The A(n)nals of Online Dating blog manages to unearth some astoundingly awful and creepy online dating profiles. Looking around on the site’s archives the other day, I came across one profile that reminded me of so many discussions here I felt I needed to share it with you. Here’s some unnamed OKCupid dude explaining just what he looks for in a woman.
He starts off almost reasonably:
Message me if you are intelligent and can hold chopsticks and are not racist.
Ok, that’s a little confrontational, and the bit about chopsticks is odd, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting your date to be smart and not a bigot.
It’s at this point he careens off the road:
Also message me if you can understand that a WOMAN’S vagina is like a MAN’S money.
Go on.
Meaning if we are NOT dating and if I do not KNOW who you are, you will have to be able to provide for yourself.
Are there really a lot of women on dating sites that expect men they don’t know to pay their rent or electric bills?
I am not going to give a little unless you can give a little.
Ah, the transactional model of dating. What’s the over/under on this guy also being a raving Ron Paul fan?
Most women dont want to feel like a whore by giving it up on the first night and dont want to be used just for sex. They also dont want to give it up and then be afraid the man will leave. Thats the SAME way I FEEL about spending my hard earned money on you.
Because women don’t want to feel like whores, you’re going to treat them exactly like whores, by equating vaginas and money?
A lot of women in this town dont follow through with anything they say and a lot of them have A LOT of insecurities along with expecting a guy to buy them food and drinks and then completely walk over them.
By “walk[ing] over them” I presume he means that the women are not having sex with every guy who buys them a dinner while explaining at length about how vaginas and money are the same thing and why Ron Paul is the only hope for our nation.
I dont play that and I’ve dated a few women who are gorgeous who happen to understand what I am talking about.
So why the OkCupid profile? I guess these gorgeous women must not be returning his calls any more.
So if you u understand that my money and time is just as valuable as your body, then we’ll be in agreement to not share anything until there is an understanding.
You’ll need to sign the “sex for dinner” contract here and here, and initial here. And you’re ready to go!
Oh, and if you fellas here (of the heterosexual persuasion) are feeling a little left out, remember, there are some terrible, terrible women out there in online dating land for you as well.
If you like prescription drugs, weird bird feet, and fistfights with jealous Juggalo ex-boyfriends, send this little lady a note.
EDITED TO ADD: Holly Pervocracy has a great post on the wrongness of the vaginas = money equation here.
@CassandraSays
TGMP/Acronym Lady is The Good Man Project. He’s using some sort of weird metaphor.
…So glad people have started a train from my comment. 😀
AntZ’s gibberish isn’t even fun, it’s just…blah.
@Quackers: I also wish there was an easy way for women to detect which guys don’t have a madonna/whore complex and/or aren’t selfish lovers. I think it would get me more lovers. 😉
@ Shadow
See? Why can’t he speak a normal, non-acronymed dialect?
Quackers – I think you can tell, a bit, which guys have a Madonna/whore complex. It requires spending a bit of time around them pre-sex to figure it out, though.
@CassandraSays
Do you have any special or common tricks with this? Never had to make the distinction myself.
So, if a woman’s vagina is money, and I’m on my period, does that make my vagina blood money?
@ Shadow
Basically I just tend to encourage people I’m thinking about hooking up with to talk about previous sexual partners, and see how they describe them and how hostile/friendly or warm/cold their attitude is. If they tend to express hostility or coldness towards previous sexual partners, and if they use any slut shaming language at all, I’m not going to have sex with them. Not worth the risk of them repeating the pattern.
One of the earliest red flags for my seriously-bad-news ex was the uniformly negative descriptions he had of all of his former girlfriends and sexual partners.
Antz isn’t worried about ending up with Sweden because he’s deluded. He thinks the reason Sweden is the way it is is because they let women do things. When he redivides teh world (along the Mississippi, which will become the new Prime Meridian), all the men will be on one side.
No women, no Sweden.
Ever since I’ve started telling my potential partners I have a sex blog and attend BDSM parties, I’ve found out right quick which one of them had Madonna/whore issues.
The ones who just go “whoa, not for me, can’t handle that” aren’t so bad. The ones who go “so that means you’ll do everything I want sexually without asking me for any of that ‘respect’ nonsense” are peskier.
0_o
Yeah, any time someone is of the belief that all their exes are evil you have to go, well, that’s statistically unlikely, but what’s the common denominator in all of those relationships that ended badly?
I didn’t catch on until too late that my last ex always thinks all his exes were terrible but this girlfriend is the perfect one who will change everything and save his life.
He’s on like the tenth round of this “I’ve finally found The One!” cycle. It’s quite remarkable.
>>>Yeah, any time someone is of the belief that all their exes are evil you have to go, well, that’s statistically unlikely, but what’s the common denominator in all of those relationships that ended badly?
Truth. The best possible interpretation of this fact is that that guy has terrible, terrible filtering algorithms when it comes to choosing women. So best case scenario here is that the guy is probably choosing you for all the wrong reasons. Worst case, more plausible scenario is that he hates women, except the one that’s currently giving him sexual release.
Re: TGMP: The only thing MRAs and I will ever agree on is that Huge Schywzer is an asshole.
Schwyzer*…I think.
@ Holly and BlackBloc
With a lot of MRAs I get that feeling. Obviously a huge part of their issue is misogyny, but also…why do you guys keep dating such awful women? Why didn’t you learn after the first couple of times not to get involved with people like that? Why are you incapable of reading the giant blinking neon warning signs that surely must be visible to everyone else?
Granted that I think that they’re making a lot of the stuff about their evil exes up, but I also suspect that a lot of them have terrible, terrible taste in romantic partners and no common sense or filtering system at all.
Crumbelievable – Nope. Now that more and more feminists are fed up with Hugo, the MRAs have been writing lots of “man cast our of feminist movement just for being a man, poor persecuted darling, this is why men shouldn’t bother even trying to help” articles. They’re very sympathetic to him, now that they can play the “you hate him because he’s a man!” card.
I honestly don’t know if my ex’s “I’ve finally fallen in love! Let’s plan to move in together and get a dog and get married and have children and it’ll be great!” at 2 months into our relationship was something he’d done with others or just with me. I’m also not sure if it was sincere, or just another way to control me. Either way, though, I’m pretty sure the story he tells about our relationship is no longer about the first person he could truly love, and is now about that crazy, clingy chick who had the unhealthily close relationship to her mother. Shrug. Hopefully the next few women will hear the Litany of Bad Girlfriends/Sex Partners and be warned off.
CassandraSays – Actually, I don’t think it’s necessarily a case of “awful women” so much as “awful relationships.”
If you handle your shit incompetently/maliciously enough, every partner will seem to be evil and irrational to you.
A simple example: my ex would call me every day. Then he suddenly stopped calling and I didn’t hear anything for a week. I left a few messages, then freaked out and called him like five times in an row just to make sure he wasn’t dead or in jail or something. Then he yelled at me for being a crazy clingy woman who would call a person five times.
Well, he’s not lying. I did call him way more than a reasonable person would, and I did do it out of “crazy” panicky anxiety. But the way I was set up for my “craziness” was also entirely fucked up.
I feel like stuff like this is responsible for a lot of “terrible ex” stories–it’s not made up, but it’s the result of a two-way dysfunction, not just randomly running into terrible irrational women. Some terrible irrational women are born, but others are made.
Almost any time I look at the comments on an MRA blog (never a good idea), I see posts from Zarat, since this is apparently his entire life. The amazing thing is, his MRA posts are much, much more misogynistic than his posts here. They’re just straight-up old-school chicks-suck griping.
Which means that what you see here is his idea of moderate, women-friendly conversation. Amazing, isn’t it?
@ Holly
That does make sense. I still think that with a lot of the money stuff they wank on about, that’s definitely a result of not choosing your partners wisely. Like, every single woman you’ve dated has expected you to constantly buy her stuff and pay her bills? Either you’re imagining it or you have terrible, awful taste in women.
CassandraSays – I think that one’s about 50% due to the self-selection of women who stick around after hearing a guy declare he thinks a relationship is an exchange of sex for money.
And about 50% guys who are so terrified of being milked for money that they start screaming “GOLD-DIGGER!!!” when a woman casually asks if she can borrow $10 for smokes.
While I agree with the general advice that it is wise to be leery of someone who claims their exes were all evil, I feel like a caveat should maybe be added to the effect of “obviously, the actual nature of the evil matters here.” There’s an important difference between “Unfortunately, both of the people I’ve dated seriously so far seemed nice at first but later turned abusive towards me” and “Ugh, all my exes were CRAZY BITCHES in unspecified but totally CRAZY BITCHY ways. But I’m sure you’ll be different!”
I mean, I don’t doubt that everyone here knows that, but as someone who does routinely refer to one of her exes as “Evil Asshole,” I feel somewhat obligated to say it in passing. (Of course, I’ve been told that Evil Asshole tells other people I’m his “crazy ex,” so, yeah, definitely a good warning sign if it keeps people safe from him.)
Doesn’t everyone have at least one ex who they think is evil/crazy/kind of a jerk/etc? It’s when people are convinced that EVERY SINGLE PERSON they’ve ever dated or fucked is made of pure concentrated evil that I start giving them side-eye.