In the war of ideas, it is important to be well-armed. And that’s why one brave antifeminist warrior named Roy Scott Movrich has supplied his fellow warriors with some potent verbal ammunition, a full clip of misogynist insults designed to reduce all women in the immediate area to blubbering tears.
As Roy explains:
Feminists have gotten away with shaming language for too long. Far too long.
Its time we got our own back.
And since women in general have not stood up to defend men, it stands that all women are tarred with the same brush. Therefore ALL women are to be denigrated equally.
Fair’s fair.
Here are a choice sampling of insults to deride women with.
Try them and see. I did. And watch their ordure (translation: s**t) hit the roof!
A few of Roy’s insults are borrowed from literature (mostly from Shakespeare), but most of them are originals. In a manner of speaking.
He starts out with a puzzler:
Your’s is even smaller than mine.
Presumably he is suggesting that cis women/feminists have some sort of symbolic penis, and that this symbolic penis of theirs is smaller than his non-symbolic penis
He continues on with several other comments in this vein:
It’ll be way bigger than anything you’ll ever have.
The one you try to have is even smaller than mine.
And of course this classic:
Mine isn’t too small, your cooch is too wide/large/loose.
Then we get some vibrator-shaming:
Oooh! Bad mood! Did you run out of batteries?
And some wildly unoriginal negs:
You sound really old.
You don’t look your age. [Pause] You look [longer pause] old.
You look good enough to be my great-great grandmother.
This one might not be terribly successful with total strangers:
You were/are a lousy lover.
And then it’s back to the vagina:
You must be having constant periods.
It must be cotton pony rodeo time huh?
Note to self: Find out if anyone in the history of the world has ever referred to a woman’s period as “cotton pony rodeo time.”
Then on to cats, spinster-shaming, and general unpleasantness:
Did one of your cats just die?
You must not be married yet.
Can’t have kids huh?
There’s nothing a woman can do for me that my right hand can’t do better.
Even dung beetles are higher than women and feminists.
And back to the vagina again:
You obviously have one of those super large and deep ginas a man has to strap a plank to his back to prevent him falling into.
Note to self: Find out if there is anyone who refers to vaginas as “ginas” who is not a misogynist asscrack.
If you need more, Roy suggests that you can basically go with
[a]nything that implies her plumbing isn’t clean, has diseases or a foul smell.
After delivering this list (and some Shakespeare quotes), Roy somewhat confusingly concludes that insulting women is actually a waste of time:
[A]t the end of the day, given that women are devoid of logic and wit, using such choice insults is wanton waste.
Better to ignore them completely.
And since modern women, with their over-inflated sense of entitlement cannot abide being ignored, this is just as dramatic and effective as any insult.
In other words, the chance that Roy has ever used any of these insults in a conversation with a woman is roughly zero.
Some nights, the doctors on duty at the ER are both women.
I invite you to try and treat your heart attack by masturbating.
Oh man, can douchebags just completely ignore me? Pretty please! That would actually be kind of awesome.
It’s telling to me that the only things that he finds he can insult are female genitals and his strange obsession with marriage and kids that he mistakenly extends to women.
Soo… because most women are deserving of denigration, ALL women are deserving of denigration? This must be some new sort of logic that I’ve not heard yet.
You must be unaware of how periods work. Periods. Every so often. The key is in the name.
I’m so going to try and work “cotton pony rodeo time” into conversation this week. It is now on my to do list.
I’m not sure this guy has talked to a woman ever, much less to insult her.
Actually, cotton pony rodeo sounds really fun. Never would have guessed what he meant by that.
I always go with “I will pray for you.” It seems to be best when it comes to fightin’ words.
As usual with MRAs, though, the saddest thing is that he things he’s doing something new and rebellious.
Like insulting a woman for her genitalia or her sex appeal is something cutting-edge and taboo. Instead of something that happens all the fucking time.
“Hey guys, I just invented this totally new shocking thing where you insult a woman by asking if she’s on her period!”
way to go, champ
things = thinks
🙁
These are… terrible. They’re not even clever. Good lord.
Oh no my feelings! Baaaaaw!!!! ;_;
He really thinks that his insults are something new for women to hear? I’ve been lucky lately, but it hasn’t been that long since some random guy decided to tell me just how rotten and useless I am because I won’t stop what I’m doing (knitting or reading) and give him my full attention and adoration.
And yeah, my cat died recently and I feel like shit still about it, so I really hope that I don’t run into anyone who decides to use that as an insult – it might actually hurt. But then I had the joy of knowing my dear Circe, and he didn’t, so I win, after all.
“cotton pony rodeo time”?????
*speechless with hilarity*
@gem: I’m sorry to hear your cat died recently.
My mother-in-law has a ginger tabby whom she hasn’t seen since Monday morning.
Yesterday evening she spotted a tabby cat dead in the street and thought it might have been hers. We decided it wasn’t but she was still horribly upset.
And this fucker in the OP wants to use these emotions as an attack. I would like to kick him off my gender, please.
It took me a moment to get “cotton pony rodeo time” so perhaps it isn’t so biting a remark as he thinks it is.
Full disclosure: I spent about a whole second wondering what My Little Pony plushes had to do with insulting women.
Haha! He has my six year old niece’s grasp of age. (She thinks her grandmother is 150 years old)
Also, these are dumb. You really want to make a woman feel self-conscious about her looks? Tell her she looks tired. That’s all it takes. That’s a freebie, from me to you. That’s how damned pathetic you sound.
That’s a looks thing?
Every time people say that to me, it’s because I really haven’t slept and I’m like “yeah, you better believe it.”
I immediately thought of this: http://www.xkcd.com/1027/
@Blitzgal and Holly: re: tired.
People tell me that, I usually yawn hugely, agree, and then tell them what I’ve been doing the last few freaking days to end up so tired — that’ll teach them! (Though usually when I hear it, it’s from sympathetic women friends–men in my particular venue are not particularly likely to comment on looks, even if they notice something, which I doubt they do. I’m talking colleagues on campus, or people I interact with in public places–grocery stores, etc. I never go to bars or clubs or whatever.)
Blitzgal:
HA! My grandmother had me thinking she was only 36 for years. I was also one of those talky kids in stores–I never understood the raised eyebrows at this nugget of info until years later.
We need a new t-shirt: one with a woman trying to lasso a pony made of cotton
“Note to self: Find out if there is anyone who refers to vaginas as “ginas” who is not a misogynist asscrack.”
True story: The cheerleaders when I was in high school used to perform a thing called a “ginattack” upon one another, with alarming frequency. It was… exactly what it sounds like. And while I made it my mission to avoid most of the cheerleaders, save the friend who told me about this… “game,” I still wouldn’t call them “asscracks.”
@Crumbelievable:
I’m going to knit a stuffed pony out of red cotton now.
Here’s another one. Command random women on the street to “smile” for you. This is a classic. See, this stuff should come naturally to you dudes. Yours are far too silly; you’re just gonna get laughed at. I’m looking out for you, see? /sarcasm