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Reddit MRA: My eminent businessman friend who is totally not made-up refuses to be alone in a room with a woman

This seems like a completely reasonable course of action:

Oh, by the way, I know a guy who’s a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and he can fly and turn invisible.

Not at the same time, though. When he forgets and turns invisible while flying, he plummets to earth.

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ozymandias42
12 years ago

I think you shouldn’t offer rides to teen girls, but getting arrested for it is a bit much– especially since there’s no reason to think it WASN’T well-intentioned but mistaken.

Crum
Crum
12 years ago

Paul Elam said he refuses to be alone or talk with a woman alone on one of his podcasts but I forgot which one, therefore I must be lying heh

I think that’s a good idea, but not for Paul’s sake.

debbaasseerr
12 years ago

the mere accusation from a woman will disrupt business and family

Poor guy. He’s the real, true victim. Another strait, white, wealthy, successful, kinda popular (and probably imaginary) guy who’s life has been ruined by social progress.

Think of the fucked up shit his strait, white, wealthy, successful grandfather or even great grandfather woulda been able to get away with! It brings tears to the eye — tears of the loss of privilege to great to even comprehend – surely the bitterest kind for people like him.

debbaasseerr
12 years ago

ahh – quote fail. First line above should be in quotes.

Joe
Joe
12 years ago

The problem is not that the guy offered a ride to someone he thought was in need. The problem is not that teen girls refused the ride. The problem is not that he went “ok” and drove away when told they did not want a lift. The problem is not that they were scared (for no reason) nor that they reported it. All of that’s ok. Teen girls are often scared for no real reason. Spiders for instance.

The PROBLEM is that this man, who offered help, who harmed no-one, has been charged with a CRIME for doing so. That is the problem.

I’m actually astonished that any men still offer help to children / girls / women at all given the insane level of misandrist pedo/rape-hysteria in the Anglosphere*.

Now, I could hypothesise a worst case scenario of what happens when the men in a society are too afraid of false accusations to offer help, but sadly, I don’t need to, because it’s already happened:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7475814.stm

“….the tragic example of Abigail Rae, a three-year-old from Warwickshire who drowned in a pond after she escaped from her nursery.

An inquest into her death in 2006 heard that Clive Peachy, a bricklayer, had passed the toddler by as she wandered the road alone. He failed to stop and help her – fearing people might think that he was trying to abduct the little girl. ….”

I can’t find an in-depth article about the case atm, just the report from the coroner’s inquest.

Not an isolated incident:
http://www.news.com.au/opinion/miranda-devine-asks-why-are-all-men-made-to-feel-like-fiends/story-e6frfs99-1225944489870

If Rodney Peterson hadn’t offered those girls a lift and they had frozen to death? I am sure every single poster on here condemning him now, would be vehemently condemning him for selfishness / hard-heartedness / cowardice. And if they could find a law to fit, they’d want him locked up for that.

(*it’s different in the Latin countries I’ve lived in. People in those countries have not been trained to see all men as evil monsters. If you walk pass little kids in the street and they say “Hola” and you smile and say “Hola” in return, neither parents nor police will assume you are a pedo. It’s an amazing feeling, when you realise people see you as a human too.).

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Yes. I propose a new law that no man should venture anywhere without being under the watchful eye of his immediate family members. Even if its his five year old daughter. Won’t somebody think of the safety of our men?!

debbaasseerr
12 years ago

*a courtroom*

attorney: “Is it true that you saw the plaintiff in this case, attempt to slip by the door in an attempt to be alone with the defendant?”

assistant: “Yes. Once I noticed I ran right to the door when I heard the plaintiff yelling ‘and since you don’t have a witness there’s nothing you can do to stop me, foolish male! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!’ as she ran off.”

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

@BigMomma

Haha! I love ninja’d moments on Manboobz xD

I suspect that a lot of the guys who were harassing and trolling Rebecca Watson actually know why it’s inappropriate to hit on someone in an elevator at 4am…but they’re self-righteous assholes who just want to fight someone they view as the enemy. Its the same as this story. And if these guys had teenage daughters of their own and they said “hey dad a man I don’t know drove me home today” I’m quite sure they would not be okay with it.

@Koren

What about Dr. T? lol

Rutee Katreya
12 years ago

This dude must have like 40 friends whoa re all in the MRM, considering how often this story goes around, always about a friend.. It’s like that socialist lazy daughter chain email republicans send around election time.

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

@TheOtherDracula

yeah i started typing a post about what people would have said if they had got into the car and then i ended up going on and on about schroedinger’s rapist really and it all got long winded. So i deleted it. and then you said it concisely. Thank you

debbaasseerr
12 years ago

@ Quakers – it seemed like most of those harassers / trolls were seriously unable to accept criticism from a woman, all the more so for it being on point. But that also kinda falls into “self righteous assholes who want an enemy to fight against”, too.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

@debbaasseerr

It’s a kneejerk, emotional reaction. Quite common if you perceive that person as your enemy or an inferior woman daring to speak out against something. The funny thing is that they all probably fancy themselves these objective, intelligent people when really they’re just “FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUURARGHHSHFEMINAZIIII!!!!”

Its also hilarious how hard they tried to be naive and rationalize elevator dude’s behavior…yeah, I’m sure he just invited her to his hotel at 4am just to talk. I’m also sure I’m the Queen of England.

katz
12 years ago

Rutee–and they’re all either grocery store checkers who saw someone buying lobster with food stamps or doctors who treated some slut who was on Medicaid.

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

@ozymandias42

i agree, getting arrested for what seems like a totally innocent and helpful gesture is very strange and over the top. i can’t help but wonder why they have brought the charges. More information needed.

i can also hear the distant call of ” awhoooo false allegation awhooo” as MRAs call to each other over the frozen feminist wasteland

i think it’s sad that people can’t offer to help in that situation without suspicion coming their way.

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

i really need to edit my post….my sadness is directed at random acts of kindness being treated with suspicion…MRAs howling to each…they can have the full force of my suspicion and mockery.

Steph
12 years ago

That really is odd (the guy getting arrested for offering a lift) — does anyone know if there’s more to it than that? I could only find his description of the event at the link.

darksidecat
12 years ago

Um, I’m going to step up and say that teenagers do have reason to be suspicious of strangers offering them rides. That’s sad, but totally true. And the mras would be the first to blame the children and their guardians or teachers if anything did happen to the kids if they took a ride.

Also, if the girls needed help, they had just walked out of a convenience store, which typically have fucking landline phones they could have called for help on.

This was creepy behavior, and if it wasn’t actual creeping, it certainly was oddly out of place and looking like an attempt to creep one teenagers.

I also found the mentioning of his wife and kids in the article to be rather rape myth pushing. The man who molested me had been married for decades and had a number of children, it didn’t make him not a molester. The teacher at my school who was caught sexually assaulting adolescents was married, with kids. The guy who molested a twelve year old locally for an extensive period was married and had kids about the girl’s age. The fact that he’s married and has kids doesn’t mean shit when it comes to being a predator.

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

@darksidecat

i totally agree with every line in your post. i’m just also sad that it has to be this way with regards to the offer of a lift.

and what also gets me is that stranger danger is so drummed into us whereas we all know where the abuse and violence mostly occurs.

Hugs to you for your story.

elusis
12 years ago

I sat through a whole university Sexual Harassment training which kept being de-railed by the older white men present (all faculty or administrators) with just these kinds of comments, essentially demanding that the presenters focus on how they could really, truly, always, for sure, never ever have to worry about being accused falsely of sexual harassment because clearly that is the #1 workplace problem these days. Then they would start swapping tips just like this – “I never meet alone with a woman student,” etc.

By the end I was furious and I let the presenters know it. Not only was it phenomenally dismissive of the possibility that sexual harassment actually happens (never mind that it’s almost never done by people who would say “yeah I am totally sexually harassing that person!” but by people who think they’re just misunderstood), but it was turning into a bragging section about, basically, how to give an unequal education to women vs. men students by denying them extra teaching and mentorship.

Steph
12 years ago

I think it was mentioned before, when someone was claiming to videotape all their sexual encounters to “prove” they weren’t a rapist, but that wouldn’t even actually work. Like, assuming I did want to accuse someone of sexual harassment that they didn’t do, couldn’t I just say we were alone together, even if we never were? I mean, if I’m already lying, I could just lie about that too, couldn’t I? Or do these guys have witnesses hanging around them at all times, just in case?

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

but the question becomes why is it always pinned on “hysterical” women and feminists for supposedly pushing stranger danger when it’s the damn rapists, pedophiles and murderers…you know, the assholes COMMITTING THE CRIMES that actually require us to take extra precautions.

I’m so sick of this victim blaming bullshit. If you try to protect yourself from being raped or killed, you’re a misandrist for assuming the worst of men. If you don’t protect yourself and go off with some stranger then get raped or killed, well what WERE you thinking going off with that dude?! what did you expect…you should have KNOWN better.

When is our fucked up society going to blame the people committing the crimes and not the people who dare to keep safe. On top of that how can MRAs be so damn stupid to not realize how hypocritical they are for encouraging paranoia of teh evil wimminz from stealing their sperm or some shit, but then throwing tantrums in comment sections when women express fear of being raped or killed or calling the cops when some strange creep offers them a ride. Yeah I used the word creep, because this is what this man was. A creep offering a ride to UNDERAGE GIRLS HE DOES NOT KNOW. That is creepy. And if would be creepy if a woman did it too so deal with it MRAs.

My safety comes before some poor widdle MRAs feelings, if that makes me a misandrist then so be it.

BigMomma
BigMomma
12 years ago

@quackers

+1000 internet points

beshemoth
12 years ago

@Quackers: word.

Although to be fair to MRAs, I think there’s a cognitive dissonance right through society on this one (or maybe, many people Just Don’t Think Things Through).

Instance: I was attacked at a party, hosted by my boyfriend’s friends, when I was 19. Reaction of pretty much everyone I knew when word got out: “Well, you shouldn’t have been at that party, then it wouldn’t have happened!”. (Hypothetical reaction of any of them if I had declined attending their own birthday party later that year, in case something like that happened: ???)

Went to a meet-up group to see a band a few years ago, aged *cough*. Unfortunately, there was only me and this one other guy, turned out, and even more unfortunately, he flipped out halfway through the night and had a sudden full-on screaming fit at me, so I ran away cos he was HUGE. Reaction of several people I described situation to: “Well, what were you thinking, being out in public with a stranger?” (Reaction of exactly the same people when I said I was leery of going on blind dates/ dates off internet dating sites, WHICH ARE THE SAME SITUATION: “you’re just paranoid”).

As far as I can tell, you’re supposed to be perfectly, impeccably psychic at all times and be open and friendly with everyone except the Bad Guys, who you are supposed to ascertain the identities of in advance and then shun, even though they look and act just like everyone else, up until it is Too Late.

I think with ‘regular society’ there’s a temptation to say, “Well, you obviously shouldn’t have been there THAT ONE TIME (for I am off out tonight to a party/ on a date/ to see a mate for beers myself, but obviously this is a totally DIFFERENT situation LALALALA)” because they want to be able to go out and have a life like anyone else too. I just don’t get how MRAs get from that to their particular dichotomy.

Crap, late for work. Have a lovely day.

shaenon
12 years ago

I think it was mentioned before, when someone was claiming to videotape all their sexual encounters to “prove” they weren’t a rapist, but that wouldn’t even actually work.

Shhhh! Say his name three times and he appears!

chocomintlipwax
12 years ago

Well, Elam and I have something in common! How about that! I don’t want to be alone in a room with him either!

I also just wanted to say that I have a friend who has a rare skin disorder that makes her look and taste just like a pretzel. And she refuses to go into bars alone for fear that the patrons will break her into a thousand pieces, dip her in mustard, and eat her. I’m not sure what kind of discrimination that is, but since I’m already making shit up, I may as well make up a word for it … OMG!! MISPRETZELY!!