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a voice for men antifeminism block that metaphor grandiosity I am making a joke MRA paul elam worst writing in the history of the universe

A Voice for Men takes the last gravy train to Clicheville

Over on A Voice for Men, Paul Elam is knocking the clichés out of the park! In a post about … oh, something about feminists being about to get their big comeuppance, who the fuck cares, all his posts are pretty much the same at this point, he explains how the mean feminists’

gravy train is about to derail, and that right quickly. One set of wheels is already off the track. … the choo choo is hittin’ poo poo.

That’s right, the metaphorical feminist gravy train is metaphorically derailing into a metaphorical mountain of metaphorical poop.

After a few more paragraphs of this poopery, Elam offers up a bit of inspiration for his troops:

[T]he times they are a changing. The worm is turning and lies are burning. Their whole house of cards is about to go up in a puff. What you are seeing is just the desperation that comes with them waking up to it.

Believe me, it does my heart good. Just to see their frantic scrambling to point the finger at me and my brothers, while they comically pretend our sisters aren’t standing right next to us, every time one more their lies bites the dust, is an absolute highlight in my day.

Must be time to crank up the action around here.

And then he really kicks it into high gear:

Keep your eye on the ball, boys. Put the pedal to the metal.  Wake up and smell the coffee, feminists, because the shoe is on the other foot now!  We’re burning the candle at both ends  — because when the going gets tough the tough get going. What goes around comes around. Feminists and manginas, you made your bed, now you’re going to have to lie in it. The tide’s beginning to turn, all you gender ideologues and your lackeys at the SPLC, and it looks like there’s a new sheriff in town! Remember, nice guys finish last. And it ain’t over till the fat lady sings!

Ok, that’s not really Elam any more. That’s just a bunch of random clichés borrowed from Steve’s Cliché List, with some references to feminists and manginas and the Southern Poverty Law Center shoved in here and there.

Huh. I think I just figured out how Elam writes his posts.

EDITED TO ADD: For whatever reason, this post is no longer up at AVFM; here’s the Google cache version. Read the comments there too; quite a little shitstorm going on there.

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lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

*daps Kirby*

Did you steal a jumbuck? Cause you’re drowning in swag, man.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

“Pity pussy?” Dude, there are WAY more efficient methods to get laid than starting a blog.

My pussy* would only lie on David’s chest and stare at him while he was trying to sleep. Or on his side if he has enough cushion space.

*pussy is Anne the Cat who normally claws everyone to death who is not me and sometimes my roommate.

Alex
8 years ago

That was awesome, too, lowquacks!

Alex
8 years ago

I hope you both don’t mind if I copy and paste those into a word document just so I can read them whenever I feel like laughing in a good way?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
8 years ago

@Alex:

I don’t mind at all.

@lowquacks:

I put that jumbuck in Tucker’s bag. We’re going waltzing! Matilda’s with me. 😀

cloudiah
8 years ago

I hope you both don’t mind if I copy and paste those into a word document just so I can read them whenever I feel like laughing in a good way?

Me too! Me toooooo!

Canaduck
Canaduck
8 years ago

lowquacks and Kirby, I rarely comment. But those were freaking amazing and I have to applaud you both.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

Kirby and lowquacks – Good show.

Casper – So, society is sexist against men, huh? Is that why you chose to characterize our gracious host as incompetent and weak by calling him a girl? All that internalized anti-male sexism? Get fuckin’ clue, dude. You’re damned out of your own mouth.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Dracula

I go by “flowquacks” in the rap game, thanks.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

My apologies.

trackback

[…] Caspar’s original submission: It aint easy bein a dude in a world full of chicks You aint a man, Futrelle, you just a girl with a dick You’re the one with the man-boobs, cleavage a dark chasm Afraid to face the facts, just speakin in sarcasm Society is sexist towards men, we’re tryin to fight the sickness You and your followers are just some spiteful bitches You’re weak, you aint a fighter like me, you just a little pushy Nothin but a douchebag hopin for some pity pussy […]

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