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Men’s Rights Redditors Indignant That World Notices They Are Assholes

Run, condom, run! Don't let her catch you!

Oh, boy. So that almost certainly imaginary  “dude punching his spermjacking girlfriend” story in the Men’s Rights subreddit the other day? The one that inspired all those Men’s Rights Redditors to totally defend the (alleged) puncher?

Well, now Jezebel has weighed in on the subject as well. Erin Gloria Ryan raises a few questions about ineedhelpnow1234’s implausible tale, and about the dudes who not only believed it but got all enraged at the imaginary punched girlfriend:

Where does this legend of the sperm swiping madwoman come from? And why won’t it die? Why are men’s rights activists so willing to believe that in a world practically dripping with sperm, women specifically want theirs so they can be pregnant and possibly farty for 9 months, stretch their skin out, and go through childbirth in order to control the men in their lives?

Apparently, at least one Men’s Rights Redditor is a reader of Jezebel, because he went and posted a link, explaining that

I normally try to stay neutral as best I can in matters relating to the men’s rights/feminism debate, but this has me grinding my teeth.

So this is what feminists think about one of our most pressing issues.

Presumably he is referring to the extremely pressing issue of girlfriends who flee the bedroom after sex, clutching used condoms and shouting that “I’m finally going to get the baby I deserve,” and how they totally deserve to be punched in the stomach so hard it leaves a bruise.

The discussion inspired this exchange:

Oh, and this one, too:

YadaYadaYada2 certainly has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t he?

Men’s Rights Activists, so emotional!

EDITED TO ADD: I sort of started arguing with the regulars in the comments there, and Glarfugus set me straight on the nature of my sins against the Men’s Rights subreddit:

You quoted accurately, the problem lies where you quote perfectly sound posts and talk about them like they’re ridiculous. You address punching a woman in the stomach as though it’s something of high crime. I’m not saying it’s something that’s right, but punching someone in the stomach in a panicked situation where you have a risk of being fucked by the court system for the next 18 years? Reasonable action.

I put my favorite part in bold. The stuff about punching women is pretty special too.

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Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

Fuck that, to be ‘making’ the money you’d have to not spend any on the kid.

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

“.. i think we all know antz is lying about his professional background, considering his ever shifting story about every other aspect of his life and personality ..”

Do you believe this with the same level of certainty that you believe in your feminist religion?

What do you believe is not true (list of 10)?

1) .. is Hispanic and speaks fluent spanish
2) .. speaks fluent portuguese
3) .. has a FOREIGN BRIDE!
4) .. has two male children
5) .. was falsely accused of DV
6) .. is a drug design scientist (21 publications)
7) .. is building a sound-based tissue nano-deposition instrument (guess why?)
8) .. is working on cause/cure for autism (hoping to present at 3rd annual Male Studies)
9) .. mom is a professional tenured academic feminist (on international tour a.t.m.)
10) .. offered as 13 year old boy-toy for feminist amusement

Be careful, Sharculese, because you never know 🙂

princessbonbon
9 years ago

All of them are not true Antz.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

Antz, we only have your word on it. Shit you don’t even have to be hispanic to speak spanish. You’re just an irrelevant liar.

If MRAs are really pissed about child support, they might be happy to know that I hate the current system. Of course, I’d replace it with a national tax with funds paid out to parents, but hey, at least they would know it isn’t unfair.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Which do you believe is not true (list of 10)?

1. .. Owns a superdog
2. .. Has brown eyes
3. .. Has blue eyes (not on own face)
4. .. Has several FOREIGN BRIDES, hoping none of them finds out
5. .. Was raised til the age of 19 in an MRA cult, am now on revenge mission against all MRAs
6. .. Am actually a very sophisticated tuna
7. .. Can read Spanish writing in the original Russian
8. .. Have copyrighted oxygen (have also copyrighted nitrogen)
9 .. Believe that a drug design scientist would be working on a “sound-based tissue nano-deposition instrument,” and simultaneously a cure for autism because being a scientist means you can science up anything you want
10. Once peed in the back of a bus

I AM THE MASTER OF DECEPTION I CAN MAKE SHIT UP ON THE INTERNET

While completely dodging the question of, “Would you pay $168,000 for the privilege of shitting a cantaloupe, and if so, would you consider it a brilliant money-making scheme?”

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

@princessbonbon
@Rutee Katreya

And you believe this with the same level of certainty that you believe in your feminist religion?

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
9 years ago

Wait, what’s the 3rd Annual Male Studies? I didn’t hear about the first two.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
9 years ago

Dude, FEMINISM DOES NOT INVOLVE GODS. We don’t put a vagina on a pussy and make sacrifices to it, we don’t pray to a goddess, we don’t pay 10% of our income to the Church of Jezebel. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, YO!

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
9 years ago

Oh wow… “vagina on a PEDESTAL”. 😛 Best Freudian slip ever?

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

Why only one dot on item 10 “.”? That one is for real?

It’s OK, I once did a dooky in the front of the bus .. and again somwhere in Aachen while riding a bicycle accross Europe.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

And you believe this with the same level of certainty that you believe in your feminist religion?

No, feminist theory has substantial evidence behind it; I have certainty in its accuracy, based on that evidence. It has predictive power, especially when you get into more advanced social theories like kyriarchy. This I actually do have certainty on.

I just don’t have any evidence that your claims are true, and therefore have no reason to believe them. That’s a much higher level of skepticism than I normally put forth for people’s stories, but yours has shifted so constantly as to be incredible (literally; not credible).

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

Zarat, you’ve said outright that you are dishonest when talking/posting/arguing with feminists.

You’re an admitted liar. You’re also an idiot with no reading comprehension and gullible, weak-minded dipshit to boot.

But we know you’re a liar. You told us so yourself.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

AntZ, would you accept $200/month to shit a cantaloupe and care for all its (many) cantaloupey needs, and if so, would you consider it a brilliant money-making scheme?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

AntZ:

If you can do the following, then I will personally grant you my belief in every single one of your claims.

Name the 21 publications that you authored, (title, year, where it was published), and provide whatever links exist to them.

Fatman
Fatman
9 years ago

“Put a vagina on a pussy,” there has to be a “yo, dog” in there somewhere.

princessbonbon
9 years ago

And you believe this with the same level of certainty that you believe in your feminist religion?

I rarely talk about my personal convictions when it comes to God and religion but I am a theist who believes in the Christian faith. It is not, shall we say, feminist.

I do have to say, I believe you are a liar more than I believe that St. Paul actually did say such silly things.

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

@Rutee

“kyriarchy”? I thought that was just patriarchy on steroids. It reminds me of a bad horror flick sequel, when the bogey man from “episode 1” is no longer scarry enough, so he teams up with a buddy for episode two (then they return together for the final showdown in 3-D!)

I suppose I should not be surprised. Hollywood primes the pump of popular gullibility to turn a $10 admission into $30. Why would feminists not do the same to turn $10 billion in tax payer extorsion into $30 billion?

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

AntZ, you’re not answering my question.

Would you shit a cantaloupe, feed it in the middle of the night for six months, change its diapers for four years, ensure it was constantly supervised for twelve years, and eventually send it to college–fot $200/month?

Would you consider that an excellent deal?

princessbonbon
9 years ago

I never knew that Jason v Freddy only had TWO movies before they became best friends in their killing sprees.

See Antz, this is why you are considered an idiot along with a liar.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Trapping someone into parenthood against their will or even their knowledge is a really shitty thing to do and if there isn’t a law against it there should be.

I agree that it’s shitty for someone to trick someone else into parenthood they don’t want. However, I don’t think it’s possible to legislate against it. The MRA’s treat all accidental pregnancies as women tricking men, and ignore that many of those pregnancies were accidental for both parents. Birth control methods can fail, and there is a high rate of user error for many of them, especially condoms and the pill. It would be tough to prove in court that a pregnancy was intentional on the part of one parent against the wishes of the other parent.

As others have said, no the average single parent will not get a quarter of a million dollars in child support. That might happen if you have a celebrity’s baby, but not if you have a baby with an average college student like ineedhelp1234 (I am treating his story like it’s true just for the sake of argument, but think it’s about as plausible as the tales of Pecos Bill.)

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

“kyriarchy”? I thought that was just patriarchy on steroids.

Yes, I’m aware you’re an ignoramus who doesn’t try to learn anything about his enemies. Go look it up, wikipedia has a decent summary. It’s not scarier, it’s just a more complete explanation that accounts for more of the evidence; that is to say, it’s a stronger theory.

Why would feminists not do the same to turn $10 billion in tax payer extorsion into $30 billion?

You’re going to have to do a lot better than that.

Anathema
Anathema
9 years ago

Also, Antz, you claim to have published 21 papers dealing with drug design. From that, I would be led to conclude that if you are a scientist, you are working in the field of pharmacology.

But then you claim that you are studying the causes of autism. Now, someone dealing with the causes of autism could be working in any number of fields. Like genetics or neurology or embryology. But you know what doesn’t seem like a plausible field for someone looking into the causes of autism?

Pharmacology.

You also claim to be building a “sound-based nano-depostion instrument”. I don’t really know what you mean by this (and I rather suspect you don’t either). However, that sounds like something that someone with a background in engineering or mechanics or inventing would do. Not something that a pharmacologist would do.

So while I suppose its possible that you are a genius polymath who work in pharmacology yet still has time to make earth-shaking discoveries in the realm of neurology and who also happens to be an inventor on the side . . . that seems pretty unlikely to me.

QuantumSparkle
QuantumSparkle
9 years ago

Antz would consider it an excellent deal, but only because he would cheat by making his ESPOSA EXTRANJERA do all of that lady-work for him. He’d keep the money, of course.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

I just realized how bad Zarat is at trolling. Getting sunk in UWO had me fuming for 10 minutes due to the timing. He can’t even match dying in an MMO, which is a pretty low bar (Granted, a bit higher here due to but still).

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

@kirbywarp

Acta Cryst. D
J. Biol. Chem
Nucleic Acids Res
Biochemistry
Mol. Cell
J. Appl. Cryst
J. Biol. Chem
Physical Biosciences
Acta Cryst. F
Synch. Rad. News
J. Mol. Biol
J. Biol. Chem
Acta Cryst. F
J. Biol. Chem
BMC Struct. Biol
J. Inorg. Biochem
Acta Cryst. D
J. Appl. Cryst.
Acta Cryst. D
Bioinformatics
J Mol Biol

No dates, sorry. Can’t take the risk.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Oh AntZ, you’re answering every question but a really easy, simple one. I’ll even leave out the goofy metaphor this time:

Would you carry, birth, and raise a child for $200 a month? How about $300/month?

Would you consider this an excellent money-making scheme?

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

“due to <nerd stuff>

Your fake list has multiple repeats, also.

LBT
LBT
9 years ago

RE: Anthony

Oh, please don’t tell me you’re part of Autism Speaks. I mean, it’d kinda elevate (sink?) your troll status, but I really, REALLY don’t want to believe they have more followers…

*waves little neurodiversity flag*

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

… I take it that AntZ won’t take me up on my challenge… *sadface*

Ah well.

I wonder how MRAs would react if you told them that, in the event they would get saddled with child support, the average they’d be expected to pay is 54K over the course of eighteen years. And that the woman in question would run nearly three times that amount in the red to raise the child.

Hold on, I’m getting a vision. … Yup. They’re gaffawing over how stupid women are and how bad they are at maths.

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

“.. I suppose its possible that you are a genius polymath ..”

That must explain how I was able to ..

@Holly Pervocracy

I answered your question .. before you asked it.

Item 7.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Oh, nevermind, Zarat answered! Let’s see…

… Oh. You’ve just listed a bunch of journals. No titles? No links? No dates? That kinda defeats the whole purpose of the exercise, Zarat. Did you want to convince us you were telling the truth or not? It’s ok if you didn’t, just don’t be mad if we end up not believing you. 🙂

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

“is building a sound-based tissue nano-deposition instrument (guess why?)” is an answer to “would you birth and raise a child for $200/month”?

…what?

Am I in the fucking Mirror Dimension?

LBT
LBT
9 years ago

RE: Anthony

So… you’re trying to steal men’s sperm so you can extort men’s sperm with your device thingy?

HOLY SHIT GUYS HE’S A STEALTH SPERMJACKER! It all becomes clear now!

Sharculese
Sharculese
9 years ago

Do you believe this with the same level of certainty that you believe in your feminist religion?

i don’t understand this sentence because i don’t speak incoherent paranoid dumbass, but yes, based on your ever shifting stories and the wild claims you repeatedly make, i do believe you’re either a serial liar or completely delusional. probably both.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

Meh, I don’t care about Antsy’s real life. He already demonstrates to us how incapable he is of critical self-reflection, of investigating the ideas of others, of critical thinking, of fact checking, and even of admitting that he is wrong about simple things. Whatever academic credentials he has earned have not helped the rest of his brain save him from being a fool.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

But if you mean that you have children, AntZ, that doesn’t answer the question at all.

The question is, would you have had those children and raised them entirely yourself for $200/month, and would you consider it primarily a money-making scheme?

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

Am I the only that doesn’t understand how this:

7) .. is building a sound-based tissue nano-deposition instrument (guess why?)

answers this:

Would you carry, birth, and raise a child for $200 a month? How about $300/month?

Would you consider this an excellent money-making scheme?

Sharculese
Sharculese
9 years ago

No dates, sorry. Can’t take the risk.

that sounds remarkably like something a liar would say

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

I see i’m not

Bee
Bee
9 years ago

I’m with you, Shadow.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Sadly, Zarat, wanting to prove that you have personally published something or another means having to show what you’ve published, which means exposing your identity. There literally is no other way to do this, unless maybe you can detail a couple of your research/study topics to prove you are knowledgable in the area.

Oh right, and then you can describe how on Earth any woman would purposefully get pregnant by stealing sperm for the privilage of paying over $150k over the course of 18 years.

Sharculese
Sharculese
9 years ago

@kirby

he can’t do that though because he’s a sad little insignificant bigot who can only reinforce his bigotry through a constant stream of obvious lies. right, antz?

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

You know what’s really blowing my mind here?

I pay money not to get pregnant. It’s not even cheap.

Is this financially irrational of me?

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

“is building a sound-based tissue nano-deposition instrument (guess why?)” is an answer to “would you birth and raise a child for $200/month”?

Does this have something to do with artificial wombs, AntZ? I’m really trying to figure out where you’re going with everything, but it’s not clear at all.

Sharculese
Sharculese
9 years ago

antz for a super genius with all those irons in the fire you seem to waste a lot of time baiting people you don’t like on the internet and ranting about virtual reality. it’s almost as if you’re lying about all that shit.

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Here’s the thing AntZ… you’ve said you are a liar, and a troll. So, it’s, to coin a phrase, “tits or get out” for you. If you want us to believe you are the person who actually did/is doing those things, you have to prove it.

Which is simple logic. You are making the claim, you have to support it.

I’ll be generous here too… I’ll say you get 400 bucks for shitting a cantaloupe, and then raising a kid single handed.

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

Cry babies.

Danny’s head was the size of a navel orange at birth (4 inches). My FOREIGN BRIDE pushed three times and popped him out. I do believe that she is baked from tougher dough than any of you.

@Kendra

Bingo!

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

And that has what, exactly, to do with the financial gains to be had for shitting out a canteloupe? Keep up, ya lackwit.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Danny’s head was the size of a navel orange at birth (4 inches). My FOREIGN BRIDE pushed three times and popped him out. I do believe that she is baked from tougher dough than any of you.

So, would you do that for $200/month?

Would you do everything that came after those three pushes, all the diaper-changing and midnight feeding and potty-training and homework-helping, for $200/month?

And if so, would you consider it a really excellent money-making scheme?

YOU ARE NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION MR. ZARAT.
Although I admit it baffles me how you’re avoiding thinking about the question.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Okay, the FOREIGN BRIDE thing is somewhat amusing on the Internet but, serious moment, I really hope you don’t exoticize your wife like that to her face or with other people who know her.