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Men’s Rights Redditors Indignant That World Notices They Are Assholes

Run, condom, run! Don't let her catch you!

Oh, boy. So that almost certainly imaginary  “dude punching his spermjacking girlfriend” story in the Men’s Rights subreddit the other day? The one that inspired all those Men’s Rights Redditors to totally defend the (alleged) puncher?

Well, now Jezebel has weighed in on the subject as well. Erin Gloria Ryan raises a few questions about ineedhelpnow1234’s implausible tale, and about the dudes who not only believed it but got all enraged at the imaginary punched girlfriend:

Where does this legend of the sperm swiping madwoman come from? And why won’t it die? Why are men’s rights activists so willing to believe that in a world practically dripping with sperm, women specifically want theirs so they can be pregnant and possibly farty for 9 months, stretch their skin out, and go through childbirth in order to control the men in their lives?

Apparently, at least one Men’s Rights Redditor is a reader of Jezebel, because he went and posted a link, explaining that

I normally try to stay neutral as best I can in matters relating to the men’s rights/feminism debate, but this has me grinding my teeth.

So this is what feminists think about one of our most pressing issues.

Presumably he is referring to the extremely pressing issue of girlfriends who flee the bedroom after sex, clutching used condoms and shouting that “I’m finally going to get the baby I deserve,” and how they totally deserve to be punched in the stomach so hard it leaves a bruise.

The discussion inspired this exchange:

Oh, and this one, too:

YadaYadaYada2 certainly has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t he?

Men’s Rights Activists, so emotional!

EDITED TO ADD: I sort of started arguing with the regulars in the comments there, and Glarfugus set me straight on the nature of my sins against the Men’s Rights subreddit:

You quoted accurately, the problem lies where you quote perfectly sound posts and talk about them like they’re ridiculous. You address punching a woman in the stomach as though it’s something of high crime. I’m not saying it’s something that’s right, but punching someone in the stomach in a panicked situation where you have a risk of being fucked by the court system for the next 18 years? Reasonable action.

I put my favorite part in bold. The stuff about punching women is pretty special too.

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John
John
8 years ago

Allow me to quote r/Mensrights moderation policy:

“Child Porn: This is again a challenging topic.” What is challenging about banning it on sight and threatening a ban for anyone referencing it in any other capacity than “CP is fucking disgusting”?

Link:
http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRightsMeta/comments/qqfu8/new_mod_policy_for_mens_rights_march_10_2012/

Of course they’re going to be pissed that someone noticed them, because that means one of their own will go to prison, probably for beating his wife or molesting his kids. How is every hate movement tied up in child porn? That shit is seriously the unholy glue that binds every hate movement together.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

TerriChris says:

While IMO MRAs are respectful.

Oh I see. I definitely find all of our FUCK BITCH trolls irrelevant bigots over here to be very 97% of women are whores respectful.

Not to mention the respectful way seeral of them supported someone for punching someone else in the stomach.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Seeral = several, or perhaps a character from The Dark Crystal.

Rachel Maud
8 years ago

As someone who had been studying history for the past four years, their delusion that men have been traditionally oppressed is really funny to me. Also their assertion that MRA commenters are unfailingly reasonable.

Rachel Maud
8 years ago

As someone who *has* been studying history

Bostonian
8 years ago

Oh men’s rights reddidiots, never change.

Also, that gif is hilarious.

Timid Atheist (@TimidAtheist)

Here’s what I don’t understand: Why are they assuming that a woman is getting pregnant -just- so that she can then sue for child support? And do they really think that child support alone is going to ensure they’re going to live on the high hog forever? Most child support payments a month are less than most welfare checks. Are they really that dense?

I don’t agree at all with a woman purposefully getting pregnant in order to trap a man into a relationship or into being a parent for long term. (Though it kills me that these men are more worried about having to pay child support for 18 years than about the child itself. Way to be awesome father figures!) I also don’t agree with men trying to get women purposefully pregnant so that they can keep them around with no recourse.

I also don’t agree that hitting anyone, regardless of gender, for doing this will solve anything. Violence is never the first answer and I’d prefer it never be the answer, though I know that’s unrealistic in situations where one is being attacked or one is fighting a war.

The worst part of this whole debacle is the idea that these men think that everything will be all right if they simply get their way. I wonder if they realize that what they want to happen will likely make society worse, not only for them, but most especially for women and anyone who doesn’t fit into their male ideal.

Also, I’m ashamed to admit, I probably stoked the fires on this one by putting a link to Jezebel’s article on the first threat. It was meant to be sarcasm, my comment. I suppose I should have used David’s flashing sarcasm sign. >.< Lesson learned.

Anthony Zarat
8 years ago

You need rest, Futrelle. You are making less sense every day. I can’t make fun of you unless you are at least partly coherent.

Bostonian
8 years ago

Dude, you were the one who did not even know about Yahoo Answers for crying out loud. Also, how is the FOREIGN BRIDE? Has she taken the kids and headed for the hills yet?

Lu
Lu
8 years ago

Wahahahaha… this is surreal. Those guys know that single motherhood is the single most widespread reason for poverty in the Western world, right?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Anthony

You’re one to talk about coherence.

cloudiah
8 years ago

You need rest, Futrelle. You are making less sense every day. I can’t make fun of you unless you are at least partly coherent.

Antz, I can help. I am fluent in Futrelle. What didn’t you understand?

Also, you ignored it when I pointed out that there is a very promising, reversible form of male contraception being tested in India and the United States. Have you signed the petition and signed up on the mailing list yet?

seranvali
8 years ago

I’m finding this argument more and more irritating.

Trapping someone into parenthood against their will or even their knowledge is a really shitty thing to do and if there isn’t a law against it there should be. This should be true of either gender.

However, the only time it’ s OK to use violence is in self defense, under a situation where the defender has already been hit and thinks they will be further harmed if they don’t retaliate. INH123 wasn’t in that kind of situation. She wasn’t about to nut him with a rolling pin, she hadn’t smashed a bottle and was waving it in his face. There are acceptable ways of dealing with the situation, but violence, especially violence designed to seriously injure someone smaller and lighter than you are is reprehensible. Oh, and “I just panicked” is not an excuse for this.

Of course, this assumes that his story is in any way true, which I seriously doubt.

seranvali
8 years ago

Claudia:

That’s starting to look like a viable option. I hope it’ll be ready for full scale use soon, as long as they’re sure it’s without side effects.

*goes off to check out petition site and mailing list*

PDA (short for PDA's Dada Acronym)

I can’t make fun of you

Don’t strain yourself on our account, chief.

seranvali
8 years ago

Cloudia:

I’m getting a 404 on the link you posted

cloudiah
8 years ago

@Seranvali: I suspect Antz is ignoring it because he doesn’t actually want to solve the problem of having a safe birth control option for him; he just wants to troll feminists. FACTS DON’T MATTER! 🙂

cloudiah
8 years ago

Sorry, I must have mucked up that 2nd link, but here it is: http://techcitement.com/culture/the-best-birth-control-in-the-world-is-for-men/

If you just Google RISUG, you’ll find a lot of information about it.

PDA (short for PDA's Dada Acronym)

I’m getting a 404 on the link you posted

BECAUSE TEH FEMINIZMZ

seranvali
8 years ago

Cloudiah,

I think you’re right but honestly, a safe and effective male contraceptive…what’s not to love? All of us women would be able to get off the “pill” (if we chose) and dispose of that myriad of potentially devastating side effects! Yay, no more anti coagulants because of DVTs!!!

Seriously though, if men were able to feel more empowered about having their own mode of contraception I doubt we’d need to be having this conversation ever again. Women have theirs and men have their own. That would be great.

seranvali
8 years ago

Cloudiah:

Thanks for the link!

cloudiah
8 years ago

@PDA THE ZOMBIE BETTY FRIEDAN TOOK DOWN THE INTERNETZ!!!

@seranvali It would be great indeed. But as someone pointed out on the other thread (can’t credit them, because my memory is for shit), MRAs would just turn around and say “Why should MEN have to be responsible for taking birth control? Men can’t get pregnant!” They’re very good at moving those goalposts, MRAs.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
8 years ago

r/MensRights – the hyperbole is strong in them.

seranvali
8 years ago

Cloudiah:

They probably would but that wouldn’t prevent all the cool, reasonable, caring men in the world from using it. If it means their partners aren’t likely to have to deal with chemical contraception and it’s side effects, I think the vast majority of men wouldn’t have a problem. But the MRA will grumble because that’s what they do.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Because you had been doing so well before Antz.

darksidecat
8 years ago

I am not a medical researcher or research institution, nor am I a funder of such, so the question of whether or not there should be research towards a male birth control pill is pretty much not really related to my opinions one way or the other. Unless there is strong evidence that legitimate and scientifically valid research is being denied federal funding that would be given to other similarly situated drugs, I don’t really see what relation this question is supposed to have to anyone but people who decide what drugs to research developing.

The framing of male birth control as something for a member of the general public to support or not support is rather strange. We don’t typically interact with drugs development, except in cases of fatal conditions/contagious conditions or funding discrepancies in public research funds, in this manner.

I can only really think off hand of one public push through to speed up release of drugs in research that was fairly effective, and that was with the first HIV drugs, when there were no other options and people were dying from HIV at high rates. Since there was so much risk without the drug, the very real side effect risks were considered to be worth it because people were dying in painful and unpleasant manners.

I do not particularly see that sort of urgency when it comes to pushing through a dangerous drug for the purposes of expanding options in birth control.

Rutee Katreya
8 years ago

You need rest, Futrelle. You are making less sense every day. I can’t make fun of you unless you are at least partly coherent

Now you’re just being lazy; we mock you all the time, and you’re an incoherent lackwit.

So how many personas is that for Antsy anyway? Underground freedom fighter, Transhumanist Misogynist, Scared Dad, take-no-shit fauxtivist, Court Jester…

indifferentsky
8 years ago

We need stats on those sperm stealers! STAT!

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

I was under the impression that condoms were a form of birth control that men could do.

And they can’t claim lack of forethought. If I can take my T everyday like a manly work of clock, they can take their BC!

Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

“one of our most pressing issues.”

Most pressing issues.

Most.

Pressing.

Issues.

Just…what?

I mean, I don’t exactly rely on the MRM to have perspective— but srsly.

Sharculese
Sharculese
8 years ago

I can’t make fun of you

that’s because you’re a moron

Maya Lovelace
Maya Lovelace
8 years ago

You need rest, Futrelle. You are making less sense every day. I can’t make fun of you unless you are at least partly coherent.

Didn’t you just admit you were a troll, AntZ?

Fuck off, bigot.

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

Oh Antsy: You are complaining about Dave being less than coherent?

Let me repeat something you seem to be ignoring elsewhere.

******
Antz: What is the motivation behind the millions of women who actually do things similar to this?

Millions?

At what rate per annum? The rate of live births in the US has been holding steady between 3, and 4 million per year for the past 30 years.

But we’ll go back just 20, that’s, more or less, 80 million births (to be generous).

So millions is plural, I’ll [again] be generous, and hold to the bottom end… 2 million.

You are saying that almost three percent of children born in the US are because women chose to “steal sperm”.

Initial work with the MBC demonstrated a number of unacceptable side effects, but the low dose Nofertil pill had only one documented side effect (permenent infertility in 10% of users). This is an acceptable risk to many men. The pill is non-homronal, and should have been available long ago. Feminist opposition kept it off the market. Accrding to the man who invented it.

If you have any questions, ask me. I speak fluent portuguese.

I have a question… where is the peer-reviewed study on the effectivness of the drug? Who administered the double blind tests? How long was the study period (esp. the longitudninal follow-up on the people who were rendered permanently infertile)?

How is it that this Brazilian doctor was in a debate with Betty Freidan on the subject? What was the context of the alleged exchange? Who else was present?

Why would the company which backed Nofertil care if feminists hated it? If it’s such a swell deal they could certainly have gotten it approved.

Get real. You keep telling us what a brilliant scientific type you are, then you spew nonsense like this.

Medium Dave
8 years ago

I was under the impression that condoms were a form of birth control that men could do.

Yep! And that’s exactly the reason for the popularity of the stories about sperm-stealing women, IMO… MRA’s are afraid of taking responsibility for much of anything, so any story (no matter how silly) they can tell themselves about how “it’s women’s fault” they latch onto.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Tulgey

I actually think it shows just how little they have to deal with.

Now brb, have to hook my husband up to the milking machine to steal all of his moneyz.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

So these seem to be the assumptions the MRAs are making:

A) $300 a month is a plush income for a woman, enough for her to live in luxury.
B) Raising children is zero work.
C) Women have no desire to have a personally meaningful career.
D) Women do not actually want children for their own sake, but only as a means to an end.

In that case… the most rational thing for a woman to do is become a nanny or work in a daycare. It’s not work, because it’s just watching children, the money is far better than child support, and she gets nights and weekends off. Plus she doesn’t have to push anything out of her vagina or have anything cut out of her uterus.

Even in MRA-land, spermjacking for profit is a terrible course of action.

But I guess that just proves how irrational women are?

Sharculese
Sharculese
8 years ago

i think we all know antz is lying about his professional background, considering his ever shifting story about every other aspect of his life and personality

Anthony Zarat
8 years ago

“Antz, I can help. I am fluent in Futrelle. What didn’t you understand?”

That was funny! Futrelle should ask you to write a boob-post. You have talent!

“The framing of male birth control as something for a member of the general public to support or not support is rather strange.”

How so? Funding and regulatory approval are both issues that anyone can understand and contribute to.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
8 years ago

Mmmm… yeah. Women can get a quarter of a million in child support by having a dude’s kid! And the average cost of raising said kid for 18 years is a paltry…

$222,360, not including college costs.

So… being optimistic and saying that you actually get a quarter of a million over eighteen years (not very likely), that’s a whopping profit of $28,640 on average, or about 1.6K a year in tax-free income! Man… These women have it made! All the years of diaper changing, feeding, laundry-doing, comforting, and basically revolving your life around this child of yours is totally worth a little extra green.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

AntZ, the average child support payment is between $200 and $300 a month.

Would you push a cantaloupe out of your asshole for that kind of money?

Remember, the cantaloupe won’t sleep through the night for months.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

I wonder how many of them read something that has a woman getting $10,000 a month in child support from some famous dude who gets large sums of money in his paycheck and goes “oh my god! that could totally happen to me since I make $2200 a month.”

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

Oh, and the cantaloupe won’t be able to use a toilet for years. Eventually, it’ll turn into a teenager.

Seriously, AntZ and any other MRAs reading this, would you take that deal for $200 a month?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I enjoy the “MRAs are respectful” crap he’s trying to sell. OK, chief.

Zarat, you’re a boring, unfunny, irrelevant BIGOT. Say hey to FOREIGN BRIDE!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
8 years ago

@Holly:

Even in MRA-land, spermjacking for profit is a terrible course of action.

But I guess that just proves how irrational women are?

Nah, it just proves that women are super devious! They play the long-con like pros.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

The cantaloupe can’t be left alone in the house for ten minutes until it’s twelve years old. You have to take it with you every time you want to go out. Any movies you want to see in the theater? Any friends you want to eat out with? Any bars you want to go to? Take the cantaloupe!

Whoops, you can’t take the cantaloupe to a bar, you shouldn’t take it to most R-rated movies, and you’ll have to find it “kid food” and deal with impatience and attention-seeking if you take it out to a restaurant. Guess you’ll have to hire a babysitter. At $10/hour minimum, that’s going to cut into that $200/month pretty quickly.

Again, MRAs: would you take this deal for $200/month?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
8 years ago

@Holly:

Wait… 200-300 a month? But that’s only…

18*12*250 = 54000 over the course of 18 years.

Which brings the total profit margin to…

-$168,360.

Wow.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
8 years ago

Where the hell did “quarter of a million in child support” come from? Did they look at the cost of raising a child and assume that that is what the child support total would be?

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

You heard the deal, MRAs — grow a cantaloupe in your internal organs, have it cut out, and change its diapers for four years for -$168,360.

Would you take that deal?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Where the hell did “quarter of a million in child support” come from? Did they look at the cost of raising a child and assume that that is what the child support total would be?

Pretty much. They’re assuming the mother isn’t working or contributing a dime, because you can totes live like a rockstar on $300 a month.

katz
8 years ago

AntZ is dimly aware that people here use words to mock him and it hurts his feelings, so if he uses the same words, it will hurt our feelings.

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