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[TW for rape apologism and domestic violence.]
Paul Elam of A Voice for Men has responded to the Southern Poverty Law Center report on the Men’s Rights Movement with an letter to the organization’s head. Apparently, the SPLC is confused, and AVFM isn’t hateful at all! Indeed, it’s like the opposite of hateful. Loveful, you might call it. Here’s Elam:
Contrary to what readers of your site may be led to believe, the goals of SPLC and AVfM are quite similar: We both work to identify groups who seek to oppress others, and inform the public of the inequities they would perpetuate. … The work of AVfM is vital and, despite what you may think, not dissimilar from the goals and aims of the SPLC.
Indeed, AVFM might better be thought of as “a human rights organization.”
Elam also clears up a little matter of terminology:
[T]he term “mangina” is not a euphemism for “weak men,” but rather a label for men who enable and excuse female misconduct – ranging from physical violence to exculpatory false reporting of crimes … – solely because the offender is female (and to gain women’s approval).
I think I can speak for all manginas when I say, thanks for the clarification, Paul!
At the end of the letter, Elam gets all Martin Luther King on us:
Those who fear truth, and brand it as hatred and bigotry, hide behind the worst kind of cowardice – the sniveling complacency that for generations allowed the rich to starve the poor, for one person to own another because of the color of their skin, and for the officers at Nuremberg to claim they were “just following orders.” …
This movement will grow, as it has since its inception, and the time will come when the SPLC (and other groups) must admit our fundamental similarities and aspirations. I am inviting you, with open arms, to do just that.
The alternative, I fear, is that you come down on the wrong side of history, with the likes of Dred Scott as your legacy.
Inspiring stuff, Paul. Nazis, Dred Scott– you totally nailed it. Who could possibly doubt your passion, or your deeply moral vision?
Here’s a link to his letter.
Oh, wait, that wasn’t a link to his letter. That was a link to a post of his in which he tells a feminist that:
I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.
Here’s the link to his letter.
Oops! That was actually a link to a post in which he suggests that “vermin” like me (and another feminist writer who has also been critical of the Men’s Rights movement) deserve to be killed. Or have something awful and permanent happen to us that would solve “the problem” that is us. He’s a little vague.
Here, at long last, is the link.
Oh, sorry, that’s actually a link to a post in which Paul puckishly suggested that October, currently designated as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, should be renamed “Bash a Violent Bitch Month.” As he explained:
I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.
And then make them clean up the mess.
What a wit!
Anyway, here’s the letter.
Gosh darn it. I’m not doing too well with links at the moment. That’s actually a link to a post in which Elam suggests that women who drink and go home with men are “freaking begging” to be raped:
Damn near demanding it.
And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.
I guess that’s what they call “human rights advocacy” right there.
Ok, finally, the letter:
Damn. That wasn’t even by Paul. No, that was a guest post on A Voice for Men by a fellow named Keith, with an explanation for why men don’t just beat women all the time. (It’s not why you’d think!)
Let’s face it guys if it was about size or domination, or patriarchy or anything other than power, wouldn’t we be kicking the shit out of women on a daily basis in the streets? The only reason men don’t randomly pound the shit out of women who can’t keep their mouths shut, is because they don’t mean anything to us and they have no power over or in our lives. They are not worth the trouble! That’s the only reason there isn’t bodies strewn all over the streets.
That’s enough human rights advocacy for me for now. Here’s the actual link to Elam’s letter.
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This post contains some
I also see FailingMrE is a diagnosis king like thunderf00t. Brilliant. Just what I needed, another amateur psychologist.
Xardoz, Elam rageface is awesome. I will have to come up with an excuse to use it.
Oh Xardoz, that’s awesome! David should replace the Rageface on this post with your tribute version.
Jinx!
Ha, this ought to be good. Hey, you pathetic douchebags, SPLC has weathered blowback from paramilitary white supremacists for decades. They’re still here. You think some pathetic keyboard warriors like you are going to keep them up at night? You should only be grateful: at last, an organization with stature has actually taken you seriously enough to pay some attention. Revel in it, because it’s as much as anyone’s ever going to know about you sorry assholes.
RockingMrE is a Marxist by the way.
Oh thank christ, it’s not just me.
@Xardos
I made a cool new motivational poster for Paul Elam. Hope you guys enjoy it.
“That was actually a link to a post in which he suggests that “vermin” like me… deserve to be killed.”
No he does not.
Doesn’t it make you just a little bit thoughtful that, if you’re so right and they’re so wrong, you need to resort to such a dishonest twisting of their writing? As if anyone with a remote sense of truth would believe that adding “he’s a little vague” to the end of the paragraph was anything but a cheap attempt at plausible deniability.
OK!! I just re-read Paul’s letter today. I’m embarrassed that I seemed to miss this big chunk where he WAS saying that I might not agree with all the contributors or say things how they say things.
I had made a comment here saying that is 90 contributors line was a deflection attempt.
I was right in a stupid fool tarot card kind of way (what else is new). It’s stated right in the letter.
Sometimes I’m tired, and really I was so excited about the news and looking at so many things at once.
Adi, this is what Elam said:
So what exactly do you think he means by “treat[ing] these vermin as they deserve to be treated.”
That we should get sandwiches and tiaras?
When he says “the problem would be solved,” what exactly does he mean there? He wants us to shut up forever. How exactly does someone shut someone else up forever?
If he’s not suggesting that we “deserve” something terrible, why the last part of the sentence?
Your bit about “plausible deniability” is a bit, well, ironic. Elam is kind of the king of plausible deniability. Trouble is, he’s a little too obvious about it, and the only people who think he’s not saying what he obviously is saying (or at least pretend to think this) are, well, the gullible, the fanatical, or the extremely literal.
Funny how Elam forgets that good men don’t beat the shit out of women because they have a CONSCIENCE. This seems to be a foreign concept to him.
Elam says women are as violent as men and posts links to research that doesn’t exist, assuming silly people wont check.
He has a vide titled “On Going To War With Women”. He’s not kidding and neither are his supporters.
They can’t touch us if we simply avoid them in our personal lives. Looking at the marriage stats released by a 5400 person match.com study, more men than women want to get married and have babies. Surprise, suprise – men like us and want us to come back and hang out in their kitchens again. Well the number one reason women gave for not marrying was to avoid taking on the extra burden of domestic chores men dump on them. Yeah, that filly has definitely bolted and she’s never going back in the barn (or under your spurs and bit).
I’ve tried posting on his vids but he always removes me. I guess I “nag” his conscience and he finds it bothersome that he can’t beat the shit out of me physically or intellectually. If he could stand up to criticism he certainly would – and he’d enjoy the fight – but only if he’d win right. But he can’t because he’s a bald faced liar and easy to expose so he just removes dissenting voices. I do so love the internet. Muscle has absolutely no power here. This is a level playing field and frankly, he’s not up to a battle of wits. He’d lose. That’s why he won’t let anyone contradict his vids. Weakling! Lightweight! LOSER ha ha ha!!!
It’s truly a reality check when you see all the comments from men who support him though. The last 5 guys who hit on me IRL were all MRA’s lately. It’s easy to draw them out in conversation. I ran a mile. Just so long as they make their position clear, they are easy to avoid and it’s a LONG time out on their lonesome that they deserve. They can throw all the tantrums that they want but they’re not getting a moment or a touch or a smile or a helping hand from this good woman.
If I have to go on sex strike until I find a good man who is single and hot (to me) – so be it. It’s worth it to my peace of mind. I know that if appealing to abusive men’s consciences doesn’t get through to them then some tough love consequences certainly will. No love, no sex, no family, no babies, no help around the house, no company, no dinner, no dates, no flirting, no kissing, no gentle touch, no soft giggle, no sweet smile, no good morning, no goodnight, no NOTHING for “those” guys. Not now, not ever.
By the way – I freaking love this site. I will donate – gratefully.
I should have added that once you’ve learned to identify and avoid MRA’s in your personal life, it’s important to realise they also go to work – with YOU. They also are hiring managers that work in companies women are applying to. They are encouraging each other to trash women’s resumes without even considering them – which is illegal of course. But I digress. Here’s the thing. Women need to wake the fuck up and start helping each other at work. The only way men can get us back under their control or really hurt us is at work. At home we can leave them. At work they can harass us out of our jobs, gang up on us, sabotage us and fire us unfairly. When we don’t have good jobs that can support us we are forced back into their arms. Like it used to be. Marrying them when they repulsed us just so we could stay off the streets.
Well the thing to do is for good men and women to hire and stand up for each other at work. There’s no other way. You’re never going to be able to prove your resume wasn’t considered just because you are female and it’s going to happen. It’s already happening. I was ordered not to hire a woman for a tech position. I refused saying it was illegal and my boss laughed and said only if I get caught. Then he tried to fire me. Another man at work said he wont hire any women of child bearing age. Out loud he said that.
Good people better smarten up and stick together like men do. Things are getting ugly and the only way you can stay strong is if you have allies. If as Elam says, we are at war, then who better to learn how to stay strong and protected than the boys club.
@ David,
He neither explicitly nor implicitly mentions murder or violence in that statement. Getting “what they deserve” could mean all kinds of non-violent things and you know it. Examples off the top of my head might be, say a conviction for libel and consequently losing the trust of their followers (that is what I think you deserve for example). Or, if not a conviction, at least have your followers see the dishonesty in your interpretations and therefore no longer take you as their source of information on the subject as many do unfortunately. Perhaps, what happened to that Hugo Schwyzer was a good example. With the exception of a few devoted morons, he’s lost his credibility. For all practical purposes, he’s permanently “gone away” from the gender discourse.
Since Paul doesn’t suggest what you claim he suggested, at best you can claim to suspect what he’s really suggesting. The only honest and decent thing to do would be to either make that clear in your statement or just bloody well ask him what he means by “what they deserve”. Have you even considered that? Course not. That might make things better which you don’t want since your blog needs things to be bad in order to justify its existence.
Imagine the world is effectively freed of misogyny. As far as people like you are concerned nothing changes. Like hell would you sit back, retire and say “mission accomplished, I’m not needed anymore”. No, you’ll just find ever more abstruse ways to interpret things as misogynist. Just as a world in which women have any imaginable unfairness removed would have as many feminists calling out discrimination as ever. That’s their livelihood and they will never give it up. If the goal really is removing discrimination then feminism should aim to make itself redundant and feminists should at least be prepared for the possibility of success and that means one day not being a feminist anymore. In other words, if you cannot imagine not being a feminist, then you probably don’t want to achieve the stated feminist goals.
Something to think about….sigh … as if anyone will. Waste of time even bothering. Well, now that I’ve typed it all out I may as well post it.
Repeating people’s own horrible words is soooo libelous. And applying even the most obvious interpretation to those words? DOUBLE LIBEL.
Why do all our trolls have to play stupid these days?
How do you figure “if these people actually got what they deserved the problem would be solved, but at the expense of the very values and principles we are trying to promote” describes someone losing the trust of their followers?
“I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME” –soooo abstruse. I mean, sure, you can interpret misogyny into that, but don’t you think it’s a stretch?
Actually, if women do gain respect and equality from everyone, I’ll still believe women deserve respect and equality. It’ll be less work, yeah, but… do you even understand what the word “feminist” means?
Oh hey, look, it’s another Roberta. We’ve provided violent quotes from him in previous threads; go back and find them yourself. Something to think about….sigh…as if you will. Waste of time even bothering.
Oh this is cute. Do you think we’re post-race too, or ‘almost there’?
This must be one of those little mediocrities who imagines that the marginalized enjoy it.
Holly, our trolls aren’t playing stupid, it’s more of a lifestyle choice at this point.
Yo, John:
They don’t.
I’m pissed that there’s a list of evil blogs and I’m not on it.
I’ll have to try harder.
And there comes the bullying baboon troop complete with the usual name calling and labeling. That’s all you morons can do when confronted with the truth that exposes the dishonesty of your chief baboon. Pathetic attempts to divert the attention away from the subject at hand or just lying your way out of it by claiming that chief baboon was “repeating the words” of Paul Elam, all go to prove that this is an intellectually incestuous hate forum just waiting to pounce on and bully anything into silence that threatens its members’ pathetically inadequate egos.
Futrelle has been caught lying and distorting. There are no ifs and buts about it. I attempted to confront him reasonably but thanks to the baboon troop, the truth has been effectively suppressed – so you think.
Since name calling and bullying is all I got from you cowards, now I definitely can’t expect anything worth my attention. So I depart. By all means keep going with your mutual shoulder patting and self-congratulatory emotional masturbation at the expense of the truth.
“I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME”
So, would you like to claim:
A) That Paul Elam never said this
B) That Paul Elam said this in a spirit of equality and nonviolence
C) That YOU’RE ALL MEAN MEANIES I’M LEAVING
I see you’ve chosen C. Excellent choice. The other two can go some very embarrassing places.
P.S.: Don’t accuse people of “name calling” while calling them baboons. That’s one of them embarrassing things.
Adi: I’ve read it (and more by him besides). I don’t think the deniability is as plausible as you imply. What does one do to vermin? One gets rid of them. How does one get rid of them?
It’s not moving them to somewhere else. It’s exterminating them.
It’s not twisting his words to take the implicit course of action they imply, as being the intent.
say a conviction for libel and consequently losing the trust of their followers (that is what I think you deserve for example).
Good luck with that. Words have meanings. Word choice has implicit implication, and Times v Sullivan pretty much immunises Dave, and me and anyone else who wants to address the meaning of Elam’s words, even if we were wrong (good luck proving that to a judge, and I guarantee you, the intelligent target of such a lawsuit will; should it avoid being dismissed out of hand, take a judge over a jury, because the law is plain), the case would fail on it’s merits.
So yeah, if I were Dave, I’d welcome the suit, because it would cost whomever tried to bring a ton of money and they’d end up like Daivid Irving.
The only honest and decent thing to do would be to either make that clear in your statement or just bloody well ask him what he means by “what they deserve”
How stupid do you think we are? If Elam’s schtick is (and it is) the, “Plausibly deniable threat”, why is he going to admit to it? Has Dave considered it? He went so far as to attempt a debate with Elam. Elam was no more honest there, then you are being here. Why would he confess? It would make him look worse than he does. Has Elam ever thought to avoid the risk that the summa of his words might be mistaken; from their tone, and actively denounced violence? No. Why not? Because he is actually advocating violence. He has, repeatedly called for violence. In that context the use of “vermin” co-joined to, “get what they deserve” is pretty plainly not benign. Saying so is not twisting his words.
Imagine the world is effectively freed of misogyny. As far as people like you are concerned nothing changes. Like hell would you sit back, retire and say “mission accomplished, I’m not needed anymore”. No, you’ll just find ever more abstruse ways to interpret things as misogynist.
Now, now. Where have we said such a thing? It’s a bit dishonest of you to make such a sweeping statement when nothing has been said? Where is the close reading of the text you demand of those who disagree with you, when they are looking at the words of a Paul Elam?
See ya Adi, don’t let the door smack you on the way out, because sometimes unfortunate things happen to out trolls and they don’t usually return.
And by that I mean you might be convicted for libel or something. 😛
If Elam is at all guarded or conservative in his hatred for feminists and women, his followers are no such thing. They happily explicitly call for violence and so forth. Maybe Elam is considered a moderate because, in relation to his followers, he is. O_O
Hey Adi, Paul Elam’s shit is out there for anyone with half a brain to read. The problem with you and your ilk is that you’re painfully literal, cannot read for comprehension, and don’t seem to realize that this site mocks you all. Maybe you do on some level understand that last, and it makes you even dumber.
Buh-bye now.
Adi: And there comes the bullying baboon troop complete with the usual name calling and labeling.
Do listen to yourself? Because that’s not an argument.
That’s all you morons can do when confronted with the truth that exposes the dishonesty of your chief baboon. Pathetic attempts to divert the attention away from the subject at hand or just lying your way out of it by claiming that chief baboon was “repeating the words” of Paul Elam,
So you don’t read the respones. Because there are actual arguments, at least one relevant legal citation, and references to other things Elam has done, and said. All of which are about the subject at hand (Paul Elam), or the conversation here (you misrepresenting what the plain meaning of Elam’s words are, and the context in which they exist).
Futrelle has been caught lying and distorting. There are no ifs and buts about it
You have been seen spouting denialist phrases, and pretending Elam’s words aren’t what they are; implying no reasonable person could see them the way they were seen.
There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. You are wrong, in your first allegation, and the subsequent charges, being based on that mistake, are no more correct, nor honest, than the first.
Since name calling and bullying is all I got from you cowards,
Which is a lie, but if it salves your ego to think you, “spoke truth to power”, enjoy,
Just remember that what you wrote is still here and anyone who wants to read it, can see what actually happened, no matter how much you try to divert attention from the words of your, “chief baboon” and the context in which Elam speaks.