Just a little heads up for any of you in the Chicago area: I’ll be speaking at Northwestern University on Monday, as part of its annual “Sex Week.”
My topic? “How to hate women and have terrible sex: Misogynistic sex myths, and how they ruin sex for everyone.” Nice Guys, Friend Zones, and the Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel will all make appearances.
The talk will be at 8 PM in Room G02 of Annenberg Hall on the Northwestern Campus in Evanston.
(Here’s a map.)
There will be free condoms and lube. (Apparently.)
For more about sex week, see the official website, or take a look at this piece in the Daily Northwestern.
Sex week is sponsored by the College Feminists; I’m talking at the invitation of Men Against Rape and Sexual Assault.
I’ll be writing the lecture over the weekend, so please feel free to offer suggestions as to which misogynistic sex myths I should talk about.
EDITED TO ADD: The Spearhead has discovered that I’m doing this talk. W. F. Price writes about it with his usual objectivity, by which I mean that his piece is filled with lies and weird projection.
Misogynistic sex myths? There are so many! Just how long is this lecture going to be?
The two biggest ones off the top of my head are:
1. Women don’t really like sex at all; they just put up with it as a means of getting emotional intimacy, material goods, etc.
2. Women innately want men to dominate them during sex.
Second!!!
Women saying no are just teasing you, or are just saying no because they’re nervous, or will stop saying no if you just keep going…
Basically anything that takes away the meaning of saying “no.” I’m sure that accounts for a significant portion of date rape. If the stereotype that women who say no just need to be convinced somehow goes away, I’d be a happy man. -_-
Actually, and this might be a little tangential, but the idea that sex is innately filthy or dirty or sinful. First off, you don’t bother to learn how to have sex safely if you think the whole thing is bad. Then, when you do have sex (even if that event is supposedly “appropriate”) you’re still wracked with guilt that sex is a bad thing. Either that, or you adopt a “fuck it” approach and start doing everything you think is bad because you’re now corrupted because of having sex. Dunno exactly how common that is though…
The idea that virgin women are the best at sex ever? And that a woman is less valuable as a partner if she’s had sex before? I’m talking really annoying shit like the lock/key metaphor or the male-centric “you wouldn’t want to put your dick in something that has had 10 other dicks in it before.”
Awesome sauce! I wish I were in Chicago so I could be there. Myths: Hypergamy. The whole idea that your girl is only with you because she couldn’t get anyone hotter and she would totes leave in a second if she could.
This may be outside the topic’s range, but lately I’ve zoned in on the myth that women have a monopoly on “sexual power” (and sexual power is ultimate power because biological imperative, etc.) as being particularly harmful, possibly because its implications do extend well beyond sex.
@Dave
Here’s the third paragraph.
“Amanda Mather, the week’s co-director, said the selection of events does not have any sort of religious or political bias, because it is sponsored by other campus organizations as well, including the LGBT Resource Center, Sexual Health and Assault Peer Educators (SHAPE), Slam Society, Her Campus, the Women’s Center and Men Against Rape and Sexual Assault.”
Since it’s promoted by every State sponsored hate group with a definite political bias how is it Amanda can actually write the opposite? Feminists don’t have a political bias? The LGBT Resource Center doesn’t have a political bias? Every single sponsor listed is politically biased. My tax dollars, well, more acurately, my future tax dollars hard at work. A future debt I pay at interest to legally treat men like shit and glorify women.
Wouldn’t unbiased and equal mean an equal number of MRA representatives? Ya know, real world men. Not the ideal feminist version of dress wearing, weeping, dolly carrying, effeminate princessboys who’ll glady screw each other for womens appoval and acceptance.
Do let us know how your little unbiased seminar went.
@Puella Sapiens:
That sorta ties in with the really terrible rationalizations of how women don’t need rights and such because they can just get their husbands to do it for them. There was that really terrible example of this a while back where someone said that women don’t need police to protect them, they should just get their fathers/brothers/husbands to do it.
I go to Northwestern, so naturally my squees can be heard for miles. 😀
The myth that the more partners you have, the less likely you are to have a successful long-term relationship. This only seems to apply to women.
THe myth that the only real sex is PIV and between a man on top and a woman on bottom!
Men who “score” are studs. Women who “give it up” are sluts. Anyone who is raped/molested/assaulted is damaged goods, doubly so if female.
Will there be any possibility of getting a recording and/or transcript of this talk up here for those of us who are not in the Chicago area?
As for sex myths? Whatever it is that would make a guy interpret my admission of asexuality as a come-on. Whatever this ‘sexy’ concept is, locking the door and grabbing my breasts was really not it. (I’m FAAB, but neutrois. Boob-grabbing=dysphoria.) Maybe mention that people who look like women are not always women? Unsolicited boob-grabbing (or, hell, any grabbing) is unlikely to be appreciated (and is less likely to be thought of as a sign of dominance than as a sign of being an ass)? Locking the door when somebody has specifically said something about not wanting sex is unlikely to be interpreted as benign?
(Hi, I mostly lurk.)
Congrats man!
You may also want to work in that romantic/sexual success does not differ much along gender lines, nor does sexual/romantic attraction.
@kirbywarp. It does. We’ve gone from the anti-suffragist argument “But women will just vote the way their husbands do, why count the votes twice?” to “But in order to get sexual access men will just vote the way their women tell them to, why count the votes twice?” I see variants of the theme so far outside of the manosphere that I can’t help but be a little consternated. Stances critical of everything from the “Girls Around Me” iPhone app to Western men patronizing under-payed, under-aged prostitutes in South-East Asia are strawmanned as women feigning concern to try and preserve or obfuscate their power via control of sexual access. All despite a little study of history being enough to prove that that control has been neither consistently enjoyed by women, nor particularly useful as leveraging tool – at least not as compared to economic, socio-political, and physical power – and a little common sense being enough to tell you that men have largely similar sexual influence with heterosexual women.
Like asoldlace, I’m also curious as to whether or whether not the contents of the talk will ever be made available in some format. Either way, it’s nice to hear that you’ll be giving it, so as others have said, congratulations.
Related to this:
“2. Women innately want men to dominate them during sex.”
That a woman who DOES enjoy domination isn’t allowed to have any boundaries at all.
Stupid MRM theories of sex:
Sex with a partner is an economic transaction. The woman’s resource is sex. She has all of it, and men have to trade, barter, or steal it from her.
Evopsych: Men are naturally disposed to rape and cheat because they need to spread their seed.
Everyone is straight, cis, and monogamous.
Negging, and other game theories, work.
The “yes means yes” standard is too difficult to put into practice. Can you imagine having to get consent every time you want to have sex? It’s nearly impossible!
False rape accusations are numerous.
Women and men are natural enemies — pretty much completely different species, who want completely different things and have completely different motives for everything. At opposition at all times.
David: I will send you a big bag of Cadbury mini eggs if you tell the students about B-n’s plan to stop false rape accusations. I think the kids will enjoy hearing about such fine logic skills.
The “yes means yes” standard is too difficult to put into practice. Can you imagine having to get consent every time you want to have sex? It’s nearly impossible!
This. The whole idea that it’s hard to know whether someone wants sex or not…and therefore rape should be legal. And the accompanying set of “What if we both had one drink?” nonsense.
Mention that if you need a clear LOUD no for sex despite knowing that most people can convey “no” without even saying it, you are being obtuse on purpose and worse case scenario, you are a rapist.
Yadda yadda yadda – pro-feminist douches – most of which haven’t seen a vagina since birth – blah blah blah. Make sure you throw in some of the following words and phrases David to establish yourself in the club:
petagogy
male gaze
eye rape
birth rape
hetero-nomativitry
cis-sexism
gender performativity
ableism
fatism
[and needless to say]
patriarchy
male privilege
white privilege
Opps, forgot “rape culture.”
@hellkell
“The myth that the more partners you have, the less likely you are to have a successful long-term relationship. This only seems to apply to women.”
Don’t you mean “fact” instead of myth?
http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/2002-male-and-female-statistical-data.html
As you can see by the chart, nasty numbers, women are far less likely to be loyal. That’d be an inherent difference between men and women. You’re confusing feminist dogma with reality. They are opposites.
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@kirbywarp
“I’m talking really annoying shit like the lock/key metaphor or the male-centric “you wouldn’t want to put your dick in something that has had 10 other dicks in it before.”
As you can see, Kirbywarp is a twofisted guzzler of feminist koolaid. I little hint of reality, Kirby. If a woman has had 10 other dicks in her already, she’s proven herself to be a disloyal slut.
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@Puella Sapiens
“This may be outside the topic’s range, but lately I’ve zoned in on the myth that women have a monopoly on “sexual power” (and sexual power is ultimate power because biological imperative, etc.) as being particularly harmful, possibly because its implications do extend well beyond sex.”
It is a fact, not a myth, that women have a monopoly on “sexual power.” Women act like animals in heat 24/7, using sexuality to manipulate men. Just as they use tears, and their physical weakness to emotionally manipulate men. Men on the other hand have physical and intellectual power, (logic) they could wield over women.
In a healthy society men and women don’t use their inherent power against each other. In modern day society, women are encouraged and enthusiastically use sexuality, and emotional outbursts to manipulate the situation and men. The one who portrays themself as the victim has all the power. Men, however, are forbidden to use their power over women, to the point that even using logic on a woman is considered DV.
——————
To show you the power of victimhood, lets take a look at what constitutes DV when the officer of the feminist court arrives at the scene of a domestic disturbance. All police are trained by feminist dogma in determining the primary aggressor.
The “victim” is determined by who acts more emotionally distraught, hysterically talks non stop and can turn on the waterworks. Now which gender has those little manipulative maneuvers down pat? Women shed tears on command when they can derive the strength of the State from their weakness. See how more powerful being a helpless victim is when it suits your needs. Yet you’ll continually deny that women do this to manipulate any given situation.
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By the way, Dave. I’m a little tired of being the moderated man. I’ll never be a good little feminist minion. I won’t extoll the gazillion virtues of feminine spirtuality. I won’t be worshipping the goddess spirit within all women. I have no inclanation of ever being queer friendly. I won’t do any of those thing as a prerequisite to become unmoderated.
Since I’ve been called every name in the book by the empathetic ones, (a trait men lack along with understanding and compassion). “I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it.” Barbara Jordan; Former Congresswoman.
She didn’t have to apologize, no resignation, only high praise. And being a woman who possesses the attributes of empathy, understanding and compassion her words must be truth. No women stood up saying men did possess those atributes so women must be in complete agreement.
So I surely can’t be moderated for name calling. My knees are a bit worn out from a lifetime of white man privilege labor, so I really can’t genuflect before women all that often. What would be the proper amount of genuflecting needed to achieve acceptance by women?
That virginity is a thing you can lose and a valuable concept.
The idea that sex is a thing that women have and men want, rather than an activity humans engage in with each other.
That consent us really complicated and it’s really hard to tell that someone wants to have sex with you.
Oh, and break a leg! I’m sure you’ll knock ’em dead.