Here’s a preview of the talk I’ll be giving at Northwestern tonight.
Remember, the talk — on “How to hate women and have terrible sex: Misogynistic sex myths, and how they ruin sex for everyone” – will be at 8 PM in Room G02 of Annenberg Hall on the Northwestern Campus in Evanston.
(Here’s a map.)
See you there!
Oh, and also, The Spearhead has discovered that I will be giving a talk. W. F. Price writes about it with his usual objectivity, by which I mean that his piece is filled with lies and weird projection.
EDITED TO ADD: And now the Men’s Rights Subreddit gets in on the fun! Apparently they are also very concerned about my weight.
Excuse me? on what planet are you living on where minimum wage retail jobs pay rent? what about food? utilities? phone and internet? clothing and all the other costs associated with living on your own?
Try 3 retail jobs and most likely living with a roommate. $10 an hour doesn’t pay rent unless you’re living in a fucking closet. Not even. I can sort of get your point, a lot of 20-somethings do sometimes expect too much. But you’re coming off as equally arrogant and stuck up quite honestly.
Put it this way, we’re fed this shit about going to college/uni, getting an education, working hard then graduating into a nice job. Ok, even working retail for a year until the good job comes, I get it. But what happens when one year becomes two? two becomes three? three becomes 10? do you know how much of a fucking failure you feel like when you did everything you were supposed to and still have no job in your field and are barely making ends meet that you have little choice but to live at home? not to mention companies don’t hire for skills only. We live in a society where who you know and how much ass kissing gets you far, not your work skills. We live in a society that awards extroversion and psychopathic personality traits over introversion and kindness. We live in a society that demands 1-3 years experience in the field you graduated in, yet no one gives you that experience and even a co-op placement you did isn’t enough.
This goes way beyond simple laziness. Its part of a much bigger problem. Disgustingly high tuition costs, high rent cost, too low wages in retail and customer service jobs and a bullshit “American Dream” where hard work gets you everything when in reality it’s nothing but dumb luck, the right personality and connections.
RE: transabled
Uh, from what I understood ‘transabled,’ it was people claiming to feel disabled and thereby completely abandoning their actual TAB privilege, in the same vain as the transethnic people. Am I totally offbase here?
@Falconer
Hah. There are actually a few sexuality studies pundits whose study of men’s problems can be termed “men’s studies” and who are generally pro-men without being pro-PUA, like Clarisse Thorne and Charlie Glickman (PhD, FWIW).
LBT:
I don’t think so: from what I’ve heard, there’s a legit difference between people who are obsessed with thoughts of self-harm (BIID) and people like Chloe Jennings-White, who uses a wheelchair in public but gets out of it at home (or to catch some sweet powder at the slopes) because “it’s easier.”
Wow. I kind of want to punch this woman.
I don’t care in the slightest if she wants to ride around in a wheelchair and leg braces. If that makes her happy, more power to her. But when she starts doing things like taking disabled parking spaces despite being entirely physically capable of traveling longer distances without pain…grr.
(I am perhaps particularly angered by that detail because, as I mentioned, I’ve only switched to the wheelchair recently; for the past year, I’ve had to use a cane to get around. Walking hurts a lot. It tires me out badly. I frequently get dizzy from the combination of the pain and the effects of my meds. And I have never taken a disabled parking space, even though I could, because I worry about taking it away from someone who needs it worse than me.)
If that’s the same Chloe, she’s one of the posters at the transabled blog. I haven’t read enough of her writings – or really, anyone’s there – to know their views on privilege, but from what I have read, it doesn’t appear that they’re denying they have it. Just that they also feel they have a condition in which they can’t feel whole while able-bodied. I will admit the the whole thing is confusing to me, but the idea does feel extremely close to the persistent feelings of self-harm I’ve had.
Wow, I hadn’t read the whole article before I posted my comment. Taking those parking spaces and the like is seriously messed up. I’m glad I haven’t read that many of her posts now, and I don’t plan on reading more from her in the future.
@Lauralot: I haven’t read any of those articles or anything, but these folk are seriously taking handicapped parking spaces without needing them?! My gast is totally flabbered.
RE: Lauralot and Voip
Thanks for the clarification. I was kinda O_o there for a moment. (The folks I know who have disabilities tend to RAGE at the people like the person taking handicapped spaces and such. It seems similar to the women’s conference I heard about where the POC space had to hang a sign for, “people who are POC in this life ONLY” because they kept getting obnoxious white women wanting to barge in claiming they were Harriet Tubman in a past life.)
I admit that I think the wheelchair is a pretty awesome piece of equipment, and every once in a while want to try using one out of curiosity… but if I wheel around in one to learn, I’m not going to steal people’s parking spaces, Christ! (Though I have taken those seats on the subway before. I was really, really not well and exhausted moving around.)
@Rogan
You’re shitting me!
@lauralot89
let me know if you’d like some help with your resume. I just got a job doing data entry stuff and was applying for similar jobs. I’d be happy to offer advice, help you with your resume, give you moral support or anything else that you might possibly need on your job search. I’m home until next Monday with very little to do if you’d like it. Finding a job in this field that is legitimate is difficult, and as such I think that helping each other network, communicate etc is helpful.
RE: Shadow
It is secondhand knowledge, but I really think that’s what they had to do.
My racial situation is… complicated, to say the least, but I don’t go walking around pretending I don’t have the privileges I got! JESUS.
PS: Look up ‘transethnic.’ Then try not to cry.
I’be been wheelchair (and kneelchair) bound. It’s always a sad awakening when it happens, because one becomes less of a person. The wheelchair is the worse. It makes one short, and it’s got more cooties than crutches, etc. (esp. if one is in a cast, or has some sign of the disability being transitory).
To not need one, and take a disabled spot? Not on. When I had my disabled placard I didn’t like using it. It’s not that I was feeling superior, or wanted to be the martyr, it was that I didn’t really think I needed it. I could manage to wheel a little futher, and someone who had something like congestive heart problems, or emphysema, or a wheelchair, almost certainly needed it MORE.
So yeah, assholes like that… may they come to see themelves as they really are; if only for a moment.
Also ARRRRRRGH just read that article. Must… not… gouge at eyes…
If I were to use a wheelchair it’d be explicitly so I realize that it’s HARD and would force me, for however short a time, to recognize how much I take for granted as someone who doesn’t rely on ramps. (If I were on wheels, for instance, I would be unable to reach my home OR my room OR the library, all of which are only accessible by stairs. And that’s just what pops immediately to mind.) GAAAAH.
LBT, I think taking the subway seat is OK because you’re right there and if someone who obviously needs the seat more than you gets on, you can just move (with parking spots, you have no way of knowing if someone who needed the spot showed up).
RE: katz
Yeah, and I generally figured if somebody really needed it, I’d get the fuck up.
…but generally I was so spent just dragging my sickly ass to the subway, I’m not sure I could’ve stayed vertical even if I’d needed to. I REALLY shouldn’t have been on that train.
@Rogan
aahh “transethnic”, always good for a chuckle. I also find it darkly funny that (IME anyways) the ones who think this is a thing are the same ones who don’t get that leeway from their friends of different ethnicities. The non-black person that gets the leeway to call their friends “nigga”, or the non-brown person that gets the leeway to call their South Asian friends “paki” also tend to be racially aware enough to understand that it’s an expression of trust and acceptance from their friends, not some universal endorsement by an ethnicity.
I tried to use my yellow belt in google-fu to track down that story you mentioned, but sadly no luck. I would have loved to read the WTF response from POCs.
Yeah, taking the seat is fine, provided you DO actually get up and don’t pull the depressingly-common game of “if I don’t SEE the disabled person, they don’t exist!” When I’ve had to get on crowded trains in Boston and New York in the past year, there was virtually always at least one person sitting in the “please give up this seat to disabled or elderly people” seat who would look very hard in whatever direction I’m not. It’s merely humorously annoying when it’s just one person, and someone in the next seat has the basic decency to figure out that they can probably stand up better than the woman on a cane can, but there were a few trips in which all the seats were taken by those people. (Although I admit, there’s something hilarious in a “maybe we should just nuke the Earth from orbit now” sort of way about standing in the middle of a full subway car, visibly wincing in pain and struggling to stay upright, and having the entire car ostentatiously not look at me.)
RE: Polliwog
Yeah, when I’m not incredibly sick and weak (which hasn’t happened for two months woo!) I have a habit of never taking that seat. I don’t NEED it.
RE: Shadow
It’s one of those stories I heard from a friend, but it’s certainly possible it’s an urban myth. Just, with the people I’ve seen, I would be totally unsurprised if it were true.
Was it Mark Twain who remarked “He who can does, he who cannot, teaches, and he who cannot teach, teaches the teachers”?
This is what a lecture or seminar on “good sex” by this David Futrelle would amount to. After all, if he knew the subject, he would be enjoying himself (and his women would be enjoying themselves) and wouldn’t have either the time or inclination to give such a talk to college feminists, most of whom are probably beyond sexual redemption anyhow!
Oh, fuck off and play with your dolls.
RE: Meller
college feminists, most of whom are probably beyond sexual redemption anyhow!
Oh, you. You got me. Totally beyond redemption. So beyond, in fact, that I plan to unredeem myself THIS VERY NIGHT. Possibly multiple times.
…we are euphemizing, right?
Wait… Meller you are trying to say that the only reason anyone spends time doing anything other than working, eating, sleeping and fucking is they have no one to fuck?
And that no one who is good at sex would have the, “inclination” to share the benefits of their experience?
That’s daft, even by the standards of the Mellerverse. If that were true John Norman never would have been able to write the how-to books of which you are so fond.
That, or they wouldn’t be worth the paper they were printed on.
Hrmn… maybe you do have a point there.
Considering the amount of time you spend trying to play backseat driver to the intimate and emotional lives of the Manboobz commentariat, compounded my the fact that your inability to relate to other people has forced you to use inanimate objects as a substitute for human interaction, I really wouldn’t talk if I were you, Meller.