiki
kiki
8 years ago

The way Antz fails is simply spectacular
He’s less Edward Cullen and more Count Whackula

kiki
kiki
8 years ago

(Or ‘Less Patrick Stewart and more Scott Bakula’ if that suits your prejudices.)

katz
8 years ago

What have we got against Scott Bakula?

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Oh the sighing and handwringing that wil go on until the app is created!! I wonder just how long they’ll bravely and resolutely sit on their thumbs waiting for it?

I would love to see the looks on their faces should that app be developed and it still gets them nowhere.

Hey MRAS? Now, I’m just a tiny little lady thing with a smartphone….but I can remeber my stats AND I use bookmarks to store and sort through studies relevant to what I wish to post about. Which makes me better at logical thinking, problem solving and using knowledge and technology better than you. Wanna rethink the issues your having about making your points regarding your oppession?

Cue the “feminism runs everything so there aren’t any studies argument…”

pillowinhell
8 years ago

How long until the “feminists haven’t built this app for us that’s misandry!”

Happy
Happy
8 years ago

Antz, good of you to join us.

You recently announced that feminism had lost and that MRAs have won.

Can you please explain to all present if this is still the case? Especially given the humiliating “Sink Misandry” debacle and Tom Martin’s failure of a lawsuit?

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
8 years ago

RAWR! I just downloaded the Register-Her app so I could add names of the women who piss me off while I’m on the go and it just crashed! PROOF of the feminist conspiracy! There must be manginas working at the developer.

kiki
kiki
8 years ago

“‘Tis a desp’rate MRA, he poketh on his phone-y…”

He found some bullshit on his app
And called it alimony OMG MISANDRIC INDENTURED SERVITUDE