Empirical means “derived from or guided by experience or experiment.” Prima Facie, in legal terms, means something that is self-evident.
So I was intrigued when Man Boobz Man Boob All-Star MarkyMark recently promised, in the headline to one of his blog posts, to present “Empirical & Prima Facie Evidence Women Should NOT Vote.” I’m game, MarkyMark. Where exactly do you find the empirical evidence for this evidently self-evident proposition?
In a vast collection of empirical observations called “The Bible.” Specifically, the book of Genesis (not the one with Phil Collins in it).
If you remember Genesis 3 in the Bible, you’ll remember that God gave men & women their respective curses after The Fall. For men, it was to “labor by the sweat of their brow all the days of their lives”; IOW, men were cursed with work. Women were cursed “with pain in childbearing.”
So far this empirical evidence is pretty powerful. MarkyMark continues:
Now, what feminism sought to do was, in ADDITION to having their own curse, was secure for women the curse of men too. And women FELL for it-real smart, Ladies! Not only did you swallow the feminist bullshit hook, line, and sinker; it looks like you ate the rod, reel, and line to boot! Only women could do something so foolish, idiotic, and STUPID.
And now he comes to the nub of his argument:
Though many arguments could be made against women’s suffrage, though many arguments could be made against giving women the right to vote, this situation right here provides both empirical and prima facie evidence that women are NOT smart enough to vote; they do not have the mental wherewithal to vote. I mean, come on! How stupid do you have to be to DOUBLE your cursings from God? …
Seriously, men do NOT go around seeking to add to their curses in life. Have you ever seen men CLAMORING to experience child birth, and all the pain that goes along with it?! No, you have not. …
In closing, though many arguments could be made against women’s suffrage, we don’t need many arguments; we only need one: women, not men, chose to DOUBLE their divine curse; women, not men sought to ADD to whatever pain child birth brought into their lives; finally, women did this eagerly, accepting men’s divine curse with gusto as they STAMPEDED into the world of work. That alone shows us that women cannot think causally, linearly, logically, or for the good of others. Therefore, women should not be allowed to vote-end of story.
After all this talk of divine curses, I thought I would share with you a Divine blessing. Here’s Divine, with her 1983 club hit “Love Reaction.” I think they call her Divine because she sings like an angel. And yeah, the song does sound an eensy teensy little bit like “Blue Monday” by New Order. Her producer was sort of known for completely ripping off other people’s songs.
Oh, you want to tell me that Eve fucked up? Cain was a murderer!
MarkyMark has provided clear evidence that he is incapable of thinking causally, linearly, logically, or for the good of others.
FTFH
Well I for one can’t see any flaws in that argument at all.
MarkyMark doesn’t like his job.
I love my job, hence I am much smarter then he is.
Who should vote?
Since the Bible was written, the condition in which we give birth have gotten better, so I guess we just got bored. Or maybe we’re so brave and strong, us lady, that we wanted to relieve the men from their curse. Anyway, who said vote goes with work? Democracy wasn’t very big in VII BC (if I’m not lost in the dates) and God doesn’t exactly gives his opinion on the subject, nor did Jesus.
If anything, Genesis show us who have a leader’s spirit, and who is a follower. Eve 2012! If it wasn’t for her, they’d still be running naked in the garden of heaven like children, and nobody would have invented sex, literature or the computer!
Cherry-picking from the the Bible, supporting bigots since… I don’t know, when was it written already?
So voting is a curse….why exactly?
Chances are when the bible was written MarkyMark’s class would have come into play. Which means he would not been able to vote,
My wife has opted not to vote in an upcoming local election.
But that’s not because she’s an airhead who doesn’t understand politics, it’s because she hates both the candidates more or less equally.
Still, at least MarkyMark should be happy – it may not be for the reasons he’d prefer, but at least there’ll be one fewer woman casting a vote over the next few weeks.
If voting is a curse, man could always avoid the curse by, you know, not voting.
MarkyMark is my favorite MGHOW, just for gems like this. Yes, MarkyMark, because everyone everywhere believes in the same god and everything.
He’s like a not too bright toddler.
Since when is it evil of someone to take on a “curse,” anyway? Seems downright noble to me.
@Holly: not to mention, who the fuck did Adam and Eve’s children marry?
And what the hell that thing with Noah and his daughters?????????
The Bible: INCEST IS CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got epidurals during both of my deliveries, making my divine curse quite tolerable. Does that mean it’s cool for me to vote?
Yeah I’m trying to figure out how women are cursed by voting but men aren’t. But of course that’s because I’m trying to actually think about this.
Sorry, Kendra, since there was no epidural during biblical times, you’re fucked. No vote for you.
Bluuurgh, I’d be more scared of the epidural than of giving birth. The size of those needles… 🙁
Then again, I’ve never been in labor, so it’s all very easy for me to say.
I can make extremely limited interpretations of the Bible too:
MarkyMark should be kissing every woman’s ass. Because it was Eve and the serpent (who had been represented as a woman as far in time as Michelangelo’s frescoes) who gave man the knowledge of good and evil and his humanity. Without Eve, mankind would be like every other animal with no self awareness or intellectual or imaginative capacity.
So there.
So then is he saying that the only people who should be allowed to vote are unemployed women who have not born children?
Right? Paris Hilton! Right?
MarkyMark’s already there.
So, if I’m an atheist, can I vote? The prima facie evidence doesn’t apply in my case…
Holly: My sister was quite happy with hers, said it didn’t hurt, but she’s kinda got high tolerance for needles in the spine – she had meningitis once and the fuckwit who did one of the spinal taps ended up having to make multiple tries, scraping bone several times. Shudder.
I would applaud this exquisite argument of M&M’s, but it turns out that as a woman I’m probably too stupid to read, therefore I l;jkfrakhifkjksaz.fioefkjds,jdkjkjvsdjnlkjsdbnvkeu,xz!
*votes for Ron Paul* ;D
Dang. I thought I found a divine loophole.
Hope this isn’t TMI, but the contractions I felt were so excruciatingly painful, I didn’t care how big the needle was or that it was going directly into my spine. I just wanted any kind of relief the anesthesiogist could offer. I hope I’m not scaring anyone who plans on having babies in the future. The good news is that once the epidurals were in, I felt normal and was even able to nap.
Before epidural=hell, After epidrual=heaven
Yes! They even made a movie about it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/
I’m pretty sure it’s based on a true story.
*takes birth control pill*