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“It must be cotton pony rodeo time,” and other incredibly brilliant insults that will totally make the ladies cry.

This one is also hilarious.

In the war of ideas, it is important to be well-armed. And that’s why one brave antifeminist warrior named Roy Scott Movrich has supplied his fellow warriors with some potent verbal ammunition, a full clip of misogynist insults designed to reduce all women in the immediate area to blubbering tears.

As Roy explains:

Feminists have gotten away with shaming language for too long. Far too long.

Its time we got our own back.

And since women in general have not stood up to defend men, it stands that all women are tarred with the same brush. Therefore ALL women are to be denigrated equally.

Fair’s fair.

Here are a choice sampling of insults to deride women with.

Try them and see. I did. And watch their ordure (translation: s**t) hit the roof!

A few of Roy’s insults are borrowed from literature (mostly from Shakespeare), but most of them are originals. In a manner of speaking.

He starts out with a puzzler:

Your’s is even smaller than mine.

Presumably he is suggesting that cis women/feminists have some sort of symbolic penis, and that this symbolic penis of theirs is smaller than his non-symbolic penis

He continues on with several other comments in this vein:

It’ll be way bigger than anything you’ll ever have.

The one you try to have is even smaller than mine.

And of course this classic:

Mine isn’t too small, your cooch is too wide/large/loose.

Then we get some vibrator-shaming:

Oooh! Bad mood! Did you run out of batteries?

And some wildly unoriginal negs:

You sound really old.

You don’t look your age. [Pause] You look [longer pause] old.

You look good enough to be my great-great grandmother.

This one might not be terribly successful with total strangers:

You were/are a lousy lover.

And then it’s back to the vagina:

You must be having constant periods.

It must be cotton pony rodeo time huh?

Note to self: Find out if anyone in the history of the world has ever referred to a woman’s period as “cotton pony rodeo time.”

Then on to cats, spinster-shaming, and general unpleasantness:

Did one of your cats just die?

You must not be married yet.

Can’t have kids huh?

There’s nothing a woman can do for me that my right hand can’t do better.

Even dung beetles are higher than women and feminists.

And back to the vagina again:

You obviously have one of those super large and deep ginas a man has to strap a plank to his back to prevent him falling into.

Note to self: Find out if there is anyone who refers to vaginas as “ginas” who is not a misogynist asscrack.

If you need more, Roy suggests that you can basically go with

[a]nything that implies her plumbing isn’t clean, has diseases or a foul smell.

After delivering this list (and some Shakespeare quotes), Roy somewhat confusingly concludes that insulting women is actually a waste of time:

[A]t the end of the day, given that women are devoid of logic and wit, using such choice insults is wanton waste.

Better to ignore them completely.

And since modern women, with their over-inflated sense of entitlement cannot abide being ignored, this is just as dramatic and effective as any insult.

In other words, the chance that Roy has ever used any of these insults in a conversation with a woman is roughly zero.

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LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Lu

…*shifty-eyes*

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

I’m puzzled at the idea of shaming a woman by saying her clitoris is too small. I’ve read about women wondering if her lips were too big, and the “haha your vagina is big” insult, but clitoris? I think this man is a bit too penis-centric to realize that, while women are shamed about many part of their body, mocking the size of their clitoris is unlikely to hit a nerve.
Though they are numerous in this place.

ithiliana
12 years ago

@Kyrie: mocking the size of their clitoris is unlikely to hit a nerve.
Though they are numerous in this place.

Hahahaha, I see what you did there!

I’d have thought breast size would be the best way to attack women.

Amazing that even when it comes to coining insults, these guys are so well limp and ineffectual.

Falconer
12 years ago

@Kyrie: Didn’t you know that the cock was the seat and source of all power, ever? Even when that cock is more accurately termed a clit?

Morgan
Morgan
12 years ago

And since women in general have not stood up to defend men, it stands that all women are tarred with the same brush.

So if we apply this rule in the converse, should we claim that all men are tarred with the same brush as you? That they’re all disrespectful, misogynist assholes? You know, that’s exactly why growing up perceived as a male was so painful for me, especially in my teen years; I was very sensitive, maybe oversensitive in hindsight, to that, and always assumed everyone assumed the worst of me, based on what was under my clothes. =

Roy, you are a big delta-bravo (delta-bravo being my BFF’s rather cute, G-rated equivalent to douchebag).

Falconer
12 years ago

Your’s is even smaller than mine.

Wait a second, doesn’t this imply that it’s a response to cock-size shaming?

Do we do that? Is that a thing that is done as a feminist argument or critique?

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

Didn’t you know that the cock was the seat and source of all power, ever?

Seat and source, huh? If it was, gay men and straight women would have all the power and they would be on top of the kyriarchy!

ithiliana
12 years ago

Speaking of clits, have you hear about the new Coors Light Iced Tea beer.

They’re apparently trying it in Canada first…..

Falconer
12 years ago

You know, that’s exactly why growing up perceived as a male was so painful for me, especially in my teen years; I was very sensitive, maybe oversensitive in hindsight, to that, and always assumed everyone assumed the worst of me, based on what was under my clothes. =

That sounds terrible. Would you like hugs and/or affirmation from an Internet stranger?

Leely
Leely
12 years ago

I’ve actually heard “riding the cotton pony” before, but in a tongue-in-cheek, “fallen to the Communists” kind of way.

KathleenB
KathleenB
12 years ago

Shaun Day: This was… something like a year and a half ago, and I’m fine. My doc was amazingly supportive and helpful.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@ithiliana

Well, we DO like our clits 😛

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

Wait a second, doesn’t this imply that it’s a response to cock-size shaming?

Do we do that? Is that a thing that is done as a feminist argument or critique?

It absolutely does, and I can’t swear no feminist does that, but that definitly not a feminists thing to do.
Which remind me, on women’s rights day (or international women day, as you seem to call it), when I was basically asked to apologize for women who say stuff like “boys are stupid”. Urgh.

Falconer
12 years ago

Which remind me, on women’s rights day (or international women day, as you seem to call it), when I was basically asked to apologize for women who say stuff like “boys are stupid”. Urgh.

That was a terribly jerkish thing to demand, especially on Women’s Rights Day.

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

“ALL women are to be denigrated equally.”

I must have missed the part where fighting oppression = being an insufferable asshole ALL THE TIME.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@ostara321

I must have missed the part where fighting oppression = being an insufferable asshole ALL THE TIME.

This is true. However, considering they’re fighting FOR oppression, it may well be a requirement

Naira
Naira
12 years ago

Isn’t it great how the role reversal works? They claim that women treat all men as potential rapists is being bigoted and hateful.

But, of course, treating all women the same is perfectly acceptable.

I’m reminded of watching 6 year olds play tag and the on-the-spot rules they make up so they’re not REALLY “it.” So, do they have some sort of super-secret hypocrisy inhibitor that makes it so the double standard isn’t completely idiotic?

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Naira – Plus, if some women using gendered insults is a reason for him to use gendered insults, he’s now justified us using gendered insults against all men.

“Anything my worst enemies do is fair game for me to do” is not a moral philosophy that leads good places.

Amnesia
Amnesia
12 years ago

@Naira
Ah, Calvinball.

2-D Man
2-D Man
12 years ago

Yanno how when a person goes on and on about how zie’s honest, it’s a pretty good indicator not to trust zer….

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
12 years ago

I’m guessing these are the things he says to himself when women refuse his attentions.

Also he appears to have been deeply affected by the usual childhood experience of “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine”. Deeply. Affected.

pillowinhell
12 years ago

Oh wow. I want this guy to use these insults on me, just so I can laugh and pat him on the head.

On the other hand, I was just told by a prospective tenant, male, that I sound like I’m fourteen on the phone…..but its not that I look old or anything! which is really something to wrap my head around when I consider the number of older men who have told me I have a sexy voice on the phone…

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

@Shadow

Right, but I can’t help but wonder how MRA’s figure this gives them any credibility in their claims that its MENS RIGHTS they’re simply trying to achieve.

Though given their disregard for facts, perhaps credibility isn’t something they’re terribly concerned with.

TheNatFantastic
12 years ago

@Kyrie

On International Women’s Day I was defriended on FB by some guy who refused to believe that it wasn’t invented solely as a reason to ‘bash men’. He did not like me providing links.

Then I went and worked on a pro-choice stall for a few hours, during which lots of cis-men who thought they were very clever tried to tell me their deep philosophical insights on what I should and shouldn’t do with my vagina.

Lots of women and some men were very nice to us though, and we had vegan vagina-shaped fairy cakes. Which was good.

blitzgal
12 years ago

On International Women’s Day I was defriended on FB by some guy who refused to believe that it wasn’t invented solely as a reason to ‘bash men’. He did not like me providing links.

But I thought there was scientific proof that only liberals are intolerant of other views????
http://wonkette.com/466897/study-liberals-all-so-intolerant-want-everyone-to-die-on-facebook

Did he ask “when is International Men’s Day?”
http://gawker.com/5891720/international-mens-day-is-november-19-you-idiots