Over on A Voice for Men, Paul Elam is knocking the clichés out of the park! In a post about … oh, something about feminists being about to get their big comeuppance, who the fuck cares, all his posts are pretty much the same at this point, he explains how the mean feminists’
gravy train is about to derail, and that right quickly. One set of wheels is already off the track. … the choo choo is hittin’ poo poo.
That’s right, the metaphorical feminist gravy train is metaphorically derailing into a metaphorical mountain of metaphorical poop.
After a few more paragraphs of this poopery, Elam offers up a bit of inspiration for his troops:
[T]he times they are a changing. The worm is turning and lies are burning. Their whole house of cards is about to go up in a puff. What you are seeing is just the desperation that comes with them waking up to it.
Believe me, it does my heart good. Just to see their frantic scrambling to point the finger at me and my brothers, while they comically pretend our sisters aren’t standing right next to us, every time one more their lies bites the dust, is an absolute highlight in my day.
Must be time to crank up the action around here.
And then he really kicks it into high gear:
Keep your eye on the ball, boys. Put the pedal to the metal. Wake up and smell the coffee, feminists, because the shoe is on the other foot now! We’re burning the candle at both ends — because when the going gets tough the tough get going. What goes around comes around. Feminists and manginas, you made your bed, now you’re going to have to lie in it. The tide’s beginning to turn, all you gender ideologues and your lackeys at the SPLC, and it looks like there’s a new sheriff in town! Remember, nice guys finish last. And it ain’t over till the fat lady sings!
Ok, that’s not really Elam any more. That’s just a bunch of random clichés borrowed from Steve’s Cliché List, with some references to feminists and manginas and the Southern Poverty Law Center shoved in here and there.
Huh. I think I just figured out how Elam writes his posts.
EDITED TO ADD: For whatever reason, this post is no longer up at AVFM; here’s the Google cache version. Read the comments there too; quite a little shitstorm going on there.
With Abject Apologies to Langston Hughes
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams are stolen by the feminist sex cartel
Life is a broken-winged virtual lover
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when millions of unborn dreams are slaughtered with delight by feminists
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow, and filled with shivering MRAs.
(oh, and my first was a total ripoff of e.e. cummings. if antsy can plagiarize, so can I!)
They called him the man with the plan,
the wall-’em-off, hook us up plan.
Don’t call it the Matrix;
that’s feminist hate speech.
Call it the Andrix, or perhaps Penis-Land.
@Kirby: quite an improvement!
I like your approach, cloudiah!
My Mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun.
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red.
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
She is, after all, a feminist sexual slaver,
and for her looks gives no red rat’s behind.
I once went to the store and bought her a razor;
but, thinking twice, I knew she’d poke me blind.
I hate to hear her speak, yet well I know
that her jaunty skipping to the Court hath a far more loathesome sound;
I wish I had to Thailand for a FOREIGN BRIDE flown,
for my Mistress, when she walks, shakes the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think VR as rare
as any FOREIGN BRIDE belied by false compare.
I kneel at the feet of my poet-masters&mistresses.
Zarat feared his FOREIGN BRIDE
would leave him in the lurch.
So he found a place to hide
and started his reseach.
“My FOREIGN BRIDE is sweet and kind,
and full of loving sentiments.
If only I could free her mind
of all that pesky sentience!”
“Of course! I’ll make a VR clone
that imitates her shape!
I’ll finally have someone to bone
that can’t ever escape!”
“The feminist control the sex,
but oh, how they will scream
when my VR creation wrecks
their money-making scheme!”
And so, brave Zarat soldiers on,
and fights for the legality
of non-existant VR pron,
and freedom from reality.
“I say “fortunately”, because I find the rhetorical discipline services provided by this site to be quite useful. You are great practice for debating people with no principles. Since most of you don’t have any.”
You are the one plagiarizing as well as promoting child porn, so do not even talk about principles, you do not even know what principles are.
You are an evil, vapid person with delusions of adequacy.
Relax, my friends, and let me tell a tale
Of lies, deceit, treachery and despair,
Of jealousy, of love of children fair,
But mostly of a certain bulldog’s fail.
Donned he his intellectual armor true.
Grabbed he his sharpened, battle-tested wit.
His metaphoric steed chomped at the bit,
And to the den of vipers swift he flew.
His mind was set on justice for the few
Who’d not exist for ’bout a hundred years.
His blade would work to wipe away their tears
of forced affections to their unjust rule.
Beware, for future woman scorns the love
That man may feel towards his virtual child,
So sex she prices ‘ccording to her whim.
The cries of Justice heard in skies above
As Zarat races onwards to the wild;
Delusion sadly shared only by him.
It appears that there Boob land has a high concentration of aspiring lyricists. I guess this is the destiny of English Lit peons (with a minor in bigotry, excuse me, “gender studies”).
For those not in the know, my last was Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130, rejiggered. Harryette Mullen did a fun rehash of that sonnet of her own:
http://mail.horacemann.org/~adam_casdin/Poems/dimlady.html
Of men’s rights, he thought himself defender;
and against feminists, the chief offender.
He was a man in a dream,
or so it would seem
to those whose heads hadn’t been through a blender.
In English class, we learned that if you say “I don’t give a shit about child porn,” that may give your readers the impression that you are not concerned about child pornography.
We also learned that it’s wrong to take something written by someone else and claim that you wrote it.
There is no need to be so rude,
oh craver of synthetic flesh.
I think that you’re just jealous dude,
because you know our rhymes are fresh.
Like the great Quixote, he wheeled his horse about,
his ardour, like his breath, steaming from his snout.
With justice, he roared,
against bigotry, abhorred;
for when Antsy’s in town, Gender Studies, look out!
@AntZ:
Bro, you wish you could rhyme like us,
Troll our trolls all the time like us…
Bro, you couldn’t be sublime like us,
No matter how you try.
Just try and match our Logger’s Limericks.
You’re nothin compared to Dracula’s tricks.
Cloudiah’s verse will leave you a mix,
‘Gainst Kirby’s sonnets you’ll fry.
Welcome to manboobz, home of the snark.
We’ll knock your bigot ass out of the park
With written word zingers leaving you in the dark…
You’re out of your league, son. Time to say goodbye. 🙂
BIGOTS: a prose poem in 14 stanzas
By Anthony Zarat
I.
A wonderful gift for men, boys, and fathers!
Courtesy of the feminist grinch-army of snivelling curs
and gutless jellyfish
who defend their entrenched privilege
with craven slander against the most
impactful civil rights movement of the third millennium
II.
One day soon, men AND
women will have fulfilling, long-term exclusive
relationships
with computerassisteddreamstatevirtualpartners
who exist only in our minds.
III.
Love,
adventure,
compassion,
encouragement,
and
partnership
are all phenomena that manifest entirely within
our minds.
IV.
The wasteful and destructive
conflicts that
invariably result from attempts
by men
and women to
share space and life will no longer
be necessary.
V.
I expect that men and women
will drift
into separate and rarely interracting species,
each of which will prosper more by
the absence of the other.
VIII. Physical Biosciences
The imaginative human mind will stitch together
the rest.
Initially, drugs may be needed
to boost Oxytocin.
IX.
The tactic is using fringe cases
(child-like-in-appearance)
as a convenient short-cut to the slippery slope
that leads to illegality
(and continued enslavement of men by feminist modern marriage).
X.
Your intolerance and bigotry boggles the imagination.
XI.
Meanwhile, boob king Futrelle
sings a mighty sermon, stirring the faithful
into a frothy fury
because a few MRAs responded to an April fool’s joke
by saying it would be OK to
tummy punch
a GF to prevent
“genetic material” theft.
XII.
Danny’s head was the size of a navel orange at birth
(4 inches).
My FOREIGN BRIDE pushed three times and popped him out.
I do believe that she is baked
from tougher dough than any of you.
XIII.
My dear wife looked at me and
screemed
“I .. have had .. enough .. OF THIS!!!”
and boom.
XIV.
Data collection is concluded. Time for me to go
*snap snap snap snap snap*
Er, stanzas VI and VII are invisible, by design. Yeah, I totally meant to do that.
He took Antsy as his nom de guerre,
along with a crate of new underwear:
for the battle is harsh
and it’s like a marsh
when you’re at war and you can’t wash…down there.
I’m taking a break from the books to Q this FT!!
I was going for more of a poetry-appreciation finger snap, but… Ok. O_O
Cert was denied, so the SCOTUS ruling still stands, the third cir. plays and interesting legal move, they do in fact claim that it is not a child porn ban case, but rather a general obscenity law case (which is what the Miller Standard bit is about).
This is rather important in some cases, because child porn bans are allowed to be total categorical bans and you can ban mere possession (fyi, the charge at issue in the Whorley case was not possession, but rather receiving, and involved using a public computer). This is distinct from general obscentity laws, which have to include certain first amendment exceptions for things like artistic or scientific merit, and where you can’t criminalize mere possession.
So, classing it as a child porn ruling is technically a legal mistake. It’s not a child porn ruling per se, it’s a ruling about obscene materials which happen to be obscene because they depict child characters engaging in sexual intercourse. In other words, the standards applied are the ones which would be permissable to apply in any obscenity law, not only in child porn cases. Going by the Third Cir. decision, the ban is okay because it is an acceptable obscenity ban, not because it is a child porn ban. The rules able to be applied are the ones which the government is allowed to oppose in any obscenity law, not those that apply to child pornography in and of itself. Banning virtual child porn under the auspices of child porn qua child porn is not allowed, banning virtual child porn as obscene may be allowable,
I’m not the best person to have make the case for obscenity laws, because I categorically oppose them (though the Court has ruled they are constitutional, so that’s a personal opinion not necessarily a legal one, but I do think the reasoning behind removing obscenity from first amendment protection is also total horseshit, so…). However, this case is legally an obscenity case.
@darksidecat, Thanks for the explanation.
These are indeed some dope rhymes.
@Antz, seriously? Again with the feminists-want-to-wreck-VR-sex-because-I-said-so-that’s-why ridiculousness? Sometimes I wonder if you think that you, personally, are so very important that the entire feminist movement was created solely to mess up your deeply significant life. Dude, no. Feminists do not spend hours on end plotting out how to make you miserable. Unless you’re hurting others, no feminist is going to give a damn about how you get off; much like how, unless you’re hurting others, no feminist is going to give a damn whether you prefer whip cream or syrup on your waffles. The things you do with your private time are no one’s business but yours. If you’re not causing harm to anyone, why would we care? Really? Are you confusing sex-positive feminism with the Religious Right? If so, that’s one hell of an error, because those two movements are different in some pretty fundamental ways.
@Dracula:
For this, I would like to offer you this gently-used internet. Don’t shake it, lolcats fall out.
Huh. I don’t know how I screwed up the formatting in that blockquote o_O.
It aint easy bein a dude in a world full of chicks
You aint a man, Futrelle, you just a girl with a dick
You’re the one with the man-boobs, cleavage a dark chasm
Afraid to face the facts, just speakin in sarcasm
Society is sexist towards men, we’re tryin to fight the sickness
You and your followers are just some spiteful bitches
You’re weak, you aint a fighter like me, you just a little pushy
Nothin but a douchebag hopin for some pity pussy