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antifeminism crackpottery evil women false accusations I am making a joke I'm totally being sarcastic matriarchy men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA oppressed men patriarchy shit that never happened the spearhead

BREAKING EASTER NEWS: New evidence reveals Jesus was killed by feminists.

Over on The Spearhead, a fellow calling himself American offers a fascinating new theory on the death of Jesus: It was the evil ladies who did him in!

Pierce brought up an important event in the life of jesus. He was falselly accused, and the violent masses and the heathen whordes wanted to see blood; so the pilate delivered.
Kinda like the American feminist whorde of barbarianism. Maybe womens justice is simply more primitive and barbarian (more heathen-esque) than patriarchal orderly justice.
whether its the klu-klux-klan “mob lynchings” of 100 years ago over false rape accusations, or the Duke lacrosse feminist mobs roaming the streats of durham looking for blood, there seems to be a common theme here. feminine matriarchal justice is lies , hysteria, mob/klan barbarism; while patriarchal justice is truth based, orderly, ect. ect.
Pontius pilate didn’t want to kill jesus, but the violent matriarchal whorde/klan wanted to see blood and forced his hand.

Happy Easter, if you’re into that sort of thing! Just remember, as you’re enjoying your chocolate eggs and microwaving your Peeps, that woman are all a bunch of lying, bloodthirsty whores.

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Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

Yep we’re also responsible for traffic congestion according to angry harry. Also global warming, wars, if it’s raining out, litter, crying children, dogs pooping where they aren’t supposed to and probably 2012.

I’m going to get my coffee now and spread terror as soon as I step outdoors muahahahaha.

Pretty sure that giant rampaging peep is a woman and a feminist too.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

Also Happy Easter to those who celebrate it!

Arielle Shander
9 years ago

Wow, they’ll take *anything* and blame it on feminism, even though feminism barely fucking existed back then.

“patriarchal justice is truth based, orderly, ect. ect.”

Yeah, it’s “justice” when you assign roles based on gender, encourage son preference, purposely keep women uneducated, etc.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Heh. “Whordes.” I get it. Super clever, bro.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

These dudes know htat Rome was a patriarchy, right? And whatever rabbi they offed that formed the basis for that part of the myth, it would have been for threatening the Pax Romana (IE ‘in the name of order’), right? Because seriously now, when ancient rome is referred to as ‘matriarchal’…

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

In this picture, a silly wimmin is trying to sleep with Jesus, but Jesus is all like, “Lol no bitch, you’ll probably false accuse me of rape.”

Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

Hm. Well, I understand “whorde,” but what does “streats” mean? Is it streets plus teats? Damn this gynocratic road system!

“ect.” presumably standing for “ectetera” I just don’t get. Maybe it’s a reference to the Tet Offensive?

Also, the gospels actually depict Pontius Pilate as being quite out of step with what we know about him as an historical figure: he was pretty damn brutal to the opponent of Roman rule. IIRC, he was actually recalled for being too hard on the Samaritans, and once had a crowd surrounded and butchered on his signal. No way he would have let Barabbus, a known criminal, go in favor of the Jesus depicted in the gospels. In short, the feminist lacrosse mobs, sicarii, ect., must have been out in force to get the insurrectionist Barabbus released.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

were there actually feminist mobs protesting duke lacrosse? or is this just more MRA lies?

Joanna
9 years ago

What the hell is a peep? O.o

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

they’re marshmallow treats in the shape of a chick. Never had them but they look cute.

Yoyo
Yoyo
9 years ago

The funniest thing about this piece of agitprop is that the very early Christian church was far more feminist than in ultimately became. But then according to these tossers civilization is a steady movement to male control which us evil femmes has temporarily derailed.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
9 years ago

So, by American’s “logic,” if there were no women then Jesus would not have died. If he had not died, he could not have risen from the dead three days later. Thus there would be no central mystery of Christianity in which to have faith, and all the folks who believe personal salvation is dependent on faith in that central mystery would be damned to eternal hellfire.

Why does American want all men to suffer in hell for eternity? MISANDRY!

pangea
9 years ago

That’s a new one. I’ve heard that feminists (or is it just women in general?) are responsible for global warming, but the death of Jesus? Okayyy.

caineflower
9 years ago

Goodness. I had no idea I was *that* evil. I must go forth and spread the evil with the rest of the heathen whorde horde.

Alex
9 years ago

Have they blamed women for the Holocaust yet? Because if they haven’t, I’m sure that’s next.

Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

Did you know that the original ending of the gospel of Mark is at 16:8? This means that all the stuff after it is later additions. In 16:8, it says that Jesus came across some women after resurrecting, but that the women told nobody. Since the only way the story in that form could be written down if it was fictionalized, this means that the poor dead Jesus was subjected to an FRA (false resurrection allegation) by these awful women. Of course, since women are liars, the whole thing about having told nobody is itself a lie, one only women would be foolish enough to tell!

Of course, who really knows the real story? Not me! But personally I think Jesus must have been assassinated by a roving Feminist Lacrosse Mob–obviously for his superior Game (the kickass magic tricks).

mythago
9 years ago

Have they blamed women for the Holocaust yet? Because if they haven’t, I’m sure that’s next.

WTF SPOILERS

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

BREAKING NEWS

Live video of the Feminist Cabal has been obtained for the first time:

indifferentsky
9 years ago

“…there seems to be a common theme here…”

I LOLed at that. A common theme of things that actually never happened. It’s the greatest story never told. The subplots alone are fascinating.

Ithiliana
9 years ago

American:

Grade Book:

Spelling……F–
History…….F——
Theology….F-
Biblical Studies….F———-
Zombie Studies…F———————————

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
9 years ago

Not only was Pilate recalled for excessive cruelty – he was recalled for excessive cruelty by Tiberius! That’s a lot like being recalled for incompetence by George W Bush.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Jesus wasn’t “falsely accused…” He actually did claim to be the son of god (in the story anyway), and so forth, and the crowd called that heresy.

And wait, this is new to me. The kkk’s lynchings are the fault of women? Is that what MRAs refer to when they talk about how men will hunt down another man on a woman’s word? I’m actually rather flabberghasted.

Xanthë
9 years ago

The main sources describing Pilate’s time as prefect of Judaea are the Jewish writers Philo of Alexandria and Josephus (the latter writing decades later), neither of whom would be entirely disposed to be sympathetic to Pilate, so I’m inclined to use a liberal amount of salt. That he was eventually deposed by the governor of Syria (Vitellius the elder, father of one of the unsuccessful emperors in the year of four emperors) and sent packing to Rome, where Tiberius had just died and replaced by Caligula, could be evidence of his brutality.

As far as the crucifiction goes, the gospels are fairly clear on the Jewish high priests and elders – all men, by the way – capturing and trying Jesus first, before handing him over to the Romans for execution. The whole business with Pilate offering the crowd a prisoner to go free (which has been stirred up by the priests to call for Barabbas rather than Jesus) seems like a convenient dodge for some of the gospel writers to throw the blame back on the Jewish people – and again, if it happened, this is primarily men’s doing.

Perhaps American has become horribly confused watching “The Life of Brian” too many times, and that a crowd of Jews calling for an execution must naturally be entirely composed of disguised women.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
9 years ago

The excuse for most lynchings or murders in the South were that a black man disrespected a white woman in the opinion of the white men who killed him. The woman sometimes had to be beaten vigorously by a white man to convince her to make the accusation. Emmit Till is supposed to have whistled at or flirted with a white woman. He was 14.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmett_Till

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Wow… that’s an amazing pile of fail.

But hey, if he want’s to say salvation was dependent on women making sure the men performed the needed sacrifice, well no Miryam, no Exodus, no “whordes” no salvation.

Looks like those dudes need women more than they think.

Xanthë
9 years ago

I wonder, with the prominent spelling of “whordes” in that post, whether Tom Martin is now conducting ancient history classes. For men, naturally, and only in classrooms furnished with comfortably padded seats.

gudenuf
9 years ago

You milked three posts out the “I punched a sperm stealer” troll. When are you going to write about Jezebel’s pro-violence article?

https://imgur.com/a/6GkdM#13

Steph
9 years ago

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPS!

darksidecat
9 years ago

Wait, there are people in the world who do not have PEEPS? The deprivation makes me weep. Peeps are the greatest of foods.

Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

@Xanthë

Now I can’t get “Golden Whorde” out of my head. Clearly Tom Martin would have an enlightening thing or two to say about the Golden Whoriarchy and how Mongolian whores demanded their chauffeurs conquer Asia in order to secure vital bon-bon supplies, all the while sitting on their butts and being carried by armies of men in palanquin-yurts.

Maya Lovelace
Maya Lovelace
9 years ago

Wasn’t Jesus a bit of a feminist himself, and generally a radical? These reactionary hypocrites fail so hard.

Maya Lovelace
Maya Lovelace
9 years ago

Besides, paganism is awesome. A lot of the intuitive wisdom of pagan beliefs were suppressed over time. But thankfully we are rediscovering them.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

>>>You milked three posts out the “I punched a sperm stealer” troll. When are you going to write about Jezebel’s pro-violence article?

Look, it’s the False Equivalency Faery! Today the False Equivalency Faery will show us that people defending the use of disproportionate domestic violence against someone who isn’t threatening them because that person is allegedly doing something non-threatening that never happen IRL (i.e. sperm stealing) is exactly the same as someone defending themselves against threatening bigots that are harrassing you on the streets, which happens depressingly often.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
9 years ago

The Jezebel story was from January. You’re a little slow slurping from the delicious chum bucket of outrage on that one.

Ithiliana
9 years ago

@BlackBloc: I woulda been ninja’d had I not read your post first, so:

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

Maybe next gudenuf will tell us about the pack of roving wild lesbians attacking poor defenseless hetero men, like he saw on Bill O’Reilly’s show!

kladle
kladle
9 years ago

After reading Ithiliana’s link i just want to tell these guys to SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. I wish they would quit appropriating deadly serious shit to complain about not getting laid. How callous can you be? Seriously? To claim that the horrors of lynching came about because “blah blah blah feminism” is not just gross ignorance but active destruction of history and human empathy. I don’t even know at this point.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
9 years ago

I had one batshit insane MRA try to tell me that the Salem Witch Trials were because of feminism. Uh….wut?

Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

Lady Zombie, please tell me you have a link. I will die if I do not see this.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

As one of the batshit insane, Lady Zombie 🙂 I’d love it if you could use a different term?

magdelynswallows
9 years ago

“Wasn’t Jesus a bit of a feminist himself…?”

No. If Jesus was around today, women would say he was practicing benevolent sexism.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
9 years ago

Apologies, Viscaria! You’re right. That was abelist.

How about “Poo flinging ape?”

Tulgey, I’ll work on that. It was way over a year ago.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

No worries, LZ! 😀

katz
9 years ago

Lady Zombie, feminists were jealous of the nice, soft little lady lovelies getting all the men, so they made up charges of witchcraft and got them killed.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

No. If Jesus was around today, women would say he was practicing benevolent sexism.

No, I’d say he was practicing ordinary sexism of the times, based on what was written about him. Granted, we both kind of agree he wasn’t much of a feminist, even adjusting for his era.

I had one batshit insane MRA try to tell me that the Salem Witch Trials were because of feminism. Uh….wut?

That one’s got a traceable line of logic; remember, these idiots blame victims, and a lot of targets were non-conforming in some way.

gudenuf
9 years ago

“Today the False Equivalency Faery will show us that people defending the use of disproportionate domestic violence against someone who isn’t threatening them because that person is allegedly doing something non-threatening that never happen IRL (i.e. sperm stealing) is exactly the same as someone defending themselves against threatening bigots that are harrassing you on the streets, which happens depressingly often.”

Oh look, now Man Boobz commenters are defending violence. Maybe Jezebel should run a snide editorial about how horrible Futrelle’s fan are.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

Oh look, now Man Boobz commenters are defending violence. Maybe Jezebel should run a snide editorial about how horrible Futrelle’s fan are.

I could probably write small essay on how even though I don’t condone violence, the two cases aren’t really comparable and you attempting to bludgeon us over the head with it won’t work, but you’re not worth it.

gudenuf
9 years ago

Rutee Katreya : “I could probably write small essay on how even though I don’t condone violence, the two cases aren’t really comparable and you attempting to bludgeon us over the head with it won’t work, but you’re not worth it.”

And I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn.

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Oh look, now Man Boobz commenters are defending violence. Maybe Jezebel should run a snide editorial about how horrible Futrelle’s fan are.

Why? Really, why?

1: What happens on Jezebel is almost never misogynistic. As such it’s not really in the purview of this blog (right there on the tin, “Misogyny, I mock it”).

2: We talked about it when it was brought up. I made a long post showing the ways in which what she did was probably a criminal offense in Calif., though I don’t know the Mass. statutes well enough to make so specific an opinion in that specific case.

3: Where is it written that we have to decry all violence? I certainly don’t. I spent an entire career being paid to be violent. I have some opinions on when it’s justified, but I’m not going to say it’s never appropriate.

4: As a moral (not legal) question I don’t see that she did anything wrong. She was being harassed. She was being assaulted. If she could turn and hit someone, then that person was in a position to harm her. A reasonable person, in such circumstance could feel threatened enough to use force in defense. I wasn’t there, I can’t make any serious claim to know what was happening. Given the description of events, I don’t see that excessive force was used in her response.

5: The people who responded weren’t supportive of the specific actions. They spent their time talking about how safe they felt, or didn’t, in various areas.

6: The reddit post described a significant trauma (abdominal bruising) in response to a nonexistent threat (sperm can survive outside a body for about twenty minutes, and at ten the level of degradation is such that any homemade attempt at AI is pretty much doomed to fail. I’ve done horses, and the procedures are a bit finicky; the catch rate is pretty good, but failure is fairly common; common enough that one is guaranteed at least a second dose of semen if the first fails. That’s with horses being obviously receptive to impregnation, which isn’t true of women).

All of which adds up to Dave doesn’t have to dance to the tune you want called, esp. when the music you are playing isn’t any better than an out of tune player piano at Farrell’s banging out barbershop.