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Rush Limbaugh offers a gracious apology for his comments on Sandra Fluke. Scratch “gracious.” And “apology.”

Rush Limbaugh wonders momentarily if he is a complete tool, concludes that he isn't.

Hey, everybody! Rush Limbaugh has issued a gracious apology for his attacks on Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown law student who testified before congress on the costs of birth control. Here it is:

For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

After a long paragraph in which he basically repeats his original argument about birth control, such as it was, this time without directly referencing Fluke, he continues:

My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.

Uh, “I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation???”

“My choice of words was not the best??”

Here’s what he originally said:

So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis, here’s the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex. We want something for it. … We want you post the videos online so we can all watch.

He also called her a “prostitute.”

So let me rewrite that for you, with some nicer words this time:

So my dearest Miss Fluke, and the rest of those who share a love of feminism and the tenets of National Socialism, I would like to present to you a most intriguing proposition: If we are called upon to help finance your purchase of medical treatment and/or various and sundry items designed to prevent pregnancy, and thus to provide financial support to you as you make sweet, tender non-procreative love with your beloved, we humbly request something in return for our investment. To wit, we would like you to memorialize your lovemaking in video format, and for you to graciously place this video tribute on the Internet so we may share in the pleasure of enjoying these tender moments.

Oh, and instead of “prostitute,” why not refer to her as a “courtesan?”

Yeah, that’s not really any better. (And for some reason you still think taxpayers are paying for birth control, when in fact the issue is insurance coverage.)

In an attempt to be humorous, I would like to suggest to you, Mr. Limbaugh, that you stuff your apology up your ass, you worthless piece of shit.

I do not, of course, mean that as a personal attack.

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pillowinhell
9 years ago

Also, NWO, your solution of let them starve is unsatisfactory as well. Do you propose to eat yearlings? Jonathan Swift made some excellent points for it.

ozymandias42
ozymandias42
9 years ago

So your choice, Owlyslave, is that poor women should never have sex, and that if they have sex their children should starve?

Well, uh. I’d love to say it was a surprise, but.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

But since women’s bodies are our sexuality, and some of those poor women may be conventionally attractive, what happens when they inadvertently arouse some random guy?
Obviously they can’t have sex with him, since they can’t afford birth control, but as Slavey has informed us in the past that would make them evil bitches. So I guess they just shouldn’t ever leave the house?

Magpie
9 years ago

If aspirin really was a contraceptive, they wouldn’t talk about banning it, because they use it too.

BoggiDWurms
9 years ago

And what is it with women and their love of big government?

You do realize the founders of libertarianism were women, right?

Rose Wilder Lane
Isabel Patterson
Ayn Rand

Last time I checked, libertarianism meant NO GOVERNMENT.

MRAs have a certain illogic so twisted it boggles the mind just trying to unravel it to find out exactly how it doesn’t make any sense. Reading MRA posts and watching MRA videos is like watching VenomfangX videos.

BoggiDWurms
9 years ago

Limbaugh’s fauxpology might have been slightly less pathetic if it hadn’t come at the end of three solid days of publicly smearing a private citizen for nothing more than a) testifying before Congress about health-care coverage and b) being recognizably female.

On Day Three, he mocked her for receiving a phone call of support from the President, making smarmy comments and kissy-kissy noises in what might be the most embarrassing display of transparent personal jealousy ever broadcast over the radio.

Frankly, I see this as my cue to keep pushing and get the sad little creep off the airwaves permanently. How is he still around, anyway?

B-but Shaenon, don’t you know women are nothing more than spoiled princesses who get whatever they want and are always pardoned for their mistakes? You aren’t suggesting women actually have to put up with discrimination, do you? My small MRA brain just can’t take it! There is so sexism against women! EVER!

/has been recently watching a lot of Daria on DVD lately. Translation: sarcasm.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

So your choice, Owlyslave, is that poor women should never have sex, and that if they have sex their children should starve?

Well, uh. I’d love to say it was a surprise, but.

That’s the only thing that surprises me about all these “women should be forced to have children as punishment for having sex” types. They have absolutely no issue with sacrificing the health and well-being of kids in order to punish those dirty dirty women. Hey misogynists: some of those kids are boys!

I guess if they wanted to be able to eat regularly, they would have had the good sense to have been born to rich people, right?

Magpie
9 years ago

yep, they don’t count kids as people.

darksidecat
9 years ago

One of the most hilarious things about red scare panics is how utterly disconnected they are from reality. There are no self proclaimed communist nations who have made great economic advances or great health care advances in the past few decades? Really, I’m sure the Chinese and Cubans would be shocked to hear about those things. Even if you are accepting post-Mao “Maoist” idealogy and Stalinism as true communism/socialism (which a pretty large share of Marxists would not), it’s still not true that all of those countries have failed either. I can find more than one example of a capitalist country that suffered economic collapse or was taken over, but somehow all they ever have is that the Soviet Union didn’t work out, that’s it, that’s their proof that all Stalinist, or even more hilariously Maoist, countries are doomed.

Socialism drains everyones personal wealth until there’s just a handful of the same old banker at the top and all the ghetto dwellers at the bottom.

That’s wrong by definition. Any system that is working this way is by definition failing at the task of socialism (esp. communism). The idea of wealthy communist bankers is more than a little amusing though, it’s like short giants or something.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

@DSC

always did find it hilarious that the commie scare of the 50s is now the current socialist scare.

I have not read this yet but it looks like a good read http://www.pfaw.org/rww-in-focus/rise-of-the-new-mccarthyism-how-right-wing-extremists-try-to-paralyze-government-throug#communism

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

I’m kinda tired of the “I don’t want my tax dollars funding XYZ! It’s insulting to force me to pay for XYZ!”

You know what? Chances are high you specifically won’t be paying for it. Nobody tracks every penny of tax you pay, it all gets lumped to a big pool to be spent by the government. Your money is another step removed when your money could possibly be payed to an organization which then may spend it on something.

Yes, citizens should have a say in how tax money is used, but it is actually more “government should spend that money wisely” not “I am personally outraged at the $.000000001 that I and every other citizen are being forced to pay.”

Chances are, in fact, that if everyone could choose how their personal money was spent, there would be enough progressives out there that whatever money went towards abortion/contraception/etc would be covered by them, and you could happily put yours towards ND or something…

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

* are being forced to pay on average

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Actually that is an excellent question.

Hey, NWO, how do you think your personal contribution to the tax system should be spent? What are you OK with funding/subsidising?

Magpie
9 years ago

Like when people objected to their taxes going to fund the ABC, and the ABC did an advertising campaign with the slogan “your 8c a day”. Wonder what that would look like with health care “your X cents a day”. 🙂

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

@Cassandra

Legislation that forces all women to beat the crap out of each other each month probably. We all know his obsession with women shedding blood for men and all that.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

@ Quackers

Maybe we can do it during our periods as a sort of apology to men for menstruating at them.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

Silly Cassandra don’t you know menstruation is just an evil feminazi plot to kill eggs that could eventually become a real babby?!

valerienorth
valerienorth
9 years ago

Next time I have to pay for another fucking sport stadium in my city so dudes can impress one another, I’ll send Rush the bill.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Even though this isn’t about tax dollars, I’m a woman and I pay goddamn taxes. I’m pretty sick of the whole “we mustn’t spend men’s tax money on women” thing. (Gosh, and I thought the wage gap was a myth… suddenly when we come to who pays more taxes, MRAs are happy to acknowledge it!)

Really, we spend so much of the tax money collected from private citizens on corporations, if you’re worried about “wealth redistribution,” women’s healthcare is not the place to start.

Not that it matters, because this isn’t about tax dollars. It’s about women who already pay for healthcare getting contraception included in the package that they’re paying for, the same way other preventative healthcare is included.

BoggiDWurms
9 years ago

I’m kinda tired of the “I don’t want my tax dollars funding XYZ! It’s insulting to force me to pay for XYZ!”

Because spending a small amount of your earnings on other people who may really need it is such a communist thing to do!

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

Seriously…here technically all taxpayers DO pay for birth control (and all other healthcare). You don’t even have to pay the standard prescription charge (£7.20, or $11, unless you’re old or a kid or don’t have a job or you have a disability or so on). It’s all free. And I’ve never heard anyone complain about it other than, like, extreme Catholics.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
9 years ago

I sometimes wish that taxes were more directly tied to specific spending-it tends to make people more willing to vote for it.

That’s the only thing that surprises me about all these “women should be forced to have children as punishment for having sex” types.

I had a Facebook argument with one of these types…he swore up and down he thought children were a blessing but used this phrase when talking about Ms Fluke: “presumptively so she can get laid without worrying about consequences.”

As soon as you say that, it stops being about anything less then punishing women for having sex by making them have a child.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Just the personalizing of all these attacks is weirding me out. Fluke wasn’t speaking about her own sex life. She wasn’t asking for contraceptives specifically for herself.

I’m having trouble imagining a man who spoke in favor of defense spending getting broadly described in the media as “the murderer who wants Congress to give him money to kill people.”

Kyso K.
9 years ago

had a Facebook argument with one of these types…he swore up and down he thought children were a blessing but used this phrase when talking about Ms Fluke: “presumptively so she can get laid without worrying about consequences.”

Same here. There’s a certain frothing-at-the-mouth quality about those who just keep hammering on consequences, consequences, consequences. Taking responsibility for your reproductive health isn’t enough, if you think you deserve it, you have to be willing to pay for it in some arbitrary way. Life’s a bitch and there are still consequences to spare left for men or women who make poor choices, sexual or otherwise. But that’s never enough for some people. They have this idea that young, sexy women are behaving badly, and they want to see blood. I like to ask why the punishment of some hypothetical Coed McTramp is so important as to sacrifice the health and happiness of all the other women in the world? What makes her comeuppance so much more vital than any other consideration? Sometimes it makes the frother pause but mostly not.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Here’s something I don’t get about Rush: How is he so ignorant about how hormonal BC works? A bunch of people have pointed out how hypocritical it is for a four-times-married man with no children to bluster on about how he thinks women who need access to birth control are sluts. I want to know how a four-times-married man with no children never learned that the amount of hormonal BC that you take does not vary by how much sex you’re having. Did he never talk to any of his sexual partners about birth control? Did he just assume the woman would handle it? Did the women he was with have no problems with that arrangement?

I have spoken in-depth about The Pill with every man I’ve ever been with. Me and my boyfriend talk about my birth control lots. We talk about any conflicting medication I might be prescribed, we talk about if/when I plan to take a week off pills, I talk about it if there’s a day when I forget and take it a couple hours late, he asks how many packs I have in the house and whether or not he could give me a ride to the pharmacy. I mean, we don’t rant on and on about it obsessively, but it plays a major role in a) my health and b) our relationship, so it definitely comes up on a regular basis. There’s no way he could be ignorant about the use of hormonal BC by this point in our relationship even if he didn’t have a good understanding of it when we got together (which he did, of course). I don’t understand how Rush could possibly know so little about it.

A cynical part of me wonders if he knows how The Pill is used, but pretends he doesn’t because it gets in the way of his slut-shaming.

kiki
kiki
9 years ago

An oldie but a goodie:

Fair bit of fattism in the lyrics, but fuck it, it’s Rush.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

@kiki:

So problematic… but dammit it was well done.

Joanna
9 years ago

@NWO: So the solution to all of your life’s problems is if no one has any sex ever?

Does Rush still not know that the Pill is beneficial to women’s reproductive health, or is he still on the “one Pill per fuck” mentality? Do your research you ignorant ass!

no more mr nice guy
9 years ago

@Viscaria :

Here’s something I don’t get about Rush: How is he so ignorant about how hormonal BC works? A bunch of people have pointed out how hypocritical it is for a four-times-married man with no children to bluster on about how he thinks women who need access to birth control are sluts. I want to know how a four-times-married man with no children never learned that the amount of hormonal BC that you take does not vary by how much sex you’re having. Did he never talk to any of his sexual partners about birth control? Did he just assume the woman would handle it? Did the women he was with have no problems with that arrangement?

Some people think he has very little heterosexual experience and he’s a closeted gay. He’s like Roissy/Heartiste or other MRAs when they talk about contraception – and these guys are probably closeted gay

http://www.berthoudrecorder.com/2012/03/03/is-rush-limbaugh-gay/

.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Could we not do that thing where we randomly decide that conservative people who piss us off are gay, please? Not only does Team Queer not want Limbaugh, there’s something awfully homophobic about the whole process whereby this sort of faux-outing is framed as an accusation. It’s not a queer-friendly social narrative at all.

Jeremy
9 years ago

I disagree with the “worthless piece of shit” comment. I mean, come on now! Just a piece?? He’s a big steaming pile of shit!

AbsintheDexterous
9 years ago

I really, really hate the “sex without consequences” argument, mostly because it only makes sense if you think all sex should result in a pregnancy. Many, many people who do not use birth control don’t always get pregnant when they have sex. For instance, off the top of my head: lesbians, women who have been through menopause, women who are sterile/have fertility problems, transgender women, gay guys. I’m sure I’m missing a few other groups of people in there. I’ve had unprotected PIV sex before and not gotten pregnant. Would they say that heterosexual couples who are into anal as “having sex without consequences”?

Plus, using birth control is an action, and the consequence is pregnancy-free sex. I see nothing wrong with this. Too bad that apparently a lot of other people do, because sex is just plain fun. Of course, I think of sex as a wholesome fun activity rather than something anyone needs to be ashamed of.

Buttman
Buttman
9 years ago

Nothing he said was incorrect. If she wants other people to pay for her recreational sexual activities then she is a prostitute. Rush is only apologizing due to the Alinsky tactics used against him. They bully advertisers into dropping their ads. The Marxist-leftists HATE HATE HATE free speech.

This is just part of the Democrat party being divisive. They like to claim that Republicans are but it’s the Democrats who are divisive. I saw that they were raising money on this by calling it a “war on women” and I about spit out my Dr. Pepper. “War on women”… LOLZ go look at a list of the REAL war casualties. Go look at the list of casualties in industrial accidents. Go look at the life expectancy difference. I wonder how someone can call this a “war on women” and not the be least bit embarrassed or ashamed.

No personal accountability. No responsibility. No consequences. That’s what WOMEN want. Apparently spending only 75% of health care resources on women is a “war”.

Starskita
Starskita
9 years ago

@AbsintheDextrous.

I second all this.

From the perspective of someone who is failing to get pregnant through unprotected PIV sex, it’s just doubly bad to try to force people who don’t want to have children to do so, since it means they’re all (hypothetically) having kids they don’t want, whereas I can’t have the one(s) I do want.

Birth control is good for children. It makes them more likely to have a family that can take care of them physically and emotionally. (nothing guaranteed, but it helps)

Rant about anti-socialists: As someone who would have literally died at age 14 without massive surgery and hospitalization, when people say health insurance is bad because they have to pay for people who don’t contribute, I hear “you should have died.” When presenting this argument, it turns out that some of them actually mean that. I think they are bad people.

Erl
Erl
9 years ago

I’m sure I’m missing a few other groups of people in there.

Most notably for understanding the whole matter, there is a massive group that never gets pregnant from sex: men.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

@AbsintheDextrous:

Would they say that heterosexual couples who are into anal as “having sex without consequences”?

Wouldn’t surprise me.

I googled the question “why should sex be saved for marriage?” What I got back was, roughly:

– Sex is super-duper awesome splendor beautiful magic, so only do it with one person
– You get to avoid all of the guilt that is instilled in you by your upbringing telling you that sex is actually terrible
– You can avoid terrible disease, and pregnancy, which contraception only does a teeny-tiny bit to help mitigate

So, sex is bad because sex is bad, but actually sex is good (in fact, the best thing ever). Having more sex is bad because it can cause more disease, but don’t use contraception/protection because that will lead to more sex and sex is bad. Talk about mixed messages and circular reasoning…

I’m having a really hard time getting words out on all of this… You say sex before marriage leads to less intimacy and more divorce? If people weren’t marrying so that they’d have permission from their social sphere to have sex, they wouldn’t be divorcing each other once they realized that it isn’t the super amazing awesome spectacular thing they were told it was (after the first month or so anyway). You say that sex is dangerous and you might catch something or accidentally make a baby? That’s what contraception is for! You say that you shouldn’t use contraception because it makes sex consequence free? Why is it that sex needs to have consequences? Because sex is bad?! No wait, it’s actually good, but it will be less good if you have more, so don’t have any? *pulls hair out*

ozymandias42
ozymandias42
9 years ago

Cis men.

2-D Man
2-D Man
9 years ago

Most notably for understanding the whole matter, there is a massive group that never gets pregnant from sex: men.

Point of clarification: cis men. It’s still a massive group, of course.

2-D Man
2-D Man
9 years ago

ninja’d

burgundy
burgundy
9 years ago

I was just thinking… anyone who’s paying attention and knows how stuff works knows that this is not about Your Tax Money going to pay for slutty sluts to slut it up. But let’s flip it around for a moment, and address it on their terms.

I work for the government (cue shrieking and wailing.) I am not on hormonal birth control, but I do use condoms, which are relatively cost-proportional to the amount of sex one has (or plans/hopes to have). Because I am a slutty slut who sluts, in the past 12 months I have had close personal experience with four different condom-encased penises (although, to be fair, in many cases those were not condoms I had paid for. But still.) I hope, in the relatively near future, to increase that count to five. Everyone who pays sales tax or property tax within the jurisdiction I work for (which is basically everyone who lives here) is, in some sense, contributing to my salary. Which I use to pay for condoms (among other things). So there are several hundred thousand tax payers who are, in fact, paying for me to have sex.

And what I would like to know is, what’s the big deal? What do you propose to do about it? Should our annual citizen survey, which we use to gauge resident satisfaction with things like road quality and public safety, include a section in which people can weigh in on what I and my fellow employees can use our money on? Should it be up for a public vote whether I should be allowed to pay more money for organic vegetables, or whether I have to select my clothes based on where they were made, in order for taxpayers not to indirectly fund sweatshop labor?

The thing about my salary is that I earn it, with my labor, and upon doing so it becomes mine. Once that initial transaction – my labor for the government’s money – is complete, it stops being the government’s (and thus the taxpayers’) money. And the same goes for my insurance, which is another form of compensation for my labor (I am very fortunate in that I do not pay toward my premiums, but it’s still part of the payment I receive for my work.) If I were on hormonal bc, it wouldn’t be the taxpayers paying for it, it would be me paying for it, because I earned it, it’s mine, I paid for it with my work.

It’s like people are so obsessed with the idea of controlling women, they forget how money actually works. Maybe this is what happens when you say that a woman’s vagina is equivalent to a man’s wallet?

cendare
9 years ago

OwnSlave, I hear you! In fact:
– Why should I have to pay for other people’s lung cancer? They made the choice to smoke, or work in the coal mine, or heat with wood stoves, or be born to people who smoked, or…
– Why should I have to pay for other people’s tooth care? They made the choice to eat sweets, or drink soda, or not drink enough milk as children, or have kids themselves, or…
– Why should I have to pay for other people’s car accidents? They were the bad drivers, or else they were hit by bad drivers, or…

Screw insurance! Everyone pay for themselves for everything! Society doesn’t need healthy people! Epidemics of disease are just fine by me! Aaaaah!

2-D Man
2-D Man
9 years ago

Rant about anti-socialists: As someone who would have literally died at age 14 without massive surgery and hospitalization, when people say health insurance is bad because they have to pay for people who don’t contribute, I hear “you should have died.” When presenting this argument, it turns out that some of them actually mean that. I think they are bad people.

Yes! Definitely. Last year, I went about six months unemployed. When I finally got a job, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. Five weeks into that job, I fell off a ladder and dislocated my left shoulder. Thanks to Canada’s health system, I was in a hospital for three days, and the irregularities that showed up in my spine on the CT scan were checked with an MRI. It turned out to not be necessary, but if I had to consider the costs myself, given that I had no money from being unemployed for so long, I would have had to risk paralysis. Now I’m looking for a job that I actually do want, where I can put my engineering degree to good use. Socializing health care and education are not costs, they’re investments.

2-D Man
2-D Man
9 years ago

Also, Starskita, I’m sorry to hear about your troubles.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Leave it to NWO to not know how communism works or doesn’t work. Time to update those encyclopedias, Slaveboy.

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

Let’s try talking a little slower NWO.

SHE IS NOT ASKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO PAY FOR HER BC. SHE WANTS HER INSURANCE COMPANY TO INCLUDE HER BC IN HER INSURANCE PLAN, THAT SHE PAYS FOR.

Now, if this is still too *brrrrr* socialist for you, then I’m sure you are also in favor of removing viagra and vasectomies from the coverage because you are outraged that women should pay just so that some man can fuck without consequences, or even fuck at all.

Halite
9 years ago

Socializing health care and education are not costs, they’re investments.

Word.

@nwoslave: watch how this works:

Canadian Gov’t:
– gives my parents a little bit of money each month for each one of their kids
– pays for my mom’s LIVE SAVING cancer treatments
– pays for surgery to correct my life threatening birth defect, and to rehabilitate me after surgery
– gives my parent’s kids money to go to school
– gives my dad EI when he gets laid off

My Family:
– pays taxes
– pays into EI
– paid back all their student loans plus the interest
– has four University-educated children
– who all have much higher paying jobs than my parents ever dreamed of
– pay way more taxes than the average Canadian, thanks to our increased incomes

Thus, the government *invested* in my family, gave them loads of assistance and money and incentive to become more productive citizens, and therefor makes even more money off us than if they had let my mother die of cancer, or let my family go broke during the recession or me choke to death as an infant due to my birth defect.

Socialism is alive and kicking up here in the Great White North because it *works*.

SOCIALISM. SOCIALISM. OOOGA BOOGA, nwoslave SOCIALISM!! IT’S RIGHT ABOVE YOU! ENJOY YOUR SOCIALIST HAT!

captainbathrobe
9 years ago

See, Slavey, what you call “socialism” is what the rest of us call “not being an asshole.”

captainbathrobe
9 years ago

Fucking social contract, how does it work?

no more mr nice guy
9 years ago

@CassandraSays :

Could we not do that thing where we randomly decide that conservative people who piss us off are gay, please? Not only does Team Queer not want Limbaugh, there’s something awfully homophobic about the whole process whereby this sort of faux-outing is framed as an accusation. It’s not a queer-friendly social narrative at all.

Nobody say that Rush Limbaugh is just gay. People say he’s closeted gay and it’s been proven by a few studies that many homophobic men are closeted gay :

Men display more homophobic attitudes when feeling insecure about their masculinity

And there is a 1996 University of Georgia experiment that proves some homophobes are closeted gays.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Nobody say that Rush Limbaugh is just gay. People say he’s closeted gay and it’s been proven by a few studies that many homophobic men are closeted gay :

And some homophobic men are straight–so what? Does that mean their homophobia is more legitimate?

The whole “a yucky person must be gay” thing trades in homophobia. Limbaugh’s sexuality is completely irrelevant to this. He’s a bad straight person or a bad gay person and I don’t care, he’s a bad person.