Categories
antifeminism creepy disgusting women douchebaggery evil women girl germs men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA shaming tactics that's not funny! vaginas

“It must be cotton pony rodeo time,” and other incredibly brilliant insults that will totally make the ladies cry.

This one is also hilarious.

In the war of ideas, it is important to be well-armed. And that’s why one brave antifeminist warrior named Roy Scott Movrich has supplied his fellow warriors with some potent verbal ammunition, a full clip of misogynist insults designed to reduce all women in the immediate area to blubbering tears.

As Roy explains:

Feminists have gotten away with shaming language for too long. Far too long.

Its time we got our own back.

And since women in general have not stood up to defend men, it stands that all women are tarred with the same brush. Therefore ALL women are to be denigrated equally.

Fair’s fair.

Here are a choice sampling of insults to deride women with.

Try them and see. I did. And watch their ordure (translation: s**t) hit the roof!

A few of Roy’s insults are borrowed from literature (mostly from Shakespeare), but most of them are originals. In a manner of speaking.

He starts out with a puzzler:

Your’s is even smaller than mine.

Presumably he is suggesting that cis women/feminists have some sort of symbolic penis, and that this symbolic penis of theirs is smaller than his non-symbolic penis

He continues on with several other comments in this vein:

It’ll be way bigger than anything you’ll ever have.

The one you try to have is even smaller than mine.

And of course this classic:

Mine isn’t too small, your cooch is too wide/large/loose.

Then we get some vibrator-shaming:

Oooh! Bad mood! Did you run out of batteries?

And some wildly unoriginal negs:

You sound really old.

You don’t look your age. [Pause] You look [longer pause] old.

You look good enough to be my great-great grandmother.

This one might not be terribly successful with total strangers:

You were/are a lousy lover.

And then it’s back to the vagina:

You must be having constant periods.

It must be cotton pony rodeo time huh?

Note to self: Find out if anyone in the history of the world has ever referred to a woman’s period as “cotton pony rodeo time.”

Then on to cats, spinster-shaming, and general unpleasantness:

Did one of your cats just die?

You must not be married yet.

Can’t have kids huh?

There’s nothing a woman can do for me that my right hand can’t do better.

Even dung beetles are higher than women and feminists.

And back to the vagina again:

You obviously have one of those super large and deep ginas a man has to strap a plank to his back to prevent him falling into.

Note to self: Find out if there is anyone who refers to vaginas as “ginas” who is not a misogynist asscrack.

If you need more, Roy suggests that you can basically go with

[a]nything that implies her plumbing isn’t clean, has diseases or a foul smell.

After delivering this list (and some Shakespeare quotes), Roy somewhat confusingly concludes that insulting women is actually a waste of time:

[A]t the end of the day, given that women are devoid of logic and wit, using such choice insults is wanton waste.

Better to ignore them completely.

And since modern women, with their over-inflated sense of entitlement cannot abide being ignored, this is just as dramatic and effective as any insult.

In other words, the chance that Roy has ever used any of these insults in a conversation with a woman is roughly zero.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

165 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

The funny thing about Dragon age is that if you don’t want gay romance or gay sex in your game, there is none. Because nobody in this world will flirt with you if you don’t flirt first! And several times, with increasing intensity. And since none of it is essential to the main plot, if you believe all sex is gross and kissing before marriage is immoral, you can just not kiss people, and they won’t kiss you in return.
Incidentally, if you want a male-only team, that’s also possible! So I don’t think straight men are so badly treated after all.

Comet
Comet
8 years ago

You can sum up the MRM in 8 words, really.

I know you are but what am I?
I know you are but what am I?
I KNOW YOU ARE
BUT WHAT AM I?

(and ur vagina smellz lolol)

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Kyrie

if you believe all sex is gross and kissing before marriage is immoral, you can just not kiss people, and they won’t kiss you in return.

I feel a little uncomfortable when I read this line. I just don’t think I’d want romance in my game where I’d essentially be playing a character as myself. That’s totally fine for other folks, just not my thing.

–Rogan

Comet
Comet
8 years ago

When I was 12 or so, I was a bit of a tomboy. I used to hang out at my schoolfriend’s house with him and his brother, and they used to think it was hilarious to try and inflict pain on each other’s genitals, being 12-year-old boys and all. One thing I remember in particular is that they’d use the word mangina to describe what you’d be left with if you had a nasty penis-related accident (e.g. if you jumped over a fence too low and whacked yourself in the crotch) and at the time we all thought this word was the funniest thing in the known universe.

So whenever a MRA uses that word, I have trouble picturing them as anything other than 12 years old.

Polliwog
Polliwog
8 years ago

The funny thing about Dragon age is that if you don’t want gay romance or gay sex in your game, there is none. Because nobody in this world will flirt with you if you don’t flirt first!

In fairness, if I remember right, Zevran in DA:O will flirt mildly with your character, regardless of your chosen gender, if you are just reasonably sociable with him – but if you express disinterest he’ll stop, and that’s that. (And by “flirt mildly,” I mean I believe he says something implying that he thinks you’re good-looking. Oh noes.) I haven’t played DA2 yet, but given the way Bioware likes to recycle character personalities, I wouldn’t be surprised if one character is slightly flirty by default in it, too.

That said, if a player can’t deal with a fictional character on a computer screen saying something vaguely flirtatious to another fictional character, I think they have problems far too big for Bioware to solve for them. I mean, seriously, it’s bad enough to be worked up over the notion of “someone I’m not attracted to might be attracted to me” in real life, but freaking out over “a collection of pixels I’m not attracted to might be programmed to hit the dialogue option expressing attraction towards the fictional character I created” just takes it to a whole new level of pathetic.

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

@Rogan: I shouldn’t have expressed it like that. But the idea still stands: if you don’t want sex in your DA, there is none.

@Polliwog: I did not remember that, but I think you’re right.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

I just think it’s funny that people are all up in arms about one or two games where you have the option to be gay, as opposed to the eighty bajillion games that force you to be a man in a romance with a woman.

I mean, Duke Nukem doesn’t have any option for “but I don’t identify as a douchebag.” It’s a much bigger issue.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Kyrie

Yeah, I figured that’s how you meant it. And as for the flirty characters, that’s cool by me. People flirt with each other in real life.

RE: Holly

You made me sporfle with the Duke Nukem reference. Now I want, like, “non-douchebag” options in games!

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

Re: flirting

I do get weirded out by games where when you play as a female character, all the female NPCs flirt with you. (Saints’ Row 2 has this bad, Fallout 3 to a lesser extent.) It’s like a trip into Everyone-Is-A-Lesbian World because the script was written for a male player character and the female option was shoehorned in.

I don’t have a problem with NPCs with same-sex attraction, in fact I think it’s pretty cool, but having every woman in the game coming on to you all the time feels like an oogy little trip into Straight Male Fantasyland.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
8 years ago

I don’t have a problem with NPCs with same-sex attraction, in fact I think it’s pretty cool, but having every woman in the game coming on to you all the time feels like an oogy little trip into Straight Male Fantasyland.

The sensible way to do it would be to have a gender preference (straight, gay, bi, a) and a set of turn ons/offs (e.g. black hair, mage, elf, blue eyes, blond hair, tall, warriot etc.). Then randomise these amongst the non-party characters. This is highly simplified, but it may be for characters who only get a few lines of dialogue.
Of course, then you’d have people complaining that all the XYZs were either ‘wrong’ gender preference or into [feature your PC doesn’t have]. Just like real life!

Polliwog
Polliwog
8 years ago

I do get weirded out by games where when you play as a female character, all the female NPCs flirt with you. (Saints’ Row 2 has this bad, Fallout 3 to a lesser extent.) It’s like a trip into Everyone-Is-A-Lesbian World because the script was written for a male player character and the female option was shoehorned in.

I don’t have a problem with NPCs with same-sex attraction, in fact I think it’s pretty cool, but having every woman in the game coming on to you all the time feels like an oogy little trip into Straight Male Fantasyland.

Yeah, I hate it when it’s obvious that everything was written for a male PC; even some of the best games I know periodically have NPCs address my female character as “sir” or “boy” or “mister” because someone forgot to add another dialogue option, or have the Everyone-Is-A-Lesbian problem (or, even worse, the Everyone-Is-A-Lesbian-But-For-Some-Reason-I-Can’t-Flirt-With-Any-Of-The-Male-NPCs problem). It’s pretty pathetic in this day and age.

Christine Noble
8 years ago

Not to treat this too lightly, but I get the impression that a lot of these guys in the “manosphere” are just frustrated little twerps that can’t connect with anyone and can’t do the introspection necessary to figure out what it might be about them that makes that the case. So, of course, they lash out at all women.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Oh god, I spoke too soon. Now BioWare has served up a sexy, sexy robot woman (ARE YOU LISTENING, ANTZ?). Perhaps I should say a woman-shaped robot. And by “woman” I mean Playmate of the Year.

Well hell. Guess I’ll just stop endorsing video games 🙁

Pterygotus
Pterygotus
8 years ago

(A golem! Who IDs as off the gender binary! GIVE IT TO ME JESUS.)
Shale’s a woman. It explicitly states as such when you either bring her to the Anvil of the Void or do her personal quest if you didn’t do that first thing.

I would generally endorse anything by BioWare for social justice. They are good people.
No, Bioware are apparently all idiots, since somehow they’ve fucked up three consecutive games now (DA2 is beyond help, but ME3 could probably be salvaged with a Broken Steel-style DLC).

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
8 years ago

@Petrygotus: DA2 was a solid 8/10 game. Not sure about ME3 since I haven`t played any game in the ME series, but the complaints I’ve seen seem petty (anybody still complaining about Day 1 DLC is unaware of the process by which games are made).